haines his way

02/15/2002:
"THE LONG WEEKEND"

Well, dear readers, I am getting a very late start on these here notes. I awoke this morning at six-thirty, and I got so annoyed that I refused to get up. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, I refused to get up. I lay in bed like so much fish. Or is it, I lied in bed like so much fish? Or is it, I lie in bed like so much fish? First of all, I never lie in bed, I only tell the truth in bed. Second of all, do fish lie? I've never heard a fish tell a lie, frankly or even williamly. Fishes are one of the most honest species, especially the scrod. Always trust a scrod is what I say - in fact, let's make that the motto of today's notes: In Scrod We Trust.
Well, these here notes are off to a fine start, aren't they? Given the lateness of the hour what else can one expect. We must simply write, write, write, and whatever comes out will simply have to be right, right, right, it will simply have to do. I presume that everyone had a wonderful day yesterday eating heart-shaped cheese slices and ham chunks and being all romantic and gushy and kissing and fondling and dancing the Carioca. I, for one, danced the tap-tap-Tapioca (from Thoroughly Modern Millie) and then I ate some Rice Pudding. Perhaps I should have danced the r-r-Rice Pudding and then eaten some tapioca pudding. That might have been a nice change of pudding pace. And just who, pray tell, invented the word "pudding"? Just look at it. "Pudding". Somebody somewhere was boiling up some chocolate glop, looked at it and said, "Hey, wait, I know, I'll call this chocolate glop "pudding".
I like whipped cream on my pudding, don't you? Of course, what the cream did to deserve the whipping is another story. Well, I'll tell you, the cream was being sour and it simply had to be whipped, if only to teach it a lesson, sour cream-wise. What the hell am I talking about? I do believe I have gone off on a tangent. In any case, I am presuming everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day because they certainly weren't posting. Yes, Virginia, we had very few posts yesterday. Let's have lots more today.
Last night I finally sat down to watch a movie I have been avoiding like the plague. Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I'd never seen the stage show, which everyone told me was most excellent. I'd heard the album and thought it was okay. I could just never get up the energy to go see the thing, either in New York or here. Then I heard all the raves for the film, and how brilliantly directed it was and I saw how it made several ten best lists. So, I bought the DVD and finally plopped it in the machine. What did I think? Well, let's all click the Unseemly Button and find out, shall we?

I wanted to love it, I really did. I want to love everything I see, film-wise. But I'm afraid I didn't love it. I just couldn't get with the thing, no matter how hard I tried. I, of course, admire anyone with a vision who has the courage and strength to get the thing done. And John Cameron Mitchell does a fine job as Hedwig. But the "story" never grabbed me as I was hoping it would. The songs seem fine, and the recording of them is top notch. The direction (by Mr. Mitchell) was okay, but not a whole lot more. I liked the animation by, I think, Elizabeth Hubley. I do know I'm in the minority about Hedwig - both show and film have rabid admirers. I will give it one more shot and watch it again, perhaps even this weekend.
Don't forget that tomorrow is our handy-dandy Unseemly Trivia Contest. We're having, I'm told, a long weekend, because Monday is President's Day. Isn't that exciting?
I was lucky enough to score a DVD of my favorite film of last year, A.I. (three weeks early!). Unfortunately, they're doing two releases, one full frame and one enhanced for widescreen tvs. This was the full frame, so I won't watch the movie disc, but I did watch the entire four hours worth of supplements, and they're very interesting indeed. The effects in A.I. are seamless and subtle and brilliant, and it's great fun to see how they did them. Some of the effects I didn't even know were effects, that's how good they are. There are interviews with just about everyone, including Spielberg, the cameraman, the art director, sound person, John Williams, Haley Joel Osment and Jude Law, and many others. One thing that was fairly astonishing to me, is that the lady who plays Haley's "mom" is a Brit. Another interesting thing is that the mechas at the end, which confused more than a few people (some folks thought they were ETs because they resembled the ET at the end of Close Encounters), were based on designs by someone Kubrick had hired, and had very little to do with Spielberg at all. In fact, Spielberg was quite true to these designs that Kubrick had commissioned and apparently approved.
Since I didn't offer up any of my favorite opening numbers (yesterday's discussion topic), here are a few that tickle my fancy: Comedy Tonight (which I agree is about as perfect an opening as you could ask for); It's A Typical Day (from Li'l Abner - another perfect opening that perfectly sets the tone for what follows); Company (from Company); The Advantages of Floating in the Middle of the Sea (from Pacific Overtures; Wilkommen (from Cabaret - brilliant); All That Jazz (from Chicago); Magic to Do (from Pippin); those are all opening numbers which fulfill the job of what an opening should do - be exciting, clever, set the tone for the show, and tell us, the audience, what type of evening we're in for. Funnily, one of the most perfect musicals ever written doesn't really have a strong opening number - it has a strong opening scene and song, and somehow that gets the show off with a bang anyway, and that's Gypsy. Let's still have this be the topic of discussion for Unseemly Comments, since we had so few yesterday on account of people being all romantic and gushy and dancing pudding dances.
Well, dear readers, it is time to get these notes up and for me to do the things I do. And do remember - you can always trust a fish. A fish will never steer you wrong. A tuna is truthful, a halibut is honest, Lott doesn't lie. Don't forget our today's motto: In Scrod We Trust.

Replies: 17 Unseemly Comments

Don't forget to tune in this Sunday afternoon for the next edition of The Broadway Radio Show...so, what's it about this week? Well, I don't want to give too much away, but it will be called "It's A Small World" -- and that's all I'm gonna say!
Posted by Donald @ 02/15/2002 10:43 AM PST

Well, consider us all duly chastized. What a stinging rebuke. What a dressing down! I hope we've all learned our collective lesson, and have vowed to become productive citizens of this message board.
As I have already nominated my favorite opening number, I will move on to Favorite Production by Jack Webb. I'll have to lend my support here to "The Last Time I Saw Archie" which not only offers Robert Mitchum and Jack Webb together on the big screen (wonderful enough, in and of itself), but also boasts the fact that Bob Mitchum's eponymous character is actually based on Arch Hall, who, after inspiring this film, went on to produce some movies of his own in the '60s. Most notable of his efforts, perhaps, is "Eegah," starring Richard Kiel as a caveman mysteriously still alive in the swingin' '60s and hanging out in a canyon, and Arch's son Arch Hall, Jr. as a smooshy-faced would-be guitar legend. They just don't make 'em like that one anymore.
Posted by Lulu @ 02/15/2002 10:49 AM PST

I wasn't REALLY chastizing, only pretend chastizing and only because I love to see this here message board (which really isn't a message board even though that's what I want it to be) loaded with messages. I saw The Last Time I Saw Archie at a sneak preview way back when and liked it quite a bit. What that film really did for me however, was introduce me to one of the most beautiful songs I'd ever heard: At Last.
Posted by bk @ 02/15/2002 01:46 PM PST

I second "Magic to Do," if for no other reason than it was the first Broadway show I saw on Broadway (as opposed to National Tours). I still remember the excitement of waiting for the show to begin (some old Broadway hound was sitting next to me and giving me Leland Palmer's life story, which, I'm sorry, did not interest me at all), then the disembodied voice came on warning us there was no intermission, so we'd better "take care of business" now, and, a few seconds later, that great organ opening and dancing fluorescent hands. Wow!
Posted by JMK @ 02/15/2002 02:11 PM PST

I wasn't really chastizing you for chastizing us, I was only pretend chastizing you for chastizing us, which it turns out was pretend, so I was pretend chastizing you for pretend chastizing us, which really does seem to be taking a good thing too far.
Anyhoo, I was wondering if anybody here could help me with a question. I have loved for quite a long time a song that I heard in a film called "Mother is a Freshman," starring Loretta Young. I believe it's called "Dream," and goes, in part, "Dream...when the day is through...dream...(something that ends with a rhyme for "do")...Dream...da da da da daaaa da da da...so dream, dream, dream."
Anybody know if "Dream" is the title, and if so, is it available on CD? Even better, is it available in the version that is in that film?

Thanks!
Posted by Lulu @ 02/15/2002 02:20 PM PST

"Dream" is a Johnny Mercer tune, and is performed by Roy Orbison on the "You've Got Mail" soundtrack. Somehow I highly doubt this is the same version you've heard, though...:)
Posted by Stacie @ 02/15/2002 02:29 PM PST

Roy Orbison? Oh, dear, no...that's not the version that I'd like to find. Thanks, though!
Posted by Lulu @ 02/15/2002 02:55 PM PST

So, JMK...
tell us a bit about Leland Palmer.
Or at least about fluorescent hands.
Posted by Lulu @ 02/15/2002 02:59 PM PST

I believe that the biggest version of "Dream" was by the Mills Brothers, at least that's the one I remember. Re: Leland Palmer. This guy talking about her was SCARY for a little boy from SLC out on his own in NYC for the first time--he was going on and on about how she was discovered (I truly can't remember that part), and then he went into great detail about "Your Own Thing," which was her biggest pre-"Pippin" credit (and maybe her only one, but BK would probably know more about that than I do). All I remember is scrunching ever further away in my chair hoping this ancient man, who was probably very nice and almost certainly lonely, would just start talking to the people on his OTHER side! And the fluorescent hands--oh, my merciful heavens, if you don't know how the Broadway version of "Pippin" started, there's no way I can adequately describe it. Suffice it to say all you could see were white gloved-hands all the way up to the top of the proscenium (presumably black-lit), boogie-ing away to that groovy, Carole King-ish opening riff. A sight I will never, ever forget.
Posted by JMK @ 02/15/2002 03:49 PM PST

Now, this is more like it! Lulu, try allmusic.com and search Dream by Johnny Mercer. That will tell you all the versions that are available on CD. Hi, Stacie! And, because we now love to play Six Degrees of Bruce Kimmel, I did a television series with the lovely Leland Palmer, entitled Dinah Shore and her New Best Friends - we were a summer replacement for Carol Burnett on CBS. Also starring Diana Canova.
Posted by bk @ 02/15/2002 04:20 PM PST

JMK,
That sounds awesome! We sang "Corner of the Sky" in 5th grade choir...that's as close as I've ever come to seeing a production of "Pippin." I think that's also the song that Barry Williams sang on "The Brady Bunch Variety Hour," if memory serves. Way to taint a fond memory, "Greg."
I did look up some info on "Dream," once I knew that was the title and that it was by Johnny Mercer. Silly me! I assumed it was this not very well-known song from a little movie and it turns out to be some sort of standard or something. I didn't even know about the Broadway show in '97. Shows you how much I know (nothing). It looks like there are only two versions on CD -- Ella Fitzgerald and Frank Sinatra (looks like allmusic glossed right over Roy Orbison).
What is Diana Canova up to these days, I wonder? Apparently stuff on the east coast that keeps her too busy for commentaries. I remember watching her show "Daddy, I'm a Big Girl Now" (that's right...I was one of the dozen or so people who did) when I was but a wee lass. I must have liked it, since I watched it every week, but I do remember that the kid who played her daughter gave me hives.
Posted by Lulu @ 02/15/2002 05:45 PM PST

And about Hedwig...
My response to it was much the same. Lots of hype and praise from people whose opinions I trust, then when we were done watching the DVD, my husband and I kind of looked at each other and said, "Huh. That's different." I absolutely understand why you put the word "story" in quotes, Bruce.
Posted by Lulu @ 02/15/2002 05:50 PM PST

LOL, Lulu (there's a nice bit of alliteration if there ever was some). I had the pleasure of recently performing in concert with Brooks Ashmanskas, one of the featured performers in "Dream". He told wicked-funny stories about the production which are unfortunately not repeatable at a family site such as this. We did a bunch of Mercer in that concert. For a great introduction to Mercer, get the DVD of "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil." The entire song score is comprised of Mercer gems (Mercer was a Savannah boy, hence the connection), and, if I recall, there are some extras on the DVD concerning him as well. Ever since I saw that movie, Rondstadt's version of "Skylark" has been permanently imprinted on my brain.
Posted by JMK @ 02/15/2002 05:51 PM PST

Oh, c'mon, JMK (pronounced, if I am not mistaken, "Jimuk?"). Surely at least some small part of the "wicked funny stories" are repeatable on a family site?? Just a smidge?
Anyway, just which family are we talking about here? Just assume that it's not the Cleaver family, but, say, the Loud family.
Posted by Lulu @ 02/16/2002 04:40 AM PST

Another favorite opening number of a musical --CAROUSEL
Posted by Arnold M.Brockman @ 02/16/2002 06:07 AM PST

Oh, come on, everybody...we're so close to having 20 messages on this message board. I think that would be a new record. Just three more people need to post, and Bruce will be so happy that mayhaps he will do the pudding dance for us. Please please please, let's make that happen.
Posted by Lulu @ 02/16/2002 08:15 AM PST

OK, so my math is crummy. NOW only three more people need to post. Maybe this will get you started: who here doesn't like stuff, and why?
Posted by Lulu @ 02/16/2002 08:44 AM PST

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