Well, dear readers, I have now rewritten the beginning of today's notes four times. Perhaps I have nothing to say on this fine Tuesday. But that can't be, because I always have something to say, whether it's this fine Tuesday or not. For example, I'm saying something now, but what is it? You see, this is the problem. What I am saying now is not interesting. I'm just typing to type and no subjects are presenting themselves to me. Yesterday I had a subject. Most days I have a subject. Today I have no subject. Perhaps the subject should be roses. Perhaps I don't need to subject myself to a subject. Maybe this whole thing should be about the word "subject", which is certainly one of the stupidest looking words ever perpetrated on the word-going public. Just look at it. "Subject". "Sub" as we all know, means "below". But what is a "ject" and why do we need to be below it? I always like to be above a "ject", frankly. The first problem is that my nose is stuffed up. That is why I woke up way too early, at five forty-five am. Apparently it's allergy season and mine has kicked into high gear. Perhaps that's the subject, my stuffed-up nose. Heaven knows, my nose could be the subject, but I feel an extended discussion of my stuffed-up nose would be unseemly, so let's drop my stuffed-up nose right here and now and also right now and here.

Ah, a new paragraph is always like a breath of fresh air. Perhaps a subject will finally make itself known to me. Perhaps not. In the meantime, we had a lovely rehearsal last night with Mitzi McCall and Charlie Brill, who will be hosting the Tourette's Syndrome benefit. They're going to be wonderful, and are the perfect hosts for the event. Oh, great. Now I'm sneezing. One sneeze after another. Oh, great. Now my eyes are watering and itchy. Let me go take an Actifed.

There. Has anyone noticed that today's notes lack a subject? Has anyone noticed that today's notes are all over the map? Thus far, these here notes have been in Los Angeles, then suddenly they were in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, took a detour to Lebanon, Ohio and are now residing in Rye, New York. Talk about all over the map, you can't get more geographically diverse than that. What the hell am I talking about? There is no question that I am below the "ject" today. Sneeze. Oh, well, maybe if we all click on that sneeze Unseemly Button sneeze below we will finally find our subject.

Finally. I thought I'd never get out of that first section. If I were coming to this here site for the first time and read that I would run for the hills. Have you ever run for the hills? And if so, can you tell me what the hills ever did for you that you felt the need to run for them. Who the hell are the hills to ask me or anyone else to run for them. They can just run for themselves as far as I'm concerned, sneeze.

I've been catching up on my DVD watching. So far I've watched the first two episodes on the All In The Family: The Entire First Season DVD. Putting aside how daring and controversial the show was when it hit the airwaves, the thing that's really interesting is how funny it still is, how beautifully drawn the characters are. I don't know that television comedy has progressed a lot since then. The first two episodes are interesting in that you can see them trying to find their tone and their way. Archie is constantly calling Edith "a pip" and a "dingbat" - pip would soon disappear and dingbat would become one of his catchphrases, along with meathead. Carroll O'Connor is brilliant, and so is Jean Stapleton. Sally Struthers and Rob Reiner are also pitch-perfect. I'm looking forward to the rest of the episodes.

I also watched a movie called 3:10 to Yuma, a very interesting western, directed by the underrated Delmer Daves, and taken from an early story by Elmore Leonard. It's very lean and taut, a bit too talky, but I really have always liked this film a lot. It's got a great George Duning score and terrific performances by Glenn Ford (as the bad guy) and Van Heflin (as the good guy). And the transfer (gorgeous black and white) is spectacular. So, if you like westerns, you might want to give this one a try.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? I still have to watch the rest of Joe versus the Volcano, but the first fifteen minutes were so annoying I haven't had the energy to put it back on. It must have been made around the time of Brazil (the movie, not the country), because it is really trying hard to live in Terry Gilliamland. Maybe it gets better. I do know that there are those who really like it.

Well, dear readers, I must say our trivia contest got a lot of players this week. We had many incorrect guesses, which then turned into correct guesses. The question was:

Book. Play. Movie. Musical. Musical movie. Television series. Name the property I'm talking about and name the Tony award-winning star who appeared in the television series.

I then had to amend it to read "the Tony nominated star", because apparently this legendary star has never actually won the damn thing, which is rather mind-boggling. All of the incorrect guesses were Anna and the King/The King and I. However, even though I was informed by one dear reader, that in Miss Leonowens' various books there is mention of a play of Anna and the King, I have found no copy of said play, and certainly said play never played any major engagements that I could find. So, for all intents and purposes there really was no known play of Anna and the King. Paper Moon was also guessed, but the same thing applies. I think there was even one other. But the answer is My Sister Eileen, which started life as stories in the New Yorker, became a book, a play, a film, a musical (Wonderful Town), a whole seperate movie musical (My Sister Eileen) and a television series which starred Elaine Stritch. The following people all guessed correctly and are therefore High Winners: Arnold M. Brockman, Lolita, Michael Shayne, Robert Armin, William F. Orr, William E. Lurie, Susan Gordon, Freedunit, and Steve Gurey. That is the most High Winners we have ever had. Of course we put all those names into our handy-dandy electronic hat, which chose at random our Highest Winner: Freedunit. So, if Freedunit will send us his handy-dandy address, he will receive a sparkling prize.

Sneeze. I think I woke up in a blue funk, that's what I think. I think that is why I've been below the ject today. I've got to snap out of it, I've got to perk up, I've got to laugh and be happy, I've got to have the world on a string, I've got to tap my troubles away. By the way, sneeze, congratulations are in order to our very own Klea Blackhurst, who won Best Vocalist at the Mac Awards yesterday. She also won the Time Out New York award. We love Klea and she is well-deserving of all the accolades.

Well, dear readers, hopefully tomorrow I will be on top of the ject. In the meantime, today's topic of discussion is: What is your favorite eleven o'clock number? I'll start: Of course we're all going to list the greatest eleven o'clock number ever, Rose's Turn. But I also love I'm Going Back from Bells Are Ringing, What Kind of Fool Am I? from Stop the World, The Music that Makes Me Dance from Funny Girl, If He Walked Into My Life? from Mame, I'm Way Ahead from Seesaw, and the amazing series of eleven o'clock numbers from Follies - The Story of Lucy and Jessie, Losing My Mind, The God-Why-Don't-You-Love-Me Blues and Live, Laugh, Love. Your turn.