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April 27, 2022:

THE BIG BURRITO

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I am sitting here like so much nauseous fish because of change. Yes, change is the root of all evil, food-wise, and it’s because of change that I am nauseously nauseous. Change, you spawn of the demon, you brutish troglodyte, you oleaginous ort. What the HELL am I talking about. Can change be a troglodyte? Can a troglodyte be a change? Well, here’s the deal: Yesterday, for food, I was waffling back and forth about what to eat – interestingly, waffles weren’t even on my radar, but then again, my radar isn’t even on my radar – first it was a pulled pork sandwich, then fried catfish, then a salad – but in the end I got tired of the waffling and went with La Fogata, the little Mexican jernt not too far from here. I normally order two beef tacos and that’s fine. I’ve also had their enchilada, which I didn’t really care for, and taquitos, which were okay. But yesterday I deviated from my usual two beef tacos, I veered from my usual path, I opted for change and ordered ONE beef taco and one bean and cheese burrito with guacamole added. It sounded good to me. When you order, you’re asked what kind of sauce you’d like – red or green – I had no idea what kind of sauce they were talking about, but I don’t like sauce that’s green because it looks like so much vomit, so I ordered the red. This, as it turns out, was a big mistake, not that the green was probably better. The food arrived not too long thereafter. I ate the taco, which was, as it always is, fine. The burrito was huge. This was a huge burrito. The only descriptor for this burrito would be huge. It was covered in red sauce, but not just ANY red sauce, noooo, this was covered in really smelly red sauce. I had a bite. The red sauce was not only smelly, it was rank-tasting, too, a potent combination. I then scraped off as much of the smelly, rank-tasting red sauce as I could, then ate the burrito. The guacamole was fine, the cheese wasn’t so good, and the beans were beans. I probably should have just tossed it, but a single taco wasn’t going to cut the mustard or the ketchup and besides, I paid for the damn burrito, didn’t I? And here I sit, the big burrito still making me nauseous, and the taste of the smelly, rank red sauce still there. I haven’t eaten a thing since, but I really wish I had something here to remove the taste. I’m just hoping it doesn’t get worse or, heaven forbid, turn into a case of food poisoning.

Speaking of vomit, prior to beginning these here notes, I watched a motion picture on the Flix of Net entitled Sweet Girl. It was almost two hours long. An hour and thirty minutes into it, I still could not figure out why it was called Sweet Girl. It was, of course, yet another terrible thriller, this particular one starring someone called Jason Momoa, someone I’d never heard of and hope to never hear of again. I gather he was in some Baywatch thing and Game of Thrones, one of those non-actors who talks in a very deep monotone voice that is further deepened electronically. It is, of course, a paranoid revenge drama, in which a lot of fighting occurs – he and his daughter are hounded by the shadowy forces of evil. It begins quite poorly and predictably with this person being chased by the FBI and ending up on the roof of a sports stadium, saying, what else – “It wasn’t supposed to end like this.” He then leaps from the roof into a river, and we instantly get a title card reading – what else – “Many years earlier.” Then we get the endless backstory – loving wife and daughter, wife gets cancer, everyone is weepy, doctor tells guy that there’s a new generic drug that’s about to be approved and it’s cheap and will really help mom. But the drug is withdrawn by the big bad people who withdraw drugs, mom passes away, dad is distraught and bent on revenge, and loving daughter likes to be tough like dad. But before the backstory begins, we get portentous Morgan Freeman-like voice-over telling us stuff we don’t really care about or need to know. And so it goes, dad and daughter in many scrapes fighting hired killers and the FBI, who is on their tale. And then, at ninety minutes in we get – what else – the twist that no one saw coming, except it’s pretty obvious there’s going to be a twist because by this time we’re bored out of our minds by the repetitive fights, and the twist is such a cliché and of such monumental stupidity, that makes hash out of everything that’s come before, that you sit there like so much nauseous fish finishing the final thirty minutes (the film is almost two hours long) just to see if it gets any stupider and if any more hoary cliches are trotted out – and yes, there’s one more to come. Leave it to Netflix to purchase crap like this and act like it’s some kind of brilliant film in the Taken mode. Directed by a first-time director who shows not one whiff of talent – every shot is exactly what you’d expect – well, you’ll want to miss this one for sure.

Yesterday, I got ten hours of sleep, answered e-mails, was told by the check-in gal that the book files had gone to content evaluation, even though I’d already told her that it was a sequel to last year’s book and there was nothing to evaluate – I don’t even think it went to content evaluation last year – and that she expected it to go to the designers by end of day and she’d confirm when that happened. It didn’t happen, so I wrote her a nice e-mail saying I needed it to go to the designers first thing this morning and that I expected confirmation of that. Otherwise, it was a pretty quiet day – a few telephonic conversations and stuff and that’s about it, other than the big burrito debacle.

Today, I’ll be up early, then Sami’s mom is coming at noon o’clock to go somewhere for lunch. She has some idea she wants to tell me. After that, I’ll hopefully pick up some packages, then I’ll come home and do some writing and whatever else needs doing, and then I’ll watch, listen, and relax.

Tomorrow will be a day and then we’ll have a little put-in rehearsal at the theater. Friday we’re back for our fifth weekend of performances, two of which will be with our replacement actress.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up early, have a lunch, hopefully pick up some packages, do some writing, and then watch, listen, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask me or any dear reader any old question you like and we get to give any old answer we like. So, let’s have loads of lovely questions and loads of lovely answers and loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, hoping I get through the night without the big burrito issues getting worse.

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