haines his way

07/11/2002:
"THE EPHEMERA OF OUR DAILY LIVES"

Well, dear readers, I have answered all your excellent questions, although there weren’t all that many to answer (several prominent posters went missing). If they do get questions in after I’ve posted these here notes, then I’ll answer them during the day.
I had a very nice day yesterday, a marked improvement from the day before. I ate quite a large dinner at a Mexican restaurant called Casa Vega. By the end of the meal I wanted to vomit on the table – I literally could not move. I was stuffed to the gills is what I was. It was ever so disgusting to be me after that fine meal.
Then I watched the first half of a film entitled Innerspace, with Dennis Quaid, Martin Short and Meg Ryan. I do like lots of this film, but like most of Joe Dante’s films it just gets too silly for its own good. I’ll watch the rest of it later tonight. I’m also going to see Minority Report tonight, and I shall have a full Minority report for you tomorrow.
Has anyone noticed that today’s notes are just a bunch of pleasantries and that they are filled with what I affectionately like to call the ephemera of our lives? I just blather on and on about inconsequential things because that is what I do. I am just killing time until the answers to your questions appear. Yes, Virginia, I am perpetrating a homicide on time, I am killing fershluganah time, because I do not have a single thought inside my head at the moment. I did have some thoughts in my head but they deserted me like rats on a sinking ship. Therefore I am murdering time with pleasantries and the ephemera of our daily lives.
Oh, perhaps we should just move on to the answers to your excellent questions before I put myself to sleep. Let’s all click on the Unseemly Button below and see what the next section has to offer. Perhaps it will offer your username and password – although I will never ask you for either item.

Well, haven’t we wasted enough time with pleasantries and the ephemera of our daily lives? I do believe we have, and so by gum and by golly let us get to your excellent questions.
Ben asks if I have any more information on my impending publicity trip to New York for the signing at Footlight Records. I’m afraid I have been errant and truant, but I’ll be talking to them this week and will try to lock down a date. Have you ever tried to lock down a date, especially if the date doesn’t want to be locked down? Worse that trying to lock down a date is trying to lock down a fig or worse yet, a fig Newton. In any case, there are so many things happening at once it’s been hard to clear a date that works. But as soon as I know, you’ll know.
Donna quote Miss Rosalind Russell in Wonderful Town and asks what do I think of the USA, NRA, TVA? What do I think of our Mother’s Day? Well, to start with the latter I think it’s fine that all mothers have a day – and not only the mothers of children, but all the other mothers out there (you know who you are). As to the USA, it is a fine place except for the periodic goofballs one must deal with. As to the NRA, I like the New Roman Alphabet very much, and the TVA (Truly Vicious Athletes), I think they should be drummed out of the athletic association.
Lolita asks what exactly is the page limit for a novella. I don’t believe it has anything to do with pages, because a small amount of words can be stretched over a large amount of pages – it has to do with word count. I had the exact word count for a novella, but I can’t find it. My memory is that it was in the 30,000 words range and that anything above was considered a novel. My novel, for example, is 49,401 words. That is a novel according to those in the know. I once mentioned that I’d been thinking about writing a mystery – did I have a plot worked out? I did. It was going to be a mystery set in the world of Broadway. A huge Broadway diva is murdered during a comeback tour of her most famous vehicle. Who could have done it? Everyone hated her, so everyone is a suspect. I had the murderer (it was very clever) but hadn’t worked out much beyond that, including who the amateur sleuth would have been (maybe the stage manager, maybe a press rep, who knows). I just couldn’t get with it, frankly. What are my favorite kind of M&Ms? The kind with almonds in them. What time period would I like to live in other than now? That’s hard – I think it might have been fun to be around in the mid-twenties – to be a real Tin Pan Alley songwriter, or even a silent filmmaker. What color are my suitcases? I know you will find this hard to believe but I have no suitcases. I travel with one count them one overnight bag. If I’m going to be somewhere for any length of time, I Fed Ex a box of whatever clothing I’ll need.
Michael Shayne asks what my favorite studio lot to work on was, and what was my fondest memory or sight working at that studio? Well, I was fortunate enough to work on most of the big lots during the seventies. My films were shot at Raleigh Studios (then Producers Studio) and The Culver Studios (then Laird Studios). The most interesting thing about Laird (now Culver Studios) was that when we wrapped editing, my office was taken over by the editing team of a little film called A Boy’s Life. That little film was later retitled E.T. Before it was retitled, by the way (BTW, in Internet lingo), I received a call from Universal (well, my commercial agent received a call) asking for a buyout on a commercial I was in – to be used in a film. They offered us $1,000.00 and we accepted. The film was then called A Boy’s Life. The rest is history. It is nice to be in one of the most successful films of all time, even for the two seconds in which I appear (in the phone company commercial which gives ET the idea to “phone home”). The two lots I worked most on were Paramount and the Columbia Ranch in Burbank. The first television show I guest-starred in was on the Paramount lot. I can’t tell you the feeling as a twenty-two year old, driving on that lot and actually becoming a professional actor. I’d always loved Paramount films more than any other studios. I was in awe. As I made my way to the stage we were shooting on I passed Michael Connors, who was shooting Mannix on the lot. He waved at me and smiled and I felt like I had a new home. What is the difference between the various color processes (such as Technicolor, DeLuxe, Metrocolor, Eastmancolor, Pathecolor, etc.) and what is my preference? Well, after 1954 or so when three-strip Technicolor gave up the ghost, all those processes were basically the same in terms of the camera negative – all Eastman. It was the printing process that differed in the case of Technicolor. Tech used a imbibition dye transfer printing process that yielded the most dense lustrous and extraordinary color ever. With the added benefit that Tech prints never ever faded, whereas Eastman prints, prior to 1980ish, did. In 1980ish, Eastman came up with LPP film stock and that stock hasn’t been prone to fading. As a kid (and I just yesterday wrote about this) I only liked Technicolor – I thought Color by DeLuxe was drab and I didn’t like the name. In the seventies, Technicolor sold all their imbibition machines to Red China because it wasn’t cost effective doing small print runs, which is all movies had in those days. The last imbibition dye transfer film that was printed in Technicolor was, I believe, either Chinatown or Godfather II. Had Technicolor only been able to see three years into the future and to Star Wars, they would have known that suddenly they would be getting orders for 2000 or 3000 prints rather than three hundred prints. And they would have thrived, let me tell you. I’m told that there is now a working imbibition machine at Technicolor and that certain films have been printed that way recently.
Craig has his usual mountain of questions. One of Craig’s pet peeves (I wonder if his pet peeve is trained or if it poops on the floor) are DVD chapter stops with spoilers. He asks how I feel about that. Well, I hate that, because if there are spoiler chapter stops and I haven’t seen the movie, they can spoil things. However, that said, I never look at the list of chapter stops. How did I decide where to place the chapter stops on Nudie Musical. They were placed by Ana Barredo, my production coordinator at Image Entertainment, and then approved by my very own self. She did a fine job and she also titled them, with a little input from me. Can I go into how our DVD was created, in terms of menu design, the rolling donut, the insert, etc. Did I work with the animator – and were other versions shown to me. I didn’t work with the animator – he came up with the design and showed it to me and I thought it clever and very amusing (the dildo being chased by the logo). The rolling donut was his idea too, but the actual donut was mine – I bought it at Winchell’s, photographed it, sent it to him, and then ate the donut. I left the packaging almost totally to them and then just made a few comments here and there. The only thing I told them from the start was that I wanted it to be fun and clever and they delivered that in spades, I think. Since I love time travel stories, what was my take on Back To the Future? And Time after Time? And was I a fan of Quantum Leap? I love Back to the Future – I found it a virtually perfect script and I thought it was beautifully realized. I also really enjoyed Time after Time, just a wonderful movie with wonderful performances from Malcolm McDowell (his best, I think, or at least his most charming), Mary Steenburgen and David Warner. I’ve never seen Quantum Leap – at the time it went on the air I was no longer watching series television. What in my childhood got me the worst punishment, and what in my childhood was I most proud of having accomplished? Well, in my pre-teen years I suppose the worst punishment (and I can’t recall the misdeed that warranted it) was not getting to watch Zorro – that was really upsetting). Most proud accomplishment as a child – doing my first public performance as an actor, at camp as The Pied Piper of Hamelin. My only memory is that it was done around a swimming pool. Do I like carnivals, street fairs, fringe festivals? Oh, I have tolerated them, but I’m not a huge fan of those types of events. I’ve been on both sides of the art vs. commerce battle – Can I name an instance when I had to sacrifice the business side for the artistic? Not really – one simply never knows what will sell and what won’t. One can guess, but it’s all fate. We all thought Unsung Irving Berlin would be a tremendous hit – all those never before heard Berlin songs in a beautiful two CD package. No one cared. There was no predicting that – it was disappointing but what can you do? We all thought that Michelle Nicastro’s Toonful album would do well, but we had no idea it would do as well as it ultimately did – no one could have predicted that either. Have I ever sacrificed the artistic for the business. No, I would hope not. Even if I had to compromise because of a budget, I never ever skimped on quality – I just sometimes had to find clever solutions, which I’m happy to say I did more often than not. What is one thing that you probably don’t know about me that would surprise you? I was a huge wrestling fan as a kid. I used to go every single week (my father got press seats in the first row). If I were a superhero what would be my special super power – but it can’t be flying (how poopy of you), strength or invisibility. Well, my superpower would be the ability to eat as much as I damn well please and never gain weight. That would be a fine super power. Since Guy Haines “borrowed” my singing style is that the reason I no longer sing? Well, yes, why bother really, when someone has usurped your singing style. I mean, really, damn them, damn them all to hell. Have Guy and I ever thought of doing a duet? Heavens no, who would want to be in a booth with him at the same time. All he does is swing his fershluganah racquet, and I could get injured. What fad items did/do I own? Well I certainly owned a slinky and a hula-hoop. I currently own a spud gun, a Godzilla bubble maker and several other cool things, which I keep in my cool things case. Finally, Craig asks when in tarnation our first handy-dandy celebrity interview is going up? Well, I am happy to inform you that our premiere interview with Hairspray’s very own Kerry Butler will be up for your perusal one week from Friday. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? We will have a whole new section here at haineshisway.com – The Unseemly Interview Section, and Miss Butler’s interview is a total delight.
Tom from Oz asks whatever happened to the Kander and Ebb musical of The Skin of Our Teeth, Over and Over? Well, I believe it’s been shelved after its initial production at the Signature, which I gather was not very good. There doesn’t seem to be any forward momentum on The Visit either – a shame. It would be fun to have a new Kander and Ebb musical on Broadway.
Kerry mentions that one of the CDs that I produced was a joint production between Varese Sarabande and the other label I created. What was the reason for that and how does such a collaboration work? Actuall, there were no joint productions – Varese was the distributor of the label I created, and as distributor had their logo on all our CDs. Kerry also mentions that he typed a rather lengthy post about the Nudie Musical DVD, but forgot to put his name in the name box, and when he sent it it was kicked back to him, only his post had completely disappeared. He would like to know who to bitch-slap for such a thing. Certainly it is a question for Mr. Mark Bakalor, who knows from such things. I don’t know from such things but the same thing has happened to me after I’d typed an entire notes one day – it just got obliterated somehow. Kerry also wants to know who came up with the quirky Varese Sarabande logo? I believe it was one of the original owners of the company, Dub Taylor, and I believe it was some sort of ink-blot thing he did. When I created the Spotlight Series I had them add a top hat to it along with a spotlight. What lyrics do I consider to be the height of pithy? Well, certainly You Must Meet My Wife from A Little Night Music has pith. And I’m told that much of Urinetown has pith, put that is only natural. Did my brother and I ever have one argument that really put me over the edge? Oh, we had several altercations which put me over the edge, but I’ll save them for another time and another place, if you get my drift.
S. Woody White asks what the proper response is that one should give when finding out about the passing away of a person one really didn’t like at all. I believe the proper and appropriate response is to put on a pointy party hat and colored tights and pantaloons and immediately do the Pudding Dance.
Sandra asks if I will name a character after her in the musical I’m writing. Well, I might have several months ago, but alas, all the characters have names now and Sandra isn’t amongst them. Next time, though.
Well, that was a fine lot of questions, wasn’t it? I do hope you enjoyed the answers, and if you need any further illumination, just ask in today’s posts and I shall do my best to accommodate.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must go hither and thither and also yon and frankly I feel we must all get back to the daily ephemera of our lives. Today’s topic of discussion: What is your favorite amusement park ride you’ve ever been on, and why? It can be from your childhood or your adulthood or merely from your hood hood. Post away, my pretties.

Replies: 56 Unseemly Comments

Some last minute questions from the errant and truant.
William F. Orr asks who sang Where Is a Man? for the character of Eunice in Nudie Musical? A wonderful singer named Valerie Gillette.
Ron Pulliam asks how I manage to get DVDs in advance of their streetdates. I have one store that gives me stuff on the Friday before a Tuesday street date. Then there's a used store near me that gets in tons of advace copies of DVDs, somtimes months in advance - and if I'm there at the right time I grab them.
Freedunit asks by what means I wrote Benjamin Kritzer. I wrote is as a Word document, formatted it to my liking and then sent that file to the publisher. I also did a "dummy" book with my friend Grant Geissman, and we sent that too - that had the typestyles and layout I favored, and while it took them longer than it should have to get it the way I wanted, the result is very nice indeed. Freedunit asks how the labelling was achieved on the Benjamin Kritzer gift CD - I had them duplicated at a place near me - a professional duplicator, and they do the labelling. Mr. Mark Bakalor created the little cover insert. Do I have any info on the durability of CDRs versus factory-produced? No, but I have never had either go bad on me. Have I ever contemplated producing a pop album completely distinct and apart from a theatrical milieu. I certainly would consider it, as long as I felt I could bring something special to the table. For example, I would love to produce for Barry Manilow or Melissa Manchester, or Carly Simon or folks like that - that would be great fun I should think. Have I worked with Phoebe Snow? Would I? Haven't and of course I would. What about Tovah Felshuh? What ABOUT Tovah Feldshuh? I'd work with her and in fact came close to but for reasons I can't remember, it didn't work out. What is my vocal range? I can be heard for three blocks on a good day. If you're talking about a singing range, I no longer sing. What is the longest you can hold a note. I can hold a note for two days, if it's an interesting note written by an interesting person. Why do you suppose that Guy Haines and Donna Murphy do not know from whistling? Some know from whistling and some don't - they apparently don't, although I do not know the reasons. Would it be unseemly and therefore acceptable to ask Guy Haines questions on Ask BK Day? Certainly - I can pass them along, although I've been thinking we should have a one-off Ask Guy Haines Day. What do you think of that idea? What is Guy Haines' vocal range? He says five notes - but I've heard him do at least an octave and sometimes even more than that. What is the longest note Guy Haines ever held? Actually, that's a question. I have no idea, but I'd like to know. Do I like chocolate? Love it? Do I have a favorite chocolate? I love chocolate, especially dark chocolate, and my fave is See's Dark Chocolate Nuts and Chews.
Posted by bk @ 07/11/2002 12:33 AM PST

BK:
Regarding recording a duet with Guy Haines.
You said: "Heavens no, who would want to be in a booth with him at the same time. All he does is swing his fershluganah racquet, and I could get injured"
With todays technology you can record your vocals first. Then when you are a safe distance from the swinging raquet you can then record his vocals. Then you can mix the two vocals together.
What about that? Then all off us out there can listen with great pride to a duet album with (in alphabetical order) Guy Haines and Bruce Kimmel or (in revese alphabetical order) Bruce Kimmel and Guy Haines.
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 07/11/2002 04:04 AM PST

Hooray, Hooray, yesterday, which, in the early portion, was a long and tedious day, turned into a HAPPY HAPPY DAY because there was a priority mail package waiting for me after work, and I didn't even have to go to the post office to retrieve it because my nice neighbor happened to be around when the postman delivered (he only rang once) and took it in for me. Benjamin and FNM have arrived in perfect shape. I've listened to the BK CD and this weekend I will delve into the DVD and begin the book. I want to have time to savor it so it's sitting on my night table where I can look at it in an...ticipation (it's really hard to type that out to sound like it came from Rocky Horror, oh well). I'm so happy I may go back to calling myself Benjamin, though I wouldn't want to confuse anyone. No one has called me Benjamin for years and I only got called Benjamin as a child when I misbehaved. And now, back to work. I brought some CDs to the office today and will listen to among others, A Grand Night for Singing and Drat the Cat, both produced by You Know Who (YKW)
Posted by Ben @ 07/11/2002 05:05 AM PST

Thank you for the answers. They are interesting as always.
Did Donna Murphy bother to attempt the whistling in studio, or was it by then a foregone conclusion that she would not whistle, given that someone else performed the whistling passages in the theatre?
I love your ideas of working with Barry Manilow, Melissa Manchester, and Carly Simon. It would be great to hear what you could do with them and Phoebe Snow and Tovah Felshuh. I love Manchester’s and Snow’s voices. Snow in particular is a tremendous musician; she possesses huge and still undemonstrated talent, if you can believe it, given all the talent she has exhibited. I think Feldshuh is pretty wonderful, too.
Favorite amusment park ride?
The American Eagle, at the time it was built the biggest all-wood-construction roller coaster in the world, at then Marriott’s Great America, Gurnee, Illinois. I also love a Tilt-a-Whirl, but when it is over I stumble off the ride bitch-slapping haphazardly and randomly—and I for one should never have cake before riding it…
Posted by freedunit @ 07/11/2002 06:32 AM PST

As I recall it, Donna not whistling was a foregone conclusion. I suppose Guy and I could do a duet by not being in the same room - but frankly I harbor just a little animosity towards him for taking my style and making it his. But, then again, someone had to take my style - I wasn't doing much with it and now Mr. Haines has carved out quite a lovely non-career for himself. Interestingly, the duets on Haines His Way were all recorded seperately - although Mr. Haines was always present, he'd already done a scratch vocal on his part of the duet - then when he had the other person's vocal to work against, he did his final vocal to match theirs.
Posted by bk @ 07/11/2002 07:24 AM PST

Was that method easier or faster than attempting a live duet?
Have you ever bitch-slapped Guy Haines, or vice versa?
Posted by freedunit @ 07/11/2002 07:30 AM PST

I think my favorite ride is the Tilt-a-Whirl. I like amusement parks but having a fear of open high places, I am not inclined to ride roller coasters or (especially) ferris wheels. They scare the out of me. I did take the Haunted House ride at Disneyland Paris (when I was there in 1992 it was still EuroDisney). That's not really a roller coaster but it does go up a bit on the tracks while going from one section to another but most of it is enclosed so it was fun, not fearful.
Posted by Ben @ 07/11/2002 07:34 AM PST

My favorite amusement park ride is the one that makes the most kids barf!
: )
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 07/11/2002 08:18 AM PST

Some of my favorite rides:
The Hulk @ Islands of Adventure in Orlando. Probably the most action packed rollercoaster I have ever been on - and dear readers, I have been to all 50 states.
The Dragon Coaster at Rye Playland. I will always have a special place in my heart for this coaster from my youth. It also happens to be the same rollercoaster featured in the movie Fatal Attraction, which coincedently, has NOTHING to do with my youth.
Tower of Terror at Disney MGM
Spiderman The Ride - Islands of Adventure
and I also love (it's called by many names) the carny ride that you stand up against the wall and it spins furiously and you stick to the wall as they drop the floor. Always gives me a rush.
and Ultimately, the ride that life brings you in the amusement park called "ME". That's always one that I enjoy...
Posted by Craig @ 07/11/2002 08:23 AM PST

Oh.. I should also add The Pirates of the Carribean....
Posted by Craig @ 07/11/2002 08:24 AM PST

As a true musical theatre aficionado, my favorite amusement park ride must be...of course...the Carousel! (Especially at Carnivals)
Posted by Pam @ 07/11/2002 08:31 AM PST

I agree with Craig on that "nameless" ride that whirls you round and round, faster and faster -- every once in a while, some idiot will let go of his hand grips and venture toward the center where, inevitably, he falls to his knees and appears tobe be either swooning or praying. I've only ridden such a ride in Italy, so I don't know what it would be called here...and I never understood its Italian moniker...but it sure seems to pull a few Gs!!!!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 07/11/2002 10:00 AM PST

Pam! What a wonderful response!
Posted by freedunit @ 07/11/2002 10:32 AM PST

Pam - do you also like the STATE FAIR? "Isn't it kinda fun?"
Posted by Craig @ 07/11/2002 10:34 AM PST

So yesterday we did male duets. Now.. how about male or female trios or quartets? Not just 3 or 4 singing in a number, but a song crafted specifically for 3 or 4 people
to start:
Fugue for Tin Horns
Getting Married Today
And This Is My Beloved
Johanna
You Could Drive A Person Crazy
30/90 and Louder than Words
your turn..
Posted by Craig @ 07/11/2002 10:46 AM PST

Now, Soon, Later -- Sondheim, "A Little Night Music."
The Tea Party -- Herman, "Dear World."
Prima Donna -- Lloyd Webber, "Phantom of the Opera"
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 07/11/2002 11:53 AM PST

When I used to spend a lot of time at our county fair, I just couldn't get enough of the Zipper. Being spun and flipped in that little cage was simply too too. I do enjoy most roller coasters. And I also rather enjoyed the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland. The one ride I simply cannot stomach (a very appropriate term) is the Octopus or Spider or whatever-the-hell-you-want-to-call-it. All the G-forces, flips and such of other rides doesn't bother me in the least, but that fershluganah thing makes me nauseous every time.
Posted by Jed @ 07/11/2002 12:56 PM PST

I haven't been to many amusement parks. But when I did, it was the "Rotor" that I loved as a kid, the one that spins and plasters you to the wall, and then the floor falls out.
Some years ago my Joe and I went with two friends to Six Flags Great Adventure in New Jersey. Our friends were more interested in drinking bear and eating hot dogs, but Joe and I rode everything. We dressed for the water rides and got soaked. We rode their version of the Rotor, which turned vertical so you were spinning high above the park. We rode Free Fall, which I thought was pretty tame.
And then we discovered The Twister! It was a glorified roller coaster encased in a cylindrical tube. You start out a hundred feet in the air pointing straight down, and then you fall, turn, twist, ride to the top and redo the twists backwards--and it scared the bejeezus out of me! We rode it four times, making sure we were right in front for maximum fear factor. I loved it. (Next month it was shut down as unsafe. Aaargh!) Our friends refused to go on it. I just told them nothing frightened me after Joe's driving.
The one I didn't like at all was the traditional wooden roller coaster. All that creaking wood just seemed ready to collapse at any moment--and of course they do that intentionally.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 07/11/2002 01:39 PM PST

Bruce,
Thank you for all the answers. You STILL have never said which person you would like to sup with. Sure, you want to know who we'd sup with, but we're not allowed to know about you?! Oy!
Favorite rides: As a kid it was the Matterhorn and the Teacups at Disneyland. I took my nephew on the Teacups a few years ago, and they're still pretty good-- but only if can get them going really fast!
As an adult, it would be any great rollercoaster. The wooden ones are fun but a little hard on the bones, although my chiropractor benefits from this. The Batman ride at Magic Mountain is very good; I can't wait to try their new one.
My partner (who hates roller coasters) took me to Cedar Point a few years ago. The Magnum (with this incredible drop) and the roller coaster with the two tracks and two sets of cars (there's also one at Magic Mountain) are the best.
None of these would now compare with the greatest thrill ride of all-- skydiving. But if I can't jump out of a plane, a good rollercoaster will do.
At fairs and such, the Rotor (the one where centrifugal force presses you against the side of the thing as the floor drops out) is one of the better ones.
Posted by Kerry @ 07/11/2002 01:53 PM PST

Alright George and Rachel-- it's your turn.
Posted by Kerry @ 07/11/2002 01:54 PM PST

Has anyone ever seen Sushi and freedunit together? Hmmmmm....
Posted by Kerry @ 07/11/2002 01:55 PM PST

No, but I've seen Sushi and Guy Haines together.
Posted by Robert Armin @ 07/11/2002 02:03 PM PST

Oh, the merry searchers are at it again - searching merrily. It is so amusing to see what they are searching for and to try to imagine what on earth they think they will find. But search away, merry searchers, if it brings you pleasure.
As to who I would like to sup with - well, I've been lucky enough to sup with some pretty terrific people - I'd like, for various and sundried reasons, to sup with Miss Barbra Streisand, I think that might just be fun. And there are lots of dead people I would like to sup with. I would like to sup with Miss Harper Lee.
Now, you merry searchers, why don't you just come right out in the open and post - tell me exactly what it is you'd like to find and I'll make it easy on you, oh merry searchers (or searcher). I'm very obliging, you know. And if what you hope to find doesn't exist here at haineshisway.com well if you just come here and post then I'll type whatever you like and then when you search you'll be able to find it. How is that, oh merry searchers?
Posted by bk @ 07/11/2002 02:10 PM PST

Gee, Bruce, I thought Benjamin Kritzer was your first book. I just checked out Barnes and Noble and found out that you had co-authored the definitive book on Reservoir Limnology. It's pretty expensive though -- I'll wait for a used copy.
Reservoir Limnology
In Stock:Ships within 24 hours .
Kent W. Thornton,With Bruce L. Kimmel,With Forrest E. Payne / Hardcover / Wiley, John & Sons, Incorporated / April 1990
Our Price: $225.00
P.S. What's the L stand for?
Posted by Robert Armin @ 07/11/2002 02:29 PM PST

BK:
Re: Back to the Future. I agree. I think it is one of the best written scripts. There was such an attention to detail and Robert Zemeckis and all the people responsible for continuity, production design, etc reall executed what I believe to be a flawless time travel adventure. Part II was not horrible, it just lacked the heart of the 1st one. What I did find impressive was the ability to shoot that film years later and revisit the scenes from the first movie as if they used the same celluloid. I also think the casting was a major coup. Christopher Lloyd was stellar and Michael J. Fox was perfect as Marty. His biography tells about the whole mishegas of landing that role. Originally it was to be played by Eric Stoltz..but it was all to clear to everyone involved that Eric was not right for the part.
Anyway.. thanks for the excellent answers to everyone's questions. And I'll believe you about the interviews when I see them for my own eyes...because I would hate to be responsible for bitchslapping you if you are just teasing us about these wonderful interviews.
Oh.. and Bruce.. I would never ask you for your username and password...but perhaps you can email me your check routing #, account # and next check in your sequence...
Posted by Craig @ 07/11/2002 02:39 PM PST

Robert,
Personally, I think it stands for lulabelle...but I doubt he would ever admit to that :)
Posted by Craig @ 07/11/2002 02:41 PM PST

Back to the Future is my favorite trilogy, as well (much more consistent in style than the Star Wars trilogy). My wife and I actually spent the day at the Back to Back to Back premiere of the third film in New York (preceded by the first two). Lea Thompson -- a very underrated actress -- is also terrific in all three.
And yes, I know there are more films calling themselves Star Wars, but as far as I'm concerned it's a trilogy.
Posted by Robert Armin @ 07/11/2002 02:47 PM PST

Anybody else here ever drink bear?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 07/11/2002 02:50 PM PST

The L stand for "LOSER" because it is clear he is trying to trade on the popularity of my name - don't you think? Why else would someone named Herman Pellman call himself Bruce L. Kimmel? My middle initial, however, is not L. To L with L, I say. My middle initial, coincidentally, is the same as Benjamin Kritzer's.
Posted by bk @ 07/11/2002 02:53 PM PST

I am quite partial to the original Haunted House at Disneyland, Anaheim, but that's because I supposedly have a ghost there.
Decades ago, just before the ride opened, Gary Owens (of Laugh-In fame) hosted a contest on his radio show. The contest was to send an original ghost story to the radio station he was working at, and the winners would be read on the air, along with the ghosts being given special residence at the Haunted Mansion. My story was about a ghost we had captured on film at the graveyard in Yountville, California (otherwise known as Hangtown, from whence comes the Hangtown Fry, a dish involving scrambled eggs, bacon, and oysters, but that's another story, never mind, anyway...). Well, mine was one of the first stories sent in, and one of the first stories read on the air. In fact, they had to stop asking for submissions for the contest, because they got so many responses.
Little did they realize that the ghost was real. We had, indeed, captured the ghost on film, and since my father used the bathroom as his darkroom at the time, the ghost had taken a facination from that time on to flushing the toilet in the middle of the night. This was very disturbing, not because it was a ghost but because of the noise the ghost made. So we took a new picture of the ghost and sent it along with my story to the radio station. From what I've heard, they still can't explain why their toilets flush on their own in the middle of the night.
I don't make these things up! Honest!!!
Posted by S. Woody White @ 07/11/2002 02:55 PM PST

Robert-
I agree about BBTF and Star Wars. I will say that BTTF III is a good movie.. but defintely not inspired like the original... but as far as bringing the movie full circle, it did a great job... I just HATED the ending though..
Posted by Craig @ 07/11/2002 02:57 PM PST

BK-
Coincidence that BK's middle name is yours MY FOOT!
Posted by Craig @ 07/11/2002 03:37 PM PST

Has anyone ever seen Sushi and Dame Edna together?
Posted by Kerry @ 07/11/2002 04:50 PM PST

AMUSEMENT PARK RIDES: I stopped going on rides after my stomach was left at the top of the Parachute Jump at Knotts Berry Farm. I like carousels chiefly because of the music and because the horses don't really move. I also like to LOOK at carousel horses ever since a friend of mine took me with her when she got permission to photograph the carousel horses being renovated at the Santa Monica Pier. The detail and variety of the carving and art work made me a real appreciator.
ADD TO TRIOS AND QUARTETS:
Moon in My Window (Do I Hear a Waltz?)
Lida Rose (The Music Man)
LEA THOMPSON: I agree wholeheartedly with Robert Armin. Lea is a wonderful actress as well as singer and dancer!
Posted by Donna - Cabaret West @ 07/11/2002 05:13 PM PST

Has anyone ever seen Sushi and Jimmy Hoffa together?
Posted by Kerry @ 07/11/2002 05:34 PM PST

What, exactly, is a "merry searcher" and what clues does one of them drop so that others can see that they're at it again?
As for supping or dining out:
"I'd like to sup with my baby tonight...
To fill my cup with my baby tonight.
To laugh it up with my baby tonight, but it's Too Darn Hot."
Is Harper Lee dead? When did she die?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 07/11/2002 05:38 PM PST

No, no, Harper Lee is alive and well - sorry if my post was confusing. As to the merry searchers - well, it's quite simple really - I see a log of all searches and while most searches are pretty obvious, some are so specifically about specific things that it is very clear who the merry searchers are. Isn't that merry? More than that I cannot say other than to say that everyone everywhere is welcome to search to their heart's content. Because at the end of the day, who gives a flying Wallenda about any of it? We are simply here to have a good time, we are a happy family and that is all there is to that. Or, as Miss Peggy Lee sang:
Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friend
Then let's keep dancing the Hora
Let's break out the cheese slices and ham chunks
And have a ball
If that's all
there is.
Posted by bk @ 07/11/2002 05:52 PM PST

I just did a search elsewhere, and Harper Lee is indeed still with us. She protects her privacy, however, in her hometown of Monroeville, Alabama.
In an illustrated version of To Kill a Mockingbird, issued in Moscow, she was wrongly said to have "not seen her fiftieth birthday." Well, her prose will be forever young.
Posted by S. Woody White @ 07/11/2002 05:59 PM PST

I hope this is not blaspheme, but I went to Los Angeles once as a kid, and I LOVED Pacific Ocean Park and talked of going back to "P.O.P." for years afterward. I remember riding the skyride as it went over the water and seeing all the lights on the pier. I didn't know it had repalced that hallowed spot. Alas, even P.O.P. is now gone.
Posted by Kerry @ 07/11/2002 06:09 PM PST

Hardly blasphemous - I, too, loved Pacific Ocean Park, even though it usurped something else I loved. Funnily, I was just writing about it this very minute.
Posted by bk @ 07/11/2002 06:16 PM PST

To Ron P:
You said: Anybody else here ever drink bear?
What kind of bear? Is it:Black, Grizzly, Kodiack, Polar, Panda, Malayan Sun, Brown, Sloth, or Speckled.
What does a bear taste like?
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 07/11/2002 07:12 PM PST

I have never seen Sushi, so, it is likely that no one has ever seen me with Sushi, although I could have passed Sushi—I am not sure what gender pronoun to use—without knowing. Also, I have never seen Jimmy Hoffa, except in newspaper photographs, but then again I have never been to Giants Stadium for a look. Also, I have never met Dame Edna—although I very much would like tomeet her—but I did once meet her greedy, terrible, ill-tempered, impossible manager, Mister Barry Humphries.
Some of you may have seen me with someone mentioned somewhere on today’s notes page, a figurative piece of cake to anyone who can figure it out, which is highly unlikely, even though it might be of fleeting anecdotal interest. There is a picture that is proof.
Posted by freedunit @ 07/11/2002 07:35 PM PST

Robert Armin: Funny, if you search for my name you will discover that I am the author of several major works on Christian theology. Yet I have no memory of writing them. [doo-doo doo-doo, doo-doo doo-doo...]
And Bruce's middle name, as we all should know is Stewart, hence his nickname "B.S.".
Posted by William F. Orr @ 07/11/2002 07:35 PM PST

Oh, how wonderful to hear all this speculation about my close personal friendship with such wonderful people as Mr. Guy Haines San, Dame Edna Everage San, and Mr. James Hoffa San. Unfortunately, I have never met nor appeared heretofor with any of the above aforementioned individuals.
I do, however, find it strange that Mr. Guy Haines San and and Mrs. Amelia Erhardt San never seem to appear together.
Also, my dear, dear Bruce Kimmel San never seems to be able to account for his whereabouts during the meetings between Mr. Woodward San, Mr. Bernstein San, and Mr/s. Deep Throat San. Isn't that curious?
Mysteriously yours,
Your Sushi
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 07/11/2002 08:21 PM PST

I remember it well, that favorite ride of mine. I have no idea what it was called, but it was basically a big circular thing in which everyone stood up and was strapped to the side and spun around and went up and down. Now doesn't that sound horrifying? It was delightful.
Posted by Lolita @ 07/11/2002 08:23 PM PST

Craig asked what Bear tastes like.
I have no idea, but William wrote that he had friends who "drank bear and ate hot dogs" at a fair or carnival. I couldn't resist the "fun" of the typo....
GADZOOKS!
EGAD!
I was firing off a snappy retort to someone on another list and used, for the first time in my life, the word "fershluganah."
Oy!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 07/11/2002 08:33 PM PST

Oops!
And Oy!
It was Michael I was responding to, not Craig.
Sorry, Michael! Sorry, Craig!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 07/11/2002 08:35 PM PST

Tee hee. The above was a little joke. I do not want to offend my dear dear Bruce Kimmel San.
As far as amusement park rides are concerned, I really do not enjoy putting myself in a fear-inducing situation. I have had enough fear in my life already, than you. As a child I used to fear knife-weilding youths in the not-very-good neighborhood of Kyoto where I was raised. As an adult, I live in constant fear of someday giving a bad performance.
I like the Carousel. I like the painted horses and the other animals. I like that someone put a lot of care and attention, not to mention artistic talent and one's very soul into carving and painting them. Yes, I love the Carousel. The big, beautiful, hand-made ones with splashy colors that say, "This world can be lovely."
You also call it a Merry-Go-Round. Yes. That is a nice name.
Your Sushi
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 07/11/2002 08:46 PM PST

One more final question, and I will be through.
Which of all you Hainseases and Kimlios and Merry Searchers has ever been photographed in public with Michael Gough San, the Singing Janitor? Hmmm?
There is food for thought,
From
Your Sushi
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 07/11/2002 08:49 PM PST

Im so happy we are now at 50 posts.. I can finally go to bed with a smile. Maybe when I wake up after the westcoasters (as opposed to the easttrivets) have posted, we will shoot past 60... wouldn't that make BK happy.. wouldn't that just be too too, or even four four?
Posted by Craig @ 07/11/2002 10:02 PM PST

Perhaps Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto should look up the song "Carousel" by Jacque Brel. It might stir in her a response that would make her look forward to her next roller coaster ride, simply for it's comparative elegance and repose.
Posted by S. Woody White @ 07/11/2002 11:49 PM PST

To Ron:
I must apologize to you. I must have missed that post and saw yours first. Of course I should have know you knew the difference between a beer and a bear. It's sorta like Oprah Uma
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 07/12/2002 03:24 AM PST

OK I am very late. I don't really like fun fair rides unless they are gentle like Pirates of the Caribbean or the like. I am a whimp. I made the mistake of going on the Space Mountain ride at Disneyland. I thought my life was near its end. My two younger brothers (I didn't meet them until I was in my fifties (go figure) also have an aversion to rides - particular ones that go round and round and round and round and round. None of us likes Tomato either - and we were certainly brought up worlds apart -spooky.
Posted by Tom Guest (from OZ) @ 07/12/2002 03:30 AM PST

Well, I would say that technically the song "Carousel" was by Mark Blau, although he used the music of Brel's "La Valse à mille temps".
However, in this case, I believe Blau's lyric is actually superior to the original.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 07/12/2002 03:39 AM PST

...and it is Eric Blau who contributed the English lyrics for Brel's VALSE A MILLE TEMPS; or as he has been called, Mr. Elly Stone. ;-)
Posted by td @ 07/12/2002 06:55 AM PST

were are the photo
Posted by amy parker @ 01/10/2003 09:13 AM PST

Ask BK: Got a question? Ask Bruce Kimmel...

© Copyright 2001-2003 Bruce Kimmel.
All Rights Reserved. Site design by hijinks design.