Well, dear readers, it is February. We forgot to mention that fact yesterday, but that was only because the notes were so dry. Let's have a poll: how many of you dear readers pronounce February "FebRUary" and how many of you dear readers pronounce it "FebUary"? Now that we've had a poll, should we have a pole? And after we've had the pole should we have a czech? Just asking. Seriously, just what in tarnation is that first "r" doing in February and why don't we pronounce it, since it's there? Frankly, I think it's a mistake. I think some printer a long time ago accidentally put an "r" in Febuary and then it just became popular with the populace and the rest is history. Yes, I think it was a printer's faux pas. "Faux pas". How many unnecessary letters are in those two words? In any case, I just thought I'd mention The February Conundrum, which is also a novel by Robert Ludlum.

Did you know that "conundrum" spelled backwards is murdnunnoc?

Did you know that today is Unseemly Trivia Contest day?

I have seen many many motion pictures in my time, dear readers, but not all motion pictures. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, there are still motion pictures from the Golden Age that I have not seen. That is a good thing, because wouldn't life be a boring old thing if one had seen every single motion picture ever made and therefore had nothing to discover? Did anyone notice that the last sentence started out as a statement and ended up as a question? How many other things can we name that started out as a statement and ended up as a question? In any case, I picked up quite a few of next week's DVDs yesterday, and amongst them was a motion picture I hadn't seen. To find out the name of this motion picture that I'd never seen, I do believe we'll all have to click on that Unseemly Button below. Whilst doing that, I must tell you that the bird is outside singing "Dinner For One Please, James". How many birds can sing that song? In fact, how many people can sing that song? How many things start off as statements and end up as questions? Why am I still typing when we're all supposed to be clicking that ridiculous Unseemly Button below?

In any case, last night I watched a motion picture that I'd never seen before. It was entitled Hallelujah, I'm a Bum! and it starred Al Jolson. This film was made in 1933 and it was directed by Mr. Lewis Milestone, who, thirty years later, would direct the original version of Ocean's Eleven. And for those who wish I wrote about musicals more, yes, Virginia, Hallelujah, I'm a Bum! is a musical. First of all, I love Al Jolson's voice and have ever since I discovered The Jolson Story on Channel Nine's Million Dollar Movie. He wasn't a great actor, but he was a great showman, although in the other Jolson films I've seen, very little of that charm was captured on screen. Well, it's captured aplenty in this film. First off, let me say that this is one of the strangest most surreal movies ever made in the entire history of the cinema. It is just downright peculiar, and it is also downleft peculiar, too. Jolie plays "the Mayor of Central Park" who is proud and happy to be a bum. He has a Black friend, and another friend (who spouts political jargon) played by Harry Langdon. He is also friends with the real Mayor of New York, played by Frank Morgan, who, six years later would play the Wizard of Oz. And who wrote the score for this delightfully daffy concoction? Why, none other than Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart. They also musicalized and lyricized much of the dialogue, too, which gives the film its surreal tone. The screenplay is by S.N. Behrman from an idea by Ben Hecht. It's filled with wacky and strange one-liners. I'd never heard any of the songs in this film - including the ballad that's supposedly a standard, You Are Too Beautiful. The songs are great - really fun, and one of them, which they maddeningly never do in its entirety, I've Got To Get Back To New York, is a real gem, a classic Rodgers and Hart song. Guy Haines will be doing it if he ever does a second album (perhaps in the works).

Some of the direction in this film is quite brilliant, including an incredibly long and amusing tracking shot in a bank that is a jaw dropper for 1933. Jolie is wonderful, and so is the Black actor who plays his friend, and whose name I can't remember. Frank Morgan is great as the Mayor, and in one scene that will have you doing a doubletake, he lies on his bed in a drunken stupor and says over and over again, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home." Harry Langdon is very weird. Did you know that I was once accused of imitating Harry Langdon? In Arthur Knight's incredibly ruthless pan of The First Nudie Musical (I think he and the Variety reviewer were paid to pan it - you'll hear all about that in the faux documentary included on the DVD), he accused me of copying Harry Langdon. Of course, I'd never seen Harry Langdon at that point, so it would have been difficult to copy him, but after watching him in this film, other than a certain thing I did with my eyebrows and a certain innocence in our two personas, I can't really see it. Where was I? Oh, yes, I was about to talk about "the girl". The girl is played by Madge Evans, who I don't believe I've ever seen before. She is an astonishingly beautiful woman, in fact, I was bowled over by her beauty and her performance, which was flawless. I shall have to look up her history and see why she wasn't a major star. Anyway, I recommend Hallelujah, I'm a Bum! - after all, it's delightfully daffy.

Well, dear readers it's time for our Unseemly Trivia Contest, this week a guest question from our very own Craig Brockman.

Name the two musicals and the two songs within them that use the phrase "Glory Osky" and name the performer who just happens to appear on both of their respective original cast albums.

Is that a question or a statement? How confusing. It's a question, certainly, but it's almost just as certainly a statement. How many things start out as a statement and end up a question? In any case, you have until midnight Monday to submit your answers via the "ask Bruce" button located somewhere. Please do not post the answer because if you do an angry mob of dear readers will come to your very own home and pelt you with cheese slices. If we have multiple High Winners, then the Highest Winner will be chosen randomly by our Electronic Hat Method (EHT).

Well, I am off to a rare book fair. Tomorrow I will be back with yet more notes, so do drop by.