haines his way

04/16/2002:
"THE SPURIOUS FOODGROUP"

Well, dear readers, I am on a crash diet because in less than two weeks time I will be putting on my fancy shmancy suit and my fancy shmancy suit is feeling a bit tight right now. I hate when that happens. I mean, why should my fancy shmancy suit feel a bit tight right now? What have I done that it should feel tight, other than eat eggs benedict, chocolate blackout cake with whipped cream, prime rib, potatos, fried chicken - hmmmm, perhaps the answer lies in that spurious foodgroup. Well, I am laying off that kind of food, I am going nowhere near that kind of food, at least for the next twelve days. I will be eating only low-fat food from non-spurious foodgroups, because otherwise I simply shall not fit into my fancy shmancy suit and one simply looks unseemly in an ill-fitting fancy shmancy suit, especially when the fancy shmancy suit is too darn tight. Don't you just hate ill-fitting suits of any kind? I know I do.
Why is it that I only like foods which are contained in that spurious foodgroup? It is a conundrum, to be sure. A spurious conundrum. Speaking of spurious, something in my waiting-to-be-taken-out handy-dandy trash bag has something that smells very spurious indeed. What could it be? Some remnant of the spurious foodgroup? Or maybe some envelope that contained something that smelled to high heaven, or even low hell. Well, come hell or high heaven low water, I will take that handy-dandy trash bag out and deposit it into the handy-dandy trashcan and once again my kitchen will smell sweet and clean and non-spurious. What the hell am I talking about?
Last night I watched a brand spanking new DVD entitled The Man Who Wasn't There, a film by the brothers Coen. Before I tell you what I thought, may I just say that I am hog-tired of these idiots who write the copy on the back of the DVD? Have these people actually seen the film they're writing about? Now wait just a minute here. "Hog-tired"? That can't be right. I think it's "hog-tied". I think I inserted an unseemly "r" into an expression and made it a whole new expression. That may seem spurious to you, but I find it rather exciting. After all, hogs do get tired as well as tied. In fact they get tired of being tied, so it makes perfect sense. Where was I? Oh, yes, the idiots who write the copy on the back of the DVD packages. This copy promises a film full of "stunning revelations" and "delicious surprises" and wonderful twists. Why is it that every thriller or mystery now has to trumpet stunning revelations and delicious surprises. First of all, this particular film doesn't really have either, unless you've never seen a film noir before. Anyway, I find that whole copy thing spurious, frankly. Here's something else I find spurious: The fact that we now all have to click on that Unseemly Button below to continue.

Make no mistake about it, I have liked several of the brothers Coen's films. When they get it right, they are deliriously strange and wacky and the films are uniquely theirs (Raising Arizona, Fargo, O, Brother, Where Art Thou?). But I also find many of their films misfires, where all their cutely artsy effects are too obvious, where their show-off movie savviness becomes the be-all and end-all of the film. I'm afraid I have to put The Man Who Wasn't There into the latter category. I was simply as bored as the leading character seemed to be. One can't fault the actors, who are all very good, even though I'm not a Billy Bob Thornton fan. And the film looks great in noirish black and white, courtesy of Roger Deakins. But they just don't tell their story that well and it's trussed up with unnecessary show-off camera moves which don't really serve anything other than to call attention to themselves (and I am sick of these kinds of movies resorting to CGI effects - just shoot the damn film and tell me the damn story). Given yesterday's topic of discussion, you all know that I'm a huge fan of films noir (so huge that I can't comfortably fit into my fancy shmancy suit), so I really wanted to like this. But it just reeked of that smart-ass cleverness I don't really like - as soon as a character named Dietrichson showed up I rolled my eyes heavenward and knew all was lost. The film was too long for its own good at 116 minutes. Most great films noir clock in at nice crisp running times. Anyway, I always give the Coens a shot because they're always interesting in some way or another. The transfer looks swell, and the sound is fine, too.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Well, dear readers, this week's Unseemly Trivia Contest had more players than ever before. We love that. The question was:
In the Tony Award-winning musical Nine, there were many wildly talented ladies in the Broadway company. But only one of them had a charted rock-and-roll single. She recorded it with a friend of hers under the names Lyme and Cybelle, and it reached #65. By the time of Nine, this performer was not only not called Cybelle, but she'd even change her real name. Name the performer as she was credited in Nine. Extra points to those who can name her partner, Lyme (he went on to have a successful rock career of his own). Extra extra points for those who can come up with her real name.
Every single person who played the contest got at least part of the question right - and yet, no one got all of the question right. However, since there were so many players who did good research, I am going to award a sparkling prize just for all the effort. Here are the answers to the question:
The charted rock-and-roll single was Follow Me, recorded by Lyme and Cybelle. Lyme was Warren Zevon. Cybelle was Violet Santangelo. Violet Santangelo moved to New York and began her theater career under a whole brand new name: Laura Kenyon, who is a wonderful performer, and who was most recently featured in the tour of Titanic. There seemed to be some confusion over yet another name - Tule Livingston, which she must have used at the time. However, her real name is most definitely Violet Santangelo. I know this, because I was friends with her way back in the mid-sixties when her record came out. I'd done shows with her sister, Melody Santangelo (featured in the film Newsies in a small role), and Vi actually appeared in a revue I concocted back then. She was known as Little Vi, because her mother was also named Violet (mum was Big Vi). In fact, the day that Follow Me had its first appearance on radio, we were all at their house and we all cheered as we heard it played for the first time. I've seen Vi, or Laura, several times in the last few years, and she's a delight. She's been working on a one-woman show for quite some time.
So, even though there was no Highest or even High Winners, I put into an electronic hat all of the players of the contest this week - and the winner of the sparkling prize is Mr. Thomas J. Guest from far-off Australia. So, if Mr. Guest will send us his handy-dandy address in Oz we will send him his sparkling prize.
Whatever is in that bag of trash is really smelling worse. Perhaps a racoon wandered into my home, had a heart attack and died whilst in that bag, because that is what it smells like.
Later today, I will be supping on foods from non-spurious foodgroups, such as salad and low-fat rice pudding. And after eating said pudding, I will be doing the Rice Pudding dance to work off whatever calories there were in my foods. The Rice Pudding dance is fun to do because of the raisin factor. The raisin factor - that sounds like a Robert Ludlam novel, doesn't it? In any case, because of the raisin factor, the Rice Pudding dance is a load of fun, especially if you put a little whipped cream on your dancing person. Oh, what fun I shall have doing the Rice Pudding dance, and I recommend that each and every one of you join in. Then we can be known as The Rice Pudding Dancers - sort of like The June Taylor Dancers but with Rice Pudding instead of June Taylor.
My goodness, there is a spurious smell coming from that trash bag. I really must take it out right now and when I do I shall be The Man Who Wasn't There. Today's topic of discussion: Yesterday, we all chose our favorite films noir - today, let's all choose our favoriter films comedy. I'll start: Sullivan's Travels, The Lady Eve, The Girl Can't Help It, Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter, Duck Soup, Horse Feathers, Some Like It Hot, The Major and The Minor, One, Two, Three, Tootsie, The Producers, Young Frankenstein, The Court Jester, Way Out West, Seven Chances, City Lights, Take The Money and Run, and I could go on for days, but for now: Your turn.

Replies: 29 Unseemly Comments

My feeling is, one Mr. Thomas J. Guest had better be wary of one sparkling prize package from the U.S. of A. Hopefully, it won't have a spurious smell. Then it should be okay.
Ditto on the comedies.
Plus "The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming"; "Dr. Strangelove" (noir comedy, at that!); "Porky's" (just cracks me up); "Top Hat" (awright, it's a "musical" comedy, but every supporting player in that film cracks me up, especially the swell Eric Blore); "Big," "The Solid Gold Cadillac," "It Should Happen to You," "Born Yesterday" (awright, I'm a Judy Holliday freak!); "Sleepers", "Love and Death", "Play it Again, Sam," "What's Up, Tiger Lily" (and I'm a Woody Allen nut, too...and I can't resist anything that has a super-secret, worth-dying-for tuna salad recipe).
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/16/2002 10:26 AM PST

Broadway Danny Rose.
So good on so many levels.
Posted by Mark Rothman @ 04/16/2002 10:45 AM PST

Favorite comedies:
Shakes the Clown; The Producers; Blazing Saddles; Animal Crackers; Putney Swope; The Bank Dick
I love anything with WC Fields. He had the best pen-names. "The Bank Dick" was written under the name Mahatma Kane Jeeves. Gotta love that.
Posted by Mattso @ 04/16/2002 11:06 AM PST

Modern Times (1936)
Bringing Up Baby (1938)
The Great Dictator (1940)
Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
Auntie Mame (1958)
Harold and Maude (1971)
The Hospital (1971)
What's Up, Doc? (1972)
Paper Moon (1973)
Network (1976)
Annie Hall (1977)
Risky Business (1983)
The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
Down and Out in Beverly Hills (1986)
Bullets Over Broadway (1994)
Posted by freedunit @ 04/16/2002 11:58 AM PST

Addendum:
Prizzi's Honor (1985)
Posted by freedunit @ 04/16/2002 12:02 PM PST

Lotsa dittos here:
"Tootsie"; "Young Frankenstein"; "The Producers"; "Some Like It Hot"; "Dr. Strangelove"
But what about:
"My Little Chickadee"
"Overboard"--Goldie and Roddy are so droll, as we say--and it's fun in retrospect know that she and Kurt were really falling in love.
"Airplane"--I'm partial to those Kentucky Fried Guys, even if all their movies are about movies--and I love that they always put their Mom in their films.
"Bringing Up Baby" I don't know, I suddenly went all gay.
"Tom Jones" It came out right after we read the book in college and managed to distill all the laughs of that huge tome into a couple of hours.
"The Great Race" Ah, the pie scene.
"Victor/Victoria"
"10"
"The Pink Panther"
"Kind Hearts and Coronets"
"The Loved One"
The trouble I find with most recent movies called "comedies" is that they are straining every minute to be funny, and it shows. I much prefer comedy that grows naturally out of characters and situation.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 04/16/2002 12:02 PM PST

Unseemly Trivia Contest Inquest
For what reason(s) did Violet Santangelo change her name to Tule Livingston to "Cybelle" to Laura Kenyon?
Might she be the subject of a future radio show, or probing biography, or online chat?
Is she still a friend of Warren Zevon?
Posted by freedunit @ 04/16/2002 12:12 PM PST

My favorite film comedies:
Born Yesterday
You Can't Take It with You
Annie Hall
Hannah and Her Sisters (is it a comedy? is it a drama?)
Some Like it Hot
The Philadelphia Story
Tootsie
Young Frankenstein
Paper Moon
Harold and Maude
Victor/Victoria
Posted by Lolita @ 04/16/2002 12:22 PM PST

"Ruthless People" -- especially the scene between Bette Midler and Helen Slater -- "I've been kidnapped by K-Mart!"
Lots of great lines in that film.
"Down and Out in Beverly Hills" is truly droll..and Little Richard is a riot! Mike the dog was terrific (may he rest in peace if he's no longer with us).
"Outrageous Fortune" -- "Twelve years of ballet, asshole!"
Oh, my! I seem to have gotten into citing some of my favorite lines from my favorite comedies.
"Singin in the Rain" -- "I make more money than Calvin Coolidge -- put togither!"
R
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/16/2002 12:46 PM PST

Will you be raisin the roof with the Rice Pudding dance?
What is its raisin d'etre?
Posted by Pudding on the Ritz @ 04/16/2002 01:08 PM PST

Mr Pudding,
Those raisin jokes were quite dry if I'm not grapely mistaken.
Posted by Mattso @ 04/16/2002 01:15 PM PST

They are in alaphabetical order. A Good comedy film makes you laugh the second time you see it. Or third. or fourth. or fifth....
Here are some of mine in alphabetical order. I am sure I have left some out.
7 Faces of Dr. Lao
8 1/2
10
Annie Hall
Are You Being Served...Abroad
Arsenic and Old Lace
Auntie Mame
Blazing Saddles
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Bringing Up Baby
Carry On...(Seen most of the series)
City Lights
Court Jester
Dinner at Eight
Dr. Strangelove
Duck Soup
Fish Called Wanda, A
General, The
Gold Rush, The
Great Dictator
Groundhog Day
His Girl Friday
Harvey
Horse Feathers
Inside Out (Short film)
It's A Mad Mad Mad World
Jeffrey
Johnny Stecchino
Kiss Me Guido
La Cage Aux Folles
Sceicco bianco, Lo (White Shiek)
Les Adventures de Rabbi Jacob
M*A*S*H
Manhattan
Modern Times
Monkey Business
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Night at the Opera, A
On the Buses
Party, The
Philadelphia Story, The
Pink Panther Strikes Agan
Producers, The
Shot in the Dark
Singin' in the Rain
Sleeper
S.O.B.
Some Like It Hot
Sons of the Desert
To Be or Not to Be (1942)
Trick
Victor/Victoria
What's Up Doc
Young Frankenstein
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 04/16/2002 01:32 PM PST

Just read that actor Robert Urich died today at the age of 55. I saw him in the tour of Chicago. He was very good and surprised how adept he was at singing and dancing. I am sure he could have gone on with a good career as a song and dance man if he did not get sick again.
I had the opportunity to meet and work with him on a tv film called April Morning. He was truly one of the nicest and kindest men in the biz.
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 04/16/2002 01:57 PM PST

to the list of great movie comedies I would add MIDNIGHT starring Claudette Colbert, Don Ameche, John Barrymore and Mary Astor with wonderful direction by Mitchell Leisen and a script by Billy Wilder and Charles Brackett
Posted by Donald @ 04/16/2002 02:12 PM PST

When I was a kid I loved all the Dean Martin/Jerry Lewis movies (Three Ring Circus/Artists and Models etc). Must also confess that the "English "Carry On" series were favourites when I was a pre-teen. The Court Jester was an all time high in comedy.
The "Lavender Hill Mob" "The Lady Killers"'"Young Frankenstein",and "The Producers" are also classics.
Of recent vintage, "The Princess Bride" made me laugh a lot. There were also some very funny scenes in "The Full Monty".
Posted by Tom from OZ @ 04/16/2002 02:58 PM PST

Slightly OT (well, OK, completely OT): I recommend the new OCR of "Last 5 Years". Some really nice stuff and Jason's string writing is really exceptional.
Posted by JMK @ 04/16/2002 03:27 PM PST

If my questions are too dry, they may be rehydrated with water or by fine, extra-virgin Olive Oyl. Only my most intimate intimates call me Pudding. Others call me Mr. Ritz. Is there a raisin you called me Pudding, Avocado. Have we been intimate? Please do not be hurt I do not recall--so much produce, so little time. ;-)
Was Michael Shayne listing only his favorites or every comedy ever made? To conserve space he could have summed up the first 3 titles: The 25½ Faces of Dr. Lao ;-)
Posted by Pudding on the Ritz @ 04/16/2002 03:33 PM PST

Mr. Ritz, please accept my humble apologies for my grape error in pudding the first name last. In my lasting opinion, the first name never laughs last and if it does, that is truly a first.
Oil now be pudding my opinions to rest as they are very sleepy. Isn't that the pits?
Posted by Mattso @ 04/16/2002 03:50 PM PST

I hope that is not the Zasu, for I prefer the Brad. Of course, Mark spits out all pits.
Mr. Ritz, I dare say you have gone crackers.
Posted by Pudding on the Ritz @ 04/16/2002 04:00 PM PST

Pudding on the Ritz Wrote:
"If my questions are too dry, they may be rehydrated with water or by fine, extra-virgin Olive Oyl."
--Only Popeye knows for sure.
And I would like to say a few words for Oscar, a sadly neglected comedy which was a victim of bad marketing.
If you remember the ads, they had Sylvester Stallone hanging from a giant clock á la Harold Lloyd, leading one to expect outrageous physical comedy.
What it actually was, was an update of Molière's le Bourgeois gentilhomme (The Gentleman Burger(?)) A very good adaptation I thought, with great French farce subplots--and Stallone managed to let everyone else get the good lines rather than playing S*T*A*R*.
Even Tim Currie was funny, rather than the Tim-Currie parody he has been doing for the last few years.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 04/16/2002 05:54 PM PST

I will NOT repeat any of those listed, although many fall into my favorites list. I will add Billy Wilder's "Ball of Fire," "Sabrina," "THe Pleasure of His Company," W.C. Fields' "It's A Gift," (the Mr. Muckel scene alone is priceless), much of Messrs. Laurel and Hardy (their dance to "Keep on-a Dancing" is a gem), "What's Up, Doc" (Madeline Kahn's Enuice is etched in one's mind). I'm going to be coming up with these for days; so beware.
Posted by Kerry @ 04/16/2002 06:51 PM PST

Although he may answer to "Madame," the actor is Tim Curry.
Posted by Pudding on the Ritz @ 04/16/2002 07:03 PM PST

To Mr. Puddin on the Ritz
This is from over 25 years of moving watching. So there are a lot of memorabel comedies. The ones I listed still make me laugh.
And your name made me think of another one.
The Ritz with Rita Moreno as Googie Gomez. As with The Boys in the Band the film is its own time capsule of a bygone era. But it was a funny film. really a french farce with much door slamming, mistaken identities.
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 04/16/2002 07:05 PM PST

At this time of night I mispell words and leave others out.
I should have written: My list of films comes from over 25 years of moving going. Most of them seen in the cinema first. As you can see from my list there French, Italian, British as well as American. I think my comedy tastes are well rounded.
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 04/16/2002 07:09 PM PST

"The Importance of Being Earnest." Dame Edith Evans' Lady Bracknell and Joan Greenwood's reading of the line, "You've have given me cake." catalpult this film to the favorite's category. I also like "The Notorious Landlady" with Kim Novak and Mr. Astaire. And "Good Neighbor Sam" with JAck Lemmon.
Posted by Kerry @ 04/16/2002 07:18 PM PST

How could we have forgotten (or neglected) the excellent "Clerks"? It is Kevin Smith's funniest film. (Although I also love "Dogma" and "Chasing Amy.") I think it is one of the few funny comedies of the past few years.
Posted by Hapgood @ 04/16/2002 07:22 PM PST

Has anyone mentioned "The Women"?
Posted by Kerry @ 04/16/2002 08:21 PM PST

Kerry, you just brought back a very fond memory re: "Good Neighbor Sam." I was a mere tyke when my sisters hauled me off to see that movie. I still remember the final gag when the Hertz commercial guy FINALLY gets in the car, smiles, turns to the camera and says, "Mmmm, that was a good cup of coffee." I think it was my first genuine belly laugh as a kid in a movie theater.
Posted by JMK @ 04/16/2002 08:32 PM PST

Ach du lieber schnizel, how could I have forgotten one of my favorite comedies of all time????
Mr. Fellini's hilarious and very wise The White Sheik. If you've never seen it run out and rent a copy right now.
Posted by bk @ 04/16/2002 11:19 PM PST

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