haines his way

02/28/2002:
"THE LAST OF FEBRUARY"

Well, dear readers, it is the last day of February. I find that very strange indeed, as I have no clue where the other twenty-seven days of February went. Of course, February is a short month, but still, it just zoomed by, like an Olympic high-speed runner on his way to eat Ethiopian food. Have you ever seen an Olympic high-speed runner on his way to Ethiopian food? Fast, that's all I can say. They zoom by, just like February. As for me, I don't eat Ethiopian food more than once every thirty-five years, so I like my February to go a little slower. But my February is contrary, just like my Mary, and it just went fast whether I liked it or not. Well, bring on March - I'm ready for March - I'm marching toward March with head high, butt cheeks swinging and a song in my heart. What the hell am I talking about? It reeks of Orange Chicken around here.
Why does it reek of Orange Chicken around here? Well, I'll tell you why it reeks of Orange Chicken around here, because this is information you cannot do without, especially on the last day of February. It reeks of Orange Chicken around here because I brought home Orange Chicken leftovers from the Chinese restaurant known as Bamboo Village and then left it out rather than putting it in the refrigerator. When I entered my handy-dandy kitchen this morning it positively reeked of Orange Chicken. And here's another story that concerns my visit to Bamboo Village. I went there, as you already know, to sup. We had Orange Chicken, Mu-shu pork, and soup. It was a fine repast. I paid with a handy-dandy credit card, had the leftovers wrapped up and went home. About an hour later I was sitting on my handy-dandy couch like so much fish and the phone rang. It was AT&T Universal Card and they were apologizing for the late call. I immediately assumed something had gone amiss when they charged the card or something, until I quickly remembered I hadn't used that card. No, they were calling to tell me that Bamboo Village had called them to say I'd left my handy-dandy wallet in the restaurant. I thanked the nice lady profusely, called the restaurant and thanked the owner profusely and then drove over (they were closed, but he waited for me) and picked up the wallet. How senile is that? Well, it's a first, thank goodness, and hopefully a last. And how cool is Bamboo Village, first of all for being honest, second of all for having the presence of mind to call the credit card company and third of all for waiting for me? Pretty damn cool in my book (Chapter 18 - The Bamboo Village is The Damn Coolest). So, my recommendation is that if you must leave your wallet somewhere, do it at the Bamboo Village.
My that was a long and pointless story. Have I mentioned that it reeks of Orange Chicken around these parts? Have I mentioned that this is the last day of February and how quickly February flew by, rather like an Olympic high-speed runner on his way to eat Ethiopian food. Let's all be like Olympic high-speed runners on their way to eat Ethiopian food and see how fast we can click on that Unseemly Button below. On your mark... Get set... Go!
Wow, that was fast, rather like an Ethiopian high-speed runner on his way to Olympic Blvd.
I recently watched a lovely DVD of a lovely "small" film entitled My Bodyguard. It's not a masterpiece or anything, but it's a nice piece of work, well directed by Tony Bill and wonderfully acted by Chris Makepeace, Adam Baldwin, Ruth Gordon and Matt Dillon. It's hard not to love a movie with its heart in the right place, and a movie in which bullies get their comeuppance. There have been many movies in which bullies get their comeuppance and they are usually hits, because it's a very satisfying plot device - you can't help but cheer. Stories about underdogs are usually hits if they are made well. The Karate Kid, Rocky - the list is endless, really. Anyway, the DVD looks spiffy and it was fun to see it after all these years.
I've also been watching The Men Who Killed Kennedy, a fascinating and extremely long multi-part documentary (five hours). I'll have more to say on this when I've finished it.
Yesterday, I visited Dr. Chew and he made my teeth all clean and sparkly. I had no cavities (in fact, I have only had one cavity in the last thirty-two years) and he said my teeth were in excellent shape. Dr. Chew is a wonderful dentist and very good at his job. When our very own Vinnie chipped his tooth, I sent him right over to Dr. Chew who fixed him right up. Dr. Chew gave me a brand spanking new tooth brush, too. And free floss, even though I have many containers of floss - in the house, in the car, one simply can't have enough floss. I will, in fact, floss at the drop of a hat. The only problem is this: Does anyone still wear a hat? I will also floss at the drop of a dead bean. I will floss at the drop of any old thing. Have you ever had a dead bean? In Mexico they are called Frijoles Muerte and are quite popular at certain establishments in out of the way places, such as Avenido de Sammy Pitkin.
We didn't have many desert island movie responses yesterday. Are we tired of the desert island? Okay, for today's topic of discussion let's do one that's been popular on some other websites: If you could go back in time and attend one opening night of a musical, what would it be? For me, I suppose, it would be Gypsy, with Miss Ethel Merman. Post away about that and any other topics you'd care to discuss.

Replies: 16 Unseemly Comments

This one's a no-brainer. It's something I've thought about many times. What it must have been like to be there at the opening of
"South Pacific", in the context of its time, just a few years after the end of World War II. To be bowled over by (for its time)its aggressive stance on racism. To be knocked out by hearing Pinza sing "Some Enchanted Evening", never having heard it before.
As an aside, there is a compilation of Rodgers and Hammerstein songs on a CD which includes a rendition of "Some Enchanted Evening" by Al Jolson, made about a year before his death.
It is, quite simply, the most beautiful, stunning thing I have ever heard.
Posted by mark rothman @ 02/28/2002 09:40 AM PST

I think I'd have to go with Gypsy, too, just because it's probably the most perfect musical every written.
Not to mention that I couldn't made friends with absolutely everybody who I'd grow to love over the next fifty years.
Posted by Lolita @ 02/28/2002 09:54 AM PST

If I had a time machine, here is what I would do
I would set it to go backwards and when I was through
I'd head over to broadway and wait in any long line
I'd be so darn anxious when the tickets were mine
to the theatre I would walk past the man giving a sermon
to see the one and only Gypsy with the beloved Ethel Merman!
Posted by Craig @ 02/28/2002 10:42 AM PST

Oooh, oooh, oooh (that is THREE ooohs) go directly to www.1stbooks.com. I'll mention this in tomorrow's notes, but for you early lookers, go there and right on the splash page you will see my BOOK! How exciting is that. Not only will you see the cover (not quite finished - the title treatment will be a different font) you can read a synopsis, you can read about the author, and you can even read a "preview" of the book - they've printed the entire prologue.
Posted by bk @ 02/28/2002 11:13 AM PST

Oops, oops, oops (that is THREE oops), I guess they are like certain websites that rotate what's on the splash page. So, if it's not there when you click on the link, click on "book search" type in Kimmel for author, Benjamin Kritzer for book - when that page comes up then click immediately on "Benjamin Kritzer: A Novel and you will see all.
Posted by bk @ 02/28/2002 11:17 AM PST

YEA YEA YEA (that's 3 yea's) for Benjamin Kritzer: A Novel! I just read the preview and will say that the very first 3 words grab you. Those very first words pull you right into the story.. Chocolate covered Kudos to you BK on Benjamin Kritzer being that much closer to book... Hmmmm BK, Benjamin Kritzer, Benjamin Kritzer, BK.... most intriguing... I think the bio needs to have www.haineshisway.com though...
Posted by Craig @ 02/28/2002 11:38 AM PST

Hmm... I'd have to list three here:
Opening night of "Show Boat" and hear the gasps at the original lyrics of "Ol' Man River"
Opening night of "Oklahoma," and to think that I'd see Laurie on stage over half a century later.
Opening night of "My Fair Lady."
Posted by Elan @ 02/28/2002 11:57 AM PST

BK - at the end of the first paragraph of today's notes you used a phrase that seems oddly familiar: "Butt cheeks swinging and a song in my heart." Was that, by any chance, also a Hinky Meltz/Ernest Ernest song? Or am I mistaken?
Posted by Laura @ 02/28/2002 02:18 PM PST

Fantastico! Love the prologue for BENJAMIN KRITZER, Bruce...can't wait to read the rest as soon as humanly possible! What is the release date for that, again?
Also, many thanks to one and all (and all and one) for your oh-so-helpful suggestions on where to find the Sondheim sheet music I need. With the help of all you wonderful people every last one of those songs has been found!
Posted by Jed @ 02/28/2002 09:42 PM PST

A lot choices, of course, but I never got to see Fred Astaire in person, so I would choose either the opening night of "The Band Wagon" or the closing night of "The Gay Divorce" (his very last stage appearance).
Posted by Robert Armin @ 03/01/2002 05:44 AM PST

Well, Elan, I don't think it's "Old Man River" that made them gasp but the very first word of the show. You know it wasn't "WE ALL work on the Mississippi" or "CULLUD FOLK work on the Mississippi".
But speaking of gasps, I'd like to see MY FAIR LADY to learn if the audience really did gasp when Eliza first got "The rain in Spain" right. If I weren't limited to musicals, I'd go all the way back to PYGMALION to hear the nervous laughter at "not bloody likely".
But if I wanted to see the show rather than the audience I would have to pick FOLLIES, especially if I knew nothing about it in advance. Talk about Epiphanies.
And as long as we ARE talking about Epiphanies, I've never been to an opening night in reality. But seeing two previews of SWEENEY TODD was a pretty awsome experience in itself.
The next day Lehman Engel came into workshop and described it thus: "I feel like I've just gone by an hors d'oeuvre table on a motorcycle."
Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/01/2002 08:55 AM PST

William -
The truth is the original FOLLIES was even better than you could imagine. I saw it five times in New York, twice in L.A. and in a college production starring Diana Canova that was more faithful to the original than we shall ever see again. If Oklahoma, My Fair Lady and South Pacific had even half the impact of the original Follies, they certainly earned their landmark status. Ironically, more than half of the audience missed it completely -- once Loveland started, they forgot that the first two hours had anything to do with the "pretty" numbers at the end.
Posted by Robert Armin @ 03/01/2002 10:32 AM PST

You wrote a book on my name. Where did you think of the name.Please write or e-mail me at pennstate4299@comcast.net and write to me at 2060 Dawn Lane Newtown,Pa 18940.
Thank you,
Ben
Posted by Ben Kritzer @ 06/27/2002 05:18 PM PST

You wrote a book on my name. Where did you think of the name.Please write or e-mail me at pennstate4299@comcast.net and write to me at 2060 Dawn Lane Newtown,Pa 18940.
Thank you,
Ben
Posted by Ben Kritzer @ 06/27/2002 05:18 PM PST

You wrote a book on my name. Where did you think of the name.Please write or e-mail me at pennstate4299@comcast.net and write to me at 2060 Dawn Lane Newtown,Pa 18940.
Thank you,
Ben
Posted by Ben Kritzer @ 06/27/2002 05:18 PM PST

You wrote a book on my name. Where did you think of the name.Please write or e-mail me at pennstate4299@comcast.net and write to me at 2060 Dawn Lane Newtown,Pa 18940.
Thank you,
Ben
Posted by Ben Kritzer @ 06/27/2002 05:18 PM PST

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