haines his way

05/30/2002:
"TUT AND PHUT"

Well, dear readers, it is still Wednesday, but I thought I’d get a head start on these here Thursday notes. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, I thought I’d get a head start – not a foot start, mind you, or even a hand start, no I thought I’d get a head start because there were so many of your excellent questions to answer. As you may have read, Mr. JMK had the solution to my Word problem, so I am back to writing these here notes in Word rather than Wordpad. I am so very happy not to be using that disgusting Wordpad. That Wordpad freaked me out, frankly, and it also franked me out, freakly. But let us not dwell on such matters, let us move on to greener pastures.
I have been checking out my test DVD of The First Nudie Musical, and all seems to work splendidly. I have scanned the film itself, and I have watched the documentary, but with the audio commentary on. I hadn’t heard the documentary audio commentary since the night we did it, and I must say I rather howled with laughter. It is very saucy and irreverent. Yes, Virginia, it is a very saucy commentary, rather like a Bernaise or perhaps an Alfredo. At times it was so saucy it was like an Alfredo Bernaise put together. If you haven’t ordered your DVD yet I would do so immediately because you don’t want to be without your saucy commentary. I looked at the cut scene, at the cut musical number (which, of course, doesn’t look very good having been transferred from Beta tape), I found the Easter Eggs, and I looked at the stills and poster gallery. All in all, I am very pleased with the result.
The other news I heard today was that I should have both hardcover and paperback test books in hand by next Wednesday. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too. All of these lovely things happening – and happening despite the occasional petty annoyances that occur every now and then. Aren’t petty annoyances annoying? Oh, well, we shan’t let those petty annoyances get to us, so tut and phut to those who would be petty and annoying. Yes, tut and phut I say and say loudly.
I feel we should all now say tut and phut together, in unison, because here at haineshisway.com we are all for one and one for all, we are united we Hainsies/Kimlets, we are a force to be reckoned with. On the count of three, let us all say tut and phut: One, two, three – Tut! Phut! There, that felt good, didn’t it? I feel that was a most excellent tut and phut – I have rarely heard better and I have been around the block, tut and phut-wise. Tut and Phut. They sound like Siamese twins, don’t they? Like Chang and Wang, or whoever the hell they were. What the hell am I talking about?
Well, I feel we should get to the questions, because there are a lot of them and I shall endeavor to be as long-winded as usual. So, let’s all say tut and phut as we click on the Unseemly Button below.

And now, let’s get directly to the excellent questions.
JMK has just seen Jacques Demy’s lovely film, The Young Girls of Rochefort and asks what are my favorite Michel Legrand songs. Well, I love the entirety of The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, and I love You Must Believe in Spring from Young Girls. I also love What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life, Summer of ’42, Windmills of Your Mind, Summer Me, Winter Me (The Picasso Summer), and just about everything else the man ever wrote. He is simply brilliant and unique.
Ben asks what I think of the recent announcement that Miss Bernadette Peters will be playing Rose in a revival of Gypsy? Well, I don’t think we especially need another revival of Gypsy, but I’ll reserve judgment until viewing it, because Miss Peters occasionally is very surprising. I don’t know that I feel she is tremendously right for it, but who knows – stranger things have happened. Tyne Daly, for example, who turned out to be a fine Mama Rose. Ben also asks what kind of computer I ended up buying. I ended up buying (with the help of our very own Susan Gordon and Craig Brockman) a Dell Inspiron 2650. It has everything I should need, plus I got a free memory upgrade and a DVD/CD thing. I asked the Dell people if I could get a free memory upgrade, too – you know, for me personally, but they seemed not to know what the hell I was talking about. And moments later I had forgotten what the hell I was talking about because frankly, at my age, I need a free memory upgrade.
Arnold M. Brockman asks two questions about the film classic, The Parent Trap. First Arnold asks if Hayley’s camp friend Betsy was indeed played by A Chorus Line’s Kay Cole. Yes, indeedy. Kay was also in Bye Bye Birdie and Stop the World way back then. Secondly, do I feel The Parent Trap would make a good musical? Well, if you could find real twins to do it on stage, perhaps. Or perhaps you could find two gals who looked enough alike to make it work. It’s already got three great songs, so I’m sure the Sherman Brothers could whip up a few more. We do love the Sherman Brothers and since someone came to the site recently and searched for the Sherman Brothers, I thought I’d type their names a few times so they could find some more “hits”. I aim to please. Arnold also asks what is my favorite Shakespearean play? For no reason really, A Comedy of Errors. Chekhovian play? Star Trek IV. Verdi opera? I like Puccini. What is my favorite Wagner opera? Tristan und Isolde. What is my feeling about Gilbert and Sullivan? I like ‘em, but in small doses.
Craig, as usual, has a plethora of questions. First, what is my opinion of the old show Dark Shadows. I have no opinion, as I’ve never seen an episode of it. Do I have it on DVD? Not yet, but if you recommend it I might just have to get it. Did I ever watch the “new” Dark Shadows? I have never seen any Dark Shadows except that occasionally a dark shadow will show up at my front door, in which case I say rather loudly, tut and phut. Have I seen our very own Susan Egan and Jason Graae in High Button Shoes? Not yet, but I will be very soon and I shall have a full report. What are some of my favorite Broadway duets? Well, I don’t want to start long lists, but I do adore I’m Past My Prime from Li’l Abner and What Takes My Fancy from Wildcat, and My Heart Is So Full of You from The Most Happy Fella. What are some of my favorite Broadway love songs. I’ll list just one – Love, Look Away, although it is bittersweet, I just think it’s one of the greats. What are my favorite Broadway hate songs? I Hate Men is pretty good. Are there still plans for a Meltz and Ernest CD. Well, there are several interesting things in the works for Meltz and Ernest and I shall have more details soon. When did I find out about the tooth fairy and Santa Claus? When I was a mere sprig of a twig of a sprout of a lad. I still believe in both. The tooth fairy used to leave me one dollar and an original cast album. Did I ever own a pet rock? No, but I owned a pet bush once. What was a prized possession of my childhood? Order Benjamin Kritzer and all will be answered. Have the Wechters and I ever played any fun board games like Taboo or Gestures? We did do that thing where you draw – what is that game called? We have also played Scrabble, my favorite game. Finally, what was/is the last known song recorded of Meltz and Ernest. Their very late in life masterpiece, The Goyim of Greece.
Laura tells me she just bought two count them two CDs, both produced by me. She asks if I can give a breakdown of where the money goes? For a solo CD and for a compilation CD. If we’re talking about the budget, it all goes to the same place – the musicians, orchestrators, musical directors, engineer, studio, mastering studio, singers, etc. If you’re talking about where your purchase price goes, some of it goes to the manufacturing, some to the distributor, some to the label (if different than the distributor), and virtually none to the artist until the album recoups, which is usually on the 12th of Never.
Td has several questions: First he asks what I think of the following vocalists – Doris Day, Janis Ian and Jennifer Warnes, to which I answer, what’s not to like? Do I have a favorite Doris Day song? But, of course, and if you order my very own novel from this here website you will find out what in tarnation it is. If you look at the cover of the book, however, you might just be able to figure it out. I have always enjoyed Miss Janis Ian and I certainly like Miss Jennifer Warnes’s voice.
Sushi Tomoto asks if there is any chance that my cut of The Creature Wasn’t Nice will ever see the light of day? Only if you view it at my home. The negative was recut, and the only print of my cut was destroyed. I do have it on three-quarter inch tape, which I had transferred to DVD, so at least it exists in that form.
Lolita, light of my life, fire of my sirloins, asks what my favorite incarnation of The Shop Around the Corner is, and what do I think of You’ve Got Mail? Well, my favorite incarnation is She Loves Me, with the original film coming in second, You’ve Got Mail, coming in third and In the Good Old Summertime coming in last. I guess I’m in the minority, but I didn’t hate You’ve Got Mail – didn’t love it either, but it passed the time pleasantly. What do I think of Nora Ephron in general? I don’t know that I’ve ever thought of Nora Ephron in general or even in lieutenant or corporal. How do I feel about the stuffy English dramas such as Remains of the Day, Sense and Sensibility and Howard’s End. Does the fact that I have seen none of those films tell you anything? Next, did I decorate my very own home and how is it decorated? Yes, I did decorate my very own home, and it is decorated in a style I like to call Early Eclectic. Every room is different and there is no sense or sensibility in evidence, at least that I can see. Where do I like to dine in New York other than Joe Allen? There are several wonderful restaurants I’ve eaten at but I never remember their names. I do remember loving the fish at the Manhattan Ocean Club and I also remember loving a restaurant called Bice.
Tom from Oz asks what I think of the film musical, Bugsy Malone. I’ve only seen a bit of it – it’s coming to DVD so I’ll finally see all of it then. I did think what I saw was very strange indeed. Tom asks if I’ve seen Miss Jodie Foster (star of Bugsy Malone) in The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane? Yes, I have, and I’m quite partial to the film actually.
Adrienne Holister also recently watched Mr. Jacques Demy’s The Young Girls of Rochefort and asks if I know the name of the first song that Catherine Deneuve and sister Francois Dorleac sing. Yes, I believe I do – it’s called Chanson du Jumelles in French, and A Pair of Twins in English. Adrienne also mentions the scene in the café where everyone talks in rhyme and asks if there was a reason for it. I’m sure Mr. Demy thought it poetic and interesting, but I don’t know that for a fact.
William F. Orr assumes that since Guy Haines doesn’t know from songs, that I am the one who picked the songs on his album – can I give some insight into how I chose them and how I structured the album? I can try. Guy said he would love to sing the songs that I loved, and so he allowed me to pick them all. Certain things were a given, like Pick Yourself Up, a real favorite, She Likes Basketball, but others were just chosen because, even though they might seem like odd choices, they were just things I wanted to hear Guy sings – things like Terminal, Marie, Here You Come Again. Todd Ellison sent us his original song, written specially for Mr. Haines, which we both loved. Two Lost Souls seemed perfect for Guy and Susan Egan, plus I had that arrangement of it in my head for years. You Must Believe In Spring was a last-minute replacement for Here’s That Rainy Day, a track that neither Guy or I really thought had come out well enough. Funnily, You Must Believe in Spring turned out to be one of my favorite tracks on the album. The Shelly Markham song seemed right as a closer, plus it was new, and we both just liked the sentiment. As to the sequencing of it, I just tried to keep it surprising and interesting and always building to something new.
Kerry tells me that he subscribed to a magazine I’d recommended, Illustration Magazine. In the latest issue he saw my very own painting by Robert Maguire featured in an article on that great artist. The painting was used for a Dell paperback (as opposed to a Dell computer) entitled Dead, Man, Dead. Kerry thought the painting stunning (I agree wholeheartedly) and asks if I also have a copy of the actual paperback. Yes, the copy of the book that’s pictured in the magazine is also mine. That’s part of the fun of illustration art – getting the book or magazine it was featured in and displaying them together. Kerry asks what other paintings I own. Well, I’ve owned quite a few in the past few years, some of which I still have, some of which I’ve traded away, and some of which I’ve sold. I have had a couple of terrific Saturday Evening Post covers, one by J.C. Leyendecker (I was offered so much money for it that I simply couldn’t turn it down) and one by John Clymer. I still have many wonderful paintings – one by the great Dean Cornwell, a great Victor Olson Coronet cover, several other paperback book covers (my favorites) including a wonderful one for a Lesbian paperback called The Odd Kind. I have a beautiful Gene Pressler painting used for a 1919 Printzess clothing catalog, I have several paintings used for magazine interiors, I have two great cover paintings used for a magazine called Country Gentleman, one from the 30s and one from the 50s. I love art, especially illustration art. Kerry asks which one painting I would like to own – I’ll keep it to illustration art and just say any of the Saturday Evening Post covers by the brilliant Norman Rockwell. It just doesn’t get better than that, in my opinion (IMO, in Internet lingo). Next, Kerry asks when I produce an album do I choose the performer first and then the subject matter or songs, or do I sometimes choose the subject matter and then the performer. Usually it’s the performer – we then talk about lots of things and, if it’s going to be a composer tribute, we figure out who we like and who we think will be interesting. That’s how we arrived at the Jason Graae does Charles Strouse album, just a good match. Rebecca Luker and I thought she’d do marvelously with Cole Porter and damned if she didn’t. But sometimes I have the concept first – such as A Broadway Love Story, and in that case, I cast the performer to the project. Also, have I ever had a project or song in mind and then had to use someone else for some reason? Sure – things happen. On the Stephen Schwartz Album, Judy Kuhn was originally going to sing Meadowlark – but Judy is one of those singers who can only function if she’s in the room when it’s being recorded, so she can “breathe” with the orchestra (or piano, or whatever). That’s perfectly valid, but impossible when the singer is on the East Coast and the band on the West Coast. We tried to record it according to the way she rehearsed it – Todd Ellison took metronome markings for all the rubato sections (I’d wanted to have a whole different feel for the opening of the song – unlike any other recording that I knew of – so we slowed it down at the beginning and did it rubato). Unfortunately, when Judy heard the track she simply didn’t feel she could sing to it, so I called Susan Egan, who got a tape, learned it in two days and came in and blew the roof off the studio. Just a brilliant vocal. On that very same album I had cast Alet Oury to do Beautiful City/Day By Day. But Alet got sick and couldn’t sing, so I called Laura Benanti and she, too, got a tape, learned the song in a day, and came in and did a great job.
Michael Shayne mentions my talking about how important I think opening numbers are to establish the type of show one is seeing and to set mood, place and feel (I used It’s a Typical Day as an example of a perfect opening number). Michael asks if there are other types of songs that are important in writing a musical, such as the Act One finale or the 11:00 number. Well, I think all the songs in a musical are important, and they should all perform a function of some sort, be it revealing character, moving forward the plot, or whatever. Ends of Act One don’t necessarily need to be songs but they do need to make you want to come back to see the rest of the show. It has become standard to have an “I want” song for the leading character – a song which states what the character wants and hopes and yearns for (a perfect example is Just Around the Riverbend). Michael also asked several questions about opening a cabaret nightclub in Boca Raton. For example, do you pay the performer, do you pay the performer’s airfare and hotel, do you pay the piano player and other musicians and do the performers get a stipend during their stay. I’m sure every nightclub is different. I can tell you, for example, how the Gardenia works here in Los Angeles. I’ve played there many times throughout the 80s. The club paid for nothing. The performer gets the cover charge (in my case I think the cover was fifteen bucks – for Nancy Dussault the other night, it was twenty bucks). So if you had fifty people at twenty bucks you’d make $1,000.00. Out of that, the performer pays the musicians and any other act expenses. The club gets the two drink minimum and the dinner charge. I think the Cinegrill was different however. I think the performers there got some kind of guarantee. I don’t know that they paid people’s airfares, however, but because the club was located in a hotel, they did put them up. I’ll ask Jason Graae this question in his upcoming interview.
Jaime J. Weinman asks if I’ve heard the brand spanking new CD release of Li’l Abner yet. No, I shall be buying it tomorrow and believe me I will have a full report the following day.
Hapgood asks what my opinion of 1776 is. I saw it on Broadway the month it opened and I absolutely loved every minute of it. The production was perfection, as was the cast. Just a great evening of theater. Hapgood also asks if I’ve ever been to Cleveland and if so what did I think? I was in Cleveland for several days back in 1966 and stayed in a hotel on whatever the main street is. I remember seeing The Sand Pebbles and The Bible there, at big 70mm movie theaters. I also remember trying to see Dionne Warkwick and an unknown comedian called Flip Wilson at a place called Leo’s Casino. But Dionne got sick and the show was cancelled. Hapgood asks if I’ve always lived in Southern California. Yes, born and raised in Los Angeles. Have I seen Barbara Cook’s Sondheim, Etc. concert? No, but I’d like to. Next, will dear reader Lolita ever see her musical revived? Doubtful, although I’d pay to see it. Finally, do I have any plans to return to record producing? Well, I’m certain I do, and I’m certain there will be things to announce some day soon, so stay tuned, and that includes you lurkers and searchers out there in the dark.
Sandra asks if I have any interesting ancestors in my family tree? Yes, one – Sir John of Kimmel, who was an inveterate gambler and horse fancier. Unfortunately, he fancied the horses in a way that none of us would rather think about. Sir John of Kimmel was also the noted inventor of the bedpan.
Ron Pulliam found a quote by Walter Kerr from 1968: “A serious and composed young actress who won’t let a line pass without making certain she’s had it in for a private talk and perhaps tea.” Can I guess the identity of the actress? Patty Duke? I have no idea really. Ron also asks if I have and adore the DVD of the Sherman Brothers musical, The Slipper and the Rose. I have and I do.
S. Woody White asks how I define regional theater? I define regional theater as theater which takes place in a region. What do I see as regional theater’s greatest advantages? The performing of new plays, which Broadway seems very loathe to do much of these days. Do I think that New York can have regional theater? Well, it is a region, so I suppose so.
Freedunit sent me the Proust questionnaire, which is sort of like that thing that James Lipton does, that Bernard Tivo thing. I’ll do as many as I can before I fall asleep.
What do you consider your greatest achievement? I would like to think the greatest achievement is still to come, but I’m very proud of having made 130 albums and especially because some of those albums have introduced young folks to music they might not otherwise have known. I’m also very proud of my novel. However, my greatest achievement thus far would have to be my beautiful daughter, Jennifer.
What is your idea of perfect happiness? Spooning on the couch with someone you’re totally comfortable with, watching a movie.
What is your current state of mind? Interesting question, much too difficult to answer right now. Let us just say that currently I am on an incredible rollercoaster ride – some of which is grand fun and some of which is filled with petty annoyances to which I say both tut and phut, not necessarily in that order.
What is your favorite occupation? Again, hard to answer, because I do love doing a variety of things. However, if I must, I would say that I have received much happiness producing 130 albums over the last seven or eight years. I have worked with such incredibly wonderful artists – well, it’s a blessing really. I also had an incredibly wonderful time writing the book.
What is your most treasured possession? Wow. My brain? Oh, if we’re just talking actual items here, I would say I’d have to rank the painting that graces the cover of my book. It was done by Harvey Schmidt because I asked him to do it, and it is beyond beautiful – it transports me back to a time that I remember with much fondness.
What or who is the greatest love of your life? Again, for now, my daughter.
What is your favorite journey? The journey to artistic and financial success.
What is your most marked characteristic? My curiosity and my tenacity.
When and where were you the most happiest? Jeez, these are hard. Who the hell is this Proust anyway? As a child growing up, I was always incredibly happy in a movie theater. It’s what I lived for, really.
What is it that you most dislike? Petty, evil people. People who cause grief to others, especially people who get off on causing grief to others.
What is your greatest fear? Not having terra firma beneath my feet.
What is your greatest extravagance? I guess purchasing DVDs, CDs, art, and books.
What living person do you most despise? Loaded question. I’ll take the 5th.
What is your greatest regret? Not having acted on Broadway.
What talent would you most like to have? The talent to paint.
Where would you like to live? If given my druthers, I’d like to have a house in Los Angeles with a magnificent city view, and I’d like to have a penthouse in Manhattan with a magnificent city view.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Being tormented by evil.
What is the quality you most like in a man? I don’t like men very much, there are only a handful of decent ones, you know. I like honesty, humor and non-macho behavior.
What is the quality you most like in a woman? Honesty, humor, warmth and the ability to spoon on the couch like so much fish.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? My sometimes blind trust that I put in people who don’t really deserve it.
What is the trait you most deplore in others? Deceit, dishonesty and bad faith.
What do you most value in your friends? One word: Loyalty.
Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Atticus Finch. Honest, real, and forthright and a wonderful character.
Who are your heroes in real life? Those who enrich the lives of others – those who open the doors of possibility to the young. Man, I’m starting to sound like some New Age Putz, aren’t I?
Which living person do you most admire? Much too hard. I admire so many people. I tend to gravitate towards artists, admiration-wise, so let’s just say Mr. Sondheim, Mr. Schmidt, Mr. Walton and so many others.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue? I don’t feel any virtue is overrated.
On what occasions do you lie? Sometimes, very infrequently, I will be less than forthright if I didn’t like a performer or if I see the writers of a show I didn’t love and they ask me what I thought.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Like so much fish, what is it, fish?, well, dear readers, and every other sentence in every BK’s Notes.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I would like to be more patient.
What are your favorite names? Rebecca, Rachel, Lily, Sophie, Susan. Funny, all female names.
How would you like to die? Quickly and painlessly.
If you were to die (this is getting awfully morbid) and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? Funnily, I would want to come back as me.
What is your motto? There is a wonderful line in Sam Peckinpah’s film, Ride The High Country, spoken by Joel McCrea: All I want to do is enter my house justified. That’s as good a motto as any, I suppose.
Can you believe I just answered the entire Proust questionnaire? I hope some of the answers make sense, and I’m not going to look back and see what I wrote – I shall just post and be done with it.
Well, that was a plethora of posers, wasn’t it? I hope some of my answers suited your various and sundried fancies. If not, you may simply say tut and phut and be done with it.
Today’s topic of discussion: Who are your favorite cabaret performers? You start, because frankly I’m sick of listening to myself type. I’ll join in later today.

Replies: 38 Unseemly Comments

These are the people I have seen live over the years.
Lee Lessack
David Campbell
Barbara Cook
Joan Ryan
Sharon McKnight
Sally Mayes
Craig Rubano
Betty Buckley
and they are all fantastic. It was an honor to have seen Barbara Cook live. Lee Lessack is an incredible singer and performer and have flown to NYC just to see him perform and arranged my trip to LA so I could see him at the Cinegrill.
I still would love to see Julie Wilson, Bobby Short, Rosemary Clooney, Andrea Marcovicci
I would have loved to have seen
Nancy LaMott and Laurie Beechman
I look forward to seeing:
Liz Callaway, Maureen McGovern, Kevin Koelbl and all the others who are Cabaret singers in my collection who I have never seen perform live.
Then currectly I have 310 vocal CDs as part of my collection (Not including Bruce's and Ben Bagley's albums that have their rep company of singers.)
Out of those there are 204 different singers (Solos and few duets)20 are compilations of various singers or groups.
Out of those an incredible amound are cabaret singers.I have bought, many, after listening to clips from their albums or just taking a chance after deciding ttheir program is either different, eclectic or has songs that are rare and would love to hear. I have not been disappointed.
The singers I play the most are Nancy LaMott, Laurie Beechman, Lee Lessack, Kevin Koelbl, Liz Callaway, Sally Mayes, Michelle Nicastro, Emily Skinner & Alice Ripley (their Duet albums and solo that Bruce produced) and Kathie Lee Gifford's Born For You. (Thanks largly to the imput of David Friedman who help guide Nancy LaMott's career.) Their voices are special to me and they get me through the good times and bum times.
When I want to laugh or need a good laugh: Jason Graae and lee Lucas, Fred Barton (Miss Gulch Returns)
These are some that come to mind this early Thursday AM
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 05/30/2002 03:27 AM PST

My list of favorite cabaret performers
Barbara Cook (I have seen her a few times including the 1980 Carnegie Hall concert and I will be seeing Mostly Sondheim at Lincoln Center this July).
Mary Foster Conklin (someone I used to take class with in NYC. She moved over to the cabaret world and is as good a singer as she was/is an actress, so involved and intelligent and witty. She has two CDs both available on-line or at Footlight Records).
Liz Callaway and her "taller" sister Ann Hampton Callaway (love the Sibling Revelry CD).
Bobby Short (when you're 14 years old and living in Coon Rapids, MN, dreaming of even Minneapolis, let alone NYC, Bobby Short provides another view of the world).
Michael Feinstein (his attention to detail and his extensive knowledge of music is wonderful).
Karen Akers (she is one of the reasons I love the OCR of Nine).
Like Michael Shayne, I wish I could have seen both Nancy LaMott and Laurie Beechman.
Posted by Ben @ 05/30/2002 04:59 AM PST

Mr. K.,
I recalled that when you purchased Robert Maguire's painting for Dead, Man, Dead you spoke of it in your Real A column, and by gum I was right. In column #95, dated 23 August 1999, you said you would post a copy of the picture in your next column.
In the following column there was a picture of Mr. Mark Bakalor sitting on your couch like so much fish, but no Dead, Man, Dead.
So I searched and in column #103 dated 7 February 2000 I found several of your other acquisitions, but not the painting in question. Yet I do remember your posting it. Any idea where?
On to cabaret. Well, in my misspent youth I haunted cabarets a lot and saw many performers in New York venues, most of whom were personal friends or friends' friends or all the neighbors' neighbors and were just starting out trying to make it but never did.
Along the way I met an unknown performer named Karen Akers who was eager to do a certain lyric I wrote "in a year or so" but never did. Be that as it may, I have caught her act several times in subsequent years, and I think she and Amanda McBroom are my very favorites.
I don't know if Mel Torme would be called a "cabaret performer", but my Joe and I saw him in an outdoor concert a few months before he passed away, and he was incredible, just incredible, not only in his talent but in the warmth he generated with the audience.
Of course, there are scores of cabaret performers I know only from recordings but have never seen. I think Bobby Short is the one I would most like to see. The former chairman of my former department here at Hofstra used to catch him at the Carlyle every year without fail, but I never did join him and his wife.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 05/30/2002 05:44 AM PST

I have seen exactly zero cabaret. But of the concert/cabaret cds that I have, my favorite is Barbara Cook. I could listen to her voice all the live long day and also all the dead short evening. She's coming to the Kennedy Center in DC this summer and hopefully I shall be there to wail and scream and cheer and cavort like she is Elvis or some other such person.
And by the way, how lovely to find surprise brand new notes at nine o'clock in the morning.
Posted by Lolita @ 05/30/2002 06:39 AM PST

PS-
Thank you so much JMK!! My mom's computer, which used to be MY computer, was having the same problems as Bruce's was. Now all is well and well is all.
:)
Posted by Lolita @ 05/30/2002 06:45 AM PST

Some of my favorite traditional cabaret experiences:
Karen Akers
Eartha Kitt
Tommy Femia
Randy Roberts
and if you count size of room (intimate) more than type of music sung (current cabaret seems to rely heavily on show music and standards) than I would also add:
Miss Nancy Wilson (I wish she would return to Blues Alley DC!)
Rene Marie (one of the most amazingly talented jazz artists I have ever seen perform -- RUN to see her, or discover her on CD)
Posted by Philip Crosby @ 05/30/2002 07:29 AM PST

And an additional cabaret favorite I just thought of:
Dixie Carter. The woman can work a room.
Posted by Philip Crosby @ 05/30/2002 07:30 AM PST

BK -- would you be able to personalize the copies of Benjamin Kritzer if we order them online?
Posted by Laura @ 05/30/2002 07:55 AM PST

Can we ever have a column 204?
Posted by Paul Fairie @ 05/30/2002 08:21 AM PST

WHAT A COLUMN!
BK outdid himself today, he did.
First: In my ramblings yesterday, I gave out a huge clue about an actress I admired in the early 70s who disappeared -- Catherine Burns. It is she who is on record as having been described so uniquely by Walter Kerr.
Second: "Room With A View," "Howards End," "Remains of the Day," "Sense and Sensibility" -- STUFFY? Really? Do any of you find these films "stuffy"? I've loved each of them and thought them wonderfully refreshing. It's a miracle, actually, that they were made as well as they were, so true to their sources and so brilliantly acted and presented. "A Room With A View" is one of the finest films I've ever seen. And it's enormously funny. Moving from Venice -- where something awful happens -- to rural England, the film manages to capture time and place in such a way as to make you feel you are there. And this is the film that made such inspired use of "O Mio Babbino Caro"!
"Sense and Sensibility" has as its chief treasure one of the most extraordinary performances by an actress ever committed to film. The denouement scene between Emma Thompson and Hugh Grant is a miracle.
"Remains of the Day" -- stunning! Words fail me when trying to describe this film. Anthony Hopkins' character is so real and so linked to his station in life and the house under his charge -- it's probably inconceivable (think Wallace Shawn's delivery of that word -- inconceivable) to most Americans that anyone would resign himself to being the best butler he could with no aspirations of a higher nature.
As for "Howard's End" -- One of the truly great films of our time, IMO. HUGE performances and wonderful characters and totally involving situations.
Am I alone on this group in feeling so strongly POSITIVE about these films?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 05/30/2002 08:42 AM PST

I didn't mean to hit the "Post" button.
At any rate, these films came out in different years. They came out amidst huge special effects extravaganzas, huge so-so star vehicles of both dramatic and comedic persuasion, and a vast assortment of trashy, ill-conceived films.
IMO, these films stood apart as the finest of their years. Not the most popular. Not the huge award winners. But definitely the cream of the crop in terms of taste, production, intelligence and pure-tee STYLE!
I think that difference can be attributed to the team of film makers who committed themselves to these projects without regard for "suit" opinions....those opinions that warp 95% of the films that hit theaters and rush to video.
CABARET:
I took a chance and entered one -- actually a cafe -- in Georgetown in the late 1970s.
What attracted my attention was that the featured singer was the same person who starred in "The Music Man" and "She Loves Me." And Barbara Cook became a lifelong passion. Not an obsession. I've not seen her since. But seeing her then made all the difference in how my musical tastes progressed.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 05/30/2002 08:52 AM PST

I am very glad to have helped one and all (and all and one) with their various Word problems.
BK--you said your "CD thing" wouldn't open. I had the same problem last week, which was prefaced by my 5 year old son screaming about his 3 year old brother, "Dad--Zach did something REALLY bad this time." (You know you're in for a ride when that phrase echoes through the halls). In going back to the office, my 3 year old was standing next to the computer, pointing at the CD-ROM drive, and at my entrance he proudly proclaimed, "I put TWO in there!" So of course the drive was completely jammed shut. It took a knife, pliers and an Act of God to get the damned thing open again. It turns out he had stuck the Disney Magic Artist (which has Mickey prominently displayed) in with the Star Wars CD-ROM, because, in that inscrutable logic that makes kids so wonderful, he had decided that that way Mickey would be IN Star Wars. Do I have something to worry about with their teen years a mere decade away? :)
Posted by JMK @ 05/30/2002 09:17 AM PST

Wow, did I sleep late (of course, I was up till three in the morning slaving over your hot questions. I have no idea what I answered, but I hope it's okay.
Laura - yes, I thought I'd said that - of course I will personalize and all copies of Benjamin Kritzer however folks would like them personalized. Just include that information in the paypal box, or e-mail me seperately.
As to my favorite cabaret performers - when I was a mere twig of a sprig of a tad of a youth I saw a woman named Martha Schlamme, who was unbelievably great. I also adore Liz C. and Jason G. I liked Rosie Clooney a lot when I saw her at Rainbow and Stars.
Posted by bk @ 05/30/2002 10:19 AM PST

I know a bitch-slap is just waiting for me, and this may be verging on mutiny, but I do not like having to click on the Unseemly Button to get here. No I do not. I don like the Unseemly Button. I do not like it with a goat. I do not like it in a boat.
On the other hand, I guess I can live with it.
Posted by Kerry @ 05/30/2002 10:28 AM PST

"Que Sera, Sera" is your favorite Doris Day song? It's a wonderful philosophy, but she did so many great songs. She is an extaordinary vocalist. I think you need more Doris Day in your life. You'll see what I mean.
Posted by Kerry @ 05/30/2002 10:34 AM PST

I wouold have to say Peggy Lee. She had a way of mesmerizing the entire room. I think it may have actually been mass hypnosis. I got to see her rather late in her career, but she had you believing that she was dancing around, hitting the high notes, still young and sexy. And she was still young and sexy. It was, in one word-- enchanting.
I have also seen Rosemary Clooney a few times (in different types of venues) and it is wonderful.
I love the idea of cabaret, the intimacy, almost everything about it. So, even the amateur stuff I've seen has been special for me.
I would love to see jason Graae and Liz Callaway. There is a Cabaret Immersion Weekend in Chicago in August. Liz and Ann Hampton will be doing their act. Also Mary Cleere Haran will be working with Bobby Short. I'd love to see those (but most likely will not get to).
Peter Mintun (who was from San Francisco and later played at the Bemelman's Bar at the Carlyle) is wonderful. I would love to see him in a true cabaret or concert setting rather than a bar. he's currently plyaing at the Greenbriar in whichever Carolina it's in. So if you're there, catch him.
I also want to see Tommmy Femia's act and Lee Lucas'. Michael Shayne (our very own) did a review of best cabaret (I believe) CD's on amazon. Some of the CD's I had, but after reading his review of Lee Lucas, I ordered that one too. Maybe I could just move from Phoenix to the Cinegrill. I could get a cot for me and just stay there.
Posted by Kerry @ 05/30/2002 10:45 AM PST

Do pianists count as cabaret performers? I know Feinstein does, but he also sings.
I've had the pleasure of kicking back and listening to Doug Montgomery at the piano in Vanessie's of Santa Fe, NM several times.
It's an incredible experience. I've never had the nerve (yet) to stand up and sing, but several wonderful folks have, including members of the Santa Fe Opera Company who drop by after rehearsals, etc.
It's a wonderful place, Vanessie's!
Anyone else know it or Doug?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 05/30/2002 11:35 AM PST

Oh yes, Bruce, I did see Martha Schlamme doing her all-Kurt-Weill program at Caltech when I was an undergrad.
And Andrea Marcovicci--loved her a couple of years ago at the Algonquin.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 05/30/2002 11:48 AM PST

OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!
What wonderful answers to all our questions. We don't usually say this back to Bruce, but THANK YOU for answering anything we've ever wanted to know.
So why the Happy Day? Li'l Abner, the CBS Masterworks rerelease is currently playing in the background. I am so excited to be hearing this right now I could do a pudding dance of joy.. in fact, be right back
(time elapses)
I am back, and "Typical Day" is on. I began writing the moment the overture came on. I find in interesting that Ken M. spoke so highly about this rerelase and coincidently (or not so) he wrote the liner notes.
I'll pop on later after I have finished listening to this ear candy. Later!
Posted by Craig @ 05/30/2002 12:03 PM PST

Ron Pulliam:
I didn't mean stuffy in a negative way. Perhaps stuffy is the wrong word. I absolutely love those films. But I was refering to the politeness in them, I guess. The character of Stevens in Remains of the Day is really too polite for words. So socially dominated, etc, etc. Anyway, I love them all and have them on DVD and have watched them over and over and over again.
:)
Posted by Lolita @ 05/30/2002 12:46 PM PST

Ron,
Well, these days to some a "stuffy" film would be one that doesn't have either a violent explosion or a sexual explitive every five minutes.
Shall we say... genteel?
My Joe and I just watched The Tailor of Panama last night, and though it was much randier than its precursor Our Man in Havana, we almost switched it off midway because it was so slow-moving. After that we were on the edge of our seats every minute.
I think we have been spoiled by films that have to be so immediately in your face that we can't sit still for leisurely story-telling.
Personally I loved Remains of the Day and Shadowlands.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 05/30/2002 12:58 PM PST

Lolita...William...thanks for the clarification. Everytime I see "stuffy" used outside of association with allergies or colds, it's nearly always in association with "pretentiousness." Which is why I was aghast, agape and practically agog. I'm glad you guys love these films...apparently as much, if not more than, I.
Change of topic:
Are there any fans of the Slayer in our getting-bigger-every-day family?
Another change of topic:
Ten years ago, I found "Lil Abner" on VHS in stereo and have it still. What I never learned was whether it had ever been issued on laserdisc. Anyone know if it was? And...anyone know if it is currently being slated for release on DVD?
Speaking of "1776" -- I love this musical with every fiber, etc., etc., etc. In the past six months, I bid on and won the Pioneer Special Edition laserdisc of the film with the added (but not corrected) footage, including "Cool, Cool Considerate Men" and the commentary with LD producer Joe Caporiccio and Peter Hunt.
I now understand that the extra footage has been found and/or corrected for inclusion in a DVD, but that Mr. Hunt has decided he will not present the title in as complete a form as before -- that despite his on-record approval of the LD release, he now says he never liked the LD. Apparently the overture is being dropped and all the extras aren't going to be added.
Anyone know more about this????
It's HEINOUS!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 05/30/2002 01:56 PM PST

Favorite cabaret acts? Well, I've seen the fabulous Mr. Jason Graae three times now (not counting each and every performance of Promises, Promises), and loved him each and every time--as well he knows.
I also loved Bobby Short when I saw him; Charles Aznavour (once by himself, and once with Jane Olivor as his opening act--talk about PATHOS!), and Andrea Marcovicci (several times, several programs).
And a very special favorite is the seldom-touring Dave Frishberg, who I saw in a room so small I was practically sitting on the piano bench next to him.
This delurking is getting to be fun...
Posted by Pam @ 05/30/2002 02:18 PM PST

Interesting you should ask about cabaret singers just as I am about to work with so many of them (Craig Rubano, Sharon McNight, Tom Andersen, Barbara Fasano and Liz Callaway, among others) at Town Hall. And I directed Sally Mayes in a reading a few weeks ago.
In addition to the obvious choices (Barbara Cook, Rosemary Clooney, etc.) I especially enjoyed listening to the late Anthony Newley and (believe it or not) Tiny Tim, when he performed at La Maganette in New York City. Poor Miss Vicki was making her show biz debut "performing" with him. Does anyone know what has become of Miss Vicki?
Posted by Robert Armin @ 05/30/2002 02:20 PM PST

Barbara Cook's performance here in Melbourne a few years ago (Basically The Barbara Cook In London CD) was wonderful. It was videod and shown here on local TV. I don't know whether the video is available worldwide. (recorded on the PAL system here). I love most of Ms Cook's work on Cd but was somewhat disappointed in the Sondheim album. I really like the Bernadette Peters album os similar material (and usually it is her work that disappoints!)
I would love to see Karen Akers. On video and Cd she is wonderful. Who could not wish to see David Campbell?
Not quite Cabaret but I found England's Tommy Steele and Cilla Black to be wonderful charasmitic performers. Worst in Concert I have seen was Dionne Warwick and I love her recorded work.
I still treasure a video of Peggy Lee. What a talent. Liked Mel Torme too but his must be one of the worst versions of "Send In The Clowns" ever recorded.
Posted by Tom from OZ @ 05/30/2002 03:02 PM PST

Donald!
As usual, great radio show. I must now ask, is it now protocol to have at least one phone call interrupt the show? Too funny!
Posted by Craig @ 05/30/2002 05:42 PM PST

Well, since your fantastic
cabaret singers hardly make it
to France -- I remember
Barbara Cook singing here in
Paris in the early eighties, but
then I was not living in Paris --
I moved to your country and
saw some live and/or on tv.
I think Steve & Eydie are
terrific. Rosemary -- who's
recovering from a lung surgery
at her home... Let's have a
thought for that sweet lady --
was always a joy, every year
when she was performing for
a week in the summer ( three
times a night ) with the All
American College Orchestra at
Epcot (then Center) in Florida.
She puts so much feeling into
her singing.
Maureen McGovern singing up
a storm, on the very same
stage in the sweltering heat (
Florida, folks, and an open air
stage )... Carol Lawrence,
same place, even doing some
nice tap routing. Great, just
great.
And, yes, my all time favorite,
Mr Mel Tormé, a wonderful
singer who knew how to reach
out and was so appreciative
and supportive of others'
talents too.....
You are so lucky to have so
many talented entertainers
over there, and I'm not talking
about Mr George W. Bouche. (
wink ).
Bruce, the sauce is bearnaise
(from Bearn, a region near the
Pyrenees) and the gentleman
who used to have a show on
French Tv is Bernard Pivot.
You did very well with Proust
questionnaire, but ALL the
questions from it weren't
asked... lucky you.
Two I remember;
what is your favorite swear?
when you die, what question
would you like God ask you?
Now, speaking of Mr Lipton, I
recently saw his show with Mr
Sondheim as his guest -- yes,
we do get those shows on
French TV -- and one of the
two singers was our own Liz
Callaway. I was in heaven....
BTW, I'm going back there!
TTFN;
Posted by Francois @ 05/30/2002 06:08 PM PST

NANCY LaMOTT -Perfectly wonderful.It is a shame that many of her unreleased recordings are in some kind of time warp because of legal problems.
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 05/30/2002 07:23 PM PST

I just got the DVD of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and the only functional DVD player I have is in my computer at work. So I've been catching it in bits and pieces in between grading finals.
Among the cut scenes is one in which Hedwig and her agent (played by Andrea Martin) try to sneak into Tommy Gnosis' hotel suite dressed as maids--and then you see them flying out a back door into a pile of garbage. On the commentary track, John Cameron Mitchell describes it as "My Leverne and Shirley moment." He also speaks of the influence of Fosse in his film version.
Also surprising is an interview with Mitchell's mother and father (who was the General in charge of the American troops in Berlin under Regan) and seeing how proud they seem to be that their son has become famous for a punk glam drag rock musical.
------------------------------------------
Hi Pam! Remember me? Please keep delurking. I know you have much to add to the profundity and disjointed levity here.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 05/30/2002 07:54 PM PST

"Sushi Tomoto asks if there is any chance that my cut of The Creature Wasn’t Nice will ever see the light of day? Only if you view it at my home."
Why thank you, Bruce Kimmel San. I will consider that an open invitation, and I will make sure to stop by next time I am in the States--the filming of Butterfly's Revenge begins next summer.
I don't require much, so don't put yourself out. My entourage can surely make do elsewhere. You do have a couch, don't you?
As ever,
Your Sushi
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 05/30/2002 08:36 PM PST

Oops! I believe I meant a different Pam. I'm so bad with last names. Or in the case of the Chinese, first names.
As Emily Latella would say, "Never mind." Except the part about delurking, etc. Always room here for another Pam.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 05/30/2002 09:16 PM PST

Thank you for completing the complete Proust Questionnaire. I find it a fascinating exercise.
I wonder is moreso phut or tut uncommon? I like it saucy, too, and not merely Hollandaise. I’ve got style. I do it Bordelaise…
I just spoke to Santa Claus and Tooth Fairy and they want to know what you mean by still believe.
I think a great revival of Gypsy is always in order. I understand Arthur Laurents’ reasons for casting Bernadette Peters—he told me, “It’s the little kewpie doll who can be the real killer”—but I would love to see Patti LuPone as Rose on Broadway. And if not LuPone, either Stefanie Powers or Michele Lee. If not Gypsy, maybe one of them will agree to do Mame.
Nobody asked me, of course, but I really like 1776, and I was a big fan of the original series Dark Shadows. Oh, how I looked forward to Dark Shadows! I thought it was so cool. And I loved Bugsy Malone when I saw it as a child. I loved the soundtrack and even before seeing the movie I would stage pantomimes in my living room. “Fat Sam’s Grand-Slam Speakeasy…”
Who are my favorite cabaret performers? Well, I not recall having seen any performances by performers who work exclusively in cabarets. In fact, I have seen very few performances of any kin in actual cabarets. I saw Forbidden Broadway in its original open-end engagement Upstairs at Palsson’s, which later became Steve McGraw’s and later still the Triad. I saw Martin Charnin and his daughter, Sasha, many years ago, I believe at a cabaret, the name of which I do not recall, on the same block as Mister Sondheim’s New York City residence. And I saw the Elizabeth Swados-Garry Trudeau revue Rap Master Ronnie at the Village Gate. I was fortunate enough to catch Cissy Houston at George’s in Chicago. Cissy need only sing one measure for a listener to know who the real musician in the family is; she is a truly gifted singer. I saw 20th Century Pop, a revue featuring Merry Clayton, Darlene Love, and Marianne Faithfull at Rainbow & Stars. It was fun. Loved the view, miss the room and Bismarck the maitre d’. I saw Phoebe Snow at Fez. Snow is a richly talented musician with a great voice. I would run to see her again. I saw David Campbell in his first U.S. cabaret performance at Danny’s Skylight Room, prior to his solo engagement at the now-defunct Eighty-Eight’s. I did not much care for the overhyped Mr. Campbell. I found him uninteresting and bordering on unctuous, and I do not understand favorable comparisons of him to Streisand. I was lucky enough to see Betty Comden & Adolph Green at Joe’s Pub and they were as delightful as delightful gets. Comden & Green put on a great revue. Also at Joe’s Pub, I saw Patti LuPone perform a one-act, one-hour version of her full-length Matters of the Heart. LuPone is definitely a favorite and I loved the show. I had reservations to see Christine Ebersole at Arci’s Place on her last date in January of this year, but abruptly she was forced to cancel. Now that she is back at work in 42nd Street, I hope the wonderful Ebersole will perform her cabaret show so I can see it. She has a beautiful voice and a great sense of humor.
I have seen more non-cabaret performances by people who often perform in cabarets. At long last I got to see Barbara Cook perform somewhere other than Yankee Stadium when I caught Mostly Sondheim at the Vivian Beaumont Theatre. Cook makes it look so easy; she is so likable, so charming and so very musical. “Ice Cream” was notably beautiful, and the a cappella encore “Anyone Can Whistle” was magical. I think Ann Hampton Callaway is divine. I saw her in Swing! on Broadway and in her current Signature tour in Tucson, Arizona. She was wonderful in both. In Signature, covering the signature tunes of jazz and popular greats, Ann was terrific. Singing her own compositions, she was magnificent. She is so effortlessly funny and musical. She is worth the climb. I am scheduled to see her with her less-statuesque, but no less beautiful, higher-voiced sister, the wonderful Liz Callaway, in Sibling Revelry at the Ravinia Festival at the end of next month. I cannot wait to see the show. I love the CD and I wish I had caught it at Rainbow & Stars, but by the time I tried to buy tickets it was sold-out. [To drop names in a fasion, Ann, Liz, Christine Ebersole, cabaret regulars Jeff Harnar and David Staller, and I all are alumni of the same high school. They were all before my time, but I did get to see Liz play Lilli Vanessi in Kiss Me, Kate and she was so good at 17.]
I would love to see Kaye Ballard and Eartha Kitt in their cabaret acts.
As for that Unseemly Button, I just bitch-slap it out of the way when I cannot avoid it, but usually I by-pass it altogether.
Posted by freedunit @ 05/30/2002 11:20 PM PST

My favorite cabaret artists would be Michael Feinstein and Jason Graae. I'd love to see Susan Egan sometime.
Posted by Laura @ 05/31/2002 09:14 AM PST

Ahh, favorite cabaret shows/acts:
I tend towards the more obscure (as those are the ones I can afford to see). For recorded acts: Sally Mayes's "Story Hour" album is perhaps the best modern cabaret recorded cabaret work out there (with a small cameo by you-know-who), unless you count Elena Bennett (local New York piano bar diva, whose "Wrinkle in Swingtime" album is magnificent). Her accompaniast, Fred Barton, has one of the funniest albums of all times in "Miss Gulch Returns" (recently re-released with bonus material). There's a remarkably talented Australian trio called Combo Fiasco, and their love of their material (and tight harmonies) puts most of us Murkins to shame.
I will never forget the late, lamented Eighty-Eight's piano bar, where Karen Miller and Rochelle Seldin held court over a bunch of lunatics for hours of showtune fun till the wee hours of the morning. New York lost a treasure when 88s closed, and I lost a second home (and the place where my lady friend became my girlfriend before becoming my wife). :`(
The most entertaining hour you can spend in a cabaret space nowadays is Seth Rudetsky's Broadway Chatterbox show.
Finally, I will never forget seeing Donna McKechnie singing "Music and the Mirror" from two feet away at Arci's Place (another loss for NYC). The "god, I'm a dancer/a dancer dances" lyric my look trite on paper, but the emotion that washed over the audience at that performance was the most powerful thing I've ever experienced.
Posted by Elan @ 05/31/2002 09:23 AM PST

Donna McKechnie -- reminds me that my first exposure to Donna was on TV, along with a long-haired blond named Lada Edmund Jr.
Anyone remember that show in which both ladies were featured dancers week after week?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 05/31/2002 09:31 AM PST

Edward Kleban’s lyrics for A Chorus Line are among the best-suited, best-fitting, most-heartfelt of any ever written for a Broadway show, including the shoe-horned-in, eleventh-hour, calculated pop-hit “What I Did for Love,” which I love.
Donna McKechnie—what’s not to love?
Posted by freedunit @ 05/31/2002 12:57 PM PST

Edward Kleban’s lyrics for A Chorus Line are among the best-suited, best-fitting, most-heartfelt of any ever written for a Broadway show, including the shoe-horned-in, eleventh-hour, calculated pop-hit “What I Did for Love,” which I love.
Donna McKechnie—what’s not to love?
Posted by freedunit @ 05/31/2002 12:58 PM PST

Mea culpa. I will take responsibility for that double post. Just to be fair though, this time the server told me the connection was refused the first time I pressed it. Time to bitch-slap the proxy server.
Posted by freedunit @ 05/31/2002 01:01 PM PST

Ask BK: Got a question? Ask Bruce Kimmel...

© Copyright 2001-2003 Bruce Kimmel.
All Rights Reserved. Site design by hijinks design.