Well, dear readers, my brain does not seem to be functioning at this time, hence the "Untitled Friday Notes". Actually, I always enjoy when the announce a new film that way, like "Untitled Woody Allen" or "Untitled Steven Spielberg". I mean, if it's good enough for Hollywood, it's good enough for the likes of haineshisway.com. Speaking of Hollywood, I watched a new DVD last night, a motion picture comedy entitled Neil Simon's California Suite. I think they should have called it "Untitled Neil Simon" but, no, they called it Neil Simon's California Suite because it was based on his hit play, which, by the way, had a title, so they couldn't exactly call it "Untitled", now could they? Well, they could, but it would have been unseemly. The play was entitled California Suite, but for the film they decided it should be Neil Simon's California Suite, so that it wouldn't be confused with John Huston's California Suite. It was very interesting to watch it, for a variety of reasons. Not a Hollywood Reporter of reasons, mind you, no, it was interesting to watch it for a Variety of reasons, or, more accurately, a Daily Variety of reasons. Of course, this paragraph is getting so long I've forgotton what those reasons are, but I do remember they were interesting. Perhaps if we all click the Unseemly Button below, I'll remember what the Daily Variety of reasons were. Click on.

Yes, now I remember what the Daily Variety of reasons were. And by gum if they aren't interesting as all get out. Actually, they are more interesting than all get out, as I don't find all get out all that interesting in the first place. What the hell am I talking about? Oh, yes, Neil Simon's and not Ryan O'Neal's California Suite. I saw the film when it came out, and I remember being very taken with it and thinking it very funny. But watching it now, it seems strained and lifeless. Herbert Ross was an okay director, not a great one, and here his pacing is not so great. Plus, the continual "opening up" of the first playlet, just robs the piece of its momentum. The performers are wonderful, however. The dialogue, when it works, is classic Simon and I laughed out loud several times. But, more often than not, it seemed strained to me, especially in the truly unfunny Bill Cosby/Richard Pryor playlet, which has been stretched out and inserted throughout the film. Towards the end of it, Pryor does manage to get some laughs, but otherwise their entire sequence is painful (in more ways than one) to watch. Maggie Smith is terrific and so is Michael Caine, in their playlet. The one playlet that works best, is the one they did the least opening up of, the Walter Matthau/Elaine May vignette. May I just say here and now and also now and here, that Elaine May is one of the most underrated comediennes ever. I wish she'd done more film acting, because I always adore her and her timing is just a marvel to watch. Even in Woody Allen's trifle, Small Time Crooks, she's just brilliant and nails whatever few laughs he gave her. One of her finest hours is in her first film (I think it was her first film), Enter Laughing. And she's an interesting director and a great writer, too. The DVD looks great, I must say.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? I just love movies, that's the real fact of the matter. I also tried to watch something called Brother, a film by the director of Kikojuro, a really charming film from a couple of years ago. But this thing had so much violence in the first fifteen minutes, it was just stomach churning and I shut it off. Good score, though, by Joe Hisashi, who did Princess Monoke and the aforementioned Kikojuro.

I may have an interesting announcement or two to make in the upcoming weeks. Or, I may not.

And just where the hell has Mr. Mark Bakalor been? Not a peep (peep, spelled backwards) from him, nothing but Ingmar Bergman's The Silence from him. I feel that he who has been doing the bitch-slapping will have to be bitch-slapped by those who have been taking the bitch-slapping. Perhaps I'll go to Roman Polanski's Chinatown later, for some Chinese food (or should it be Robert Towne's Chinatown?). I am in an Alfred Hitchcock's Frenzy, because today I'm doing all the last minute corrections and editing on my very own book, so that I can send the manuscript to the publishers. I've had a lot of e-mail regarding the book from interested dear readers. It will be out sometime in May, according to those in the know, and I couldn't be more excited. Several people have asked me the title of the book - it's called Benjamin Kritzer. When it comes closer to the release of the book, I will talk about the experience of writing the damn thing.

I may have an interesting announcement or two to make in the upcoming weeks. Or, I may not.

So, what were my favorite albums of last year? John Williams' Artificial Intelligence was my favorite film score album (although I could live without the awful vocal pop songy things). Another fave was Claus Ogermann's new classical album on Decca. Just wonderful, and if you don't know Mr. Ogermann's work, give it a try - lyrical and wonderful orchestral textures and colors. I fell in love with Mr. Ogermann's work because of the album Bill Evans with Symphony Orchestra, which Mr. Ogermann orchestrated and conducted. My favorite piece on that album (all classical music performed by symphony orchestra and the Bill Evans jazz trio) was, in fact, written by Mr. Ogermann (Elegia), and I've loved his music ever since. His Warner Bros. album Gate of Dreams is one of my top ten desert island discs. My favorite show album? Well, I don't know that I should choose one because, as some of you might imagine, I might be a little biased. Tomorrow, I'll list some more of my favorites of Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey.

I want everyone to know that I, bk, did all my own handy-dandy linking. I am now quite an expert linker. Don't forget that tomorrow there will be a brand spanking new trivia question for you to answer, and I'll tell you all about the new The Broadway Radio Show that will be coming up next Monday. Don't forget to post your unseemly comments in the Unseemly Comment Box below, and if you missed yesterday's (or any other day's) notes, simply use the Unseemly Archive button and you will be whisked away to Archiveland, where you can peruse past notes to your heart's content.