haines his way

07/02/2002:
"THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER"

Well, dear readers, has anyone noticed that we are now firmly entrenched in the dog days of summer? Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, we are firmly entrenched in the dog days of summer. Just what are the dog days of summer? And if we have the dog days of summer, do we have the cat days of winter, and perhaps the goldfish days of spring and the zebra days of fall? In any case, here we are, firmly entrenched in the dog days of summer. Today, for example, is poodle day. Yesterday was cocker spaniel day. Yes, the dog days of summer are very exciting indeed and also very too too.
Yesterday, on cocker spaniel day, I did an interview with our very own td, regarding the release of our brand spanking new DVD of The First Nudie Musical. It will appear very soon on a DVD site which we will link to when td tells us said interview is up and running. So, stay tuned. It is a searing interview – a shocking expose. I name names, I tell where all the bodies are buried, I reveal never-before-revealed revelations. It is raw and truthful and it may cause you to actually look away whist reading it.
Your wonderful amazon.com reviews have started to appear on amazon.com. Now, we must be very careful when selecting the “stars” for the reviews. In other words, two of the three reviews receive five-stars, the most that can be given. Then one dear reader review, which is a great review, only receives three stars when it is clearly meant to receive five stars. That is because dear reader William F. Orr, who wrote a beautiful review for which I’m very grateful, inadvertently (rather than vertantly) pressed three stars instead of five stars. So, do be careful in your star-pressing. The same thing happened last week when dear reader Robert Armin accidentally pressed four stars rather than five when reviewing Nudie Musical. Now, Robert and William should go back there, because there may just be a way to rectify the star thing. I’m not sure, but it’s worth checking out. Do keep those reviews coming, because it really helps for new books that no one has ever heard of.
Last night I started to watch the movies contained in my Giallo box set. For those who don’t know, Giallo films were a series of weird Italian thrillers from the mid sixties and seventies. The one I was watching last night, Short Night of Glass Dolls (yes, Virginia, they all have wacko titles like that) stars Miss Ingrid Thulin, and those of you who have already read my book will know how cool that is. Anyway, I’ll be watching these Giallo movies for several days. They are not for everyone, but if you’ve seen and enjoyed Bird With the Crystal Plummage, you’ll enjoy the movies in this set. By the way (BTW in internet lingo), I like to eat jello when I watch a Giallo.
Has anyone noticed that it’s the dog days of summer? Perhaps we should ponder that fact while we all click on the Unseemly Button below.

Don’t forget that tomorrow is Ask BK Day, so get your excellent questions ready.
We’ve had several winners of our Unseemly Trivia Contest this week. The question was:
In the late thirties a popular play was produced first in Washington and then on Broadway. In the cast was someone who, thirty years later, would go on to do a very popular musical in which he played a very popular historical figure (also playing that role in the film version of said musical). Also in the play was someone who became famous for saying the line, “You’re next!” in a very popular fifties film. Also in the cast was someone who would do a very popular film about Santa Claus. Also in the cast was someone who would go on to play a very famous Dr., although not a Dr. you’d ever want to go to – in other words, he would play a very famous villainous Dr. Is that enough damn clues to choke a damn horse? Name the fershluganah play they all appeared in. Final clue: The play was directed by a well-respected playwright.
Our High Winners were Michael Shayne, JMK, Steve Gurey, Jed, Paul Fairie and Steve Westcott. Although several High Winners got several of the bonus questions, no one got them all. And the answer:
The fershluganah play: Abe Lincoln in Illinois
The actor who, thirty years later, would play a popular historical figure: Howard da Silva as Ben Franklin in 1776
The actor famous for saying the line, “You’re next!” in a popular fifties film: Kevin McCarthy, Invasion of the Body Snatchers
The actor who would do a very popular film about Santa Claus: John Payne
The actor who would go on to play a very famous but nasty Dr. (I used the abbreviation for a reason): Joseph Wiseman – Dr. No.
The well-respected playwright who directed the show: Elmer Rice
We’ve put all the names into our electronic hat, and chosen completely at random was Mr. Steve Westcott, who is this week’s Highest Winner. If Mr. Westcott will e-mail his address, he will be receiving a sparkling prize. Congratulations to one and all and all and one.
I shipped out all the Nudie DVDs yesterday so those who waited for the signatures should be receiving them shortly. The post office was a madhouse – I’ve never seen anything like it. As you probably know, all postal rates went up again last Friday. I’m hoping we don’t have to raise the shipping rates here at haineshisway.com, but I don’t know yet. We definitely won’t be raising them this week, so if you want to order something do so before we do have to raise them. Does the raise in postal rates mean the postal service will improve? Do I wear thong underwear?
I just this minute received a lovely note from Mr. Harvey Schmidt, who is thrilled with the way his painting looks on the cover of Benjamin Kritzer. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Remember, post your Nudie and Kritzer reviews to both amazon and barnesandnoble.com. The more the merrier say I.
Well, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must get in my automobile and drive to and fro and fro and to and left and right and north and south. Today’s topic of discussion: If you could take credit for writing one non-theater song, what would it be? I’ll start – I would say I’d be happy to take credit for the stunningly beautiful When I Fall in Love. So simple, so heartfelt, and with a gorgeous perfect melody. Your turn.

Replies: 30 Unseemly Comments

I think the song I'd like credit for (not to mention royalties) might be Jerome Kern's "All the Things You Are" or the Gershwin's "The Man I Love."
Of course, then there's all the Sondheim stuff. "The Road You Didn't Take," I think.
So, can I have three choices?
Posted by Kerry @ 07/02/2002 10:06 AM PST

BK said a "non-theater song, right?
Since his choice is a gorgeous Victor Young song for a film, I think I'll list my own Young song, also from a film:
"Stella By Starlight"...haunts me to my very core!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 07/02/2002 10:59 AM PST

Yes indeedy, Bruce, amazon.com has an "Edit Your Review" button when you are looking at your own review. I have changed it to 5 stars, and it will appear thusly in "under 5 days".
And a note to anyone else who writes and amazon.com review: When you pick the number of stars--and I did pick 5 stars the first time--you may make the mistake of twirling your mouse's scroll dial as I did and that may change the number of stars unbeknownst to you. I almost did that again and reduced it to 1 star!! So proofread carefully.
Kerry: He said non-theatre songs. I definitely agree with Bruce's "When I Fall in Love". More after some cogitation. Think, Kimlets! Cogitate! Sharpen up the edges of your wit!
Posted by William F. Orr @ 07/02/2002 11:07 AM PST

Alright, I've allowed you to COERCE me into changing my vote on Amazon.com. I chose four stars and I MEANT four stars! I mean, let's be HONEST here, okay? But, what the hey -- I changed it to five stars. Okay? You happy NOW?
Posted by Robert Armin @ 07/02/2002 11:36 AM PST

Okay, now that I've said that...
Among my favorite non-show songs are Why Try To Change Me Now?, Star Dust, The Linda Song (from Barry Manilow's Even Now album) and The Beatles' I Will, which, like Star Dust, is a perfect matching of music and lyrics.
Posted by Robert Armin @ 07/02/2002 11:43 AM PST

Yeah, Mr. High-Tone (and also High-Buff) Great American Novelist. As my Comrade in Armins says, what makes you think I intended to give you five stars, anyway? What you? A General?
8-)>
('Course I did.)
Posted by William F. Orr @ 07/02/2002 11:47 AM PST

Back when I was a wee twig of a sprig of a Benjamin Kritzer type thing, I told anyone who would listen that my favorite song was "In the Cool, Cool, Cool of the Evening" from what was that Bing Crosby movie? I wish I'd written that.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 07/02/2002 11:49 AM PST

Did I misremember, Mr. Robert Armin? Did I mishear that you'd meant to leave five stars? If so, please change it back to four stars because I would never coerce anyone to do anything. I might nudge, oh, yes, I might nudge, but if the person doesn't want to budge then I don't nudge, because I would never want anyone to fudge. If four stars is what you meant then four stars is fine by me. One star is fine by me. If someone posts a good review here I merely suggest they post it there. After all, reviews should be posted here, there and everywhere. But I do not coerce. Oh, no, I do not coerce because I do not like the look of that word. Oh, I may nudge, oh, yes, I may nudge but I would never coerce. Thus I say and say no more.
Posted by bk @ 07/02/2002 12:03 PM PST

Okay, okay! You NUDGED -- you noodge.
:-)
Posted by Robert Armin @ 07/02/2002 12:05 PM PST

As Eleanor Bron once said to Paul McCartney -- "I can say no more."
Posted by Robert Armin @ 07/02/2002 01:14 PM PST

My choice would be Yesterday because it is the most recorded song in the world and I wouldn't allow Michael Jackson to own the rights to it and therefore the song would make me well off and I would be able to produce albums by Bruce Kimmel.
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 07/02/2002 02:31 PM PST

I LOVE Eleanor Bron!
Posted by Donald @ 07/02/2002 04:46 PM PST

Eleanor Bron is TO DIE FOR!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 07/02/2002 04:54 PM PST

Unchained Melody
;)
Posted by Lolita @ 07/02/2002 06:00 PM PST

I wish I'd written:
"Over the Rainbow"
"The Man That Got Away"
"Blues in the Night"
"Moon River"
"Tammy"
"God Bless the Child"
"Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out"
"The Last Time I Saw Paris"
Posted by William F. Orr @ 07/02/2002 06:00 PM PST

Yes, Lolita My Love, "Unchained Melody".
And "Somewhere My Love", (Lara's Theme) from Dr. Chicago. Not to be confused with Dr. Detroit.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 07/02/2002 06:06 PM PST

OK. It was early when I read this, so I made a mistake; I thought it said theatre song. So shoot me.
From a monetary point of view, Since Michael Shayne already wrote "Yesterday," I'd say "Happy Birthday" (those Hill sisters knew how to get money), "Autumn Leaves" or "Always."
As far as songs I love, I'd have to go with "Dream." Johnny Mercer probably wouldn't mind since he had so many other songs.
Posted by Kerry @ 07/02/2002 06:52 PM PST

A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square
Sophisticated Lady
Lush Life
Rainbow Sleeve (Tom Waits)
Stars (Janis Ian)
Barbara Allen
Posted by td @ 07/02/2002 07:06 PM PST

I wish I had written "That's All" or "When I Fall in Love" or "Waters of March".
In other news.. I watched my new DVD of Jimmy Neutron. Overall it was a very enjoyable movie with some very funny bits in it. The supporting characters are extremely funny. I can easily see how Nickelodeon and Paramount immediately decided to turn this project from a pilot to a tv a movie first. The animation is slick -- it's not as impressive as Toy Story (or II) but most of that is because this movie is more frenetic and MTV in style (lots of fast cutting and music video style shots). Watching it a second time with my 3 year old nephew was even more fun.
Anyway.. I mention this movie because Jimmy and Benjamin would have been friends.. they are both way too smart for their own good, the dialogues they have with their parents are quite similar and they both live for adventure...
Just my .02
-Craig
Posted by Craig @ 07/02/2002 07:36 PM PST

Oh, I am so, so, so, so very sorry, my dear, dear Bruce Kimmel San and my equally dear, dear freedunit san, and all you other Kimlalians and Hainsidians. I have not posted in just days. And I will tell you why.
I have been sitting here on my eightenth-century mahogony couch with red velvet fabric and gold medalions like so much sushi. (There, you see, I do have a sense of humor about myself and my somwhat curious professional name, about which I shall tell you some other time. Teehee.)
I have been sitting here reading and rereading and rerereading the most wonderful novel.
And you know what it is and who wrote it. And I consider myself very fortunate to be a close personal friend of the author.
Five stars say I.
Admiringly,
Your Sushi
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 07/02/2002 08:14 PM PST

Oh, I am so, so, so, so very sorry, my dear, dear Bruce Kimmel San and my equally dear, dear freedunit san, and all you other Kimlalians and Hainsidians. I have not posted in just days. And I will tell you why.
I have been sitting here on my eightenth-century mahogony couch with red velvet fabric and gold medalions like so much sushi. (There, you see, I do have a sense of humor about myself and my somwhat curious professional name, about which I shall tell you some other time. Teehee.)
I have been sitting here reading and rereading and rerereading the most wonderful novel.
And you know what it is and who wrote it. And I consider myself very fortunate to be a close personal friend of the author.
Five stars say I.
Admiringly,
Your Sushi
P.S. Right now I wish I had written "When the Red Red Robin Comes Bob Bob Bobbin' Along". Also "Young Love" because it is so beautiful and idealistic.
st
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 07/02/2002 08:16 PM PST

I acutally don't like too many non-theatre songs, but two that comes to mind is
DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME
or
IF I KNEW YOU WERE COMIN' I'D A BAKED A CAKE
Posted by Paul Fairie @ 07/02/2002 08:17 PM PST

Oops!
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 07/02/2002 08:18 PM PST

Well, Sushi, it is good to have you back where you belong (Bette Midler, notwithstanding). Now, do not forget to post about whatever novel you have just read and have given five stars to - you must review it at amazon and barnesandnoble because your voice must be heard - we must have a Sushi Review. I feel you are on a roll - a California roll. By the way, did you ever hear the Meltz and Ernest song, Two Shrimps and a California Roll (And You)? Use the handy dandy unseemly search box and you will most assuredly find it.
Posted by bk @ 07/02/2002 08:38 PM PST

It IS nice to have Sushi back where she belongs. My dearest Sushi, we missed the grace, elegance and beauty you lend to the site. Do you think it would be possible to get an autographed picture of you to add grace, elegance and beauty to my humble abode?
Posted by Kerry @ 07/02/2002 10:28 PM PST

Of the more contemporary songs, I can't think of any that move me more than "Superstar" (Leon Russell-Bonnie Bramlett).
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 07/02/2002 11:24 PM PST

Many hours have passed in thought. I considered "Here There & Everywhere" or "In My Life" by McCartney & Lennon and "Paul Simon's "The Boxer" or "Bridge..." My pick would be "Beyond The Sea" (La Mer. Bobby Darin's version is one of my all time favourite performances of any song.
Posted by Tom Guest @ 07/02/2002 11:30 PM PST

I know one of you recommended to me the Paper Mill recording of "Follies" as "the one" that would be most complete.
I got it, and I think it's amazing. While no cast will ever quite replace the original in my heart, this recording is breathtakingly alive in its own right.
I cannot recall who recommended it, but thank you, thank you , thank you......
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 07/02/2002 11:53 PM PST

My dear, dear Bruce Kimmel San.
I have left my review of the book I just read on amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com. I said many nice things, and I gave it five stars.
Anytime you want me to say more nice things, please let me know.
Your Sushi
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 07/03/2002 07:38 AM PST

There are 15 reviews on Amazon (including mine) most of the are raves for First Nudie Musical. There is one for the paperback edition of BK and a few more for the harcover. Take a look.
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 07/03/2002 08:54 AM PST

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