haines his way

05/05/2002:
"COOL, MAN, COOL"

Well, dear readers, I picked up quite a few new DVDs yesterday, all titles that should be out on Tuesday. So, last night I watched one of them – a Cliff Richard musical called The Young Ones. It was an eye-popper this musical was. First off, it’s totally enjoyable and winning, and Mr. Richard is charming. The film is giddily entrancing and quite mad – sort of an amalgam of Babes In Arms, Bye Bye Birdie and West Side Story, with one rather mind-boggling number that will have your jaw dropping – think Bob Fosse and Steam Heat with umbrellas. It was directed by Sidney J. Furie, who would, in a few years time, give us The Ipcress File. There are times during the film when you’ll swear you’re watching Bye Bye Birdie, because of the costumes and the way it’s shot, although this film precedes the film of Birdie and it’s not spoofing rock and roll. There are a few Elvis type numbers, but most of the songs are firmly entrenched in the land of the Broadway/MGM musical. The choreography, like the film, is stylistically all over the place – some Jerry Robbins here, some Onna White there, with a bit of Gower Champion and Gene Kelly thrown in, along with the above-mentioned dose of Bob Fosse. And do you know who the choreographer was? Well, I’ll tell you who it was because why should I keep that information from you after bringing it up in the first place? The choreographer was none other than Mr. Herbert Ross, that’s who the choreographer was. The transfer looks amazing (Anchor Bay via Studio Canal – every time I see the Studio Canal logo, which I love, at the beginning of a DVD, I know it will be a superb transfer), it was a Cinemascope film and the transfer is enhanced for widescreen tvs. There is also a commentary track with Mr. Furie, which I’ve only listened to a bit of. The most interesting thing about that is that Mr. Furie, who I’d always presumed was a Brit, sounds like an American. Anyway, I totally recommend this – if you need one more reason to try it, it also has the sublime Robert Morley. Anchor Bay has also released Summer Holiday, another Cliff Richard musical (similar in style, also choreographed by Mr. Ross), which I also got but haven’t watched yet.
I went from The Young Ones to I Want to Live! starring Miss Susan Hayward in her Academy Award-winning performance. She’s great in this film. The film is a bit wacky at times, but it still works and is quite powerful. It also has a cool, man, cool score by Johnny Mandel, which is played by some cool, man, cool players (who are also featured in the film) – Shelly Manne, man, Gerry Mulligan, Art Farmer, Pete Jolly, man. They are the most cooliscious, man.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? What am I, trying to win the Longest Paragraph in History Award, man?
I am here to tell you that we’ve only had one guess in our Unseemly Trivia Contest. How is that possible? If you haven’t seen the question (we did not have a lot of dear readers yesterday) then just check out yesterday’s notes which are lying next to yesterday’s mashed potatoes, man, and then send your unseemly guesses. And for those who have been posting their own unseemly trivia queries, save them and send them to me and I will have some guest trivia contest questions. If I use your question I will send you a sparkling prize.
Well, it is now 8:55 a.m. and I think that is a fine time for all of us to click on the Unseemly Button below.

I also bought a brand spanking new CD yesterday, a Japanese import of Astrud Gilberto’s The Shadow of Your Smile. I have always been a fan of Miss Astrud Gilberto and her charming wispy voice. This is my favorite of her albums, and it’s rather annoying that it has never been released here in the US. Beautiful songs, spectacularly arranged and orchestrated by the likes of Mr. Claus Ogerman, Joao Donato and Mr. Don Sebesky. My favorites on the album are The Gentle Rain (not to be confused with Pat Boone’s The Gentile Rain) and Funny World, which has music by Mr. Ennio Morricone himself. I love these Japanese imports of Verve LPs, because they don’t come in jewel cases – they look like miniature LPs. I’ve got quite a few of these (Japan Columbia did most of the Miles Davis albums this way, too) and I find them totally cool, man.
I’m still not quite feeling up to snuff. Now wait just a darned minute, man. Isn’t snuff the stuff you sniff? Why on earth would I want to feel up to snuff? I don’t even like snuff and yet I want to feel up to it. Luckily, I don’t want to feel up snuff because that would be unseemly, man. But I do like that sentence “Isn’t snuff the stuff you sniff”. I think that is a fine sentence, don’t you, dear readers? Say it aloud – it just trips lightly off the tongue, doesn’t it? Well, I don’t know about lightly off the tongue, that might be stretching it. Have you ever stretched “it”? “It” doesn’t look so good stretched – iiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt. I don’t like a stretched “it”, let me tell you that. A stretched “it” is not pleasing to the eye nor is it pleasing to the I. What the hell am I talking about?
We found out an important thing yesterday here at haineshisway.com. We found out that westerns are not our dear readers thing, man. Westerns are not cooliscious, man, and we shall never discuss them again. Not only will we never discuss the western again, we will also never eat a Western Omelet again. We will never again watch a film in which Wes Stern appears (well, there aren’t that many). We will never drive down Western Ave. again. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, the western is kaput here at haineshisway.com. No John Wayne here at haineshisway.com, only Ethel Merman. If Ethel Merman had starred in High Noon, you can bet your western boots we’d be discussing it. Wouldn’t Ethel be great in High Noon? I can hear her singing now:
Bad men,
Come soon.
Meet at
High noon.
We’ll fight
And they will die
I’ll be ridin’
I’m ridin’ high
Noon.
Or
There’s no shootout like this shootout
Like no shootout I know.
There’ll be guns a’blazing that’s for certain
I am gonna shoot Frank Miller now.
Miller’s gonna have his final curtain
Yes, he’ll be hurtin’ and how!
Yes, what a shame that never happened. Oh, well, no more westerns, ever.
Well, dear readers, it’s very gray outside. Man, is it gray, man. And my kitchen reeks of Chinese food, which is what I ate last night. I must take the remnants out to the trash can. And then I shall come back in the house and stretch “it” some more, just for the hell of “it”.
Today’s topic of discussion is not westerns. Don’t even think about discussing westerns. I do not want to hear one mention of a western, or there will be bitch-slapping going on here. Westerns are verboten, in case you hadn’t heard. No, today’s topic of discussion is up for grabs because today is Sunday and Sunday is free-for-all day at haineshisway.com. That means you can post whatever you wish, as long as it falls within our stringently set guidelines. In other words, don’t mention a western. So, post away and I’ll be back later to see what y’all are discussin’. Most of all, be cool, man. Put on some Shelly Manne, man. Or some Herbie Mann, man.

Replies: 19 Unseemly Comments

Now that you mention it, what is Wes Stern up to these days?
Posted by Kerry @ 05/05/2002 10:28 AM PST

Donato has been releasing CDs like crazy over the past couple of years--I highly recommend all of them. His wonderful 1965 "New Sound of Brazil," with arrangements by Mr. Ogerman, is also newly available on CD. I also recommend Joao's delicious collaborations with the Japanese singer of Bossa Nova (hmmmm...), Lisa Ono (no relation, as far as I know, to Yoko). My favorite Joao Donato tune is "A Ra (The Frog)", which he co-wrote with the equally cooliscious Caetano Veloso. Donato loves repeated figures in his melody which he twists slightly and reharmonizes in wonderfully inventive ways. All of "A Ra" is basically built on a two-note "trope", with the first note being repeated several times. Thus ends today's essay on Joao Donato.
However, I have a funny Hoover story for you. My sister-in-law's name is Ahuva (Hebrew for "love"). When my wife and I were planning our wedding, my wife called her maid of honor and was listing who would be there, and got to Ahuva, at which point the maid of honor, who is kind of a Rhoda Morgenstern-ish NYC Jew, said "Ahuva? That's not a name, that's a vaccum cleaner!"
Posted by JMK @ 05/05/2002 10:55 AM PST

Wes actually called me when I was at Varese Sarabande, and he came in and we had a nice chat. At that time he was working with and/or selling computers. We used to always be up for the same parts - sometimes he got them, sometimes I got them. Very nice fellow, though.
Posted by bk @ 05/05/2002 10:56 AM PST

I was hoping today you would ask what our favorite Easterns are.
Posted by freedunit @ 05/05/2002 11:17 AM PST

Holy moley on rye, have I gone mad? Today is Cinco de Mayo for heaven's sake. We must put on our sombreros and colorful Mexican serapes and we must dance the Cucaracha and we must eat cheese slices con queso and ham chunk burritos. We must say Hola to all who pass us on the street. And don't forget that great Hinky Meltz and Ernest Ernest song, I Eat Mayo on Cinco de Mayo.
I eat mayo on Cinco de Mayo
I sing Day-O when I'm in Ohio.
I love that song. Anyway, let us party till the toros come home to their adobe huts.
Posted by bk @ 05/05/2002 11:29 AM PST

Where is everyone? Today I used the word unseemly and was challenged as to its meaning. I defined unseemly there on the spot (which the spot did not appreciate) and was challenged AGAIN and made to look it up in the dictionary. Of course I was right because I've had so much practice using the word unseemly, but can you imagine?
Anyway. A while ago I posted that I didn't know why "On the Street Where You Live" was wrong. I even asked a certain person why it was wrong using a certain internet chatting device. And no one has yet answered me.
Please, please, please, from the bottom of my uneducated seventeen year old heart, why should it be "In the Street Where You Live"???
All right. Happy Sunday.
;)
Posted by Lolita @ 05/05/2002 01:09 PM PST

Well, BK, I for one intend to abide by the rules, especially where Westerns are concerned. If we are not to mention Westerns, then I won't mention Westerns. The word Western will cross neither my lips nor my keyboard, nor will the name of any Western nor any off-hand alusion to any Western. I won't even think about Westerns, muchless subvocalize the word Western or silently mouth the word Western. No Westerns, period.
Now, what was it I was going to post about?
Posted by William F. Orr @ 05/05/2002 01:16 PM PST

Lolita, my love:
I believe that, although we Americans say "I live on Kimmel Street", the Brits say "I live in L'Avenue Guy Haines." And Freddy Eynsford-Hill is, presumably, British.
Just as, when Sweeney Todd says, "Well, you never know if it's going to run", he should have said, "Well, you never know if it's going to stand."
Posted by William F. Orr @ 05/05/2002 01:20 PM PST

Since it's free-for-all day, I'd like to ask everyone to please send good vibes Megan's way. Her caseworker is sending her to a group home in Colorado, and she's kinda nervous about going so far away.
Posted by Laura @ 05/05/2002 01:21 PM PST

Which would make it a pie stand.
:-/
And oh yes, Bruce, I thought when you said your Hoover really sucked you were talking about J. Edgar.
"-\
Posted by William F. Orr @ 05/05/2002 01:22 PM PST

With all those mentions of Verve recordings I wonder if anyone can help me locate a recording on Verve by Irene Reid. She has a small success on 60's charts here with a single "(My Heart Said)Bossa Nova" but I have been unable to locate any info on Amazon etc and my old single is somewhat scratchy. Maybe it has been released in Japan. Which leads me to think about Dance Crazes of the 50's and 60's. Does anyone do the Hucklebuck, the Locomotion or the Bossa Nova anymore? Perhaps the Pudding dance has taken over - surely not the Hora on a worldwide scale. Amazingly the Twist seems to survive at some social gatherings! The Limbo Rock has an inbuilt age barrier I guess.
Posted by Tom from OZ @ 05/05/2002 02:47 PM PST

I don't know about anybody else, but I've decided I'm pissed off. I don't know who the villains are in "The Story" but we are all the victims. Look at all the fabulous recordings Bruce is not producing and that we are not getting to hear. I for one am tired of this deprivation.
Posted by Scott @ 05/05/2002 07:33 PM PST

Hainsies and Kimmlets may not like Westerns much, but grievance committee Babe Williams sure does. Just back from Encores! where she said, “I’m gonna make a Western…Do you want a Western?…I’m gonna go make that Western.” What is she—John Ford all of a sudden?
Posted by freedunit @ 05/05/2002 08:16 PM PST

Lolita, darling, Mister Orr addresses it below. Simply put...
U.S. “On the Street Where You Live” =
U.K. “In the Street Where You Live”
It is a case of two countries divided by a common language.
To address to your question directly, most certainly Eliza Doolittle does live in the street where she lives. However, Anglophile Alan Jay Lerner wrote My Fair Lady in the U.S. idiom.
WESTERN
ESTERNW
STERNWE
TERNWES
ERNWEST
RNWESTE
NWESTER What are we not supposed to mention?
Posted by freedunit @ 05/05/2002 09:36 PM PST

Laura, I am definitely sending good vibes to Megan. I really don't understand this situation, but it sounds less than pleasant, so I figure you all need all the help you can get.
Posted by Kerry @ 05/05/2002 10:09 PM PST

Thanks, Kerry. Obviously I don't want to post details online. She's a good kid in a tough situation. I often print up BK's notes and share them with her -- she especially likes the Meltz/Ernest songs. And she has an unusual talent: she can talk backwards.
Posted by Laura @ 05/05/2002 11:14 PM PST

Since it's come to this, I shall discuss it here!
First, I normally ignore mail from folks I don't know (i.e., recognize a name).
Why it was that this e-mail that popped up on my screen yesterday from one "Wise Blood" did not see me sending it down the old flusheroo I cannot say. I could speculate, I could fabricate, I could gesticulate. But I could not say with any degree of accuracy.
At any rate, I opened it. And it made a suggestion of an impossible nature.
Now I ask you....WHAT have I said or done to anyone for them to suggest I do something patently impossible????
Since my e-mail address is posted at Film Score Monthly and here, ONLY, it had to be someone who reads at one of the locations. Given that the suggestion was obviously from someone who probably cannot follow a thought of more than few words...none of which may be multisyllabic...I must conclude it was from one of the many folks at Film Score Monthly, most of whom have very little to say about film music because they aren't well-versed in it.
That's my problem there...holding my tongue when someone says something stupid...which is pert near all the time in any given thread...but I only respond to theads that interest me and I do try to be nice about it.
Still...there are times when someone is posting the virtues of something I think is crap. I post that I think it is crap. Not that "they" are crap for liking it, but that the work is crap.
Usually, the crap flies on them there pages -- most of the children, for that is what they mostly are, start making ugly potshots at me....they cannot defend their positions without making it personal.
Another serious drawback of our uneducational institutions.
At any rate, I did respond to "Wise Blood" (actually
"Wise_Blood2001@yahool.com)inviting him (or her????) to go first.
I did not utter one nasty word (I'm so proud of me), but thereafter, I'm afraid I was testy in a few responses to messages -- baiting, as it were, friendly folks.
That's why I waited until today to respond to yesterday's free-for-all. Mainly because no one will read it....: )
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 05/06/2002 09:25 AM PST

Having visited upon occasion those unseemly cretins over at filmscoremonthly.com, I can assure you your untoward e-mail came from someone there. I can most assuredly assure you it came from no one here, because we do not do unseemly things here because they would be unseemly. That is why we grow in popularity with every passing day - because this is one site where there is no rancor, no idiocy, and even are young dear readers have humor and intelligence. I frequent many Usenet discussion groups and they are just disgusting - no humor, a bunch of idiots running rampant for the most part, but that's Usenet for you. I am proud of each and every person who reads and posts here. We are lively, we are smart, we are simply too too. In fact, to tie it all up in a pretty pink ribbon - we are cool, man, cool.
Posted by bk @ 05/06/2002 11:39 AM PST

"Even are young dear readers have humor and intelligence" said I. "Are" dear readers? Apparently, my intelligence skipped a beat. Of course it should be "our".
Posted by bk @ 05/06/2002 11:41 AM PST

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