Well, dear readers, blow me over with a truck, but I totally forgot that today is the Oscar broadcast. Frankly, it just doesn't seem right that it's on a Sunday and that is why I forgot it. Traditionally the Oscars have always been on a Monday, but now they are on a Sunday which simply doesn't seem Oscar-like at all. So, we must suddenly prepare our Oscar bash. That means the buying of the pizzas, dear readers, for I never watch the Oscars without the buying of the pizzas. Of course, we will also have our yummy cheese slices and ham chunks. And plenty of Diet Coke. Oh, what fun we shall have during our annual Oscar bash, because this year there is plenty to bash, let me tell you that. In honor of the Oscars, I watched three films that are up for a few golden statuettes.

I started talking about Bridget Jones's Diary yesterday. It is certainly an amiable film, competently directed and filled with the charm of its excellent cast. I was very impressed with Rene Zellwegger, and I alway enjoy Colin Firth and Hugh Grant. What I do not enjoy, however, and which this film is really guilty of, is the incessant and mind-numbing use of popular songs on the soundtrack. They've gone out of their way to find songs that would comment on the action in oh so cute ways, and it's so annoying that I almost shut the damn thing off. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it stops the film from being the excellent movie it could be. The times when scenes are unscored, or when they have Patrick Doyle's lovely music, the film works like gangbusters. Can you imagine Breakfast at Tiffany's having pop standard every three minutes, rather than just the one original song (Moon River)? Or any of the classic romantic comedies pre-1980 (or even the post-1980 Tootsie)? I've said it before and I'll say it again - I don't need help in being told what emotion the film is trying to impart. The film, script and performances all do that, or at least they should. Films that use songs or underscoring to underline and make things blatant don't give their audiences any credit whatsoever. Of course, maybe it's necessary these days, although I'd like to think not.

Intermission. What type of pizza shall I order? Thin and simple? Thick and gooey? With or without meatstuffs? Onions? Decisions, decisions, decisions (that is three decisions). While I contemplate, let's all click on the Unseemly Button below, because if you thought I was ranting about Bridget Jones's Diary, a film I enjoyed, wait until you read the next bits.

The second feature was a motion picture entitled In the Bedroom, starring Miss Sissy Spacek and Mr. Tom Sizemore. This film has gotten many rave reviews and there was much buzz about it prior to its release. If you loved it or even liked it you might want to skip directly to the next paragraph. Because, I hated every single minute of this unbearably bad film. It is a film that only could have been directed by an actor, Mr. Todd Field. He is so in love with every shot and every performance that he allows this thing to go on for 122 minutes. He even holds on shots of inanimate objects lovingly and endlessly (I remember a shot of a gearshift on the boat, or something like it, and I thought something has to happen with this, but no, it was merely a static shot of the gearshift on the boat). The film is one of those where the subtext looms large. So large in fact that it overwhelms the actual text which is pretty bad in itself. In order for these little slice of life films to work they have to be simple and move along. The whole thing is super-pretentious, has no forward momentum and people seem to be taken in by it, so what do I know? That said, I like Sissy Spacek and I thought Tom Sizemore was very good. I don't think there were any songs, though, so that was a plus.

Intermission. Don't I have to be cubing some ham here? Slicing some cheese? I mean, what am I, Ebert and Roeper? Who do I think I am, Bosley Crowther? Peter Rainer?

The third motion picture I watched is entitled, I Am Sam. This motion picture is about a mentally challeged fellow named Sam, who mysteriously has impregnated some girl (we never learn anything about her - hence she's just some girl) who has a baby with him and promptly runs off, leaving him holding the baby at a bus stop. Sound silly? It is. In any case, Sam raises the child and problems ensue. Now, I will admit, I'm a sucker for this sort of thing. I loved Charly, for example. I love movies with a precocious kid. And I wanted to like this, I really did, and the fact is it's better than In the Bedroom. Sean Penn gives a very good Oscar-showy and ham chunky performance, and the little girl who plays Lucy is wonderful. Michelle Pfeiffer has been handed a horridly written and cliched role and she does the best she can. However, the film's director, Jessie Nelson (who is unknown to me) has made the awful decision to direct this in that herky-jerky whip-pan style of NYPD, which I can't stomach. It just ruins whatever chance the film had. You're so aware of the camera doing fake-out zooms and pans that it's nigh-unto-impossible to get involved. A case where the style does not suit the story, unless that is, you consider that the camera is being operated by Sam. It's also a bit too cloying, and the "villains" are also way too typical and cliched (the lawyers, etc.). I did like the gang who played Sam's friends, though and, as I said, Mr. Penn and the little girl were terrific.

Of course, I won't know who the hell to root for tonight, because I haven't seen many of the front-runners, like The Lord of the Rings or A Beautiful Mind (some might say that since I saw the trailers for both films, in essence I have seen them). My favorite film of last year, as most of you know, isn't up for very much. A.I. Artificial Intelligence was roundly hated by most (although, amusingly, now that the DVD has come out, the turnaround has already begun, with many of the naysayers doing a complete or partial turnaround) and didn't receive nominations it should have. I can't remember who's hosting the Oscars this year, but I do hope they are funny, because the last few Oscar broadcasts haven't been as kookie as they used to be, and since the show has basically become "just another awards show" the unpredictable kookieness is all we can hope for.

Well, I must prepare for my annual Oscar bash now. There is so much to do. For example, I have to figure out which station it's on. Then I have to figure out what my attire should be. And when I figure out what my attire should be, then I have to figure out what my ahubcap should be. Don't forget, today is your last chance to hear the Lisa Richard radio show, for tonight we begin rerunning the Susan Egan broadcast, which is swell, by the way. We've actually received quite a few trivia guesses, several of which are fine but incorrect guesses. Really read the question carefully. When I say run-in with the law, I'm not talking about a traffic offense. Also, there is a clue buried in yesterday's notes. Find it, and solving the question will be easier.

Let's take a one day hiatus from our favorite song discussion and make today's topic of discussion, what else - the Oscars. What and who would you like to see win? I'm hoping that Mr. John Williams will win the Best Score award for his brilliant A.I. music.