Well, dear readers, believe it or not, someone was using our handy-dandy Unseemly Search Box and they were searching for Liberace. That just tickled me pink. Not blue, mind you, or even green, no, it tickled me pink. Pink is a perfect color for being tickled, don't you think? In other words, when I think "tickled", I think pink, which is also the opening number in the musical film, Funny Face. I was only sorry that they got no "hits" on Liberace. But from now on, when anyone searches Liberace they will find Liberace. I love Liberace, especially in his very outre movie, Sincerely Yours. I also love Liberace in Mr. Tony Richardson's adaptation of Mr. Evelyn Waugh's The Loved One, in which he plays a casket salesperson. I love that someone came to haineshisway.com and searched for Liberace. I even love that the usual suspects came and searched for the usual thing. I love everything and everyone. Love power, that's the ticket. Get me some love beads, man, and some flowers, man, and let's put those flowers in our collective hair and let's go to San Francisco, where we can shake our tambourines and chant Hare Krishna. I'm afraid I have lost my mind. I'm afraid I have gone off the deep end. I'm afraid I just had a one-way ticket to Palookaville.

I just want everyone to know right here and right now and also right now and right here, that I never had love beads, I never had flowers in my hair and I never shook a tambourine and chanted Hare Krishna. I did, however, have some flour in my hair once, but that's another story. Have I mentioned that I am tickled pink that someone searched for Liberace?

Last night, my friend Grant Geissman called and invited me to go with him to the STAGE benefit party. So, I said yes, and tagged along as his guest. I had quite an unexpectedly good time. Let's all click that Unseemly Button below and find out why.

Well, the first reason I had a good time at the STAGE benefit party was because I saw lots of friends. I saw Miss Tami Tappan, I saw Mr. Jason Graae, I saw Mr. Davis Gaines, I saw Mr. David Galligan, the director. Best of all, I spent most of the evening talking to my beloved Petula Clark, who I adore, and we talked and talked and laughed and laughed, all the live-long night. Also in attendance were the legendary ladies, Miss Kay Starr and Miss Margaret Whiting. It was grand fun.

Earlier Sunday I listened to Mr. Barry Manilow's brand spanking new album. It is an interesting album, a concept album about the Mayflower Hotel and its denizens. I didn't love all of it, but what is good on it is very good indeed and it's extremely well produced. There's even a faux disco track, called They Dance. My favorite song was Some Bar By the Harbor, just classic Barry. I should say now that you will not find this Hainsie/Kimlet bashing Barry. I like Barry. I like his music. I know it is fashionable to not like Barry these days and yet I like Barry so I therefore must not be fashionable. And yet I am fashionable, I am a trend-setter and I hereby decree it is now fashionable to like Barry. That said, I once did a very wicked parody of Barry on a Showtime series called Likely Stories. I wrote it and directed it, and best of all I got to be Barry. I had big hair and big shoes and white tails, and a ruffled shirt. I got to sing four Barry-like songs, including my favorite, At The Ramrod. Here is the lyric:

His name was Marvin,
He was a showgirl
Yes, he wore panties and wore hose
Couldn't get enough of those
And he was cute as hell
And that is why I fell...

At the Ramrod
Down there on Highland
It was an island full of sleaze
Everybody on their knees
At the Ramrod
Down there on Highland
Tight jeans and tight buns
You might find the right buns
At the Ramrod...
You get it all.

In any case, if you like Barry you'll probably like lots of this new album. It's on the Concord label, a new label for Barry, and not a very good match, in my opinion. Barry's voice is a tad ragged these days, but I still like Barry and no one is going to stop me.

There's still time to get your guesses in for our trivia contest. We've only had one guess so far, so hop to it. I guess after making the questions too easy, I'm now making the questions too hard. Also, there's a brand spanking new The Broadway Radio Show up and running, even though Mr. Donald Feltham has not stopped by to tell us what it is about. I do believe that the guest this week is that fine composer/singer, Mr. Wayne Moore. Tonight I will actually be taping an upcoming radio show with special guest, Miss Lisa Richard.

I got quite a few new DVDs on Friday, but I haven't even had time to watch one of them. But I'll have reports on Mr. Fellini's Juliet of the Spirits (which I peeked at and must say it looks absolutely stunning), and Mr. William Castle's Mr. Sardonicus and Straight Jacket with Miss Joan Crawford and her ax. I also picked up last year's Sexy Beast for which Mr. Ben Kingsley is nominated for an Academy Award and I'm looking forward to watching it, too.

By the way, last week we had more visitors than ever. This tickles me pink, red, blue, purple and all the colors of the rainbow. If you missed these here notes over the weekend, please use our handy-dandy Unseemly Archive Button to check them out. There you will find our Unseemly Trivia Contest question, as well as many pithy sentences and my take on the new concert recording of Dreamgirls.

Well, I must prepare for a morning meeting which, by the way, is taking place in the morning. I find the best time for a morning meeting is in the morning, don't you? Then I will be off to Image Entertainment once again, because we've decided to add a poster and stills gallery to the Nudie Musical DVD. I shall return tomorrow with bells on and maybe even a tambourine on. Maybe I'll even put some flour in my hair and chant Hare Krishna whilst playing my Liberace and Barry Manilow records. Today's topic of discussion: I've really been enjoying your responses to "favorite songs", so what is your favorite Rodgers and Hammerstein song, and what is your favorite Rodgers and Hart song? I'll start: My all-time favorite Rodgers and Hammerstein song is the absolutely gorgeous Love, Look Away. My favorite Rodgers and Hart song is a peculiar choice, but it's a song that makes me smile almost more than any other - it's also one of the greatest uptempo pieces of music I've ever heard - On Your Toes.