Well, dear readers, sometimes it’s astonishing how fast the time goes and the changes that occur. Back in 2010, we began doing our monthly Kritzerland shows. And a friend of mine and her daughter came to most of those early shows until they moved away as the mom got a job elsewhere. The daughter was six and cute as a button. They’d arrive, get their seats (they liked to be in the back of the club, and the little girl would come to me and hold my hand and follow me wherever I went – it was so sweet and adorable. Same thing after the show. So, yesterday, the mom and daughter were in town, and we set up a lunch at Stanley’s. I saw the mom about six years ago when she was here visiting, but I hadn’t seen Kate, the six-year-old, since 2011. Well, this adorable little shrimp of a six-year-old is now sixteen, taller than me, and beautiful. I couldn’t believe it when she walked in. And what a fun lunch we had. I heard all about what’s gone on with her – she did have a scary bout with cancer but got better and thankfully has been fine. She plays volleyball in school and some team, if I heard right. She remembered well the handholding and hanging by my side always and we laughed and laughed and just when we thought we could laugh no more, we laughed again. And here she is, this beautiful young girl. I wish I had a photo of her at six, but alas, I don’t.
In other news, yesterday’s topic of discussion was which books of mine did you dear readers think would make good motion pictures. I liked the choices but was surprised to see two books that I know would make wonderful movies in absentia. The Kritzer books would and could make a wonderful ten- or twelve-episode miniseries on Netflix or Amazon or any of those platforms. Someone would have to be smart enough to understand WHY they it would be wonderful, and therein lies the problem. It is a great failure on my part that I simply haven’t a clue how to even get this stuff to anyone. I tried having an old agent of mine help, right towards the beginning of my writing adventure, but he was pretty much out of it by that time and retired. So, nothing happened. Two people somehow found the Adriana Hofstetter books and both thought it would be a wonderful TV series, and both weren’t able to drum up interest or money. But you know what – it would make a wonderful series. Someone mentioned Patrick Bronstein Presents, which I think is such a slam dunk and they mentioned Mel Brooks. Well, I’ve been trying to get the book to him for a year now – people say they’ll help, then they don’t. It’s so easy, that one – you have Mel, in a role that would probably get him an Oscar or Emmy nomination, and if you had a name in the other role, say a Dev Patel, that’s icing on the cake. I’d film it as it’s written, and the only additions would be faux trailers from his movies. We’ve tried to get Joe Dante to read it, but apparently, he can’t be bothered just as he couldn’t be bothered to read the Kritzer trilogy, which I personally gave to him. I just don’t get people. Several of you mentioned Red Gold, and re-reading it last week it would absolutely make a stellar and fun western and probably be a hit and bring back the genre. I should think it would be easy to cast and you could get names for a few of the roles for sure. But who do you send it to and how? My first thought for director would be Clint Eastwood and I bet he’d like it. I think one person mentioned the latest book, Some Days Are Murder. That one’s harder to cast because you have to have the right Harry and Bernice. Twenty years ago, the Harry would have been obvious – Walter Matthau or even Red Buttons, who’s closer physically to the character description. It could certainly be a standalone film, or a back door pilot to a series. But how? Writer’s Block would be tough because the central conceit of the book is a literary one rather than visual – very hard to pull off, I think. Rewind – can’t really see it. There are several short stories in the collection of short stories, that would make wonderful short films, most especially Opening Out of Town, you know, the one where a couple suddenly finds themselves in an all singing, all dancing town. Wait – that sounds familiar – Schmigadoon anyone? That’s right, the idea I had back in the late eighties that I wrote as a spec script for Amazing Stories (it got cancelled before anything could be done) and which I later turned into the short story, suddenly is a hot idea. Only, it’s a one-joke idea that they think will work as a series. From what I’ve heard, it doesn’t even work as one episode. Opening Out of Town works perfectly.
But the two books no one mentioned are, for me, the two I’d most like to see as films: GEE, which I think is as good a book as I’ve ever written. I re-read it the other night and I was actually bowled over by how good it is – remember, I haven’t looked at any of these books since the day I did the final proofing – so, I’m quite divorced from them as I forget about the writing process when I’m done. And the other natural, for me, is Thrill Ride, although I’m sure whoever brought it to the screen would add some more plot to it. I didn’t in the book because my goal was to actually write a travelogue – of course, it has a strong plot, but I think an adapter would put something in the section of the present. And the funny thing is, the present in the book is 2017 and it’s astonishing how much has changed in just these four years. Several things mentioned in the book are gone. Of course, the film would be set now, not 2017. If someone asked me who could play Irene, the old woman caretaker, I’d offer up Sally Field or even Cindy Williams, both of whom would be absolutely perfect. So would Betty White, for that matter. The lead guy, the time traveler, could absolutely be a name.
But I fail these books every time in terms of knowing what to do with them. If I had a proper and good literary agent, it would be a piece of cake. That person would send them to every studio, every streaming service, or try to package it. I’ll keep on keeping on with Mel Brooks, because I think he’d love it. I’m proud of all my children, which is what these tomes are. I wish I could just get them out in the world more. But the wonderful thing about this world is that you never know what’s going to happen. I’d just like to be alive when it happens.
Yesterday was a very nice day, mostly because of the lunch. I got almost eight hours of sleep and did a few things before going to Stanley’s. Lunch was a bit over ninety minutes and afterwards, I came right home. Then I had to play through a new lyric for a new song we’re trying out for Nothing in Common, so that took some time. I didn’t really get much more done, other than tentatively book a one-song singer for the Kritzerland show, but that will only happen if I know the Shermans are coming for sure. Our reviewer, Rob Stevens, has reviewed his first show since the world shut down, so you can read that under “Now Playing.” It’s good to have him back. I did watch a motion picture whilst sitting on the couch like so much fish – entitled Headhunters, one of those Nordic thrillers. I saw it when I got the Blu-ray but remembered not a single thing about it. It’s based on a successful novel by Jo Nesbo, who’s written a few Nordic thrillers. I just looked up my thoughts on it from the first viewing and they’re still my thoughts nine years later. Here they be.
This is a highly touted thriller about a headhunter who’s also an art thief. It’s very much like an American thriller without the shaky cam. It’s full of “twists” you can see coming a mile away and it all feels very by the numbers. But it’s certainly well-made if too unnecessarily bloody and gross at times. I’m afraid the very trendy American thing of adults removing every vestige of adult body hari has made its way to countries that haven’t really jjumped on that bandwagon until recently. All these Danish and Swedish crime things have full frontal nudity, even the TV shows and this is the first time I’ve seen this “trend” in one of these films. I must say, I find it completely nauseating and truly odd – why do either sex find it attractive to see an adult trying to look like a pre-pubescent child? Someday, someone will do a treatise on this, and I don’t think the results will please some people. I understand we all have our likes and dislikes and what pleases us, but this particular trend makes no sense to me on any level. End of rant. The transfer looks great, but in the end, after reading so many raves, it was a bit of disappointment.
After that, I just listened to music, had some popcorn for my evening snack, and as I write these here notes the background music is John Barry’s marvelous score to Body Heat.
Today, I really have catching up to do with the Group Rep cabaret, I have to make a show order and write commentary for the Kritzerland show, I shall hopefully pick up some packages, eat, I’ll do whatever needs doing, and then at some point, I’ll watch, listen, and relax.
The rest of the week is more of the same, our first Kritzerland rehearsal on Thursday, our second on Sunday, and then our stumble-through on Tuesday and then our show on Wednesday.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, catch up on the Group Rep cabaret, make a show order and write commentary, hopefully pick up some packages, eat, do whatever needs doing, and then watch, listen, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: What’s been the most interesting and/or fun reunion with someone you haven’t seen in a decade or longer? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, happy to have gotten the books into movies malarkey off my chest.