haines his way

06/26/2002:
"THE UNWIELDY HOLLOW VICTORY"

Well, dear readers, yesterday I called my fancy shmancy hair stylist, Teddy, to whom I’ve been going for over thirty years. And do you know what I found out? Well, I’ll tell you what I found because I simply cannot keep any information, especially that regarding Teddy, from you. I found out that for the second time in our over thirty year history, Teddy is gone for an extended amount of time, once again on tour with David Bowie. Which means I won’t be seeing Teddy until November or thereabouts. Which means I have to have someone else at least trim my hair because it is looking most unseemly these days. Luckily, Mr. Grant Geissman’s wife, Mrs. Grant Geissman, is a hair stylist and she has agreed to do the trimming of the hair. Hopefully that will do the trick until Teddy returns. May I just say that I am very angry with Mr. David Bowie for taking Teddy away like this? How selfish that David Bowie is to deprive us needy people in Los Angeles, California of Teddy’s services for such a long period of time. I’m of a mind to call Mr. David Bowie and when he answers, hang up on him. Wouldn’t that teach him a lesson? But it would be a Hollow Victory, do you hear me, it would be a Hollow Victory. Have you ever had a Hollow Victory? I’m afraid they’re rather stupid as victories go, but if people enjoy them who am I to say nay? However, I shall not be calling Mr. David Bowie and hanging up on him, because while it might be enjoyable for the moment, it would be a Hollow Victory. Here in the San Fernando Valley, we not only have Hollow Victory, we also have Hollow Moorpark, Hollow Sherman Way and Hollow Roscoe. I know that last sentence will be lost on you non-San Fernando Valley people, but since I am in the San Fernando Valley I found it most amusing – I chuckled three times and giggled once. Then I ate a cheese slice.
Last night I dreamed I was at Manderley.
My dream was a corker, let me tell you that. In my dream, I was shooting baskets on a basketball court. Now, those who know me know that only in a dream would I be shooting baskets on a basketball court, because fifty-four year old Jews don’t look right shooting baskets on a basketball court. As I was shooting baskets on a basketball court, I met a professional basketball player – a Caucasion who was 7’8 inches tall. I came up to just above his waist, so maybe he was even taller than that. In fact, I’d say he was the tallest Caucasion professional dream basketball player who ever lived (at least in a dream). We playfully shot some baskets together, but I couldn’t keep up because all he had to do was walk up to the basket and drop the ball through it. Hardly cricket, but then we were playing basketball so what did cricket have to do with anything? In any case, there we were, minding our own business, when two bullies came up and challenged us to a game. I didn’t want to play, being a fifty-four year old Jew and all, but we agreed anyway. Before we started, these bullies wheeled in a dangerous-looking machine, which they set up. We got very nervous that this machine was somehow Nuclear, and we threatened to turn these bullies in to the authorities. They merely laughed at us and told us the machine was not Nuclear, not dangerous at all, that it was, in fact, a telecine machine. Now, what these two bullies were doing on a basketball court with a telecine machine is not known to me at this time, because at the very moment I was going to find out the answer to that most interesting question, the phone rang and I was awakened from my dream. Wasn’t that an interesting dream? Wasn’t that just too too? I have no idea what any of it meant, but it was probably just the result of the intensely annoying headache I had last night.
Did you know that at amazon.com we finally broke the top two hundred best selling DVDs? I posted that information yesterday, but am posting it again today because I was so giddy with happiness. Of course, it was a Hollow Victory because today we are back at 212 or something, but yesterday we managed to get to 176. Did you also know that at amazon.com they say that people who have bought The First Nudie Musical on DVD have also purchased Citizen Kane on DVD? What a fine double bill that would make, after all they do have something in common, which is the directors of both films were but a mere twenty-seven when they made them. Did you know that amazon.com also raised the price of the DVD, so that it is now cheaper (cheaper, do you hear me?) to purchase a signed copy here than a non-signed copy there?
My goodness, this first section has become unwieldy, hasn’t it? I look at this first section and I think “unwieldy” immediately. Well, let us combat this unseemly unwieldiness by clicking on the unwieldy Unseemly Button. If something can be “unwieldy” can something else be “wieldy”? Isn’t “wieldy” a Jerry Lewis word? Okay, let’s all put on our Jerry Lewis voices and say unwieldy as we click on the Unseemly Button below. On the count of three: One, two, three: Unwieldy as we click on the Unseemly Button below.

I have been on a crash diet, dear readers, so I can look svelte and suave at our signings this weekend. Do you think there’s a letter missing from “svelte”? Shouldn’t there be a letter between the “s” and “v”? Somebody was in a hurry, word-wise, is what I think and took a shortcut with “svelte”. In any case, I am on a crash diet. It’s an interesting diet, a crash diet is – on this diet you crash into things and then supposedly lose weight. I get up each morning and crash into a few walls on my way to the kitchen. Later, while I’m out and about and also about and out, whilst walking I occasionally crash into a pole or two, and sometimes even a czech or two. Is writing a check to a Czech redundant? So far I haven’t lost any weight on my crash diet, but I do have several nice bruises – I call them Bruce’s Bruises. I feel this entire paragraph has a Eugene Ionesco quality to it, don’t you, dear readers?
Well, we all know what today is, don’t we? Today is Ask BK Day, the day you get to ask all of your excellent questions. Ask anything, and I shall answer to the best of my ability. Said answers will appear in tomorrow’s notes.
We are in the final push to get June ahead of May, traffic-wise. Push, I say, push. Harder. We must push – if we push we will win. Let us put on a final burst of speed and overtake May. Right now, according to the handy-dandy haineshisway.com chart, we are neck and neck with May, we are, in fact, tied with May. Well, that is simply unacceptable. We must, at the very least, be elbow and elbow with May rather than neck and neck and we must untie our tie with May and we must beat May and show May just who is who and what is what. It may be a Hollow Victory, but still we want to keep up, Hollow Victory-wise.
In any case, I must take the day, I must do the things I do. I have a few packages to ship, I have some things to crash into so I can lose some weight on my crash diet, I have to call David Bowie and hang up when he answers – so much to do in so few hours. So, ask your excellent questions and remember – don’t answer any questions here on the site – leave them to the likes of me and the likes of me will answer them all. Ask away, my pretties.

Replies: 48 Unseemly Comments

What's a telecine machine?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 06/26/2002 09:54 AM PST

"The Ballad of Dan McGrew" is what Margaret Rutherford recited. See yesterday's posts. OK, now I can go back and read today's notes. But I HAD to get that off my chest first. I was very uncomfortable on my chest-- just laying there like so much fish. Be back later.
Posted by Kerry @ 06/26/2002 09:57 AM PST

FIRST NUDIE MUSICALS QUESTIONS:
1)I think I read on this here site a while ago that Debbie (Shapiro) Gravitte dubbed a song. Which one.
2) The version of the film I had before the new DVD was taped from Showtime in the 80s (which advertised it as starring Ron Howard and Cindy Williams). It included the allegedly cut plumber scene that is a DVD extra. Why did they add this scene back?
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 06/26/2002 10:09 AM PST

Well, Mr. BK, my question can be answered by you, but Mr. Donald Feltham may have something to add as well, since my question concerns the lovely and beloved Radio Show.
Will the recent discussions and decisions regarding payment of royalties by Internet radio shows have an effect on the Broadway Radio Show? It has become my favorite Monday morning habit. I settle in to my desk full of greenbar printouts and turn on my computer and go right to Kimlet/Hainesie Land and listen for a blissful hour to Mr. DF (and sometimes even You). It is a most enjoyable diversion.
Now, I'm off. Back to work and then final preparations for our long-awaited vaction to the land of Richard Dean Anderson, Loni Anderson, Louie Anderson, Robert Vaughn, The Andrew Sisters, Kevin Sorbo, Ted Mann, and in fictional terms, Poppin Fresh (the doughboy of my dreams), Betty Crocker, Mary Richards, Sue Ann Nivens, Murray Slaughter, Phyllis Lindstrom (Rhoda was from New York and I believe Mr. Grant was from Detroit) and me. There are even more than that. Who'd have thought so many famous people would come from Minnesota. I'll be on and off for the next few days as I relax and visit friends and family and go antiquing in Stillwater and whatever else enters our minds, but I'll definitely check back to see the answer to my question.
Posted by Ben @ 06/26/2002 10:16 AM PST

Kerry: According to the IMDb, Margaret Rutherford appeared as Miss Marple in the following films:
Alphabet Murders, The (1965)
... aka ABC Murders, The (1965)
Murder Ahoy (1964)
Murder Most Foul (1964)
Murder at the Gallop (1963)
Murder, She Said (1961)... aka Meet Miss Marple (1961)
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 06/26/2002 10:57 AM PST

My copy of "Benjamin Kritzer" and accompanying CD arrived today. Hooray!
That was really speedy.
Posted by Kerry @ 06/26/2002 11:32 AM PST

Have you seen my hair? It's the most unnatural shade of red since Lucy. I saw how good Mr. Kimmel's hair looked and stole his hairdresser. Let Mrs. Geisman take care of BK. I have Teddy.
Posted by David Bowie @ 06/26/2002 11:45 AM PST

I believe that the First Nudie will be my next favourite next to Citizen Kanie.
I got Benjamin Kritzer today with the gift CD(which is terrific)
Question-1)Was it Grant Geissman or You that did the Fine and Dandy arrangement of WHEN THE RED RED ROBIN COMES BOB BOB BOBBIN ALONG???.He certainly does Bob Bob in this rendition.
2)What a terrific piece on Richard Rodgers in THE NEW YORKER this week.Did you you ever come in contact with him ?If so what was your impressions of the man??
3)Did you ever consider doing a CD of great songs from flop musicals?
4)How will you be spending the splendid 4th of July?
5)Has it ever occured to you that most of Richard Widmark's films have not made it on DVD? I wonder why??
6)If you start(and I hope and pray that the IF becomes a WHEN)your own record company do you have a project(s) that you would love to do?
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 06/26/2002 11:46 AM PST

On the "Broadway Love Story" album, I seem to hear a fragment of Sondheim's "I Remember Sky" in the arrangement for "You're Just in Love." Was Christiane Noll supposed to sing that song on the album, and if so, where would it fit in the "theme?"
Posted by Elan @ 06/26/2002 11:46 AM PST

I repeat my question of yesterday, which is to see a list of the song titles on the First Nudie Musical bonus CD (mainly the documentary music as I figured out the rest).
Also, do you have a copy of Woman of the Year still floating around that I could buy?
Posted by Robert Armin @ 06/26/2002 12:36 PM PST

Two more questions: Annette O'Toole has made only a few movies in which she sings (very well, indeed). Why did you never do a complete album with her and would you still like to? Did she receive billing on the original print of First Nudie Musical or did you add that credit for the DVD?
Posted by Robert Armin @ 06/26/2002 12:41 PM PST

First, to Donna, you are very welcome!
Second, to BK, I am glad to say that while browsing the Tower Records in Lakewood yesterday they already had TFNM on their shelves, ready for purchase by the hoi-polloi. Very good news, indeed, if you ask me! They also had a copy of Mr. Haines' "Haines His Way" available, which means I will have to return there soon, as I have no intention of purchasing anything from that scurrulous on-line company ever again. Not that they even have said disc available at said scurrulous site.
Third, a question from my ever-loving der Brucer, who is doing very well, thank-you, but is very busy and lets me take care of sending questions your way: Besides those "employed" by Agatha Christie, what novelled detectives catch your interest? (Der Brucer qualifies this by saying that he is interested in detectives who are part of a series of novels and/or stories, not one shot artists.)
Thank-you!
Posted by S. Woody White @ 06/26/2002 12:44 PM PST

Oh, boy, I am chomping at the bit to answer these excellent questions, I am having to hold myself both back and front, I am having to restrain myself from jumping the gun because we most certainly don't want any premature elucidationtion around here, do we?
Posted by bk @ 06/26/2002 01:30 PM PST

Oooh, be still my beating heart (well, not really - if my beating heart were still, I'd be bereft of life) - we have jumped back up in the amazon.com sales chart, and in fact are at our best sales rank yet: 160. Let's all clap our hands together right now, because I really want to crack 150.
Posted by bk @ 06/26/2002 01:35 PM PST

I visited that "other" site that we don't mention and noticed that BK's name is once again prominently displayed as producer of a number of CDs -- although Haines His Way is no longer available on the site. Is the ice thawing a bit?
Varese Sarabande also proudly displays BK's name on those few albums of his they still sell.
As I told someone recently from that other "site," I will buy virtually any CD with Bruce's name on it because I trust his taste, but their newer albums do not interest me because I have no idea what to expect. What exactly is a Matt Zarley?
Posted by Robert Armin @ 06/26/2002 01:49 PM PST

I have questions, oh do I have questions. But they must wait. Yes, the questions must wait because there are more important things than questions today. What you say? What could be more that QUESTIONS on ASK BK day? Well friends, listen close because I will tell you. Wait. Don't listen. There is nothing to hear. Instead, read along (or ashort)
As quickly as it arrived today, I devoured the book known by one and all and all and one as Benjamin Kritzer. I shant post any spoilers (sreliops either!)
Bruce has written a wonderful story capturing the essence of youth and all the wonders that it beholds.
I must say that Part I is exposition. A lot of it. Part I is the fish for the rest of the story. Without it, one might not truly care about the characters in Part II. With it, the story that unfolds is pure magic.
The dialogue is fresh and witty. Those who visit this site will relish (and mustard and ketchup) each morsel of conversation. The banter between the Kritzers (especially Minnie and Benjamin) are nothing short of hysterical. Perhaps that is because growing up, I to questioned everything.
I could write more, but I fear that anything I would say would give important elements of the book away which are much better enjoyed not being "sixth sensed".
So.. like so much fish, that is my review.
My questions to follow...
Posted by Craig @ 06/26/2002 02:29 PM PST

1)
Are your oh secret discussions have anything to do with turning the First Nudie Musical into a stage show?
2)
Who owns the rights to be the distributor of the albums you produced? Can you take them elsewhere? What is happening to the Brent Barrett, Clea Blackhurst and the Sherman Brosalbums?
3)
Is Buddy Bregman who did the album related to Tracy Bregman the actress?
4)
Have you ever considered Amanda McBroom (you did Heartbeats with her) for a solo album?
5)
One of my favorite cuts on the Joan Ryan album you "supervised" is Trust the Wind. What is your opinion of David Friedman as a composer, arranger and producer?
Nudie Musical Questions
6) If Paramount no longer owns the rights to distribute why was the their logo at the beginning of the film?
7) Could the telecine have cleared up the trailer and the cut musical number?
8) Was your character named after the elusive film director Alan Smithee?
9) Why didn't your character have a song?
10) Is is true the sequal will be the Nudie Musical II: The Seach for Susan Stewart. Plot: Where a producer agrees to finace a sequal if only the whole cast(still living) is reunited and you are able to find everyone but Susan Stewart?
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 06/26/2002 02:54 PM PST

Hoorah, hooray! I love Benjamin Kritzer!
I was hooked on the mini-BK and his heartfelt antics from the very first line of the prologue.
Bruce gives such a vivid, loving description of 1950's Los Angeles that it draws you into that innocent time when nine year olds could eat copious amounts of shrimp, fall madly in love, and practice rolling down stairs in a movie theatre without fear of being mugged or molested.
It's a beautiful story that will make you laugh, make you cry, and even make you a bit nauseous from time to time when senile grandparetns are seen through the eyes of little Benjamin.
Did I mention that I basically read the whole thing as soon as I got it, in one afternoon? :)
Everyone order a copy now and get Bruce to sign it because he has very fun handwriting.
Oh, yes, and here are my questions:
You mentioned on the radio show this week that there would be an audio recording of the book... When do you think that will happen?
I can't remember what you said about when the books would be in stores... But when will they be in stores?
How do you feel about Carole King and her various and sundried cds?
How are your books organized? All in one room?
Do you see yourself returning to the stage?
And finally, is Benjamin Kritzer available for dates?
Posted by Lolita @ 06/26/2002 03:02 PM PST

"Bernadine"-- I love "Bernadine" and always did.
"Young Love" is wonderful, and you even used an echo chamber--perfect. You're a regular Tab Hunter or Sonny James. Who knew?
Posted by Kerry @ 06/26/2002 03:12 PM PST

freedunit,
Iknow you are loath to publish your e-mail address, but if you would e-mail me, I would like to send you something. I had to make sure this was not in the form of a question so that BK wouldn't bitch-slap you for answering.
Posted by Kerry @ 06/26/2002 03:13 PM PST

Ah, my first question: Since you were talking about orchestrators the last few weeks (well, you talked about it once, and I've brought it up a few times), has an orchestrator that you worked with ever come up with something so perfect that you had not thought up and you cannot imagine the song any other way now? If so, what were they?
Posted by Kerry @ 06/26/2002 03:16 PM PST

What I meant, of course, is that GUY HAINES is a regular Tab Hunter or Sonny James. Please convey this to enigmatic (but talented) Mr. Haines.
Posted by kerry @ 06/26/2002 03:24 PM PST

Kerry, I will E-mail you later tonight. I hope it is clear that I have not posted my address only for fear of a lurking web-spider or web-crawler or other web pirate snatching—yes, snatching—my E-mail address and sending me S.P.A.M., which is unseemly in an undesirable way.
Back to Coprophilia…
Why does the coprophiliac love S.P.A.M.?
Because it is shit posted as mail.
Posted by freedunit @ 06/26/2002 03:25 PM PST

Kerry, very good at phrasing a type of question as not a question. Thank you for being concerned that I might be bitch-slapped. Which reminds me: There does not seem to have been a good bitch-slapping all week!
Posted by freedunit @ 06/26/2002 03:28 PM PST

You're right. We are bitch-slapped deprived. I think this calls for emergency cake!
Posted by Kerry @ 06/26/2002 03:57 PM PST

Re: Michael Shayne's questions for BK. I have an 90-year-old uncle and an 88-year-old aunt who can ask that many questions in less than a minute, plus they'll throw in -- as an every other question -- questions about my love life. They're on the east coast and I, mercifully, am on the west.
For Ben...yes, all those people from Minnesota...all "from" Minnesota...never to return...hmmmm....
Granted, there hasn't been a big bitch-slap all week, but that doesn't mean none have been deserved...it's that everyone has deserved at least on.
I am so bitch-slap-deprived I had to go over to r.m.m. and flame a news group harpie. I did it several times, with feeling, and it felt good.
Now bitch-slap me, dammit...right now!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 06/26/2002 04:10 PM PST

My gosh, people!
Are none of you merciful?????
: (
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 06/26/2002 04:36 PM PST

Hot Diggity! Ah feel so good ah could dance the ole ya-hoo step! (Mini-trivia points for naming the show and the performer--there are two correct answers.)
My Benjamin Kritzer arrived today, and a mystery is finally cleared up.
Last week my Joe found a dead robin in our mailbox. Can you imagine? We don't know who put it there, because there was no return address or postmark. Assumed it was neighborhood kids. Vandalizing mailboxes is a sort of rite of passage (more like a rong of passage I say) around here.
But then Joe and I put on the Banjamine Kritzer CD, and there was the very first song on the album: "When the Red Red Robin Comes Bob Bob Boddin' Along". Aha! The culprit has confessed. Obviously Mr. Guy Haines took a plane from Los Angeles to LaGuardia, hopped in a taxi, deposited the avian carion (not to be confused with Bob Avian) and returned stealthily to whence he came. He then proceded to brag about his nefarious deed and publish it for all the world to hear.
Anyway, I am exceedingly pleased to have my very own personally autographed copy and will devour it at the earliest opportunity.
Kerry: You will find all of the poem "The Shooting of Dan McGrew" by Robert W. Service at http://www.ude.net/verse/mcgrew.html.
Kvestions for BK: What do you want to be when you grow up? Or have you, like me, decided that growing up isn't worth the bother?
Which song better typifies your attitude: "Marry Me" by Kander and Ebb or "Live Alone and Like It" by Sondheim? (I can think of a third possibility that would hedge your bets.)
Posted by William F. Orr @ 06/26/2002 05:40 PM PST

Ooops. That's "Bobbin' Along". Everybody knows that robins do not bod along.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 06/26/2002 05:42 PM PST

Oh, and speaking of Robin songs, do you know "Poor Little Robin (Walking to Missouri)"?
I mention it in passing (along with a hundred other songs) in my novel Any Other Season, and when it was on the Internet (which it will be again shortly) I got two inquiries from people who were looking for the lyrics--easily obtainable by a Google search--of that song and of no other.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 06/26/2002 05:46 PM PST

My next question (and this may be from the Proust questionnaire) is
What are three of your greatest extravagances?
What (other than the show, "Sugar") are five other guilty pleasures?
Posted by Kerry @ 06/26/2002 05:51 PM PST

Those guilty pleasures can be in life, in the theatre, in food... anything.
Bruce, since you have taken so much of my salary over the years, and apparently (and very hopefully) will be doing so for many more years, this could put me in the poorhouse. Since there isn't really a poorhouse or debtor's prison (other than some offices I have worked), how about opening the Guy Haines Home for all of us? Not the poorhouse, or an old folks home, but something along the lines of the Motion Picture Retirement Home. A big compound perhaps, or a large mansion with cast grounds. We could have Movie Nights, ask BK days (in person), have a special bitch-slapping court (or room or wherever one goes for serious bitch-slapping. We must ask freedunit about this.) What do you think? The idea occurred to me after someone mentioned (WFO, I think) mentioned that haineshisway would be a wonderful place to live. We could have talent shows and cake, and so much more. Now we just have to figure out a way to finance it. Any thoughts?
Posted by Kerry @ 06/26/2002 06:13 PM PST

I've only read the Prologue, and I want more. Have you thought about writing a sequel to "Benjamin Kritzer"? Or a non-fiction account of your years starting out and all your adventures?
OK, I won't take up any more of your time today. Well, I'll try not to.
Posted by Kerry @ 06/26/2002 06:24 PM PST

Why is Mr. Pulliam getting on Mr. Shayne's case. I've noticed that this is not the first time. Let's not get nasty on the board here. Please. I really enjoy it.
Posted by Jessica Gersh @ 06/26/2002 06:37 PM PST

Jessica-
Are you one of the lurkers who just came out to say hi? Welcome!
Posted by Craig @ 06/26/2002 06:41 PM PST

I am totally aghast that anyone thinks I'm getting on Michael Shayne's case.
I apologize to Michael for any chance he feels that way.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 06/26/2002 06:48 PM PST

I also apologize to anyone else who feels as Ms. Gersh does about my posts.
Ben: I hope you realized my tongue was planted in my cheek in my comment about Minnesota!
Ditto, Michael, about your numerous questions, and any/all otherr occasions Ms. Gersh alluded to.
I feel awful about this.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 06/26/2002 07:17 PM PST

I've been watching a program on the Food Network just now, called "$40-a-Day," where the hostess travels to a different city each episode and eats wonderfully well, breakfast lunch snack and din-din, on a budget of $40 for the entire day. (Clever title, eh?) There's just one thing that really bugs me about the show: the hostess never bothers to leave a tip! I mean, talk about setting a bad example! The federal government expects servers to get tips, and automatically charges our gracious servers a percentage of their sales as income tax! How ungracious of both the government and the program's hostess! I am crossing my arms in a fit of frustration and ire, which is making typing very difficult.
Question: What rules would you, Bruce, like for us loyal Kimletts to follow when dining out and leaving a tip?
Posted by S. Woody White @ 06/26/2002 07:22 PM PST

Now, now, I don't see anything in Mr. Ron Pulliam's post that is offensive or problematic. His tongue was most obviously in his cheek, so no one needs to feel bad. Everyone knows that we are a family here, and while we may have friendly little jibes it's never in seriousness. We are much too happy and gay for that. We leave bad and obnoxious behavior to those Usenet newsgroups.
Welcome Jessica - and please continue to post, won't you?
As to the Benjamin Kritzer sequel possibility - when you get to the end of the book, there is a clue (don't read the end early or you will be brained).
Posted by bk @ 06/26/2002 08:27 PM PST

Well, our copy of Benjamin Kritzer arrived today also and promptly disappeared into the pit known as Dear Reader Sandra's room, likely never to be seen again.
My questions for BK:
Where were you and what were you doing when:
1. Kennedy was assassinated?
2. Elvis died?
3. The Challenger exploded?
4. The World Trade Center was attacked?
Posted by Laura @ 06/26/2002 08:29 PM PST

Where the heck are my questions? Oh.. right. I haven't asked them yet — so here goes:
1. Bruce, when did you first "meet" Benjamin Kritzer?
2. If you could go back to your childhood, what would you tell your younger self about the man he will grow up to be?
3. When you watch movies at home, or in the theater, other than the assumed diet coke, are there any other goodies you enjoy? What are your movie watching treats?
4. Who makes the best chocolate chip cookie in the world?
5. When you produce a CAST album, how much work and what exactly do you do as a producer to prepare prior to walking into the studio?
6. Who would be up to the task of portraying the adult characters in Benjamin Kritzer?
7. Are we ahead of May yet...?!?!
8. I didn't notice an art credit in BK.. did you do the fabulous illustrations?
9. What recording studio is your favorite and why?
10. If you had a time machine and could go anywhere at anytime. What (and when) are some places you would go and why? If you could change your past or future, would you? Does the idea of time travel interest you at all?
...there.. that's my plethora of questions for this week. I thank you in advance for your turbo velocity with verbosity!
Posted by Craig @ 06/26/2002 08:31 PM PST

1. In memory of the death of my fellow Chicagoan Eppie Lederer, I have an Ann Landers question for you, and a related one. Over or under? Is it bathroom tissue or toilet paper?
2. Would The First Nudie Musical make a good stage musical? If so, how and where? If not, why?
3. Who are your favorite playwrights:
A. living; and B. dead?
4. What play have you read most often?
5. What play is most underrated?
6. What do you consider to be the greatest play:
A. U.S.; and B. ever?
7. Has there ever been or might there be an Ask-Guy-Haines day?
8. Would you ever suggest that Guy Haines consider recording a Rodgers & Hart album?
9. What is the longest recording session or sessions you were able to enjoy for recording a cast album? What was the shortest?
10. Should the Broadway production of Chicago be moved to give way to Bernadette Peters in Gypsy?
11. Is there any hope of recovering the still beautiful Mark Hellinger Theatre from its current aberrant use?
12. Do you have a recipe for Parisienne cake that you would like to share?
13. Do either you or Guy Haines cook? Bake?
14. How many questions are permitted per Hainsie, per Kimmlet, per lurker, per questioner, on Ask-BK day?
[By the way (BTW) the aforementioned questions were composed before seeing any other questions, including those of Craig, with whose list I am not competing.]
Posted by freedunit @ 06/26/2002 08:53 PM PST

Ron Pulliam, I must confirm: Are you totally aghast or just half ghast? Of course, asking this question on Ask-BK day means only BK may answer…
Posted by freedunit @ 06/26/2002 08:57 PM PST

Freedunit-
Oh yeah? well I can come up with five more questions to outquestion you.. but that would be unseemly. Instead, I will ask that every lurker ask at least one question and make yourselves known. What a delight it is to see new names appear on these here posts.
OK.. one more question, but this IS for Bruce AND the rest of the gang here, so there will be NO bitchslapping ANYONE who responds please.
Question: How do we feel about a "Hainsie/Kimlet" Glossary of Terms or Dictionary if you will. I'd be happy to make a compendium of expressions and words we use here on the site for the newcommers and people wishing to add such vernacular to their personal and private lives. What says you to such a "project"?
Posted by Craig @ 06/26/2002 08:59 PM PST

Craig, what a FAQ’ing great idea. It would make a nice companion for a frequently-asked-questions section. Let the bitch-slapping begin!
Laura, not that you asked, not that you care, but I am going to answer your questions tomorrow.
Posted by freedunit @ 06/26/2002 09:47 PM PST

Congratulations to sixth-grader Benjamin Kritzer, who is on the sixth grade honor roll at William Penn middle school.
http://www.phillyburbs.com/couriertimes/news/news_archive/0409bulletinboard.htm
Posted by Laura @ 06/26/2002 10:31 PM PST

You guys keep talking about me! You talked about me last month. I’m eleven! Leave me be! And look, you stretched the margin again!
Posted by Benjamin Kritzer, Honor Roll Student, William Penn Middle School, Philadelphia, PA @ 06/26/2002 11:05 PM PST

I really must work out how to order a copy of this already well received and applauded novel. I will take the time to go back over all the instructions at the weekend (I hope). If totally confused (which won't take much) I will have to resort Amazon. I hae buying things over the net.
Questions (hopefully not answered in previous sessions I have missed or forgotten):
What are three most and least successful financially, (I guess that means sales figures) of the Cds you have produced. I think you may have mentioned the Unsung Berlin at one stage.Are you kept abreast (or any other part) of sales of "your" CDs? What do you think of the John McGlinn Cds. (eg Showboat, Jerome Treasury etc)
Posted by Tom Guest @ 06/26/2002 11:42 PM PST

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