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06/01/2002:
"DRAWN AND QUARTERED"

Photo of Bruce Kimmel

bk's notes II

Well, dear readers, can you believe it? I find it hard to believe myself and yet it is true. What do I find hard to believe and what is true? Why, the fact that it is June, that’s what. Half the year is almost gone – how did that happen? It’s just gone, vanished into thin air, which, I suppose, is better than vanishing into fat air. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, June is bustin’ out all over and I for one am glad because June is going to be a wonderful month – we’ve got the Nudie Musical DVD coming out, we’ve got our very own novel coming out, we’ve got various and sundried things happening all throughout this month known as June. Yes, it’s going to be a glorious month, June is, and anyone who says otherwise needs to change his or her point of view quickly or they shall be drawn and quartered. Yes, if anyone says “otherwise” then they shall be drawn and quartered, not necessarily in that order. First we shall sketch them to the best of our collective abilities and then we will rend that sketch in quarters. That will teach them to say “otherwise”, won’t it? Not only that, but if they continue to say “otherwise” even after we have drawn and then quartered them (perhaps we’ll even draw and half-dollar them, the ungrateful ingrates) then we shall kick them in their kneecaps. That will teach them to say “otherwise” after they’ve been drawn and quartered. I love kicking people in their kneecaps, don’t you? Especially if their knees are wearing Carnaby Street caps, or silly baseball caps, or even tams, or even whitmarks. Yes, it’s June and I would like to know one thing: What the hell am I talking about?

Did you know that May toppled the record set by our record April here at haineshisway.com. Yes, May was our biggest month, traffic-wise – our traffic grew considerably and we must now strive to have June topple May because I like records that are toppled. If you look at our handy-dandy graph, it shows May is much much taller than April and April was, of course, much much taller than every other month prior to it. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? Aren’t we just on our way to being the most popular site on all the internet, the place where the jet set hangs out, the place where those in the know pitch their tents, the place where the In Crowd goes to be In, the place where the happening people happen to go – yes, there’s a place for us, a time and place for us and that time and place is here and now and also now and here. And anyone who says otherwise shall be drawn and quartered without delay. You would think anyone would learn not to say otherwise, but some anyones never learn, so damn them all, damn them all to hell and high and low water. So, tell you friends, tell your neighbors, shout it the the men and women in the street – come to haineshisway.com for a good time, for good company and to be a Hainsie/Kimlet in good standing. If they are having doubts about joining our merry throng (as opposed to our merry thong – we abhor thongs as they are unseemly and grotesque), simply tell them that we eat cheese slices and ham chunks religiously. Yes, Virginia, we eat cheese slices and ham chunks religiously – one day we eat them Jewishly, next day Catholically, one day Protestantly, the next day Baptistly. Sometimes we even eat them Mormonly, but only if we’re in Utah.

I hope I am not telling tales out of school, but did you know that our very own dear reader, Lolita, light of my life, fire of my filet mignon, had a slumber party last night and that none of us were invited? I told her that we were all prepared to show up in our collective baby doll pajamas, but that thought frightened her, and if you look like I do in baby doll pajamas, I suppose that fright was not unfounded. In any case, I do hope she’ll come and post and tell us all about the slumber party and tell us if we Hainsies/Kimlets were a topic of discussion.

I have even more news to share, but I can tell by the hands on the clock that it is time to click on the Unseemly Button below. So, let’s all do so immediately so that I can take my hands off the clock.

Have I mentioned that it’s June and that June is bustin’ out all over? Yes, it’s June, June, June, and just because it’s June we must put on our cut-off jeans and tight t-shirts and we must prance and preen around our collective neighborhoods looking tan and buff and toned with abs and buns of steel. Those who say otherwise shall be drawn and quartered and left hung out to dry.

I have been told by those in the know that my brand spanking new handy-dandy Dell computer is on its way and will be here Monday. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? I’ve also picked up a few of next week’s DVD releases and I shall have some reports for you soon. Some of them I’m really looking forward to, like The Hustler, which I haven’t seen in years. By the way (BTW, in Internet lingo), also coming next week (but they didn’t have them yet) is The Great Race and McCabe and Mrs. Miller. In honor of the latter, I shall play my Mrs. Miller CD.

Well, our regular readers and lurkers out there in the dark know what today is – today is our handy-dandy Unseemly Trivia Contest contest. Before we get to it, however, if you have been a winner of the contest in the past few weeks, I need you to resend me your addresses, because I have been errant and truant and also truant and errant in sending out sparkling prizes – I don’t need last week’s winner, Allan from the UK, but everyone who hasn’t received their prize from contests prior to that, do send along those addresses and all sparkling prizes will ship out Monday. Well, let’s get right to this week’s question, shall we?

What musical that came to Broadway featured among its creative team someone who would go on to be a major Broadway composer, and in its cast someone who would go on to be an Academy Award-nominated film star, and someone else who would go on to become a beloved television star of a beloved television series. Clue: The composer of this musical had several hit songs all associated with one singer and the star of this musical was fired from a major production of another hugely successful musical.

Name the person who would go on to be a major Broadway composer.
Name the Academy Award-nominated film star
Name the beloved television star
Name the musical

Bonus points to those who can name the people mentioned in the clue.

Good luck to one and all and also all and one. One more clue just because it’s Tony weekend: This musical was a Tony winner in at least one category. Now, if there turn out to be multiple possibilities to this question I will eat a thong.

DO NOT POST THE ANSWERS TO THE SITE or you will be drawn and quartered. You may e-mail them to me at bruce@haineshisway.com or simply use the handy-dandy unseemly Ask Bruce button.

Well, it’s cleaning lady day today, our first cleaning lady day in the month of June. Do you think that when Billie Holiday bathed that that was also cleaning lady day? We do not allow groaning here at haineshisway.com, no matter how feeble the joke or pun. Did you know that pun spelled backwards is nup? Just asking.

Well, dear readers, I must away before I’m given the evil eye. Today’s topic of discussion: Continuing our Tony weekend – yesterday we talked about favorite Tony moments – today let’s talk about Tony’s most egregious moments – the worst of Tony, whether something that appeared on a broadcast or a show or performer that wasn’t nominated or didn’t win over much lesser competition. Post away, you dear readers. We must have lots and lots of posts even though it is a weekend, in order to get June off to a record start. If we do not have lots and lots of posts there will be lots and lots of drawn and quartered dear readers.

- Bruce Kimmel



Replies: 26 Unseemly Comments


I should have posted this yesterday, but re LI'L ABNER, I found a really good article (written in the mid-'90s) on the making of the Broadway show, including quotes from Peter Palmer and Norman Panama:
http://www.povonline.com/Abner1.htm Maybe they should have used that article in the CD booklet instead.

Posted by Jaime J. Weinman @ 06/01/2002 09:24 AM PST


bk-

What other Sun Dried things are coming out in June?

Maybe--Tomotos!!

Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 06/01/2002 09:46 AM PST


What an unseemly morning. I wake up and what do I find? A healthy balance on the credit side? No! June is bustin’ out all over. Everywhere. Can’t fence it in.

Most egregious Tony moments: In 1996, Julie Andrews for thinking Victor/Victor—no typo—was worthy of nominations. In 1972—was it?—Liza for thinking she was sober while performing. Clearly visibly she is not. In 2002, when the nominees for actress in a musical and musical are read and Elaine Stritch and Elaine Stritch: At Liberty are nowhere to be heard.

Jaime J. Weinman, thank you for sharing the link.

Posted by freedunit @ 06/01/2002 09:59 AM PST


"I wish it could be otherwise...

Otherwise, I'm sorry we met at all...."

Have at it, BK!!!

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 06/01/2002 10:57 AM PST


"I wish it could be otherwise...

Otherwise, I'm sorry we met at all...."

Have at it, BK!!!

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 06/01/2002 10:58 AM PST


Yes, I did it all by myself. After I hit the "Post" button the first time, I got a screen that said the page could not be displayed. I hit the back button and got the "entry" screen again. So I hit "post" again.

Of course my post posted twice.

Yes, of course...OTHERWISE it would only be up once.

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 06/01/2002 11:00 AM PST


June is bustin' out all over
All over the meader and the hill Flowers bustin' out on bushes
And the roughen river pushes
Ev'ry little wheel that wheels beside the mill

June is bustin' out all over
The ocean is full of Jacks and Jills
With the little tail is swishing' Ev'ry lady fish is wishin'
that a male would come And grab 'er by the gills

Because it's June... June, June, June Just because it's June, June,

Fresh and alive and gay and young June is a love song, sweety song

June is bustin' out all over
The branches are bustin' out with sap
Love has found my brother Junior And my sister's even loonier
And my Ma is gettin' kittenish with Pap!

June is bustin' out all over
The sheep aren't sleepin' anymore All the rams are chasin' ewe-sheep All determined there'll be new ship
and the ewe-sheep aren't even keepin' score

Because it's June... June, June, June Just because it's June, June, June! It's June...It's June, June, June Just because it's June, June...

March went out like a lion A-wavin' up the weather in the bay;
Then April cried and stepped aside,
And lone came pretty little May! May was full of promises
But she didn't keep it quick enough for some
And the crowd up doubtin' of promises
Was predictin' that the summer'd never come

But the summer's by God,
We can feel it come,
You can feel it in your heart
You can see it in the ground
You can see it in the trees
You can smell it in the breeze
Look around! Look around! Look around!

June in bustin' out all over
The ladies and men are payin' court
Lots of ships are keepin' anchor Just because the captain hanker For the comfort they can only get in port

You can hear it comin'!

June is bustin' out all over
The moonlight is shining on the shore
And the girls who were contrary With the boys in January,
Aren't nearly for contrary anymore!

Because it's June... June, June, June Just because it's June, June, June

Posted by Billy Bigelow @ 06/01/2002 11:49 AM PST


Good morning to you, Everyone. I have had very little sleep. I'm so sorry not to extend the slumber party invitation to one and all and also all and one, but my little bitty bedroom is only so big (especially for being little bitty).

For all those curious who are curious, I had a very nice slumber party, indeed. Although I was told that at my age these events are no longer slumber parties, but "get-togethers". I think that "get-togethers" sound very unseemly and was quite unnerved indeed at hearing that I was too old for slumber parties. So I rebelled and called it a slumber party all the dead short evening. Anyway, we watched The Swan, during which I fell asleep (not because of the movie, but because I was up early and working all day until the actual start of the slumber partying). Then we talked. And talked. And talked. And tried to find the tape of Passion. And could NOT find it. And then watched Rushmore.

Oh, what fun it was, and how hard the floor is when you allow others to have the bed. Yes, Yes.

I have no horrific Tony moments because I've only been watching for the past few years and other than those opening number things which I mostly don't enjoy, I can't think of anything especially bad (they were pretty bad throughout...). Although I have seen the tape of Julie Andrews refusing her Tony. And I have seen the tape of Victor/Victoria. And I think she should have just smiled and thanked Blake Edwards and Robert Preston before walking quietly away like so much quiet walking fish.

Ta for now.

Posted by Lolita @ 06/01/2002 01:08 PM PST


I would just like all you "June" posters to know you are dangerously close to PUSHING ME OVER THE EDGE (I had one foot over already). As I emailed BK earlier this week, a theater company here called at 4 p.m. last Friday to tell me their Music Director had just had a stroke, and could I please come in and conduct/play "Carousel" cold? To make it even more challenging (read: more of a nightmare), the score had been hacked to pieces in order to shorten the playing time by almost an hour. Nothing like getting to bar 12 (allegretto, in F major) of a dance sequence, and seeing the handwritten scrawl: "skip to measure 335" (lento, C# minor). Oy, I say. On the other hand, I now have not only several of Portland's best singer/actors, but also an entire administrative staff of a theater company, owing me bigtime. For anyone who has ever MD'd, or just been a musician, for a show, you will know what a rare situation THAT is!

Tony moment: well, the obvious one--"Follies" vs. "Two Gentlemen." Don't even get me started.

Posted by JMK @ 06/01/2002 02:00 PM PST


Ron Pulliam, all I can say is me too yesterday. I hate that…

JMK, how are they getting away with so much cutting? Is it an Equity production?

Posted by freedunit @ 06/01/2002 02:33 PM PST


Tony's Follies

They gave the Tony to Borodin for Kismet and he had been dead for years, but did not give it to Wright and Forrest who wrote the lyrics and the additional music!

Overlooking Sondheim for A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Instead they nominated Bravo Giovanni! When was the last time someone sang a song from that score!

The entire cast of Chapter Two with the exception of Judd Hirsch were nominated for Tonys!

Tom Bosley and Tammy Grimes and Yul all played the title characters in their respective musicals and won the Tony awards in the SUPPORTING categories! Ann Bancroft won a supporting Tony for Two For the Seesaw and she was the only woman in the play! Just because their names were below the title in the posters. Isn't that the most ridiculous reason for someone being nomintaed in the supporting category when they are really the lead?

Ethel Merman losing to Mary Martin (Gypsy/Sound of Music) And Gypsy loosing best Musical. What really is the best that year? Gypsy by a longshot.

They gave tony awards for stage technicians. But when was the last time you applauded the carpentry, electricity or the props?

Or in 1965 the Best PLAY tony went to The Sunject Was Roses BUT Neil Simon won for best writing for The Odd Couple. Try and figure that one out.

The missing Tony: IMHOP there should be a Tony for sound design.

Tony has honored actors who then have promptly disappeared from the acting scene among them Brian Backer (Woody Allen's The Floating Lightbulb), Ben Harney (Dreamgirls), Leilani Jones (Grind), Dee Dee Brigewater (The Wiz, I know she is now a respected jazz singer but she has never acted again as far as I know),Frankie Michaels (Mame), Michael McGuire and Frances Ruffell (both from Les Miz had dropped off from the Broadway scope) Chuck Cooper (The Life) Anyone know where they are now?

Trivia Question:
The Tony Winner who changed her name shortly after winning?

Posted by Michael Shayne @ 06/01/2002 02:49 PM PST


Arnold M. Brockman San:

Well, it is true that I have a dry-skin problem if I get too much solar exposure. But, although my name has been connected in the press with many megacelebrities on several continents, as for coming out--my personal life is not, I repeat not a matter for public discussion.

Wishing you all a happy first of June,

Your Sushi

Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 06/01/2002 02:51 PM PST


Just a little correction for my
Kimlet friends:
Julie Andrews NEVER got, or
refused, a Tony for
Victor/Victoria; she was
NOMINATED and turned down
her nomination, in one
annoucement at the end of
one performance, and NOT on
the Tony show. She could
have thanked Robert Preston,
but he was already in
Broadway heaven at the time.
Julie has guts and we love her
for that!!!!!!

Posted by francois @ 06/01/2002 02:57 PM PST


My, my, the thoughts in my head. I could have sworn that I saw a tape of Julie Andrews with a Tony Award, leaving it at a podium and giving a speech about only being honored only for her reputation and the show being ignored. Phew. That's weird. By thanking Robert Preston, I meant that he was the other wonderful half of the movie and that it couldn't work without him, in my humble opinion. However, that said, nomination or award refused, or whatever, that's the only negative thought I've ever had about Julie Andrews in my whole live long life.

Posted by Lolita @ 06/01/2002 03:09 PM PST


LolitaSEL, if I recall correctly (IIRC) the clip of which you are thinking is the press conference on the stage of the Marquis Theatre that Tony Adams and Blake Edwards staged for Julie Andrews to decline the nomination because others associated with the production were “egregiously overlooked” by Antoinette Perry award nominators. Victor/Victor on Broadway was often tediously boring, a mistake, a travesty, a waste of Julie Andrews’ considerable talents. Perhaps unsurprising, the greatest achievement of V/V was its act-two hotel-room-farce pantomime, the most cinematic element of the whole show. The only thing worse than Julie Andrews in V/V was Liza Minnelli in V/V.

Michael Shayne, in my humble opinion there should be better sound design on Broadway before the Wing contemplates handing out awards. Mercifully, the sound design of Elaine Stritch: At Liberty was excellent. Also, recently it was brought to my attention in these pages that non-Unseemly-Trivia-Contest questions should be submitted to bk, rather than posted. Perhaps you might want to ask him or perhaps he will clarify.

Posted by freedunit @ 06/01/2002 03:32 PM PST


Drawn and Quartered…
Being drawn by Al Hirschfeld would be wonderful, and being quartered sure beats being nickeled-and-dimed to death.

Posted by freedunit @ 06/01/2002 03:34 PM PST


Freedunit, I completely agree
with your remarks about the
staged version of Victor/Victor,
as you say... Boring, boring,
boring.
I think Julie only did it to
please her husband, but she
should have said NO !... and
she might still be able to sing
today...

Posted by francois @ 06/01/2002 03:50 PM PST


Freedunit: Let me tell you about Portland and Equity--wait, there's virtually nothing to tell! I MD'd the last production ("Putting it Together") at Portland's longtime Equity house, Portland Rep, shortly before it went under (you would not believe the tsuris with the staff during our run, which I later realized was due to their funding crisis, including several bounced checks for moi!). Portland's only other Equity house, Portland Center Stage, relies almost totally (and I mean totally--maybe 15% of its budget comes from ticket sales) on City subsidies (it plays in the City owned Performing Arts Center), national grants, and the largesse of several multimillionaire donors who get the honor of having their names attached to the various theaters in the Center (there's nothing quite so glamorous as playing a theater called the "Schnitz," after local doyenne--and actually superbly wonderful woman--Arlene Schnitzer).

Equity has actually hindered the careers of several Portland-based actors, one of whom is in "Carousel," was (with my wife) a SAG/AFTRA Board Member (and Past President of the Local), but who just resigned her Equity status because there simply wasn't enough work here. It's a sad state of affairs, but the good news is, Portland's non-Equity, alternative scene is huge. The paychecks may not be quite as big, but at least the employment is steadier.

Posted by JMK @ 06/01/2002 05:04 PM PST


Disclaimer: I mean no offense to anyone present. I realize that some on this list or their loved ones have been connected to the show in question. I have no words of criticism for Ms. Sharon McNight, who has worked with Bruce and appears to me to be a talented and professional performer. It is not the performers but the material I object to.

That said, I think that 1989 was a low point at the Tonys for the nomination of Starmites as best musical. Sure, there was an absolute dearth new musicals, especially book shows. But even Ms. McNight looked embarrassed when the camera panned to her in the audience.

But come to think of it, I imagine much of the television audience found the number from Starmites more to their tastes than Jerome Robbins' Broadway. Ah me! When one thinks of the marvelous shows being written and performed around the country that never achieve a Broadway outing!

Posted by William F. Orr @ 06/01/2002 08:25 PM PST


All right, all right...all you folks who are sending me mental queries regarding my question regarding Donna McKechnie of two days ago -- I'll answer the question.

Donna and a cute blond dancer named Lada Edmund Jr. were "Go-Go" dancers on the weekly TV hit show "Hullabaloo" back in the 1960s.

McKechnie was very young and, of course, the "brunette" dancer. Lada Edmund Jr. normally danced inside a cage.

It was just too, too....even for then, then...

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 06/01/2002 11:11 PM PST


Andrews has made bad decisions to accommodate Edwards that defy common sense and logic. She could have had a greater career without him. As for Andrews’ supposed vocal-cord problems, I do not know what to make of it. At first, the assertion of vocal difficulty seemed to be a facile public explanation for her missing performances—she had been working like a dog and had every right to take a break—but then she did have surgery. In fact, the otolaryngologist who performed the surgery whom she later sued had been my otolaryngologist briefly several years before V/V. I left his practice because he made me uncomfortable—too star-struck, too show-bizzy—not desirable qualities in a physician. Still somehow the malpractice suit seemed to smack of denial and public-relations strategy—denial of the very real toll time had taken on Andrews voice and means of shifting blame to others—not to mention a means of recouping losses incurred with the Broadway production of Victor/Victor. I think Andrews did not tend to her voice the way she would have needed to have done in order to preserve it as much as possible. If my understanding is correct, much like Barbra Streisand, Andrews has not been obsessive about keeping her voice in shape either by singing every day, or most days—use it or lose it—or with daily vocal exercises and regular classes, or at least not until her surgical recovery. Some natural singers can get away without exercise and disciplined technique for many, many years, entire careers, in fact. However, eventually time catches up and a glorious voice that used to issue without a second thought is nowhere to be heard.

I loved Jerome Robbins’ Broadway. It is one of my very favorite experiences in a Broadway theatre. Not having been around for any of Robbins’ original Broadway productions, it was thrilling to witness the showcase survey of his theatre career. No other revue I have ever seen has been as exciting and moving—from the laughter and glee produced by “Charleston” from Billion Dollar Baby and “I’m Flying” from Peter Pan to the goose-bumps and tears of the West Side Story and Fiddler on the Roof suites. Still, as WFO points out, 1989 was not a good year for the Tonys. It seemed nominees were culled with desperation.

Posted by freedunit @ 06/02/2002 08:17 AM PST


Actually, I've never had a problem with GYPSY losing to FIORELLO! I think FIORELLO! has just about the best book of any musical of the '50s, and I like the score better than GYPSY's, too (not that I don't love GYPSY). My problem that year is more with the fact that SOUND OF MUSIC tied with FIORELLO!. SoM was at best the third-best musical that year, and if anything deserved to tie with FIORELLO! it was GYPSY.

Posted by Jaime J. Weinman @ 06/02/2002 08:48 AM PST


I love Gypsy more than Fiorello!, more than The Sound of Music, and more than most other musicals.

Posted by freedunit @ 06/02/2002 10:08 AM PST


Note to Freedunit:

Bea Arthur and Elaine Stritch ARE nominated for a Tony this year. They, as well as Barbara Cook, are listed under Best Special Theatrical Event. Click on this link to confirm http://tonys.org/nominees/

Posted by Donna - Cabaret West @ 06/02/2002 10:29 AM PST


Donna - Cabaret West, read my post again. I did not err.

Posted by freedunit @ 06/02/2002 01:41 PM PST


Ron:

If I recall correctly, Hullabaloo also featured a young dancer/choreographer named Michael Bennett.

Posted by Elan @ 06/03/2002 09:05 AM PST





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