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May 5, 2022:

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, let me be the first to tell you the news: It is Cinco de Mayo, but let’s hold the mayo and talk about why May 5 is such an important day in the life of a ME. You see, a mere forty-seven YEARS ago, we began shooting a motion picture entertainment entitled The First Nudie Musical. We shot at Producer’s Studio across the street from Paramount, on stages 28 and 29, if memory serves. Never in my wildest imaginings did I ever think at the age of 27 I’d be writing, co-directing, and starring in my own motion picture and stepping on that soundstage that first day was frightening, exhilarating, thrilling, and every other ing. The first thing I learned right off the bat is that scheduling a scene involving nudity as the first shot of the day is really not too wise. There was no way for me to have known that, but I should have and should have said let’s not do that. And sure enough, the actress who had to do it was nervous about it and caused us about a fifteen-minute delay while I calmed her down because no one else wanted to do it. I knew her, so I just said that we all had to just jump in the water and do the thing and after that she was fine. And for the next seventeen days we continued shooting – mostly on the soundstage, but with three location days. All of it is, of course, detailed for many, many pages in There’s Mel, There’s Woody, There’s You. But that first day is forever etched in the windmills of my mind. And then, in the weirdest coincidence EVER, we began shooting The Creature Wasn’t Nice on May 5 six years later. What are the odds that May 5 would fall on a Monday for both films? That film we shot at Laird Studios in Culver City (now The Culver Studios – formerly Selznick Studios) and it was a hugely happy set from start to finish. Hard to believe that film is now forty-one years old. So, happy anniversary to The First Nudie Musical and The Creature Wasn’t Nice. It irritates me no end that I can’t post this on Facebook today due to being in Facebook jail until Friday afternoon thanks to their screwed-up algorithms. I’m just waiting for the day when someone with money takes them on and does a class action lawsuit. Want to know the comment? You won’t believe it, really. It was some thread about the Supreme Court leak, and someone posted that men shouldn’t be making these decisions for women. So, I said what I believe, which is my OPINION – I said, “Most men are jerks – not all, but many and they’re not too hard to spot.” That’s it. Hate speech, they called it. So now you apparently can’t make a general comment using the word “jerk.” It’s beyond stupid. I disagreed, as one can do, but they don’t care and don’t even look at it. And that, I believe, would justify a class action lawsuit. They should have to answer for their nonsense, but the best thing that could ever happen is that Facebook gets flushed down the toilet and someone creates a nice site for people to reconnect, stay in touch, and promote. I personally would like to take their ridiculous algorithms and shove each and every one of them right up Mr. Zuckerberg’s behind. I has spoken.

Otherwise, I am sitting here like so much fish, continuing the Dimitri Mitropoulos journey – currently disc 30 and a fabulous performance of Debussy’s brilliant La Mer (The Mer). The mono sound on the tape stuff sounds great. Also heard Berg’s Wozzeck, which I enjoy, and an absolutely stellar Petrushka by Stravinsky. Wonderful listening and lots to go. I did upload all sixty-nine CDs, so that’s done. Prior to listening, I watched an amazing motion picture on the Flix of Net entitled Den of Thieves. Amazing in its awfulness, that is. I like a good heist film and that’s why I watched. What I don’t like is a heist film with derivative plotting, no likeable characters, wholesale lifting from a slew of other movies – blatant lifting – and it can all be laid at the feet of its director/writer. It took him fourteen years to get it made. It lost money but not as much as you’d think and it’s getting a sequel, which is just about the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. It stars Gerard Butler as a tougher than nails cop who has his own little cop group. He’s a vile character and the thieves are vile so who are you supposed to give a flying Wallenda about. If you’ve seen the movie Heat, it’s that vibe because this writer/director clearly worships at Michael Mann’s feet only he isn’t Michael Mann. And then there’s a twist at the end that is so ridiculous that you just sit there and scratch your head how anyone could be that stupid – think The Usual Suspects only not clever. And the icing on the cake? Two hours and twenty minutes. Had it been ninety minutes, it might have actually had some entertainment value.

Yesterday was certainly something or other. I did get eight hours of good sleep, so that was nice. Once up, I answered e-mails, and then went to Gelson’s and got stuff for tuna sandwiches and a few Sparkling Ice drinks and other stuff I needed. Then I came right home and made two tuna sandwiches on onion rolls – very good, but my tummy hasn’t been happy for the last few hours, but that may well be this endless and debilitating stress that has me in the mood to go outside and walk in front of a moving car.

After that, I did some work on the computer, had some telephonic calls, began choosing songs for the June Kritzerland, watched the movie, and that brings us up to the minute, notes-wise. And Debussy is done and now it’s Schoenberg’s Erwartung, a one-act monodrama. This was its first recording, circa 1951 and other than it being mono it sounds as fresh as a daisy. It has no melody to speak of – rather atonal in an atonal way, but the orchestration is really interesting and I’m enjoying it. The orchestra consists of three flutes (third doubling on second piccolo), piccolo, four oboes, which is also the title of my next novel (fourth oboe doubles on English horn), four clarinets, bass clarinet, three bassoons, contrabassoon, four horns, three trumpets, four trombones, tuba, celesta, timpani, xylophone, glockenspiel, cymbals, bass drum, side drum, triangle, tam-tam, rattle, and harp, violins one and two, violas, cellos, double basses. It runs about thirty minutes. There are other recordings, most in stereophonic sound but I don’t care for the conductors – the only one I might try is conducted by Robert Kraft on Columbia.

Today, I’ll be up when I’m up, I’ll do whatever needs doing, I’ll finish liner notes, I’ll eat, I’ll hopefully pick up some packages, I’ll have a Zoom with David Wechter, and then I’ll watch, listen, and relax.

Tomorrow, we begin our final weekend of performances and I’m hoping they’ll be good houses and fun audiences. Would be fun to go out on a high. Saturday, the Kirkners are coming to see the show so we’re meeting for dinner beforehand. Sunday, I’m hoping we do some kind of partay after, but no one has said boo about it.

Let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the ham chunks and the cheese slices, let’s all dance the Hora and the Swim, for today is the birthday of our very own dear reader George. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our very own dear reader George. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR VERY OWN DEAR READER GEORGE!!!

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up when I’m up, do whatever needs doing, finish liner notes, eat, hopefully pick up packages, have a Zoom, then watch, listen, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite heist movies and when was the first time you saw The First Nudie Musical? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, wishing everyone a happy Cinco de Mayo and wishing a happy anniversary to The First Nudie Musical and The Creature Wasn’t Nice.

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