haines his way

08/06/2002:
"THE SOUND OF MOWING"

Well, dear readers, it is Tuesday. I know this because the Loud Mowers have arrived and awakened me out of a sound sleep. Frankly, I like a quiet sleep with no sound, and yet there I was, sound asleep until the sound of mowing. I then began to sing that great Rodgers and Hammerstein song, The Sound of Mowing:
My sleep is alive
With the sound of mowing…
Last night I dreamed I was at Manderley.
In my dream I was at home. Living across the street from me was Warren Beatty. I was at home, trying to sleep, but he came over and tried to leave something for me by the front door. I got up to see what it was, and it was some political thing which all the neighbors were asked to sign and then pass on. Then Warren’s houseguest, actor/director Tony Bill, came over to use the phone. He used the phone for about three hours. Then all of a sudden Harold Ramis came over. We were all sitting in the living room chatting about something or other, and I was telling Warren we had mutual friends. I then said that the person I’d really like to see is Susan Dey, that I hadn’t seen her in years. I asked everyone if they’d seen her. Harold Ramis said, “Well, yes, I saw her this morning, and I saw her an hour ago.” I looked at Harold Ramis curiously and replied, “Are you two married?” He chuckled and said yes, they were. I said I’d been going to all the Partridge Family reunions in the hopes of seeing her, but all I ever saw was Danny Bonaduce. Susan then arrived and we had a grand time catching up. Then, curiously, I heard the sound of mowing and I woke up. Wasn’t that a marvelous dream? I know why one component of the dream was on my mind (this will become apparent when I reveal the answer to the trivia contest) but where this other stuff came from I have no idea (I mean, Tony Bill??? Harold Ramis???).
Last night, prior to Manderley, I played poker with seven other people. First we ate dinner at Casa Vega where, as usual, I stuffed myself to the gills, whatever the hell that means. Then we all drove to some far-off land west of the Pecos and east of the sun. All I know is there were streets with names like Prairie Rd. and Cactus Ln. and Stallion Street and Bell Canyon. We drove up windy roads and in certain residences along the way I saw actual horses in people’s actual yards. Poker was fun, and I was the big winner for the night, pocketing winnings of ten count them ten dollars. Our stakes were our usual – quarter, half-dollar, dollar, but there were no big losers, so that was nice. Occasionally someone can drop forty or sixty dollars at one of these games, but the luck went around the table pretty evenly, and I think the most anyone lost was seventeen count them seventeen dollars.
They are still out there, mowing merrily, just like the Stephen Sondheim song:
See the pretty grass
Glistening in the morning dew
Merrily they mow the grass
Mow the grass
It’s very loud…
Well, perhaps we should all click on the Unseemly Button below whilst singing the great Schmidt and Jones song, Soon They’re Gonna Mow:
Soon they’re gonna mow
And I’ll hear it,
Soon they’re gonna mow
Really loud…

Our brand spanking new radio show is up, with Mr. Ron Pulliam’s favorite show tune choices, and I have read nary a word about it. Yes, Virginia, I have read nary a word so let’s remedy that situation, shall we?
We had many many many (that is three manys) correct answers to the Unseemly Trivia Contest – I knew it wasn’t that difficult, but I surely didn’t think it was as easy as it apparently was. The question was:
In the late fifties a then major playwright who was coming off two huge hits, wrote a then notoriously huge flop. This huge flop starred a young adult who was about to go onto major motion picture stardom, and in fact the motion picture which helped put that young adult on that journey was also written by this playwright. Also in the play were two other interesting cast members – one would go on to appear with the young adult some years later in one of the young adult’s most famous movies, a true motion picture classic. The other cast member was a very well-known performer who had appeared in a classic Broadway musical (doing a classic number) and who was not known for being a straight play performer.
Name the flop play.
Name the cast member who appeared alongside the motion picture star in the true motion picture classic.
Name the very well-known performer who’d appeared in a classic Broadway musical.
Unseemly Clue: This flop play was, a few years later, turned into an equally unsuccessful film, which used a different and more provocative and blatant title.
And the answers are:
The flop play: A Loss of Roses by William Inge, which starred Warren Beatty, who would shortly thereafter begin his rise to stardom by appearing in the film Splendor in the Grass, also written by Mr. Inge.
The cast member who appeared alongside Mr. Beatty: Michael J. Pollard, who would also appear with Mr. Beatty in Bonnie and Clyde.
The very well-known performer who’d appeared in a classic Broadway musical (doing a classic number): Carol Haney, The Pajama Game – Steam Heat.
The answer to the clue is The Stripper, a Fox film with Joanne Woodward.
Congratulations to all our High Winners: td, Arnold M. Brockman, Michael Shayne, William E. Lurie, Ron Pulliam, Dennis Clancy, Mark Rothman, William F. Orr, JMK, Steve Gurey, Stuart and the errant and truant Freedunit. We put all those names into our handy-dandy Electronic Hat and said hat randomly chose our Highest Winner, Mr. Dennis Clancy. If he would send us his handy-dandy address we shall be sending him a sparkling prize.
And yet, on they mow. Perhaps we should sing that great Irving Berlin song:
There’s no business like mow business
Like no business I know.
When your grass is long they start in mowing
This they do while you are sleeping sound.
They don’t stop, they simply keep on going
Then they start blowing the leaves around.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do – I have meetings to attend, I have places to go and people to see, I have things to eat, phone calls to make – in short, I must hit the road Jack, but I’ll be back. Today’s topic of discussion: I enjoyed our little trip down computer nostalgia lane, so let’s continue in that mode – What was the first stereo you owned all by yourself – it doesn’t matter who bought it, but it has to be one that was personally yours. I’ll start: I’ve told this story before, but my first record player was a Columbia House Stereophonic Record Player that I got by joining the Columbia Record Club in 1960. Up to then, all my recordings were played on the Hi-Fi machine in the den. The Hi-Fi machine was, of course, just that – Hi-Fi, not stereo. So hearing stereo sound in my own bedroom for the first time was absolutely thrilling – even on that cheap Columbia House Stereophonic Record Player. Your turn.

Replies: 43 Unseemly Comments

You better mow...you're messing up my lawn!
I said mow...you're tearing it apart!
Please mow! Ow! My sleep...I'm wakin', wakin' up over you...
Posted by Jason @ 08/06/2002 09:26 AM PST

Got my mansion, got my lawn,
Like to wake up real slow,
But the lawn men must carry on--
They want mow!
Posted by William F. Orr @ 08/06/2002 09:37 AM PST

We're your Lawn Boys, Bruce...
We'll make you cranky...
We're your Lawn Boys, Bruce...
We're always there...
We're your Lawn Boys...
We'll interrupt your sleeping!
And all you have to do is sleep and Kimmel...
We'll be there!!
Posted by Jason @ 08/06/2002 09:47 AM PST

Got my stooges, you can see:
Larry and Curly Joe!
Two is not enough for me.
I want Moe!
Posted by William F. Orr @ 08/06/2002 10:32 AM PST

Rake the leaves!
Mow the grass!
We're a pain in Bruce Kimmel's ass...
Eight A.M., time to weed...
Honey, everything's waking up Kimmel from his deep, sweet sleep!
Posted by Jason @ 08/06/2002 10:40 AM PST

First of all, let's have some "first stereo" stories immediately. Second, I think we'd all better don our pointy party hats, put on our colored tights and pantaloons and break out the cheese slices and ham chunks, because it has come to my attention that we have a birthday to celebrate. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, we have a birthday to celebrate and by gum and by golly we are going to celebrate it until the cows come home. Our very own td is celebrating his very own birthday today. Let us sing a song of sixpence - let us sing a song of birthdays - let us sing happy.
Put another candle on your birthday cake
And when you do a wish I'll make
Put another candle on your birthday cake
You're another year old today
That was the official Sheriff John Birthday Song.
Posted by bk @ 08/06/2002 10:50 AM PST

My first, all-my-own stereo was this compact dealy I had in high school that sat neatly on the dresser in my bedroom. I don't remember the make or the quality. The first stereo I was proud to own was a Pioneer quadraphonic number I bought when I lived in Japan, at the time when quadraphonic sound was still novel and popular. I put the four speakers in the four corners of my one-room, six-tatami (9'x12') Japanese apartment. The sound was phenomenal, but it was overkill in my small apartment.
Posted by Susan Gordon @ 08/06/2002 11:17 AM PST

My first stereo was an Emerson single cassette player with a turntable. Yes, I'm old enough to remember LPs. My first cassette was Janet Jackson's "Control." I received both on Christmas morn. It was a dream come true. :-)
Posted by Jason @ 08/06/2002 11:24 AM PST

First stereo story - let's see, the late 60's, I was 13 or so, and Lafayette Radio & Electronics was still in business (for the uninitiated among you - picture The Wiz, but with only one store selling house brand items only). Didn't have a lot to spend - about $50 or so. LRE had a sale on a compact stereo - small BSR turntable with a cheap 10W amp and plastic cased speakers. But I could afford it, and in short order was able to begin appreciating the Carole King, James Taylor and Simon & Garfunkel LP's I owned (and had till then had played on my parents stereo).
A side story here - was playing some JT one night when my Dad came up to my room. He stands at the doorway for a moment, and asks "How can you listen to that s***? Why don't you listen to something good like Frank Sinatra or Tony Bennett?".
Fast forward to the mid 80's. My younger brother is a sophmore at Rutgers and I went down for a weekend visit. Got to his suite where Metallica was blaring from their living room. Later on, I asked him "How can you listen to this s***? Why don't you listen to something good like James Taylor, Carole King or Frank Sinatra????"
DEJA VU!!!!!
Posted by Phil @ 08/06/2002 11:25 AM PST

My first stereo was my HS graduation present from my father. Considering himself something of an audiophile (and an expert on everything else, but we won't go there), he made sure it was as top-of-the line as appropriate for a 17 year old. Funny, I can't remember what make it was, but it was sort of sleek and sexy, yet, clunky, as befitting those 1981 "high-tech" days. What I do recall is that they were components, and they all slid snugly on tracks into a very fancy cabinet, with space for records (yes, I said records) under them and a glass door with a metal catch. It was a pain in the ass to move to and from all those dorm rooms, but it was impressive. When I bought that album that would no longer fit in the rack, I remember thinking, like Gooch, "What do I do now?" Appropriately enough the OC album of MAME was the first record I bought with my own money, many years earlier. My parents should have figured it out then. The OC of INTO THE WOODS was the last 12" vinyl recording I bought. Or was it ROMANCE, ROMANCE? All I know is that there were CDs of both, but I did not yet own a CD player. I'm slow on the uptake of those sorts of things. I still don't have a cell phone either.
Posted by Stuart @ 08/06/2002 11:42 AM PST

Another Leo-ian at HHW! A very Happy Birthday to you, td!
Posted by Susan Gordon @ 08/06/2002 11:45 AM PST

It is also my beautiful wife Betsy's birthday today. Though she is not mentioning her "new" age until after the passing of her precise birth moment, much later tonight.
My first stereo was a Sears Silvertone, which I got for my birthday in probably 1968. I remember buying a 45 of Hey Jude b/w Revolution, and my mother forbade me to play Revolution when she was in the house. She then enrolled in the Columbia Record Club, inundating me with extremely lovely albums (irony) by John Davidson, John Gary, and, in a rare display of taste, Percy Faith.
My fondest memory of an early record player, though, was the ancient record player in the TOP of the first tv set I remember my family having. I don't remember the brand name, but this tv was huge (with a tiny screen), on big metal legs, in a blonde wooden cabinet. I remember standing on a chair and opening the top and putting old 78s on. I specifically remember the Edward R. Murrow I Can Hear it Now set, with the live radio broadcast of the Hindenburg disaster. The really interesting thing I remember is that on the 78s you could use your fingernail (oy!) on the record and you would hear sound emanating from your finger. How I discovered this has faded from my memory, perhaps for the best.
Posted by JMK @ 08/06/2002 11:56 AM PST

Happy Birthday, td!
And a belated Happy Birthday, Susan Gordon San!
I had no idea you lived in Japan. Small world, isn't it? We must get together and schmooze when I am in the United States next year filming Butterfly's Revenge.
Your Sushi
Posted by Sushi Tomoto from Kyoto @ 08/06/2002 11:58 AM PST

I've suddenly realized that I have never bought a stereo of my own. My father, tech-guy that he is, kept us well supplied with stereo equipment, and my sister and I regularly got the hand-me-downs. My ever-lovin' der Brucer, tech-guy that he is as well, has always been in charge of the hardware in the house. Nope, I've never bought the household stereo in my life (and that's quite a while, since I'm yet another Leo, hitting the big four-nine in a scant eleven days)!
I have always believed in the stereo equipment of strangers.
Posted by S. Woody White @ 08/06/2002 12:04 PM PST

Happy Birthday, td!!
JMK: My family had something very similar to your all-in-one TV unit. Ours was just a very large stereo console with a receiver and turntable (not even a cassette player!) but it was huge and I can still remember the way it smelled. My grandparents have one quite similar to the one we had and believe it or not, it still works!!
Posted by Jason @ 08/06/2002 12:08 PM PST

Susan, Sushi beat me to the punch. I was going to ask if you had ever seen any of Sushi's movies while you were living in Japan? She's quite good. Sort of a Japanese Giulietta Massina.
Posted by Robert Armin @ 08/06/2002 12:14 PM PST

Obscure Brand-name alert: my first stereo purchased with my own money was made by Candle, and I bought it (with money earned from my paper route) at Consumer's Distributing (which only Canadians of a certain age will even remember...) It was a combination turntable, cassette player and radio, and it got a lot of use during my early teen years. My earliest vinyl purchases - which ran the gamut from KISS to Barry Manilow - all were initiated on that stereo, and it was from the cheap speakers of that unit that I heard the news that John Lennon had been shot. So many memories...
Posted by Dave @ 08/06/2002 01:09 PM PST

Sushi-san, domo arigato gozaimasu! Kondo, America ni irrasharu to zehi o-aimasho, ne!
Posted by Susan Gordon @ 08/06/2002 01:55 PM PST

I was thinking exactly the same thing!
Posted by Robert Armin @ 08/06/2002 01:58 PM PST

You know, I was just about to say that.
Posted by Jason @ 08/06/2002 01:59 PM PST

S. Woody White: May I be the first to wish you (an early) Happy Birthday! From one Leo to another, it's a great month to have a birthday.
Posted by Susan Gordon @ 08/06/2002 02:09 PM PST

:-)
Posted by Susan Gordon @ 08/06/2002 02:11 PM PST

'-)
Posted by Robert Armin @ 08/06/2002 02:42 PM PST

Ah, Miss Sushi-San: Mushie, mushie to you! This is also a certain Mr David Campbell-san's birthday, and since he is turning twenty-nine, so am I; and of course that means I never had a record player (cough-cough) as I have only experienced compact discs.
Miss Sushi-san, maybe we can get together sometime and dance a hura; you know, that Japanese version of the Hawaiian folk dance - except that it's done with bonsai trees instead of grass skirts...
Today I watched THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS on dvd, and I am now ready to return to Middle Earth for a second viewing.
Posted by td @ 08/06/2002 02:58 PM PST

A very merry birthday to all who are celebrating today!
Many many many more to come!!!
[coprighted lyrics being mentally hummed and sent your way]
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/06/2002 03:11 PM PST

Happy birthday, td and Betsy!!
I don't recall having ever purchased a stereo system. My husband had one when we married. Of course, the turntable was broken shortly after the baby boy learned how to walk.
I did have to buy a CD player a few years ago, after Dear Reader Sandra first saw Forever Plaid in a community theater. We were able to find the cast recording; however, they didn't seem to have made it on cassette, so I bought the CD and had to buy a CD player to go with it.
Posted by Laura @ 08/06/2002 03:40 PM PST

Oh -- and I am NEVER awakened by the sound of mowing. I wish I was. I'm the one who does the mowing.
Posted by Laura @ 08/06/2002 03:41 PM PST

A very happy birthday to all the fellow Leos out there!
A very hearty thanks for all the well wishes from everyone here!
And, we even got a couple of new birthday tunes out of the day!
Posted by td @ 08/06/2002 03:49 PM PST

I blush to inform you that my first stereo purchase was NOT an LP player but an 8-track stereo cassette player!!!!
Yep! That's right! 8-track!
Within a few months, a friend wanted a new stereo LP and sold me his for $25. It was one of those Stereo units that had detachable speakers on the side, and a turntable that folded up into a carrying unit. I even jury-rigged my 8-track so I could play it through my speakers.
My first "serious" stereo unit I bought at age 24. I was in Vicenza, Italy, as one of two sailors assigned to an Army post to work in the Armed Forces Radio station there. I bought a Pioneer SX-626 receiver, a Pioneer PL-50A turntable, and a pair of Coral speakers (150 Watts per speaker). I still have the receiver and turntable (in storage). That was a bee-yoo-tee-full system and I miss the warmth of it to this day. The speakers are gone -- stolen in a burglary.
I now have an all-Sony stereo system (except for a Pioneer CD burner), including a Mini-Disc player/recorder, DVD player, LD player, 200-CD carousel, a 5.1CH/DTS receiver and surround-sound speakers.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/06/2002 04:06 PM PST

My very first stereo was a Christmas present in 1959. All I remember was the fact it was a Sears brand and cost $38. The sound was TERRIBLE. I tried to act enthused to my parents but they could tell it wasn't what I really wanted. We took it back and the guy who waited on me told me I was a punk (me? good little Catholic boy) kid trying to rip them off. I have never purchased anything at Sears since then. However, my dad came to the rescue and got the $38 back. A couple months later my eye saw an RCA portable and we bought that. It was the type that looked like a suitcase, the speaker was the cover of the case. I had that for about 10 years. I was about 25 when I gave it up or it just gave up. I remember playing "The Music Man", my very first cast album on it. I have a nice cd sound system and its great. But nothing will ever quite replace the thrill of that first stereo.
Posted by Dennis Clancy @ 08/06/2002 04:58 PM PST

TD, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Even though it’s late (in NYC anyway). S. Woody Don’t worry about 49. I hit it on Ground Hog Day this year and it didn’t hit back. I’m wondering about next year when the big 50 comes out. If I hide on my birthday and don’t see my shadow maybe it won’t happen.
I had my own first stereo in college. It was a hand me down from one of my older sisters. Not a great piece of equipment but it worked so I was happy. My dorm room rocked to things like No Strings and Celebration and Coco and Applause and West Side Story. What I didn’t own I checked out of the library (they actually had a great collection of cast recordings) and taped. I was so different from my other dorm mates. They watched football and I watched Mary Tyler Moore. They listened to KQ 92 Rock On!!! I listened to Prairie Home Companion on public radio. Hmmm. Maybe that’s why we never talked much. Oh, well. I’m much happier I think.
I now have to go away and come up with at least one good question for Mr. BK for tomorrow’s Ask BK Day.
bye
Posted by Ben @ 08/06/2002 07:04 PM PST

The first family record player (the one I used to play "Annie Get Your Gun" and "South Pacific" on was a little RCA Victor thing that we got with S&H Greenstamps (you heard right).
My first very own that I didn't have to share with my brother and I could play all my own music on was probably not even a stereo, but it was new, and it was mine. I got it when I was around 14. It was probaly a Realistic (Radio Shack's brand) or whatever was J.C. Penney's store brand. I didn't care what it was as long as it played Fred Astaire and Glenn Miller and Judy Garland and Paul Whiteman and the soundtracks to "Good News,""Words and Music," and "Singin' In the Rain."
Posted by Kerry @ 08/06/2002 07:04 PM PST

S&H Greenstamps....isn't that what the Brady girls got a TV with. You remember...the boys wanted a canoe and the girls wanted a sewing machine, but the girls won the house of cards contest, so they got to use the stamps. We all thought they were going to be selfish and get the sewing machine, but in the end they brought home a TV for the whole family to enjoy. I mean, they HAD to...it was the Brady thing to do!
I already have a peach of a question for BK for tomorrow. I'm excited. I just hope I don't forget it in the meantime.
Posted by Jason @ 08/06/2002 07:29 PM PST

TOM FROM OZ: I keep wanting to ask you this, but I keep forgetting...
Do you have the recording of Only Heaven Knows with David Campbell? I've seen it one time here in NYC and I went back to get it and it was gone. Is it worth listening to?
Posted by Jason @ 08/06/2002 07:30 PM PST

Happy birthday, TD.
My first stereo was a Philips Music Centre - basically, a turntable with a cassette player and an AM/FM/LW radio built in - which my parents gave me for Christmas when I was 11. Before that, I had a Grundig mono cassette recorder, which I got when I was 8 or so. My first CD player was an 18th birthday gift from my aunt and my grandmother (it's still going strong somewhere in my mother's house, though the music centre is now defunct).
Posted by Stephen Farrow (who's going to be 30 real soon... well, in 3 months and 3 days) @ 08/06/2002 11:01 PM PST

Happy Birthday TD. sorry it's late.
My first record player - stereogram (IE not radiogram) was purchased as a result of saving from my after school job as a delivery boy for the local chemist (drugstore!!). I think the brand was KREISLER. The first two records to be purchased were Johnny Mathis singing "Chances Are" and The Crickets with "Oh Boy". First album in the house was I think the soundtrack of "Carousel". this was to be followed by record club purchases of Ray Conniff, Marty Robbins and Johnny Mathis greatest hits. I rarely play Conniff meets Butterfield but Mathis and Robbins' "Gunfighter Ballads ..: still hit the turntable (or the Cd player with their replacements)
Posted by Tom from OZ @ 08/06/2002 11:38 PM PST

My first stereo of my own was a gift from my parents and my sister. In my senior year of high school (1984) I went to the state FBLA conference in Spokane (I live in Olympia, WA) over my birthday weekend. When I got back, in my room was a JC Penny (or maybe a Montgomery Ward) stereo unit with a radio and dual cassette w/a cover that folded flat and was real cool. The recording cassette (tape 2) recorded at a slower speed than normal so when I played (in any other player) a tape that I had recorded, it played a bit faster than normal. My parents kept the stereo unit after I moved out on my own and they finally got rid of it about two years ago.
Posted by George @ 08/06/2002 11:39 PM PST

Other possible songs that Bruce might sing to drown out the lawnmowers:
"This is the Mow-ment",
"Lawn Ago and Far Away"
or
"Lawn Before I Knew You",
"I Don't Care Mulch"
...or pretty much anything from A GRASS ACT.
Any other suggestions?
Posted by Dave @ 08/07/2002 08:46 AM PST

How about
"Suddenly, Sprinklers" or "Any Place I Mow My Grass Is Home?"
Posted by Jason @ 08/07/2002 08:55 AM PST

I think I would rather
"It Might as Well be Sprinklers"
or
"Suddenly Sey-Mow"
Better still,
"Weed Do Not Belong Together"
Posted by Dave @ 08/07/2002 09:01 AM PST

"Weeds Go Together," "Into the Weeds," "Another Hundred Pollen"
Posted by Jason @ 08/07/2002 09:07 AM PST

Groaning is considered unseemly at HHW so I will just sigh deeply at the above referenced punsters ;-)
Posted by Ben @ 08/07/2002 09:43 AM PST

Jason. Email me re David Campbell Cd. Could be good news!
Question time for BK. What are your favourite Noel Coward songs? Have you discovered any more songs by Novello since viewing Gosford Park? Any favourites there?
Posted by Tom from OZ @ 08/07/2002 11:27 PM PST

Ask BK: Got a question? Ask Bruce Kimmel...

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