haines his way

06/17/2002:
"SWEET CLARITY"

Well, dear readers, it is a splendidly splendid Monday morning and I am happy to report that the Paltry Posts of Yore (or Your) were replaced by the Plentiful Posts of Yore (or Your). Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? Apparently, Saturday was a day to be errant and truant and Sunday was a day to be posting and posting. Some people posted on Sunday that they didn’t post on Saturday even though they read the notes, because they didn’t have the Lost in Boston albums, which was sort of the topic of discussion. But one must always post (even you lurkers out there in the dark) even though it may not strictly adhere to the topic of discussion. Have you ever strictly adhered to the topic of discussion? If I want to strictly adhere to the topic of discussion I use a glue stick. But then it’s hard to get the topic of discussion off and then you walk around with a topic of discussion attached to you all the live-long day and night, and isn’t that a little unseemly? In any case, don’t be afraid of posting even if your post isn’t adhering to the topic of discussion. Just remember, if you don’t post you can’t be with it, you can’t be popular with the haineshisway.com populace, you can’t be in with the in crowd, you can’t be hip and happening, you can’t be cool, man, cool. Today, if you can’t adhere to the topic of discussion, just speak of your hatred of thong underwear. That is always a fine sub-topic of discussion. Does anyone have a clue as to what the hell I’m talking about?
For various and sundried reasons I have to keep these notes short today, and that reason will become clear tomorrow. Did you know that on a clear day you can see forever? And tomorrow we shall have a clear day and we shall see forever and ever and ever and ever and evermore. Today is not a clear day so we shall only see forev. Did you know that on a clear day they call the wind Maria? Did you know that in West Side Story they call the wind Maria? Maria/Maria. Mareyeyah/Mareeeeya. Oh, let’s call the whole thing off.
What is this, Alan Jay Lerner day? Did you know that if you ask for permission to do an Alan Jay Lerner show, they give you a Lerner’s permit? We don’t allow groaning here at haineshisway.com. If I paint your wagon on the street where you live will you take me to the fair? If I remember it well will you come back to me? When we had the rain in spain was it the night they invented champagne? Did you know that every time I see Lolita, my love that I thank heaven for little girls? Did you know that when they call the wind Maria they’re really calling it Gigi? Did you know that when you come to me, bend to me that it’s almost like being in love? Did you know that if Kathleen Turner had married Alan Jay Lerner she’d be Kathleen Turner Lerner?
Well, that was fun, wasn’t it? Perhaps every day will be a composer or lyricist day here at haineshisway.com. What do you think of that idea?
Well, dear readers, I do believe it is time to click on the Unseemly Button below, so let’s do so with great and fervent élan.

Have I mentioned that tomorrow we will have clarity? For example, tomorrow you will learn what Hollywood Star I’ll be having a meeting with. You will also find out what my surprise is. Don’t forget to tune in to our brand spanking new radio show, which features Forever Plaid’s Stan Chandler, and his lovely wife Kirsten Benton. Also, don’t forget to submit your Unseemly Trivia contest guesses by midnight tonight. Thus far, we have had only one guess, so you definitely have a shot but not if you don’t submit a guess.
Well, I know these here notes are really short today, but you will understand why when clarity arrives tomorrow. Yes, Virginia, tomorrow we shall have Sweet Clarity but today we shall have short notes. After all, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must see the people I see, go the places I go. Tomorrow we shall have long notes and Sweet Clarity. Today’s topic of discussion: Of all the current crop of musical theater performer – some of whom are truly gifted and talented – of all those performers, which do you think would have achieved true musical theater stardom in days of old, when the musical theater created stars of the magnitude of Merman and Martin? Anyone? No one? Post away, my pretties and I’ll be back later today with my very own thoughts. Now, remember, you don’t have to strictly adhere to the topic of discussion – you can partially adhere to the topic of discussion or just post off topic (OT, in Internet lingo).

Replies: 22 Unseemly Comments

Two off the top of my head
Kristen Chenowith and Brian Stokes Mitchell. There are more, I know and I hope to get back later with the aformentioned more.
Even though we can't groan at HHW, I groaned internally and silently so as not to disturb anyone. Groaning doesn't mean, though, that I didn't think it was funny. Funny it was!
Posted by Ben @ 06/17/2002 10:21 AM PST

I'd pick Karen Ziemba, Susan Egan, Brent Barrett and Stokes Mitchell.
Posted by Robert Armin @ 06/17/2002 10:26 AM PST

Just in case Stan Chandler might happen to check into HainesHisWay.com this week to listen to the radio show, Dear Reader Sandra is a great fan of Forever Plaid and would very much like to have an autographed picture of him for her collection. DearReaderSandra@cs.com.
Posted by Laura @ 06/17/2002 12:18 PM PST

Mandy Patinkin,Bernadette Peters for sure.
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 06/17/2002 12:28 PM PST

Debbie Gravitte, Debbie Gravitte, Debbie Gravitte. Whenever I see or hear her, I think "will someone please write a show for this woman?!"
Also: Jason Graae. Susan Egan. Paige O'Hara. Sally Mayes. Brent Barrett.
I was behind on my reading of the notes at HHW...just caught up and enjoyed the discussion of Karen Morrow. I had the pleasure of attending "Hello, Jerry" in Chicago Thursday evening, with featured Jason Graae, Paige O'Hara, and Karen Morrow along with Don Pippin and Jerry himself. It was a lovely evening with very talented people sitting around a piano singing wonderful songs. Was able to chat with the gang afterward; Karen was off to the St. Louis Muny the next day, where she would be appearing in a Hollywood Musical revue, and then as Smitty in "How to Succeed..." She was delightful, both onstage and off.
The evening made me long for new recordings from both Jason and Paige! Paige sang a song from Herman's new, unproduced "Miss Spectacular." It was classic Herman, lots of fun, and the audience loved it.
Posted by Scott R @ 06/17/2002 12:28 PM PST

In addition to the people already mentioned I would have to say Judy Kaye and Dorothy Loudon. I just blanked on the guys name. He was in Fantasticks, Carnival, Promises Promises 42nd Street. If he stuck with it he could have done great things.
Liz Callaway is just so damn special.
and in some circles don't laugh Sam Harris.
These are just off the top of my head. I am doing this from work.
Discuss
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 06/17/2002 01:07 PM PST

I really try not to say things off the top of my head, because it generally messes up my hair. If I did, I would have to say that I have no feelings of hatred towards thong underwear. I will, however be very glad to get these thong underpants off the top of my head. They are quite unseemly.
Posted by Mattso @ 06/17/2002 01:13 PM PST

Mellisa Rain Anderson - she was so wonderful in Encore's BABES IN ARMS and Mufti's TENDERLOIN.
Also Christopher Fitzgerald.
Posted by William E Lurie @ 06/17/2002 01:52 PM PST

Michael-
The guys name is JERRY ORBACH and he opted for a television career with LAW and ORDER.
Posted by Arnold M.Brockman @ 06/17/2002 03:03 PM PST

Another vote for Brian Stokes Mitchell. I had the pleasure of seeing him in Spider Woman. He does truly command the stage as great stars do. Nathan Lane is a STAR.
Actor Keith Michell-I saw him in
"Scrooge" and "La Cage" - has that "presence" too.
Posted by Tom from OZ @ 06/17/2002 03:21 PM PST

Dorothy Loudon and Jerry Orbach are musical-theatre stars of old—not of the status of Merman and Martin, but stars nonetheless (3-for-1). They were around for the golden age of Broadway.
Posted by freedunit @ 06/17/2002 03:53 PM PST

Bruce Kimmel San:
I am so pleased to hear that you have a meeting with a Big Hollywood Star tomorrow. Hopefully it will lead to another wonderful Bruce Kimmel San movie.
But just a word of warning. Not all legendary megastars of the silver screen are as open and generous as I. Do you really think Bette Davis was a nice person? So be on your guard. I would hate for you to be mislead or hurt by some selfish legendary megastar of the silver screen.
I will light five candles and send you chi.
Best wishes,
Your Sushi
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 06/17/2002 05:16 PM PST

Where are the "Posts"?
Good idea for the composer/lyricist each day. The favourite songs posts were good to read and great to "follow up" the lists of otehr people.
Come back posters.
Posted by Tom Guest (from OZ) @ 06/17/2002 06:17 PM PST

Hello all-
I can't wait until we find out which Famous Hollywood Star Bruce will be seeing.
As far new stars, I think Brent Barrett has star quality. I haven't seen Jason Graae live, but he's got the voice and the personality.
I would think Liz Callaway also- so versatile it seems.
Sally Mayes seems to have it all, too.
Randy Graff could be a star, too. She's definitely got the voice for it.
These are off the top of my head, too. And with the little hair I have left, I need as much ON the top of my head as I can get!
Posted by Kerry @ 06/17/2002 07:10 PM PST

Oh my dear, dear Bruce Kimmel San, I am afraid my spelling was very bad on my post today. I wrote "mislead" and I meant "misled", because "led" is the past tense of "lead", pronounced LEED, as opposed to "lead" pronounced LED like "led". I looked it up in my English grammar book.
I am afraid your writing always gives me trouble. I miswrote your middle name as "Stuart" instead of "Stewart", as dear freedunit San pointed out.
I keep hearing that Westerners have trouble with our syllabic characters, because there are so many, and yet you manage with 26 letters to write ew, u, ue, eu, ou, and oo for the same simple vowel sound. Western people funny. (That was a little musical theatre joke.)
But then again, I owe my Christian name, as you call it, which is peculiar, as I was raised a Buddhist and currently worship the Goddess--I owe my Christian name to a misspelling. But more about that another time.
Ever yours,
Your Sushi
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 06/17/2002 08:48 PM PST

And do not worry, Bruce Kimmel San, for I have lit incense to the Goddess and have been sending you oodles of fabulous chi all night.
Your Sushi
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 06/18/2002 06:57 AM PST

Christine Andreas. Marin Mazzie. Donna Murphy. Melissa Errico. Yes, my word, Brian Stokes Mitchell. The handsomest man in show business, Brent Barrett. The gorgeous Karen Ziemba.
Posted by Philip Crosby @ 06/18/2002 08:16 AM PST

You think we'll make it to 20 paltry unseemly comments?
Posted by Kerry @ 06/18/2002 08:24 AM PST

I'm doing my part.
Posted by Kerry @ 06/18/2002 08:24 AM PST

OVER THE TOP----20 guys 20.
If she wanted to-Maureen McGovern-now in Dear World in Salt Lake City.
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 06/18/2002 08:39 AM PST

Maureen McGovern in Dear World! Oh, I would love to see that. All I know is the cast recording w/Ms. Lansbury and Ms. Connell, et al. I would love to see a production of the show, especially w/McGovern.
Posted by Ben @ 06/18/2002 08:59 AM PST

You asked, “Of all the current…performer[s who] would have achieved true musical theater stardom in days of old…?” A true musical theatre star from the days of old, Elaine Stritch, might reply, “That is supposition, and I never answer any questions that are supposition…Whatever happened…happened…” Of course, Stritch was being Stritchianly serious and we are having fun. A true musical theatre star of old might have been found among
Laura Benanti, Kristin Chenoweth, Sandy Duncan, Christine Ebersole, Christopher Fitzgerald, Debbie Gravitte, Marc Kudisch, Nathan Lane, Andrea Martin, Jesse L. Martin, Andrea McArdle, Lonette McKee, Ernie Sabella, and Douglas Sills.
Having created his roles in The Fantasticks; Carnival!; Promises, Promises; Chicago; and 42nd Street; and having appeared with Ethel Merman in Annie Get Your Gun; Jerry Orbach is a musical-theatre star who stuck with it.
Dear me, Maureen McGovern is a talented, virtuoso musician with a beautiful instrument, but regretfully she is not an actress and not a compelling musical-theatre performer.
Posted by freedunit @ 06/18/2002 09:26 AM PST

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