Well, dear readers, it's a beautiful Sunday here in Los Angeles, California. I slept for nine hours and awoke, of course, with dazzlingly white teeth. I did not awake buff and toned with abs and buns of steel, but I'm working on that daily. If only there were a kit for being buff and toned with abs and buns of steel, like the kit for whitening one's teeth. Oh, wouldn't that be loverly? Then one could simply wake up being buff and toned with abs and buns of steel without all that unseemly effort. I feel we should invent such a kit and then we would all be rich and famous and beloved by all. We could call it the Haines Buff and Toned with Abs and Buns of Steel Kit and we would sell millions I'm telling you. All you inventor dear readers get to work on this brilliant idea.

At this juncture, you might be wondering why I have titled today's notes "Omelet". Well, the answer to that is quite simple, really. I have no idea. I was trying to think of a title and "Omelet" just came to me, out of the blue. Not out of the red, mind you, or even out of the yellow, no, "Omelet" came to me out of the blue. Look at that word - "Omelet". My goodness, what a stupid word that is. Frankly, it just lies there like an omelet. How did such a word come into being? Someone invented a particular kind of egg dish, looked at it and said, "Wait, I know, I'll call this particular kind of egg dish an omelet!" It's not only the word, of course, it's the spelling of the word, too. Even if you have to have such a word as "omelet" can't you at least spell it like it sounds? "Ahmlet". Well, that looks Armenian, I suppose, so maybe there was a rhyme to their reason, whatever the hell that means. If there was indeed a rhyme to their reason, was it "season"? Or "treason"? Then there's the word "egg". Let's not even touch that one with a ten-foot pole, or even a ten-foot czech.

We have had only one guess in our handy-dandy Unseemly Trivia Contest. Now, you contest people need to keep those guesses coming. If you don't, you will be forced to write the word "omelet" one hundred times. Now, even though I didn't think it possible, the one guess was not what I was looking for, and yet was correct. I really didn't think there could be two right answers. So, I will give the guesser credit, but I will say now that the singers in question are female and the person they were/are married to is male. It turns out that if you reverse the sexes and have the singers be male and the person they were/are married to female, there is a correct answer. And I will throw down the guantlet (no mean feat) and say that I predict that no one will get the tie breaker or bonus question. Now, if that's not a challenge, I don't know what.

Omelet. There, I feel it's necessary to reference the title of today's notes every now and then and also every then and now. However, let us not tarry, let us click on that cursed Unseemly Button below and get on with things.

Omelet.

Well, I have heard most of the Dreamgirls concert CD. I have read nothing but raves from reviewers and internet pundits, so I must be in the minority and I must simply be missing what they're hearing. I am, of course, loathe to criticize what I know is not an optimal way to record, or the hard work that goes into any recording. First of all, I adore Dreamgirls. I saw it in the first week of its run, here at the Shubert Theater (from the first row). It was a show that grabbed you by the shirt and never let you go. It was powerful, funny, touching, and like a train that wouldn't slow down. It was also perfectly cast and perfectly choreographed and directed. It told a good story and it told it with dynamic music and lyrics that I felt weren't always brilliant but that got the job done. The whole thing was in your face every second. As you know, the cast album is horribly truncated, but it preserves those performances (a couple of people were different in LA, but it was basically the same cast). And the producer of that album, Mr. David Foster, understood the sound of the show he was recording. It wasn't Oklahoma!, it was a pop/rock/Motown musical. That was the sound in the theater and that was the sound he captured. Strong rhythm section, the band right there with the singers - all very exciting and in your face, just like the show.

I knew from the first ten seconds of the concert album that I was in for a disappointment, because the band is simply not present. They're off in the background somewhere, you can barely hear the drums and bass. Well, that may be lovely for some things, but it's not lovely for Dreamgirls. It, in fact, doesn't even sound like the band is miked specifically for the recording, it sounds like they're coming in through the singer microphones. Then there are the levels - by that I mean once you set a comfortable listening level for the music, the dialogue is invariably too low and you must crank it up to hear it properly, then, of course, the music is too loud and you must turn it down. Those are the technical problems for me. You simply have to know the show you're recording - every show requires different thought. So, this recording never, in my opinion, grabs you by the shirt the way it should. It is never powerful enough. Having recorded several live shows, I know that if you mike the band properly it is possible to get a dynamic sound out of them. Believe me, I know it's a pressure-cooker situation, and it's never optimal, which is why I'm loathe to do anything but commend them for actually getting the thing on tape.

The performances never come up to the originals. I know, I know, I know (that is three I knows), it's bad to compare, but it's like Follies - when you've seen the original it is very difficult to get it out of your head. Therefore, the casting becomes even doubly important. It's not that this group of players isn't good - I mean, it's Lilias White, Audra McDonald, etc. It's just that I don't know that any of them would actually be cast in a production of Dreamgirls today (outside of maybe Norm Lewis and a few supporting players). I do know it's an all-star concert, but since I wasn't there all I can do is listen to the CD. I'm thrilled to have a complete recording of the score, but I don't think it holds a candle to the singing on the original album. I suppose I feel the exact same way about Follies - none of the subsequent performers, as good as some of them are, hold a candle to the originals, at least in my opinion. I hate hearing the audience whooping and hollering as if by rote, as if they've been trained to do it, are expected to do it. In the original production, the audience reaction was involuntary - you whooped and hollered because it just came out of you naturally in response to what you were seeing or hearing. Of course, Jennifer Holliday gave one of the best performances I've ever seen, and she owns And I Am Telling You I Am Not Going. I don't know if Lilias, who I love and cherish, was having problems, but that number is a let-down. Audra is just plain wrong for Deena Jones. Billy Porter is struggling to even have sound come out of his voice - I believe he had a cold or something. The lovely Seth Rudetsky does a swell job conducting, but it would be even more swell if the band was more present. For Dreamgirls, the band being present is not only a necessity, there is no show without it. But again, I'm grateful to have it, and if you like the show I'd recommend you get it, as long as you have the original album, too.

I also listened to The Nervous Set reissue on DRG Records. This was originally a Columbia album (I'd put in for this title and many others when we did the Subways are For Sleeping reissue, but apparently DRG acted quickly and snagged this and a few others). I don't know if this will be everyone's cup of tea, but I really like it a lot. Tommy Wolf and Fran Landesman's score is jazzy and tuneful throughout. A lot of it is obviously dated, but some of it is surprisingly still relevant. Let me say that if Mr. Wolf and Miss Landesman had only written Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most, that they would be in my pantheon of greats (one of my happiest recording moments was introducing Emily Skinner to that song). There seems to be some controversy whether that song was actually ever in The Nervous Set, but as far as I know, it wasn't. It was written several years prior and, of course, it's not on this album. I worked with Mr. Wolf briefly, when I guested on the Donny and Marie Show, and I asked him about it and he told me it had never been in the show. What isin the show, is sprightly and tuneful and fun. I especially like What's To Lose and the beautiful The Ballad of the Sad Young Men (not Man as it says on the inlay card).

Well, I hadn't intended to write such long notes today, but you know you get on a roll and you can't stop. Don't forget there will be a brand spanking new radio show up later today, with a special guest. Today's topic of discussion: What is your favorite song from a movie - not a movie musical. For now, I leave you with the following: Omelet.