haines his way

05/15/2002:
"HEAVY TRAFFIC"

Well, dear readers, the majority has spoken once again and we shall keep our handy-dandy Unseemly Trivia Contest. Did you know that on Monday our traffic here at haineshisway.com doubled? Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, on Monday our traffic doubled. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? Soon we will be the most popular site on all the internet and people will throw us bouquets and we shall say, “Don’t throw bouquets at me”, and it will be hip to come here and it will be not only hip to come here, it will be knee to come here, too. Because to come here is to be cool, man, because this site is cool, man, real cool. So, keep telling your friends and neighbors and also your neighbors and friends – the more the merrier say I. Soon Hainsies/Kimlets will take over the world. And the world will know us by our cheese slices and ham chunks and shrimp bits on toast, and our ability to dance the Hora whilst under the influence of Diet Coke. I predict great things for us, dear readers. What am I, Criswell all of a sudden?
Wasn’t list day fun yesterday? We had all manner of lists. We had this list and that list, in fact the only list we didn’t have was Franz Liszt.
A very exciting DVD came out yesterday – Mr. Rod Serling’s Requiem for a Heavyweight. This DVD is the film version as opposed to the Playhouse 90 television version. I watched a little bit of it and it looks and sounds great – I really like Requiem for a Heavyweight, especially this film version, directed by Ralph Nelson and starring Anthony Quinn as Mountain Rivera, Jackie Gleason, Mickey Rooney, Julie Harris, and the intensely weird Madame Spivy. Madame Spive was quite a popular character actor back then – her best role is in an Alfred Hitchcock Presents called Specialty of the House, which is one of the most delectable half-hours ever done on television. Anyway, I recommend Requiem for a Heavyweight, the movie. It’s also got a powerhouse musical score by the brilliant Laurence Rosenthal (he of Sherry!). In fact, Mr. Rosenthal wrote three of the best film scores I’ve ever heard and he wrote them back to back: A Raisin In The Sun, The Miracle Worker and Requiem for a Heavyweight.
Also out is a film called The Man Who Haunted Himself. When I looked at the DVD package and read the plot, I thought it sounded very familiar. As soon as I put the DVD on and looked at the credits, I knew exactly what it was: this film is adapted from a short story that was also done as an Alfred Hitchcock Presents half-hour (directed by Mr. Hitchcock himself) called The Case of Mr. Pelham. I haven’t watched it yet, but intend to very soon. It stars the pre-James Bond Roger Moore and was the final film directed by the good director, Mr. Basil Dearden.
What am I, the DVD Newsletter all of a sudden? Oh, I have some very good news, dear readers. The pain in my back has vanished – it disappeared instantaneously about an hour after I wrote yesterday’s notes. Isn’t that weird? First there’s unbearable pain, and then a moment later it is totally gone. Oh, well, as Mr. Alan Jay Lerner once said, “The pain in Spain stays mainly on the plane”. Or was it Herve Villechaize who said that?
What in tarnation is going on here? While we are reveling in the thought of our heavy traffic, while we are discussing DVD ephemera, while we are invoking the name of Herve Villechaize, shouldn’t we be clicking on the Unseemly Button below? We should and we shall, not necessarily in that order.

Have I mentioned that our traffic doubled on Monday? If one has to be in heavy traffic, this is the place to be, by golly and by gum. Even some of our lurkers out there in the dark delurked and posted.
Shortly, I must be on my way to a pitch meeting where Mr. David Wechter and I shall be pitching in a meeting. We will be pitching three count them three of our handy-dandy fancy shmancy story ideas to a big Hollywood producer. If the big Hollywood producer ends up buying any of them, I will treat you all to a fine meal of cheese slices and ham chunks, a veal chop and a sparkling vegetable such as peas. So, keep your fingers crossed. Do know that I absolutely hate pitch meetings and that I shall be miserable whilst sitting there like so much fish.
After our pitch meeting, I will be coming home to finally put the stamp of approval on the book galley. I made a last minute change to the spacing between lines (there was a bit too much space and I found it unseemly) and that, of course, changed some other things, which then had to be fixed. I’ll see those fixes (there weren’t many) and if they are fine, I swear that will be it. I will sign off, I will walk away, I will be done. We’re still anticipating that the book will be available on the 1st Books website mid to late June. We are still trying to arrange so that signed copies may be purchased here, for the same price as 1st Books. That is, if anyone wants a fershluganah signed copy of the thing. Mr. Mark Bakalor also assures me that by the time the book and DVD are ready, we will have some brand spanking new products for sale here, including Nudie Musical t-shirts, shorts and hats, and also Benjamin Kritzer t-shirts and shorts and hats.
Tonight I will be going to a lecture on the popular American song, given by my popular American pal Jim Jimirro. He’s been doing these lectures (at the Beverly Hills Public Library, I think) for over a year and has built up quite a following, and he’s been trying to get me to come down and hear one of the lectures, so by gum and by golly I am finally going. I will let you know how it was.
Do you know what I found out? Well, I’ll tell you what I found out because why should I keep such things as what I found out from you? There is someone on eBay selling the DVD of The First Nudie Musical. Yes, Virginia, you heard that right. There is someone selling a DVD that doesn’t exist quite yet. Of course, when you go in and look at the item description, you find out that he is in fact taking preorders, just like amazon. Only his opening bid is over $22 (plus four dollars shipping). Amazon has it for under $19. I also found his description of the DVD as a “rarity” a bit disingenuous, and I wrote and told him so. It can’t exactly be a rarity when it will be available in every DVD store in the United States. In any case, it’s a Dutch auction, which means up to twelve people can win the DVD, as long as they are Dutch. He already had one bid at that steep price. You’d think people would nose around and check prices, but that’s eBay for you.
Well, dear readers, do you remember what today is? Today is Ask BK Day, the day where you get to ask me anything your collective heart desires. Any question at all. And I shall answer in uncompromising fashion (calypso pants, with a flowing orange shirt, and white pumps). I will keep nothing from you, dear readers. I will withhold nothing. So, put on your thinking caps and come up with some of your usual excellent questions.
Well, I must be off, I must greet the day, I must do the things I do and prepare to pitch. I do hope I don’t have heavy traffic on the way to Culver City, California – I hope all the heavy traffic is right here at haineshisway.com posting their questions.

Replies: 35 Unseemly Comments

Dear BK,
1. Exactly how many dear readers are there who come to this site? How many lurkers?
2. What is your cleaning lady's name? I think we dear readers must know this piece of information.
Posted by Laura @ 05/15/2002 09:02 AM PST

I know you are no longer interested in telling The Story, but your references to the No-longer-being done Christiane Noll Sings Rodgers and Hammerstein CD on the Radio Show got me to thinking: Weren't some other projects you were producing -- like Brent Barrett's second colo CD -- actually recorded? Are they in some sort of limbo now?
Posted by Phil Crosby @ 05/15/2002 09:07 AM PST

I'm curious as to your take on this year's Tony nominations--more specifically, egregious exclusions and/or inclusions?
Posted by JMK @ 05/15/2002 09:09 AM PST

bk-
1)In making up your list of 12 favorite songs from Musicals you must have had more than 12 on your list...What are the next 12 favorites?
2)One of the disconcerting and disquieting things I find in todays musical recordings is the slow fading out at the end of a song. Why is this done,what does it really accomplish and does it bother you as much as it does me?
3) I have just purchased the DVD of Love's Labour's Lost. What is your opinion of the movie and what is your opinion of the musical arrangements and Patrick Doye's score??
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 05/15/2002 11:20 AM PST

Here are two questions:
One is rather lengthly and the other is not.
In last week's ASK BK, you explained at length what a producer does and one of the things that a producer does is he the he (or she)decides the track order of the cd. This seems to be as important as the order as cabaret singer sings his or her songs. According to this very interesting book I am reading about the Cabaret business.
I was wondering if you can use as an example Liz Callaway's The Story Goes On: Liz Callaway On and Off-Broadwaty. The reason why I chose this cd is that of all of your vocal cds, with the exception of Christiane Noll's A Broadway Love Story, by rearranging the tracks I thought that they can tell a story. (I thought of this before hearing Noll's album)
The track order would be as follows with my album notes for the reason why the track is where it is.
1)You There In The Back Row. (Why the woman is telling her story)
2)One Boy(Her First teenage crush)
3)Where is Love? (Her first serious affair)
4)Marry Me a Little (She asks him to marry her.)
5)I Got the Sun In the Morning (He says "Yes" and she is overjoyed.
6)Sleepy Man (After the first time they make love. She watches him asleep next to her)
7)The Story Goes On (She finds out she is pregnant. She thinks it will be a girl)
8)A Place Called Home (A perfect idolized family with the baby on the way)
9)Meadowlark (She tells her baby, a boy, her favorite bedtime story.)
10)Stop, Time (She watches her child grow. It is a boy.)
11)Knowing When To Leave/Promises, Promises (Her marriage breaks up)
12)I'm Gonna Wash That Man Out of My Hair (She is glad to get rid of her husband)
13)Since You Stayed Here (The husband comes back, but she tells things have changed)
14)Our Time (Her best friend, another divorcee, realize that now is the best time of their life)
My second question: Are there any songs that became "Lost in Boston" from any of the 100 + albums you have produced? And if so why didn't they didn't make the final release.
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 05/15/2002 11:21 AM PST

The name is Patrick Doyle,,,sorry.
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 05/15/2002 11:22 AM PST

Question day - perhaps my favorite day of all, nay! it's answer day that is so fun...
Ok.. to start, here are a few not so random questions:
1. If you could play any role in any show (the fact that you might not be 'type' is irrelevant) what show, what role and why?
2. Most of us know that Stephen Sondheim wrote at least 3 musicals as "assignments" given to him by his protege - one being a musical of "Mary Poppins". You have done Unsung Sondheim albums and I was just wondering, since he is a friend, if the public will ever get to hear any of the songs from any of these unpublished shows.
3. Many times cast albums OMIT songs that are actually in the production (for time reasons, or whatever). Do you know of any cast albums that actually have tracks on them that were CUT from the show and yet still appear on the album?
4. Do you eat chinese food in bed? And if so, what is the best place to get chinese food to be eaten in bed? Are there dishes to avoid? Do you add the phrase "IN BED" at then end of your fortunes?
5. If PROGRESS IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL and MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL, and MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND, then is it safe to say that Kander and Ebb's And the World Goes Round is Progressive Evil?
Posted by Craig @ 05/15/2002 11:34 AM PST

Sondheim's MENTOR, not protege>... sorry
Posted by Craig @ 05/15/2002 11:40 AM PST

I recently started a thread on rec.arts.theatre.musicals on fake lead-ins and endings on cast albums (particularly evident on those great old Columbia albums, i.e. the orchestral introduction added to "Some People" on the GYPSY album, or the fake ending for "Drive a Person Crazy" on the OCR of COMPANY). So my question is: Have you ever produced an original cast recording where you and/or the writers decided to add a lead-in or ending that was not in the show itself? And if so, for what reasons?
To Arnold Brockman: Could it be that this practice of the slow fade-out is something that's done to create a semblance of an "ending" to numbers that don't really end in the show? (I know that on the old cast albums they would sometimes use a fade-out instead of the original ending if the fade-out seemed more appropriate for radio play, i.e. "You've Got Possibilities" in SUPERMAN)
And to Craig: I'm not BK, but I can think of several instances where albums recorded songs that had already been cut from the show; this happens a lot with Sondheim, who had "There Won't Be Trumpets" recorded for ANYONE CAN WHISTLE (though it didn't make it onto the album) and went on to have his producers record the Judge's song in SWEENEY TODD and expanded versions of a couple of songs in INTO THE WOODS.
Posted by Jaime J. Weinman @ 05/15/2002 12:37 PM PST

Question for BK:
The film musical seems to be in semi-permanent retirement. Of course, there are brief attempts to revive them - i.e. this year's Moulin Rouge and, soon to come out, Chicago. According to Stephen Schwartz, even the animated musical outlet has dried up. What do you think is needed and what do you think is lacking in today's film musical?
P.S. to Craig, Hapgood and William F. Orr: Thanks for the additional "tongue-twister" song titles. I only knew two from your lists, so I'll be researching the rest.
P.P.S. A couple of days ago, I posted this rather late and don't think many of you saw it:
There are two events coming up in L.A. that some of you might enjoy. Click on my name below to learn more about...
- Greg Schreiner (Look for his name under Members Appearing in May)
- The Tony Awards Party in L.A. (Look under Special Programs)
Posted by Donna - Cabaret West @ 05/15/2002 01:01 PM PST

Hello, Hello, Hello.
Here are my questions for BK :)
Do you enjoy postcards? Do you send postcards? Do you recieve postcards?
Who will be designing the First Nudie Musical/Benjamin Kritzer products? Will there be more than tee shirts? Will there be undergarments as well?
Do you enjoy candy? What kind of candy?
If you write a sequal to Benjamin Kritzer, what will it be called?
Will you be doing any more radio shows in the near future?
What do you do all day?
Posted by Lolita @ 05/15/2002 01:17 PM PST

Comments, then Question!
I'll begin by saying that I've
been lurking since day one,
and must say that I have
learned of so many interesting
recordings and films that I now
must see/hear/purchase.
Love it. I'm making a running
list...and it's running over!
I wasn't familiar with "On Your
Toes" until learning of it on the
Radio Show. Hearing that one
track hooked me. Looks like
the CD will be reissued early
next month. I was intrigued by
postings referencing Eydie
Gorme's recordings of "If He
Walked into My Life" and "What
Did I Have (That I Don't Have
Now)?" both of which seemed
to be elusive recordings.
Fortunately, I found them
available on Steve and Eydie's
very own website, along with a
recording of "Golden Boy."
Speaking of expanding
collections, that leads to my
question. BK, you mentioned
that you were in the process of
transferring VHS tapes to
DVD. How are you doing this?
I wasn't aware that the
technology had become
affordable for the home user.
I'd love to start converting my
collection!
Thanks!
Posted by Scott R @ 05/15/2002 01:22 PM PST

I'd like to say welcome to the lurkers who are now posters!!
And to the lurkers who are still lurkers, join in with us.
Posted by Laura @ 05/15/2002 01:49 PM PST

If I'm asking questions, than today must be wednesday. Here goes:
1. Have you ever written and recorded a song that you later decided was too tasteless or grotesque to be put onto an album? If so, what was it?
2. What is the most disgusting movie that you have ever enjoyed?
3. What love got to do with it? What is a second-hand emotion? Is that something that can be purchased in a thriftstore?
Posted by Mattso @ 05/15/2002 01:51 PM PST

The recording you found was not "Golden Boy," but Golden Rainbow.
Posted by Correction @ 05/15/2002 02:02 PM PST

You mean you didn't know Steve and Eydie replaced Sammy Davis and Paula Wayne in "Golden Boy"? :)
We missed an opportunity to celebrate what would have been Julius Wechter's 67th birthday earlier this week. I meant to post on Monday and am only now remembering!
And in keeping with my penchant for being on and off topic simultaneously (not discussing the "topic of the day," but mentioning something in the notes), I would like to point out the Mr. Ralph Bakshi's film "Heavy Traffic" used the wonderful Sergio Mendes & Brasil '66 single "Scarborough Fair" as underscore. This single boasts stunning orchestration by Dave Grusin. I would also like to point out that Mr. Bakshi, or whoever was in charge of such things, made two hideous misspellings, replacing the "s"'s in Sergio's surname and Brasil '66 with "z"'s.
Posted by JMK @ 05/15/2002 02:20 PM PST

That's Liza with a Z
Not Lisa with an S
Because S goes SSSS
Not ZZZZZ
That's Liza!
Posted by narc-anon @ 05/15/2002 02:26 PM PST

bk-
On one of my questions I need to clarify.. I did not mean fade outs on Musical Comedy numbers per se..I meant fade out on numbers on popular and rock CD's
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 05/15/2002 02:45 PM PST

What is your least favourite recording of a Sondheim song or one that really does not "work". eg The disco version of "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd". Liza's take on "Losing My Mind" gets a few votes I would think. My own least favourite is "Send In the Clowns" as recorded by Mel Torme. (and I usually think he is great. I think the Dame Edna versions are fine - but then she is downunder royalty.
Posted by Tom Guest (from OZ) @ 05/15/2002 02:49 PM PST

Questions it is.
Have you ever turned down a part (commercial, play, movie, etc.) and why?
Will there be a sequel to Benjamin Kritzer?
Posted by Kerry @ 05/15/2002 03:07 PM PST

I think Laura's question about your cleaning lady's name is great. I want to be able to create an identity for her and visualize her. Same with your gardeners.
Posted by kerry @ 05/15/2002 03:09 PM PST

for that matter, BK -- did you even name the showtune singing bird outside your kitsch-en?
Posted by Craig @ 05/15/2002 03:13 PM PST

Dear BK,
Have you ever considered putting together a Hainehisway.com Dear Reader cookbook? It could include Eggs Potpourri, Floop, Wacky Noodles, and my Grandma's recipe for Leftovers. Wouldn't that be just too too?
Posted by Sandra @ 05/15/2002 03:30 PM PST

If you put together a cookbook, call it I Can Cook, Too!, and I'll give you some recipes.
Posted by Hildy @ 05/15/2002 04:26 PM PST

Last week, "wild horses couldn't" keep you away, in a hypothetical situation; this week we watched you suffer a "dull aching pain". This begs the question -- do you like the music of The Rolling Stones?
What features are important in a DVD Player, and what brand of DVD Player do you recommend?
Posted by Roy @ 05/15/2002 05:06 PM PST

1. a)Why do I love you?
b)Why do you love me?
c)Why should there be two happy as we?
d)Can you see a why or wherefore I should be the one you care for?
2. Have you seen Elaine Stritch's show? What do you think of the divine Miss S. in general?
Posted by Hapgood @ 05/15/2002 06:16 PM PST

My first Ask BK questions!
1. Were there ever vocal selection books put out to accompany the Lost In Boston recordings?
2. This past weekend I saw the Once On This Island reunion concert. What original Broadway cast would you like to see together again for a concert outing?
Posted by Mark L. @ 05/15/2002 07:18 PM PST

It's a new dawn! It's a new day! It's a new list! Feelin' good!
Questions in a minute, but first:
MORE SONGS THAT ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO BE ON MY LIST OF TWELVE WITHOUT ELIMINATING ANY OF THE TWELVE THAT ARE ALREADY THERE:
"If My Friends Could See Me Now" (Sweet Charity) OCR, La Verdon.
"What Are They Doing to Us Now?" (I Can Get It for You Wholesale) OCR, Babs & Co.
"Ride Through the Night" (Subways Are for Sleeping) OCR, Carol Lawrence
"Make Your Garden Grow" (Candide) OCR
"Rose's Turn" (Gypsy) The Merm, of course.
"You Can't Get a Man with a Gun" (Annie, Get Your Gun) and the Merm again.
QUESTIONS FOR BK:
1. Since you reqest that we ask any question whatsoever, I'm surprised I haven't seen this one asked. Please describe, in detail, your love life, from puberty to last Friday, include incidents that even The Inquirer wouldn't publish.
2. My apologies if this has been asked before, but would you care to comment on Tom Shepherd's remastered Gypsy. I was impressed that he did document in the notes, by time and bar numbers, every change he made from the original release. I appreciate that honesty, attention to detail, and respect for the listener.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 05/15/2002 10:01 PM PST

I realize that (and hope)Stephen Joshua Sondheim has many more musicals to offer us in the future.However,are there any plans(that you know of)to combine in one book all the LYRICS so far??
Posted by Arnold M.Brockman @ 05/15/2002 10:11 PM PST

And, oh yes, BK let me wish you a broken leg or two at your Pitch Session today.
Personally, I have never really been involved in pitching, having been exiled to Center Field during my gruesome stint in the de riguer Little League during my childhood in Oklahoma. If you find pitching so irksome, have you considered Catcher or Short Stop?
Posted by William F. Orr @ 05/16/2002 03:00 AM PST

Why doesn't Guy Haines know from songs?
I think Hapgood is coming onto you, bk.
Posted by freedunit @ 05/16/2002 07:12 AM PST

Oh, and if you do name the cleaning woman per others' requests, please would you give her a too-too fictitious name or nom de notes?
Have the Tonys now and forever become marketing tools--pawns!--of road presenter-voters?
Posted by freedunit @ 05/16/2002 07:17 AM PST

To William Orr: Sorry to butt in on questions reserved for BK, but I'd like to give my two cents on the Shepard remastering of GYPSY. What I find incomprehensible is how Shepard can say, as he does in the notes, that "my conscience is eased somewhat because I know that for the last forty years, the original cast recording of GYPSY has reflected the choices made at that time by the writers and the album producer." Let me get this straight: These choices have stood for 40 years and that makes him feel *less* uncomfortable about overturning these choices in a CD that will henceforth be marketed as the only available version of this album?
What bothers me is not the addition of extra music that was left off -- I'm perfectly happy to hear the complete "You Gotta Have a Gimmick," even if there may have been good reasons for cutting it down on the original album -- but the use of "alternate" takes of music that *was* on the original album. The most obvious example is the last half of "All I Need is the Girl." The original producer, writers, performers, listened to the available takes and decided which parts of which takes to use. If they had wanted to use this particular part, with Louise squealing, they certainly could have. What I find upsetting about Shepard's decision is that:
a) he has effectively overruled the original editing decisions for no better reason than that he has a personal preference for another take. But it's not his album, and that shouldn't be his decision. And there *are* people alive who were at the original sessions, and might be better qualified to say what they were going for at the time -- most obviously, Stephen Sondheim and Arthur Laurents. Were they consulted about this?
b) There are perfectly good, sound, sensible reasons why this particular take of "All I Need" was not used. Not only is Louise's squealing distracting, but this take leaves Tulsa dead centre in terms of the stereo stage -- whereas the take Lieberson finally used is a "dancing" take, which features the performer moving around the studio stage while the microphones convey his movements. This dancing effect is completely lost if you have Tulsa's voice and feet fixed in one channel. And this take, the one chosen by those involved in the original sessions, can no longer be heard unless you buy a second-hand copy of the LP or the old, poorly remastered CD release.
Finally, I would note that the remastered GYPSY CD runs only 63 minutes, even with all the bonus tracks. So there would have been plenty of room for Shepard to have included his favorite "alternate" takes as an appendix -- i.e., giving the listener the option of programming the original take of "All I Need is the Girl" *or* the version Shepard prefers. Leaving off the correct take altogether is just a way of going back and rewriting the history of recording.
Whew. I'm sorry, BK, if I stole any of your thunder, but I wanted to get this off my chest.
Posted by Jaime J. Weinman @ 05/16/2002 07:21 AM PST

I dunno, Jaime
That's twice in one "day" that you have answered questions on ASK BK DAY -- I'd hate to see a new poster get bitchslapped, especially since they are free and in abundance on this site..
Posted by Craig @ 05/16/2002 09:20 AM PST

Jaime Weinman has a point about including the alternate takes on the CD for us to choose from, but I like hearing Louise on "All I Need It The Girl." The original cast album always bothered me because I couldn't picture how Louise fit into the number (until I saw the show, that it). Even a bit of a "squeal" makes it clearer to the listener. And, truthfully, there will never be a shortage of used copies of the original CD release (which sounds just fine to me).
Posted by Robert Armin @ 05/16/2002 09:46 AM PST

Ask BK: Got a question? Ask Bruce Kimmel...

© Copyright 2001-2003 Bruce Kimmel.
All Rights Reserved. Site design by hijinks design.