Well, dear readers, I feel we must say it like it is, we must lay it on the line, we must not beat around the bush – and so I shall for the former two and shan’t for the latter one, which is the long way of saying, rant ahead. But before we do that, has anyone noticed that March marched right in silently and stealthily? Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, it is March, and it is my fervent hope and prayer that March will be a month filled with health, wealth, happiness, creativity, and all things bright and beautiful. And now – the rant. Yesterday, I decided to watch all eight episodes of a Flix of Net Limited Series. The eight episodes run about six hours in total, which is about four hours too many, as per usual with these things. The show was entitled Clickbait, which proved to be fairly accurate as a description. Despite taking place in Oakland, it was filmed in nearby Australia with mostly Australian actors. These limited series mysteries are all from the same cookie cutter, I’m afraid, both in writing and directing. I think they all harken back to the Swedish show The Killing, at least its first season. In each episode you’re led down the garden path to suspect this or that person or thing, but since there are many episodes to come, I think you know that that’s all a bunch or communist herrings. But you go along with it, you watch, you feel stupid for watching, you wince at the predictable and horrible dialogue, you don’t really care about anyone (there IS one excellent performance by an actor around episode six or seven and you do care about him but that’s the actor, not the writing). But what do we really know about these limited series other than that they’re limited in creativity and talent? Well, here’s what we know: At least twelve times we will hear the line, “We’re done here.” We know in every episode, either in the middle or at the beginning or end, there will be some useless and pointless song. We know that if someone apologizes or feels bad they will not merely say, “I’m sorry,” they will either say, “I’m SO sorry” or “I’m SO SO sorry.” And the latest of the cliches, when someone is on the computer looking at something or texting or getting texts we will have that graphic not as a cutaway but huge on the screen for no reason whatsoever. I feel like I saw the show that began that malarkey, but I can’t remember what it was – but it’s now part of the visual landscape of these sorry shows. This one stars Zoe Kazan and one or two other American actors, none of whom really have anything to play except the same beat over and over again. We know that there will be conveniences throughout, we know logic will play no part whatsoever, and in the case of this particular limited series, the reveal in the final episode is so ridiculous, so preposterous, so insulting, as to defy credulity. And then we must continue watching as they wrap up that ridiculousness. And yet, it was quite popular on Netflix – at least Netflix says so. It wasn’t quite so popular with the critics, most of whom did what I did but not strongly enough – told it like it was, laid it on the line, and not beat around the bush. There, I’ve said it and I’m glad and I don’t care who knows it.
Yesterday was a light day as days go. I got eight and a half hours of sleep, got up, answered e-mails, and I’d pre-ordered a bacon cheeseburger and fries from nearby Islands. That arrived around one o’clock. Now, you can visually track your online order via DoorDash. You can see where the car is and what route the driver or Dasher is taking to get to you. In this case, Islands is literally three minutes from the home environment. I saw that he’d arrived at Islands and was waiting to pick it up. Once he had it, it was estimated that he was four to seven minutes away. Only he wasn’t because this nincompoop then sat in his car for a little over ten minutes, a half-block from the restaurant, perhaps having a telephonic conversation, although it doesn’t matter. He finally arrived about fourteen minutes after picking up the food. Normally, the Dasher will text you when he’s on his way. This guy did not. Normally the Dasher will ring the doorbell when he leaves your food. This guy did not. In fact, he didn’t text me that it was there until AFTER he’d driven away, which was probably on purpose.
And it was exactly as I suspected – the burger was ice cold as were the fries. Also, I’d asked for a thing of their season salt, which was not included – it is the Dasher’s job to make sure the order is complete. I nuked the burger and fries but heating them that way actually makes them almost inedible. I ate the burger, but it was very gross, and I only ate a few of the fries. I then contacted DoorDash via their online chat (you can also call, but I just used their chat thing), and I told them it was unacceptable in every way, and they ended up crediting the entire cost back to me. That was fine. What they couldn’t credit back to me was having to endure the lingering taste of the awfulness I’d eaten. I then went to Gelson’s and got a muffin top, hoping that would get rid of the taste. It did not. Then I began watching Clickbait. After the third episode, I still felt I needed to get something decent into my stomach, even though my plan was to just eat the burger and fries and nothing else. With that out the window, I ordered some Uptown Mac-and-Cheese from Granville, which was, of course, free. It arrived hot and fresh and I ate it and that was helpful. Then I finished the series and here we are, writing these here notes in the wee small hours of the morning.
Today, I’ll be up by eleven-thirty at the latest, I have some work to do on L.A. Now and Then, figuring out who’s doing what in the sketches and solos/duets – I did some of that yesterday, but there’s more to do today. I’m thinking of going somewhere for a sandwich – I have to have a few days of just one meal a day or at least no more than 1200 calories. I’m a blimp right now and I cannot stand the sight of myself. Then we have a three-hour rehearsal. Our MD is with us, so we’ll run everything we’ve staged and then we’ll teach the solos and duets and do tracks for whatever we need. I’ll also stage a few of the simple sketch things, as that’s easy.
Tomorrow is more of the same and our choreographer will be with us to finish up her stuff. Thursday is staging sketches and solos/duets. Saturday I’ll stage the wrestling scene and that will be fun. I’ll work with just those two people for two hours, then bring in the others who are in the scene. Then I can have Sunday to relax.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up by eleven-thirty at the latest, I’ll assign roles for the show, I’ll have a sandwich of some sort, I’ll have a rehearsal, and then I can come home and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: Which limited series have you enjoyed the most – there have been some excellent ones, like The Queen’s Gambit. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, happy to have ranted about the limitedness of the limited series and happy to say a hearty hello to March – and it is my fervent hope and prayer that March will be a month filled with health, wealth, happiness, creativity, and all things bright and beautiful.