haines his way

08/10/2002:
"LIKE A HAMSTER IN HEAT"

Well, dear readers, I think that today I shall buy new sheets. What do you think of that? I have been thinking about which day to buy new sheets on and this seems like a perfect “buy new sheets” day (BNS, in Internet lingo) to me. I feel that one should buy new sheets once every three years, because you start to get tired of looking at the same old sheets after three years. I was looking at my sheets and thinking, “I am tired of looking at the same old sheets after three years.” And so, I shall buy new ones and I will be the envy of one and all and also all and one, sheet-wise. People will come from near and far and also far and near to look at my sheets and I shall be the toast of the town. Have you ever been the toast of the town? Did people try to butter you up? Did you get down and jam? What the hell am I talking about? Don’t I have new sheets to buy?
Last night I attended a birthday dinner for my friend Barbara Wechter, who is married to my friend David Wechter, who is the son of my friend Cissy Wechter, who is the mother of my friend Jerry Wechter. It was quite fun, and we ate lots and lots of barbecued foodstuffs, such as ribs, tri-tip, chicken, salad, beans, and potatoes. Then we had ice cream cake for dessert. Tonight I shall be attending another birthday celebration, this one for my next door neighbor’s wife. I don’t really know them all that well, but I thought it’s a nice neighborly gesture to go, and besides, if I get bored I can leave and be home in four seconds.
I must hurry along because soon the cleaning lady will be here to cast her evil eye on me, should I have the temerity to overstay my welcome. She will then clean my house, and then she will go to my friend Grant Geissman’s house, because she’s going to start working there, too, based on my recommendation. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Have I told you about The Mystery of The Garage Door? Yesterday, when I left the house in the morning, I went outside, opened the side door to the garage and went to press the button to open the garage door. That is when I noticed that the garage door was open (eerie music begins). Yes, Virginia, the garage door was wide open. I immediately looked around and nothing seemed to be missing. Now, the thing is, I am quite senile, and I have taken to checking to make certain that I have indeed closed the garage door at night. I actually go out there at midnight and look, every night. And it was most certainly closed the night before. So, how did it get open if it was closed? My theories are: Mice. Someone has a garage-door opener on a similar frequency as mine. Elijah stopped by and since there was no matzoh or bitter herbs he opened the garage door to show his displeasure. Someone was messing with my mind. Aren’t those fine theories? If you have any others, please post them today. I double and triple checked, and nothing was missing at all.
Well, I have sheets to buy, so why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below so I can finish these here fershluganah notes and be off to sheetland.

Donald will be running an Encore radio show tomorrow, so here’s your chance to catch up with a show you may have missed. He’ll be posting which one it is very soon.
Well, today is our handy-dandy Unseemly Trivia Contest and I have quickly cobbled together (QCT, in Internet lingo) a trivia contest question, so without further delay, here it is:
This hit musical was adapted from a hit movie. This hit musical had a movie star in its lead. This hit musical also featured two performers who would subsequently appear in major television series. This hit musical had in its ensemble someone who would go on to win a Tony Award. The road tour of this hit musical featured someone who would have their name popularized on a television series. Finally, someone on the creative team of this hit musical would go on to become one of the first people to start the resurgence of cabaret entertainment.
Name the musical
Name the two performers who would go on to appear in major television series, and the names of those series.
Name the ensemble member who would win a Tony.
Name the road tour performer who would have their name popularized on a television series.
Name the member of the creative team.
Remember, DO NOT POST YOUR ANSWERS TO THE SITE. You may e-mail them to me at bruce@haineshisway.com, or by simply using the Ask BK Button located on our home page. Good luck to one and all and also all and one.
Have I mentioned that I think today is a fine day to buy new sheets? Luckily, I just happen to have a Stroud’s and a Bed, Bath and Beyond mere blocks from my home environment. Well, I must take the day, I must buy the sheets, I must do the things I do, I must scurry about like a hamster in heat, I must… “Like a hamster in heat”??? I tell you, dear readers, there are times when I think I should be removed to the same asylum where Johanna resides. Once there, she and I can sing Green Finch and Linnet Bird over and over until the cows come home. We shall sing that song like hamsters in heat, I tell you. I'm sad to say I just heard of the passing of that wonderfully talented music man, Mr. Peter Matz. In honor of him, let us take out our early Barbra Streisand albums and play some of his glorious arrangements. I shall return tomorrow like a hamster in heat. Today’s topic of discussion: We haven’t done this in a while – what CDs are currently in your CD player, and what DVDs or tapes are in your DVD or tape player? I’ll start – in my CD player, the soundtracks to City of Lost Children and Signs, the newly-remastered OBC of South Pacific, the Gemma Craven recording of South Pacific, and the soundtrack to Bronislau Kaper’s The Prodigal. Your turn.

Replies: 43 Unseemly Comments

BK-
If you are in the market for fine sheets I would recommend WAMSUTTA. In my non-retired life I worked for this fine company and as a matter of fact was Merchandise Manager for Sheets(I was the SHEET HEAD).At any rate,may your bed be emblazened with color and panache and may you have sweet dreams ever after.
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 08/10/2002 09:04 AM PST

Maybe Charlton Heston came by last night and opened your garage door (yes, politically incorrect, but plausible nonetheless).
I have always loved Peter Matz's orchestrations for "Hallelujah, Baby!", which I still feel is one of Styne/Comden & Green's most woefully underrated scores.
Posted by JMK @ 08/10/2002 09:14 AM PST

There's song there somewhere... "Green Sheets and Linen Birds" but I'm not quite awake enugh to "go there"... maybe later.
Posted by Matthew @ 08/10/2002 09:39 AM PST

okay...we have a winner for the encore Broadway Radio Show....it's (drum roll, please)....the infamous Tammy Minoff Kids on Broadway epic interview!!!
It will be up tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks to everyone who voted!
Posted by Donald @ 08/10/2002 10:02 AM PST

This is what I have currently playing:
DVD: The Simpson's Second Season and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (director's version)
CD: Lee Lessack (I Know You By Heart)
& Follies (Original Broadway) The Complete Show
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 08/10/2002 10:19 AM PST

In my cd player right now:
JANIS IAN: Stars, Janis Ian 2, Miracle Row, Night Rains, Restless Eyes.
Original Soundtracks: FINIAN'S RAINBOW, AT LONG LAST LOVE, JACQUES BREL IS ALIVE...., THE FIRST NUDIE MUSICAL, ZERO PATIENCE (for reasons which I will make clearer soon, I promise).
Bruce Springsteen: THE RISING, Live Concert at Madison Square Garden.
JENNIFER WARNES - Shot through the Heart
Nancy LaMott - Listen to my Heart.
BROADWAY CAST - Thoroughly Modern Millie.
in the dvd player:
LORD OF THE RINGS
WONDERFUL LIFE
THE YOUNG ONES
SUMMER HOLIDAY (Thank you, Bruce!)
Posted by td @ 08/10/2002 10:22 AM PST

In our CD player at this very minute is the BK-produced Judy Kaye CD. Dear Reader Kerry and I have begun a CD exchange, so we have been able to listen to many new things. Thanks, Kerry.
The VCR, however, is in Silicon Heaven, Richard Simmons having done irreparable damage during his takeover.
Tomorrow morning, Sandra and I are going to get Dear Reader Megan and bring her home to live with us. There will be much partying and giggling. Pray for me.
Posted by Laura @ 08/10/2002 10:46 AM PST

In my CD player:
Barry Manilow: Even Now
Olivia Newton-John: Magic (The Greatest Hits)
Original Off-Broadway Cast: The Last Five Years
Original London Cast Recording: Hey, Mr. Producer! (Disc One)
Rosemary Clooney: The 12 Most Requested Songs
In my VCR:
"Waiting for Guffman"
Posted by Jason @ 08/10/2002 11:17 AM PST

In my CD Player: THE FIRST NUDIE MUSICAL Soundtrack
In my DVD: THE FIRST NUDIE MUSICAL
In my VCR; Joan Crawford & Fred Astaire in DANCING LADY recorded from Turner Classic Movies
And now --- I can't wait until Ask BK Day. What is tri-tip?
Posted by William, E. Lurie @ 08/10/2002 11:31 AM PST

Jason,
Rosemary Clooney: good
choice !! Her voice ALWAYS
moved me.
I don't have a VCR so....
In CD player:
Remastered original cast
recording of FINIAN'S
RAINBOW.
Remastered soundtrack of
SOUTH PACIFIC.
Broadway Recording of
THOROUGHLY MODERN
MILLIE : thrilling.
London Cast recording of ANN
OF GREEN GABLES : if you
feel low and down, listen to
that glorious and happy music.
Polly James is a joy.
A JOY, I tell you !
Posted by François @ 08/10/2002 11:37 AM PST

What is suitable punishment for a roommate who doesn't buy toilet paper after he's used the last roll? I'm thinking eviction is an OK choice, but then again, I hate him and his ass-face, so eviction is always an option. You would think his girlfriend would have taught him better...or at least his mother! If any of my fellow New Yorkers knows of someone who'll be needing a new roommate at the beginning of March, somewhere between the ages of 23 and 36, please let me know. I'll be looking.
Posted by Jason @ 08/10/2002 12:06 PM PST

Hi Bruce! We never really get to chat, do we? I have been meaning to tell you this, but it would seem that Mr. Mark Bakalor has devised a mechanism that when your readers click the unseemly button, it is the same as clicking the remote on the garage door. So, while you are out, and sometimes sleeping - if someone comes here and clicks that unseemly button, up and down I go. By the way (BTW) thanks for the new battery, I feel so fresh and alive again!
Posted by BK's Garage Door @ 08/10/2002 12:36 PM PST

Jason,
Have him listen to Patti
Lupone singing Anything Goes
for 12 hours in a row !
Posted by François @ 08/10/2002 02:02 PM PST

Sniffle...
Hack....
Snort....
We've given you comfort with every fiber of our being for THREE YEARS.
And now you are ready to cast us off?
Sheet day?
Sheet day?
You never had sheet day for us!
No cake!
No pointed party hats!
No brightly colored tights and pantaloons!
Sure! Party hearty!
Why not use us to clean up the mess when you're done!
Boo-hoo!
Posted by BK's Old Sheet @ 08/10/2002 02:21 PM PST

There, there, old sheets. No reason to become unraveled. 'Twill be a brighter tomorrow, somewhere, somehow.
Posted by A Comforter @ 08/10/2002 02:29 PM PST

Bruce,
It's getting scary in here !
Your own belongings are
starting to take over this site !!
Who said THINGS could not
have feelings !!!!!!!!!
Posted by François @ 08/10/2002 02:33 PM PST

There, there, Francois.
All will be well. BK's "things" are simply under an enchantment spell...sort of like the staff of the Beast's castle in La Belle et Le Bete!
(If I got my Le's and La's wrong, I apologize...it has been 32 years since my last French class).
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/10/2002 02:37 PM PST

I am going to come right out and say that I am not a huge fan of Charlton Heston now that he is out of movies and into political movements.
That said, I am a bit suspicious about his speech of yesterday. While I think Alzheimer's is truly one of the saddest things to afflict anyone, I have this image in mind that has Heston becoming even more extreme -- holding press conferences and calling for Draconian excesses in government. I see people clucking their tongues, shaking their heads about how devastating this illness is, and then saying, "Hmmmmm....he DOES have a point, though!"
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/10/2002 02:41 PM PST

Oops. I hit the post button too quickly.
Anyway, this would be the ideal ploy -- folks would excuse him because of his illness, but the "idea" then takes hold because they believe he's making it without a personal agenda -- and then we're on the road to St. Charlton!
All those who must, Bitch-slap me now....
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/10/2002 02:42 PM PST

I just finished watching "Pleasantville." Now, I really didn't expect to like this movie, but I actually ended up getting a bit emotional at the end. What a great flick! And Joan Allen...wow! I've loved her in everything I've ever seen her in. I wish she'd come back to Broadway.
Posted by Jason @ 08/10/2002 02:49 PM PST

BK Can you clarify something about the trivia question today please (or anyone)
The road tour of this hit musical featured someone who would have their name popularized on a television series. Does this mean that the performer was on the tv series or they just used the performer's name in vain/vein?
Posted by Inquiring Minds Want to Know @ 08/10/2002 03:08 PM PST

I'm happy to clarify, to the best of my ability - the road performer did not appear in the television series which used their name, nor was it necessarily used in the way you might think.
As to my sheets - I'm afraid that in the last two months, the were indeed beginning to unravel at the fitted corners. I hate when the fitted corners unravel because then they no longer fit and when they no longer fit then they are not fit to be on the bed. I will have a full report on the brand spanking new sheets in tomorrow's notes.
Posted by bk @ 08/10/2002 03:44 PM PST

Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even used
now I get abused
Unexpectedly.
Not a little change
Im a little scared
Didn't think he'd dared
Brucie has new sheets
Posted by Bruce's old enchanted sheets @ 08/10/2002 04:01 PM PST

Alzheimer's ?
I thought it was Parkinson's
where Heston is concerned.....
He should be prevented from
speaking publicly, I think....
Why can't he be cast as The
Beast in a new prod of Beauty
?
Posted by François @ 08/10/2002 04:28 PM PST

The sheets are alive
And it's pretty scary......
Posted by François @ 08/10/2002 04:29 PM PST

Question for New Yorkers:
My sister-in-law is taking her daughters (12 and 15) into the city next Sunday for the matinee of 42nd Street (I would have recommended Hairspray, but nobody asked).
They want to go in a bit early and do something in the city. A museum or something, she said. Anyone have a suggestion for something close to the theatre?
The older girl is doing the sets this fall for her high school's production of Mame. (!)
The younger one is obsessed with Anne of Green Gables, the books, the movies. So thank you, François for a suggestion for the perfect gift for her--Footlight has the Canadian cast, and I am ordering it.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 08/10/2002 04:31 PM PST

Boy, William, why is that
recording SO expensive ?
Is it a two cd set ?
Posted by François @ 08/10/2002 04:39 PM PST

Everything is expensive at Footlight. I only buy there when I can't find it elsewhere cheaper.
But I do know that François ordered from Footlight, and his order was shipped on May 22 (two days after Liza Dolittle Day). I'm psychic.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 08/10/2002 04:53 PM PST

Gee, now everybody knows: )
Well, yes, I mainly order the
Ben Begley titles there, and, in
a matter of weeks, they've
raised the prices by 1 buck !!!!!
Can't order from the official
Painted Smiles site; they don't
take credit card and don't
seem to ship out of the States.
This is heinous, you hear me
? Heinous !
meanwhile... the sheets are
still alive.... Could they be
music sheets ?
With Bruce, they have to be ?
Posted by François @ 08/10/2002 05:00 PM PST

May I recommend
cdconnection ?
They are serviciable and
affordable and adorable and
approachable and quite able
too, without mentioning
affable....
I'm stopping that babble !
Posted by François @ 08/10/2002 05:03 PM PST

I'm livid.
LIVID, do you hear?
Ooh!
Okay...it's passed.
How is everyone's Saturday going?
Getting things accomplished?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/10/2002 05:50 PM PST

What?
Did everyone think that was a trick?
I'm not livid...and I sincerely wonder how folks' Saturday went!
: )
The intense heat that has afflicted the San Francisco Bay Area the past several days is in the process of lifting...a nice offshore breeze is blowing and making things a lot more tolerable.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/10/2002 07:07 PM PST

Oy! I have steaks and ribs to attend to, so I'm logging off for now.
Everyone have a safe Saturday evening! I may peek back in later.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/10/2002 07:35 PM PST

"Sextette" is on TV right now. I haven't seen it since it came out. I 'd forgotten how bad it was. It definitely belongs on yesterday's list. I think Mae West was great (at one time), but what were they thinking with this? What was SHE thinking? Its main appeal at the time was ccamp, but it goes so far beyond anything that I could even imagine was intended>
I'll discuss the official topic in a bit, but just had to mention this. Anyone else ever see this film? From 1975 or so? It's incredible... incredibly bad. OY!
Posted by Kerry @ 08/10/2002 07:44 PM PST

But Kerry! You're missing the Lawrence Welk Songs of Inspiration show on PBS!
Posted by Laura @ 08/10/2002 08:10 PM PST

In the car and at home, the CD's are:
"Out At The Movies" (thank you Bruce)
"Miss Gulch Returns" (thankyou Michael)
"Brazil"--Rosemary Clooney and John Pizzarelli
"Disco Divas"
"Assassins" (OBC) I'm REALLY trying to give this another chance
"Joe Versus the Volcano" (soundtrack) (again, thankyou Bruce)
DVD's/videos:
First Nudie Musical (I haven't had the chance to finish the audio commentary)
Naked Space
Garbo Talks
Posted by Kerry @ 08/10/2002 10:56 PM PST

Late, yes, but here are my
"most recent"s...
CD's:
Haines His Way (haven't been
able to stop singing "She
Likes Basketball" in a week!!!)
Nick & Nora
A Little Night Music...in Jazz
Sweeney Todd...in Jazz
Company...in Jazz
The Fantasticks...in Jazz
DVD's:
Das Boot
Waiting for Guffman
VCR:
some old Quantum Leap
episodes I have around
Posted by Jed @ 08/10/2002 11:17 PM PST

Mr. William F. Orr: You may want to suggest Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum on 42nd Street. It's directly across the street from where 42nd Street is playing. Tickets are a bit pricey ($22 for adults and I believe $17 for kids) but everyone says it's just fabulous.
Posted by Jason @ 08/10/2002 11:21 PM PST

Not that anyone cares, but my steaks and ribs turned out beautifully! I had a wonderful dinner, followed by two DVD movies.
First, I thoroughly enjoyed "K-Pax." I don't know if there's much of anything Kevin Spacey couldn't be convincing portraying. I bet he'd make a better tomato than Dustin Hoffman could ever have dreamed of.
And Jeff Bridges is one of the finest actors of his generation -- woefully underappreciated, IMO. I think he deserved an Oscar for "Starman," I think he "earned" it for "Fearless," but someone else's name got called.
Next up was "White Christmas" -- folks, you've gotta get this DVD if for no other reason than the late Rosemary Clooney's terrific and pricelessly funny commentary! I think the film holds up well, and Clooney's commentary gives it an extra sparkle for the DVD experience!
Well, most of the Hainsies and Kimlets seem to be off doing other things. I'm guessing BK has laundered his new sheets and made up his bed. Hope they're not scratchy!! ;)
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/10/2002 11:50 PM PST

Last Cd played was The Best Of Jerry Vale (yes really). Along side it is "Unsung Irving Berlin" which I played yesterday. DVD. I watched "While You Were Sleeping" last night. Why did I bother? (It was free).Nearly bought "Waiting For Guffman" today. Should I bother. Jason. Still waiting for a contact and and answer to that. Would a 56 year old enjoy Guffman? Am hoping my Don Cherry Cd arrives tomorrow (Monday). Does anyone out there remember him?
Posted by Tom Guest @ 08/11/2002 12:47 AM PST

This is the forty-first unseemly comment. We now have a thread-count of forty-one.
Posted by A Comforter @ 08/11/2002 12:59 AM PST

Good morning, all. 6:16 and getting ready for the weekly shopping before the stores get mobbed.
In the VCR was this week's Farscape, but then we time-shifted Castle Freak last night--although we ended up staying up till 1:00 to watch it anyway. Why? you might well ask. Well, I kinda sorta knew the director Stuart Gordon when we were both at the University of Wisconsin and his theatre troop did the infamous naked Peter Pan with André DeShields as Princess Tiger Lily. (Would I kid you?)
In the CD player is still Lisa Richard Virgin Tracks, and I can't get Bruce Kimmel's "Waiting for Love" out of my head. Bruce, has anyone else recorded this? I have the strange feeling I've known this melody for a while.
Ron Pulliam: But could Kevin do an endive salad that knocked the critics on their @$$?
Jason: Thanks for the suggestion.
François: Ditto.
Mr. Bruce Kimmel: You've made your bed, and now you have to lie in it. Denn wie mann sich bettet, so liegt mann.
Okay, off to Stop 'n Shop. (And my wonderful Italian bakers for--caaaake.)
Posted by William F. Orr @ 08/11/2002 03:29 AM PST

RON: I hope you're reading this, because, I, too, believe that Jeff Bridges is a national treasure! I still believe that THE FISHER KING is HIS movie, not Robin Williams', and despite some very restrained bits, not a typical Terry Gilliam film, either.
Posted by td @ 08/11/2002 06:59 AM PST

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