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September 16, 2020:


Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, the past two days have been mighty peculiar, I must say.  I can’t put my finger on why because why doesn’t like my finger anywhere near it and it doesn’t like my finger anywhere near why, but I, who should have been high as a kite after our tenth anniversary show, instead have felt a certain malaise these past two days, a certain despair, which I suppose many are feeling these days, due to the crazy world we’ve now been living in for the past six months. That and the need for little miracles that haven’t made themselves present yet is weighing heavily on my person.  I do not like when a certain malaise sets in and to the malaise, I say hold the malaise in the same way I always say hold the mayonnaise.  Now, I could be the first lyricist in history to rhyme mayonnaise with malaise, so let’s just get that out of the way right now.

I feel a certain malaise

When I say hold the mayonnaise

I don’t need praise when I say the phrase

Hold the mayonnaise

But I just hope the phrase stays

But that we can hold the malaise.

There, that’s done.  I do know that one thing that “gets” to me even though it shouldn’t is the number of online shows that have or are about to copy how we’ve been doing our shows – never a word of acknowledgment that we kind of were leading the way early on, just figuring out what we do and then usurping it, complete with our kind of flyers, out kind of credit lingo, all of it.  But that comes with the territory, I suppose, and it certainly happened with the live shows, too.  We were the ONLY show of our kind when we began, but within two years of our start the copycats began showing up, some brazenly being at our shows and actually taking notes. Sometimes, before I learned my lesson, I’d write something in these here notes about a project or idea and a week or two later I’d read that someone was doing the same thing, which, believe me, I would later find out was not a coincidence.   That is why I stay tight-lipped about most things these days.  I feel really good about the quality we’ve achieved in these online shows – the exact equivalent of the quality we have in our live shows.  The other thing that sometimes “gets” to me is the sheer number of “friends” I have that have somehow, in ten YEARS, have never seen a Kritzerland show – always an excuse, always something.  And they STILL haven’t seen them even though they’re now online and can be viewed anytime.  It seems almost willful in a way and I have to wonder if I need such friends in my life, oh, yes, I begin to wonder if I need such friends in my life.  And then there’s one very good friend who is behaving so repugnantly over such a silly thing that I had nothing to do with, that I’m thinking of ending that friendship.  This is someone I’ve been VERY good to for many, many years.  Sorry to write about the malaise but it’s always helpful to get the malaise out of one’s system. You know that I always try to remain positive as that is really the only way to live and survive, but occasionally one must get this stuff off one’s chest and I do hope you’ll forgive me for doing so.

Otherwise, I’m sitting here like so much fish, having taken a wonderful, hot shower (hot water came back around noon, thankfully – pilot light went out), which made me feel better as I washed the malaise down the drain.  I’m listening to the complete orchestral music of one Edvard Grieg, whose music I simply am not that well-versed in.  I knew the piano concerto’s opening minutes, of course, as that’s probably the most famous opening of all piano concertos, and I certainly knew Peer Gynt and a few other pieces, but most of this music is completely new to me and I must say that Mr. Grieg could really write a tune.  The Symphonic Dances is an amazing piece, filled with one memorable tune after another, with sublime orchestrations.  This budget six-CD set is very good – a conductor I normally don’t care for, Neemi Jarvi, but he does wonderful work here.  So, that’s a nice and uplifting way to end the evening.

Yesterday, was a day of feeling a certain malaise.  I got about seven hours of sleep, was up at ten, answered e-mails, decided I felt a certain malaise, and then Grant came over about eleven-thirty and figured out it was the pilot light – he pressed the button and it lit right up.  It took a couple of hours for the water to heat up, but it was nice to have it, so that was a plus.  I’d ordered food before going to bed and set a delivery time, so that went according to Hoyle and I was eating at one-thirty – a chicken wrap and the tiny side of chicken pasta salad, which I saved for later.  The wrap was very good.  The meal was free, save for tax and fees, so five bucks all in.

After that, I went to the mail place and picked up one package and came right home.  Once home, I had some nice e-mail volleys about the friend who’s behaving repugnantly, got some good advice, and then did some work on the computer, after which I finally sat on my couch like so much fish.

Last night, I watched a motion picture on Blu and Ray entitled Notorious, an Alfred Hitchcock film starring Cary Grant, Ingrid Bergman, and Claude Rains (who only gets a “featuring” credit on a page with eight other actors, which is shameful).  This is a great film, with a great script by Ben Hecht and perfect performances by Grant and Bergman in very complex roles.  But Claude Rains walks away with the film in a brilliant performance – he does the neat hat trick of making you care about him and feel bad for him.  The supporting players are all top notch.  This Blu-ray was the first one released, and the transfer isn’t so hot – but it’s a really difficult film because there are a huge number of opticals – Hitchcock was in his let’s have a dissolve after almost every cut.  I was sure I’d got the Criterion version when it came out, but of course if I did, I can’t find it.  I have to believe its transfer is better.  Anyway, I loved every minute of it.

After the movie, I was still feeling the malaise, so I took a 2.2-mile brisk walk, which was very helpful, then I took the hot shower, which was more helpful and where I finally said hold the malaise.  Then I listened to the music of Grieg.

Today, I’ll be up when I’m up, I’ll do whatever needs doing, I’ll hopefully hope for some little miracles, I’ll hopefully pick up some packages, then I’ll relax until it’s time to sup with Hartley Powers at one of our favorite jernts, albeit with outdoor dining.  After that, I’ll watch, listen, and relax.

Tomorrow, I have a late lunch meeting at another favorite jernt, albeit with outdoor dining. Then the rest of the week and weekend is unknown to me at this time.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up when I’m up, do whatever needs doing, hopefully hope for some little miracles, hopefully pick up some packages, sup with Hartley, and then watch, listen, and relax.  Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask me or any dear reader any old question you like and we get to give any old answer we like.  So, let’s have loads of lovely questions and loads of lovely answers and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, where I shall hold the malaise.

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