haines his way

04/19/2002:
"THE POUNDS THAT WOULDN'T GO AWAY"

Well, dear readers, we are kicking into high gear for the Tourette's Syndrom benefit. Many rehearsals from here on in, with both the house band, the Baja Marimba Band, our hosts, our singers, all very exciting and nerve-wracking. It's astonishing to think how long it takes to put something like this together. I was first asked to be involved almost a year ago. Cissy Wechter has done an amazing job, as have her sons David and Jerry. It's also astonishing to think that all this work is for one night. But we're all having a grand time and the tickets are selling extremely well, and as of two weeks ago we also had the comfort zone of knowing that we'd already covered all the costs of putting the benefit together and were well into the black and making some nice bucks for Tourette's.
Last night I went to the Colony Theater to see the musical entitled Side Show. This production has become something of a sensation here in Los Angeles (well, Burbank) and has been a constant sellout and was, in fact, extended for a few weeks. But before I talk about Side Show I would like to talk about how difficult it is to lose weight once you reach a certain age. Apparently, I have reached a certain age, because it's like pulling teeth to lose a few pounds. No matter how lightly I eat, no matter how far I jog, these pounds do not want to be lost. I have yelled at these pounds - I have berated these pound, I have said to these pounds, "Get lost, get outta here, take a hike, amscray, take a one way ticket to Palookaville, hit the road, get your kicks on Route 66," and yet these pounds will not get lost, they stick around like so much fish, annoying me no end. It's not that I'm fat or anything like that, it's not that I'm not in shape or anything like that - after all, I am close to being buff and toned with abs and buns of steel; I just have these pounds I don't want and they will not go away. Oh, well, I shall keep trying, I will not give up until these damned pounds have gone the way of all flesh, whatever the hell that means. What does that mean? "The way of all flesh". Shouldn't it be the "weigh of all flesh"? Isn't that what we're talking about here? Or perhaps, "the whey of all flesh" although the curds might feel left out. What the hell am I talking about? Oh, yes, the pounds that wouldn't go away. Well, this whole pounds thing is making me very agitated or, in musical terms, agitato. Perhaps I should eat a tomahto whilst being agitato, but not a potahto because that would only add to the pounds and make me more agitato.
Have I mentioned that certain pounds of mine will not go away? They won't, damn their eyes. In any case, I saw the musical entitled Side Show last night and as soon as we all click on that Unseemly Button below, we can see my thoughts on said Side Show.
I first saw Side Show in its brief run on Broadway, where it starred Alice Ripley and Emily Skinner. Emily was out the night I saw it, and was replaced by Lauren Kennedy. It also featured Jeff McCarthy and Norm Lewis, and was directed by Robert Longbottom. This show had some pretty fervent fans, and an equal number of people who detested it. It's fans, in fact, were all over the internet, posting everywhere, trying to save a show that had become "their" show. They were at TKTS every day and every night, trying to drum up business. I enjoyed parts of that production, but thought it didn't really come off. I thought all the pastiche numbers worked very well, but that the power ballads were too similar and that the recitative (it's basically all sung) got to be very annoying after awhile. The cast was pretty terrific, though, and the girls were amazing, giving their all. I just felt that we never really learned anything of depth about the Hilton Sisters, and the love triangle got wearisome.
So, I was not especially looking forward to this new production. However, I must say I enjoyed it a bit more out here. The production is well-directed, and because it's a little more intimate in feel, one gets into the characters more. For a small theater production it's got great production values - and the seven piece band manages to sound much bigger than you'd ever imagine possible. The show's problems are still there, though, but that seemed to matter not one whit to the screaming crowd last night. The reasons for the screams are carefully built into the show - it's designed to get that kind of reaction, sometimes shamelessly so. The cast here is mostly very good, with terrific work by Julie Dixon Jackson and Misty Cotton as Daisy and Violet. They are both powerhouse belters and they tear into the songs with much fervor and emotion. The whole affair didn't quite have the polish or sheen of the Broadway production and that probably worked in its favor. Anyway, it pretty much held my attention throughout. The pastiche music (the score is by Henry Krieger) is surprisingly strong and some of the lyrics (by Bill Russell) are fine. Mr. Henry Krieger of course wrote Dreamgirls, and much of the recitative in this show sounds identical to the recitative in that show. Mr. Krieger seems to know how to write one power ballad and he writes it over and over again - that said, it's a good power ballad and it does get the people to screaming. That is because Mr. Krieger is adept at knowing where to put modulations and/or huge drum fills. Works every time. In any case, if you're around these parts you should try to get over there this weekend to see it, although it's fairly well sold out.
What am I, Ken Mandelbaum all of a sudden? The best thing about Side Show, by the way, is that it brought to me Emily and Alice, with whom I did two of the best albums I've ever been involved with, as well as Emily's solo effort, which isn't exactly chopped liver. I adore them both and wouldn't have traded that collaboration for anything.
Don't forget, tomorrow is our Unseemly Trivia Contest day, and Sunday is our free-for-all post day, so do not be an errant and truant weekend dear reader - come and join our merry weekend crew and we will have mirth and gaiety, not necessarily in that order.
THE MELTZ AND ERNEST STORY: THE UNVARNISHED TRUTH
The 1950s were a giddy time for Broadway musicals. Every season there were at least ten new musical shows, some of which were hits, some of which were misses. Hinky Meltz's dream was to have a musical on Broadway or, at the very least, in Teaneck, New Jersey. Ernest Ernest shared that dream - after all they'd had songs recorded by the likes of Patsy Lombardo and His Octet, Barbara Clooney, Russell Knees, the great Herbie Erbie and his Society Twelve, and Tommy Vale (doing the magnificent Meltz and Ernest song, I Left my Heart in Central Station Along with my Tuna Sandwich). Wasn't a musical the next step in their evolution? The answer, of course, was yes. And so they began work on an original musical entitled Leave Her To Frank, the story of an amnesiac lost in the jungles of New York, searching for her identity amidst the hoity-toity high society of Park Avenue. It was a bold concept, and Meltz and Ernest, in conjunction with their book writer, Irving Yelman labored over it laboriously. They turned out song after song, some of which were as good as anything they'd written. The score started to take shape with such numbers as "Can You Tell Me Who I Am Because I Forgot", "The Hoity-Toity High Society of Park Avenue", and the title song, "Leave Her To Frank".
Leave her to Frank,
Her mind is a blank
Who wants a girl who can't remember
Whether it's September
Or December
They worked for a solid month on this show. And when they were done they had their musical. They immediately took it to the producer David Merrick. In a week's time, Mr. Merrick returned their manuscript and demo recording with a kind note which said, "If I ever see the names Meltz and Ernest and Yelman on a project again I will vomit. Like your heroine, by the time I finished listening to it and reading it, I couldn't remember anything. Please do not bother me again". The demo record was broken in half and the manuscript looked like it had been but into a mixmaster. But that did not deter the team. They spent the next year trying to interest producers in their show. Sadly, there were no takers. They did do one backers audition and those that came were very impressed with what they heard. Unfortunately, none of them were producers, they were simple tradespeople who related to the musical tale of an amnesiac lost in the jungles of the New York hoity-toity high society of Park Avenue.
We'll continue their tale next Friday. But now I must be off, I am late, I must do the things I do. Today's topic of discussion: What movies make you cry - unashamedly and unabashedly cry? I'll start: It's A Wonderful Life (gets me every time), The Miracle Worker (the ending puts me away), E.T. (sorry, but there you are), West Side Story, the ending of City Lights (one of the most beautiful in all of film), and many others. But, for now, your turn.

Replies: 27 Unseemly Comments

Being the weeper I am, I won't repeat the ones you mentioned but will only say in addition:
Beaches
Mary Poppins
A Star is Born (Garland version)
Posted by Phil Crosby @ 04/19/2002 10:31 AM PST

"An Affair to Remember"
Posted by steveg @ 04/19/2002 10:53 AM PST

Nothing gets me like "Splendor in the Grass". It not only makes me cry, but it then depresses me for several hours after. If only it wasn't such a great movie....
"Moulin Rouge" gets me going as well, as does "Gladiator", but that was only because I hate Russell Crowes' acting so much it makes my eyes tear.
Posted by Mattso @ 04/19/2002 11:22 AM PST

"Annie"
"A Chorus Line"
The waste of talent and resources brings me to tears. As for movies that are SUPPOSED to make me cry, I'm a sucker for "The Champ" (Ricky Schroeder, not Jackie Coogan, version). The animated "Beauty and the Beast" does it to me too.
BTW, in the homepage box, I've entered a link to the diet section of "How Stuff Works." I think the site is a terrific resource. So click on my name and find out how diets work.
Posted by Vincent Jan @ 04/19/2002 11:23 AM PST

Movies that make me cry:
Field of Dreams
While You Were Sleeping
Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1969 musical)
To Kill A Mockingbird
Spartacus
Imitation of Life (1959)
Funny Girl
The Way We Were
With A Song in My Heart
Raintree County
A Star is Born (all of 'em)
Show Boat (1951)
Red Sky At Morning
A Separate Peace
Lady Sings the Blues
Scrooged
Starman
Now Voyager
Dark Victory
All That Heaven Allows
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/19/2002 11:24 AM PST

I haven't seen it for a long time, but when a girlfriend and I first saw "Love is a Many Splendored Thing" and Jennifer Jones learns that William Holden won't be meeting her at the top of that hill, we both lost it! Not just a few sniffles, mind you, but crying out loud crying! BUCKETS of crying!
Posted by Donna - Cabaret West @ 04/19/2002 11:36 AM PST

Frankenstein (1931); Bambi (1942); Casablanca (1942); Lassie Come Home (1943); A Star Is Born (1954); The King and I (1956); The Curse of Frankenstein (1957); Born Free (1966); Brian’s Song (1971); Fiddler on the Roof (1971); Silent Running (1971); Sunshine (1973) (TV); The Way We Were (1973); L’Argent de Poche (1976); Annie Hall (1977); Ice Castles (1978); Hair (1979); The Rose (1979); E.T.—The Extra-terrestrial (1982); Sophie’s Choice (1982); Yentl (1983); The Fly (1986); Nuovo Cinema Paradiso (1988); Beauty and the Beast (1991); Schindler’s List (1993); The Lion King (1994); Contact (1997); Saving Private Ryan (1998)—and just so I do not miss an opportunity to be bitch-slapped, any motion picture except The Big Chill that features a performance by Kevin Costner or Noni Horowitz.
Off-topic—plays, not movies: Carousel (1945); The King and I (1951); West Side Story (1957); A Chorus Line (1975); ’night, Mother (1983); Grand Hotel (1991); W;t (1999).
Posted by freedunit @ 04/19/2002 11:53 AM PST

Something worth crying over:
(This is for anyone who can answer the question)
Why hasn't "Liza With A 'Z'" ever been released on video?
This has bothered me for a long time. For one thing, I'd love to see it again. For another, if they can issue every Barbra Streisand TV special, why can't this one also be issued?
Anyone have a clue what the problem is?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/19/2002 12:10 PM PST

I haven't met a man yet who wouldn't admit to crying at the end of "Field of Dreams". This seems to be the *only* film that men can universally agree is a real tear-jerker. When Ray asks his dad to play catch, it pulls at something deep inside each of us.
Since someone mentioned musicals, I haven't been able to get through RAGTIME or PARADE yet without crying at least once. (Speaking of PARADE, I must send out kudos to the University of Michigan on a job well done with their recent production!)
Posted by Dave @ 04/19/2002 01:49 PM PST

To answer two of yesterday's questions at once, I will quote from "Not Since Carrie", by Ken Mandelbaum:
"There was a senseless to-do over the casting of Mabel. Penny Fuler was first announced, then Marcia Rodd was hired. Rodd was fired by [Gower] Champion when he saw a young singer named Kelly Garrett in a show called Words and Music. Champion hired and then fired Garrett, announcing to the press that she couldnn't act, and the role went to Bernadette Peters."
Posted by Dave @ 04/19/2002 02:19 PM PST

Maybe Kelly Garrett couldn't talk her boss Charlie into giving her any time off from her job (private investigations, usually involving infiltrating a cheerleading camp, a girls' school for the gifted and incredibly busty, a roller derby team, or the like), so she had to give up the role in Mack and Mabel. Champion told the press that she couldn't act and he had to fire her in order to save face.
Just a thought.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/19/2002 02:44 PM PST

This guy did not weep in Field Of Dreams! Maybe you need to like baseball.
"Death In Venice" (the Mahler helps) and "Carousel" where Billy hits out as his daughter.
Was Russell Crow acting in "Gladiator"? But then if Charlton Heston can win an oscar!
Each to his own of course - "Beaches" was pure corn - but I didn't like "Steel Magnolias" either. What do I know anyway? Not liking Midler much may be influential here!
The "pathos" in Chaplin films gets to me and "Limelight" is beautiful.
Posted by Tom from OZ @ 04/19/2002 02:56 PM PST

There is nothing worse than seeing E.T. with a bunch of stupid, TV-raised teenagers who simply have no humanity and do not cry during movies. But EYE did, of course. Also, It's a Wonderful Life, The Sound of Music, White Christmas ("We'll Follow the Old Man..."), An Affair to Remember, and probably more, but I can't think of them right now...
Posted by Lolita @ 04/19/2002 04:18 PM PST

Calling Mark Bakalor. We have a disconcerting shift to the right again! It's probably from all the shmoes showing off with their--hey, who did that?
Posted by JMK @ 04/19/2002 04:24 PM PST

No, it is not necessary to like baseball to find "Field of Dreams" emotionally draining.
The entire sequence with Ray learning that his father was one of the ball players -- and thinking that he had built the field because of his father -- and being correctly told that, "No, Ray. It was for you!" Because in fact, Ray had unresolved issues with his father and their strongest connection had always been with baseball.
So there is that wonderful scene where "John" is asking Ray, "Is this heaven?" Ray says, "No, this is Iowa? Is there a heaven?" To which John replies, "Oh, yeah..."
And Ray sees his wife and daughter on the porch swing and admits to himself that, "Maybe this IS heaven."
As John is leaving, Ray asks: "Hey, Dad! Wanna have a catch?"
And that's where I lose it every time. Ray is able to recapture something he carelessly tossed aside.
Sorry...it's very moving for me and I don't give a fig about baseball.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/19/2002 04:33 PM PST

I seem to cry a lot at movies (and I don't admit to this a lot; I'm British and therefore only supposed to cry if I really hurt myself). Most recently, I was in tears through pretty much all of the second half of "Iris".
Otherwise - "Ordinary People", "American Beauty", "Truly Madly Deeply" (Juliet Stevenson is maybe the only actress in British Equity who can 'do' snot), plus an impressive cross-section of movies other people have mentioned.
Apart from "Yentl". "Yentl" makes me cry - with laughter. Sorry! I'll admit to having cried during both "Beaches" and "Terms of Endearment" - I hated myself afterwards, but I cried nonetheless.
Posted by Stephen Farrow @ 04/19/2002 05:01 PM PST

[Sniffle] There are so many good films being mentioned here that truly jerk the tears.
Some others -- "Steel Magnolias", "Pretty Woman," "Resurrection," "Working Girl," "Shenandoah" (aughh!!!)
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/19/2002 05:54 PM PST

"Bambi" (pretty much from the opening credits on)
"E.T." (ditto)
"Dumbo" (the "Baby Mine sequence wipes me out)
"On Golden Pond" (the first time only)
"Philadelphia"
"Schindler's List"
I can get teary very easily at movies; it's real life that has me stumped.
Posted by Kerry @ 04/19/2002 08:42 PM PST

TV can do it too. I even cried when Buffy lost Mrs. Beasley.
Posted by Kerry @ 04/19/2002 08:43 PM PST

And though it's been years since I have seen it, the Jane Darwell "Feed the Birds" sequence in "Mary Poppins."
Posted by Kerry @ 04/19/2002 09:27 PM PST

Don't despair about your diet, Bruce. Pretty soon, you'll be singing "The Pounds That Got Away" and showing off your svelte self in your cutoffs and dancing the Pudding Dance.
Posted by Kerry @ 04/19/2002 09:29 PM PST

Have patience, BK. You've only been dieting a couple days. Wait at least six months before giving up (like me). I suggest you try the soy ham chunks and the soy cheese slices.
Posted by Laura @ 04/19/2002 09:39 PM PST

Russell Crowe was Insider, then Gladiator.
Posted by freedunit @ 04/19/2002 09:51 PM PST

Do what I do. Drink plenty of water eight glasses or more to flush out that system. Steam room. Also try pee pills, colonics and if all fails liposuction
Posted by Richard Simmons @ 04/20/2002 06:20 AM PST

i am a crier and i do a lot of tear shedding i am sam and life as a house had my tear buckets over flowing. angel eyes is a great love story for a man and his wife we were both bawling your eyes out. a rumor of angels is another great one.there are a lot i cry over but that just the way i am a cry baby when comes to movies.
Posted by steve donaghy @ 12/11/2002 03:32 AM PST

i am a crier and i do a lot of tear shedding i am sam and life as a house had my tear buckets over flowing. angel eyes is a great love story for a man and his wife we were both bawling your eyes out. a rumor of angels is another great one.there are a lot i cry over but that just the way i am a cry baby when comes to movies.
Posted by steve donaghy @ 12/11/2002 03:33 AM PST

My daughter has Tourette's and has had since she was 12. Now, she is 17 and getting ready for college. Two things:
1. Does anyone know of any scholarsips that she may be eligible for because of Tourette's and
2. Could I hear from a college girl that has TS and learn how she is coping in college.
Thanks
Posted by Cindy O'Brien @ 01/27/2003 10:41 AM PST

Ask BK: Got a question? Ask Bruce Kimmel...

© Copyright 2001-2003 Bruce Kimmel.
All Rights Reserved. Site design by hijinks design.