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May 7, 2022:

HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, remember in yesterday’s notes when I said I’d be out of Facebook jail yesterday afternoon? Well, some idiot bot or algorithm or MORON doubled the time so that I now cannot post until either late tonight or tomorrow. Talk about JERKS. Oh, wait, is that HATE SPEECH? Guilty. Facebook – Mr. Zuckerberg – are you listening? You are – JERKS. Not only JERKS, but big, humungous, smelly JERKS. Is that hate speech enough for you all? Because I can do better, I assure you. Speaking of hate speech, hold on to your hats and whoa, Nellie, here it comes. I found on the Flix of Net the recently shuttered Broadway musical, Diana, about Princess Diana. It ran a scant thirty-three performances before closing. If the producers had been responsible, it would have closed after one performance. So, yes, they lost the entire investment, BUT – thanks to Netflix, they probably covered some or most of it. This was taped at the theater but without an audience. I’m not gonna dwell on it, but I have to say if this is what musical theater has become, leave me out of it. There are those of us who take craft seriously. And this musical or purported musical has not one iota or whiff of craft anywhere – not the hideously bad book, the rank amateur lyrics that sound like a four-year-old wrote them (yes, they’re that bad), and music that is pure repetitive drivel that also sounds like the meanderings of a child. The actors have no chance with a show like this, not even my pal Judy Kaye, who tries to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear but the sow’s ear is SUCH a sow’s ear that there is no silk purse to be had. The sound is relentless – no one’s wearing lavs that I can see, so it was either pre-recorded or there’s something else at play. Certainly, all the chorus stuff is pre-recorded and I’m gonna guess it was that way for the production, too, all sweetened to death the way shows are today. The set is as bad as everything else, the lighting is so typical of today’s overly busy lighting – the costumes are fun, I’ll give it that much. The direction is non-existent, and the choreography is so bad that I literally wanted to hurl my shoe at the TV screen. And the cockiness of these creators is also so typical of today. If no one on that creative team could see just how awful this was in every department except costumes, well, that’s how it is today. End of HATE SPEECH, although every word of that would have been allowed on Facebook, which is, of course, the joke here.

Last night’s show had the smallest audience we’ve had but they were very good to play to. The cast had memory lapses throughout, which I’ll never understand six weeks into a run. It was a bit too rough, tech-wise, for my taste, but everyone will be back tonight (we were missing someone last night so things had to continually be adjusted), except for the sound person, who will be the stand-by sound person, so hopefully that will go okay. After the show, about six of us went to Doug Haverty’s house for a little cast partay – most of the cast were too tired to do it, so I’m thinking that after the final performance comes down at four tomorrow, maybe those who can will all go a nearby restaurant for some food and merriment and mirth and laughter and legs.

Yesterday wasn’t so hot. I got seven hours of sleep, got up, answered e-mails, realized that we haven’t gotten a Kritzerland order in the past six days. I’m not sure that’s ever happened, but it’s sadly typical of the way things are going these days. Then I had a long telephonic conversation that just confirmed to me that I am on a path that seems pre-ordained now. I made pasta with butter and cheese for food and that was okay. I made a small deposit in the ATM, and then watched the vomiticious Diana. After that, I shaved and showered and then moseyed on over to the theater. The rest you know.

Today, I’ll be up by eight-thirty and out the door by nine so that she of the Evil Eye can do her thing. I don’t really want to eat but I honestly don’t know how else to kill time. We shall see how it all shakes out, I suppose. Then I’ll go to the mail place and hopefully pick up an important envelope that’s due, then I’ll come home and relax for a while. I’ll shave and shower and then I’m meeting Peyton and her mom for dinner. I’ll leave after an hour and fifteen minutes, and they’ll hang out at the restaurant until seven. Then we play our second to last performance and I hope to heaven we have a nice crowd. Last night was truly disappointing in that regard, but I’m told there was a lot of Covid fear mongering over the last two days and I do think that affects people.

Tomorrow is our final performance and then I’m sure some of us will go out after. If not, I’ll just come home. And then it’s on to the Kritzerland show, unless I decide to cancel it, which I’ll do if I keep having trouble finding a pianist.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up by eight-thirty and out the door by nine, do things until noon, hopefully pick up an important envelope, relax, eat, see our second to last show, and then come home. Today’s topic of discussion: What is the most hideously awful musical you’ve ever seen – the one with not a single thing to recommend it, the one with no noticeable craft. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, hoping you all held on to your hats for my various and sundried rants.

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