haines his way

08/16/2002:
"THE FAMILY UNIT"

Well, dear readers, the facts are coming to light. We are now knowing the truth about The Errant and the Truant, some of whom are returning to by loyal Hainsies/Kimlets once again, thereby avoiding mass bitch-slapping by the skin of their collective errant and truant teeth. Here at haineshisway.com we get flustered if anything disturbs our close-knit family unit. We have a family unit here at haineshisway.com and when one or two of the unit goes missing we become a un, we are less complete as a unit. We simply must not abbreviate the unit, dear readers, because unit is such a short and stupid word as it is. So, let’s all post until the cows come home so we can once again be the most popular site on all the Internet.
Hairspray, with our very own Kerry Butler, has opened to rave reviews and should be playing until the cows come home. I shall be seeing it, hopefully sometime in October. Congratulations to the entire cast and creative team.
Last night I went to the Director’s Guild of America for a screening of Michael Apted’s 21 and 28 UP documentaries. I’ve not seen any of these before, and I missed the first two in the series, which were shown the other night, with Mr. Apted in attendance. For those who don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, Mr. Apted has been filming the same people since they were seven years of age – he does a new one of these every seven years. Luckily, even though I missed 7 and 14, they recap them very nicely throughout each of the ensuing chapters. It is fascinating, funny, touching, and in some cases brutal to watch these kids growing up. They are from various classes of society, and it’s a real microcosm of attitudes and personalities, all English, of course. I really want to go back tonight to see 35 and 42, but I’d already made plans. Hopefully, this entire series will find its way to DVD very soon.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Have I mentioned that it is important not to abbreviate the family unit?
Today I will be doing a Very Important Thing that will finally put closure to something I’ve wanted closed, and that is a good thing, dear readers. And then tonight I will be supping with Miss Cissy Wechter, eating delicious Orange Chicken at Yang Chow in Woodland Hills, and discussing our upcoming New York version of the Tourette’s Syndrome benefit. I’m just starting to make lists of performers, and I’m very excited about doing this in New York.
Well, why don’t we, as a family unit, click on the Unseemly Button below whilst singing a chorus of We Are Family or even better, Together, Wherever We Go.

I must say, it’s another overcast day here in Los Angeles, which I find a pleasant relief from the relentless heat of the past few days. That said, yesterday’s overcast day quickly gave way to brilliant sunshine and hot heat. Frankly, I’m ready for some cold heat myself. Don’t forget that tomorrow is our Unseemly Trivia Contest and also Donald should be along to tell us what his brand spanking new unseemly radio show’s theme is – whatever it is, it will be going up some time on Sunday, so be sure to tune in.
Well, Friday is always a day for short notes, following the endless Thursday notes (I suspect many of the errant and truant missed yesterday’s notes, so get yourselves over to the Unseemly Archive Button and read them now – I answered so many questions yesterday, and if I feel no one is interested in reading the answers then it’s not going to be worth the effort of doing Ask BK Day anymore – hence the reason I asked that particular question. For now, we’ll keep it going).
Our handy-dandy stat page did it again, didn’t count one day – that’s better than last month when it didn’t count three days, but still, that coupled with the low traffic of this week has taken away the amazing lead we had at the beginning of the month. I thought this month would handily trounce all others, given that first week’s stats. We were up over a hundred visits a day and the page view stats were up quite a bit, too. It has now evened itself out. We must not allow it to drop further – we must pull together and get these averages up, because we must be better than average, we must be the best of the best, the cream of the crop, the top of the heap – so, start spreadin’ the news, we are coming back and there will be no stopping us because we, we are family, and we are a family unit and we shall sit by the campfire and roast our wieners and marshmallows and we shall sing Michael, Row the Boat Ashore. What the hell am I talking about?
Well, dear readers, I must go do a Very Important Thing now, and I must also take the day, in fact I must carpe diem the day, I must get in my automobile and motor around the city and wave at the passersby as they pass by, I must do the things I do, I must be popular with the populace. Let’s all do our best to make this weekend the busiest we’ve had in ages here at haineshisway.com. That will show the stat page, won’t it? Today’s topic of discussion: Fads have come, fads have gone – what is the kookiest, craziest, ginchiest, grooviest fad you’ve either taken part in or viewed from afar? I’ll start: The Limbo was one of my favorites and I feel it is poised for a comeback. Pet Rocks always amused me from afar, but I never had one. I did, however, do the Twist and I was quite proficient at it. Your turn.

Replies: 30 Unseemly Comments

I asked this on yesterday's post, but I'll ask it here, just in case no one reads the other one today: What is a checkboard chick?
Posted by Jason @ 08/16/2002 09:05 AM PST

Jason - a checkerboard chick refers to Penny's interracial relationship.
BK...
Even though I did not ask any questions
Even though I got in last night from my business trip to which I had no internet access
Even though I wore my party hat and pantaloons in celebration of my nephews birthday
Even though I was up until the cows came home working on getting all of Kerry's reviews together
Even though you THINK I have been errant and truant
Even though you failed to mention it in today's notes
Even though all of the above has made me a tired chap today, you will no doubt realize that if you go to the Unseemly Interview Section, you can indeed find Mr. John Treacy Egan's interview....
"I Haz Spoken!"
-Craig, who runs the risk of getting majorly bitchslapped by his new employer for posting this during the day...
Posted by Craig @ 08/16/2002 09:13 AM PST

How about bell bottom pants when they first hit the scene in the late 60's? Still have my first pair (if only they still fit) - pale orange with a red stitched pinstripe. Thought they were THE thing to start Jr HS in - OOPS!
Took them out of storage to show them to my 10 year old son - his remark? "Dad - that's nasty!"
Posted by Phil @ 08/16/2002 09:34 AM PST

Hello everyone! Just wanted to take a minute to let you all know that there will be a new radio show up on Sunday....this week we will listen to a couple of new theatre related CD releases that I think you may find interesting (I know that I did). I won't tell you what they are, but I will say that they are NOT cast recordings.
Posted by Donald @ 08/16/2002 10:15 AM PST

So, we're digging into our souls to confess things that now make us cringe ever so slightly. Well, I'll admit to a couple of things, some of them not so embarrassing. I did the Limbo when I was a sprig of a twig of a lad and was pretty darn good at it. I also had a Hula Hoop (none of those shoop shoop hula hoops with marbles inside for me) and did it at the waist, the neck and the arm. Later in my older life, I admit to wearing a Nehru Jacket with a medallion (they were "in" for about 10 minutes in the overall frame of time) and in college, I also had a Leisure Suit. OMG, thanks be that, as far as I know, no pictures were ever taken of me in that flame retardant thing.
Jason: Welcome back from your stint as Tour Guide. Even though you're relatively new to the city, I'm sure you portrayed us in the best of all possible lights!
Posted by Ben @ 08/16/2002 10:20 AM PST

Craig: Thank you.
Ben: Thank you.
Posted by Jason @ 08/16/2002 10:24 AM PST

I'm here, I'm here. In fact, I've
been here all along, just
joined the unseemly ranks of
the lurkers the last couple
days. But I shall try to be a
good Hainsie/Kimlet and lurk
no more, for I understand that,
in order to make this the most
popular site on the internet, it
will require hard work,
cooperation, diligence,
photography, sound, and
color.
Posted by Jed @ 08/16/2002 12:44 PM PST

Well now, I wasn't exactly errant and truant, as I said when I was going and where. We're all home safe and sound.
I've never been one to follow (or fit in with) the crowd, so I can't even think of a fad that I followed.
Laura
Posted by Laura @ 08/16/2002 02:23 PM PST

I cannot honestly say that I have ever been swept up by a fad. Either I have caught the wave too soon, gotten bored and paddled back to shore, only to turn around to see everyone having a great time surfing the wave which I already considered so been there done that, or I have caught the wave too late, by which time it was so spent that I still had to use a lot of energy to paddle back to shore, wondering what all the fuss was about.
The one exception was when Balsamic Vinegar became trendy. I thought it was marvelous stuff, still do. However, my ever-lovin der Brucer didn't care one whit for the stuff, and made sure I knew it. That bottle went to the back of the cupboard, and gathers dust there to this day.
Posted by S. Woody White @ 08/16/2002 02:55 PM PST

Fondu parties in the late sixties/early seventies - good grief.
I think Australia gave the hula hopp craze to the world. Should we be proud?
Dances: Twist, cha cha cha, hucklebuck, Limbo, Bossa Nova and one that that created a #1 pop hit here for Bill Justis, The Tamoure. Body piercing I have let pass me by. So do with Davy Crocket hats and crewcuts.
Have a good weekend everyone.
Posted by Tom from OZ @ 08/16/2002 03:22 PM PST

OK folks.. I didn't want to have to do this.. but I think I must. While I have been away and unable to post.. I have been back a few times today to see such a teensy weensy itty bitty teeny tiny number of posts. In case you didn't know.. I am the official "Bitchslapper" and I am afraid if all the errant and truant people don't get the number of posts today over 40, I am gonna have "a lotta slappin' to do". Let's have a post MARATHON!!! If you want to post about fads great, and if not, post about anything at all. We don't bite (we just bitchslap the errant and truant). There are no dumb posts, and no dumb posters. Yes, my hainesies tis of thee, sweet posters of liberty - I don't ask what this board can do for you..but what you can do for this board. I have a dream, that all posters post today... For it's one small post for me, one GIANT post for all mankind. We hold these truths to be self evident, that ALL posters are created equal. Be all you can be! Aim High! Send in the posters!
thank you and g-d bless us everyone...
Posted by Craig @ 08/16/2002 03:33 PM PST

Hi everybody! I'm happy to finally have a chance to finally post and see the website for myself. My Aunt Laura sent me columns and songs and whatnot from the site. I will be staying with her for a few days, so hopefully I will get a chance to get to know everyone. Tata!
Posted by Megan @ 08/16/2002 03:34 PM PST

YAY... it's dear reader Megan!
Welcome... we must all celebrate Megan's arrival... I'm off to get cheese slices.. who's got the ham chunks???
Posted by Craig @ 08/16/2002 03:36 PM PST

After reading Dear Reader Craig's post, all I can say is -
John, John, is that you carrying on?
Sit down, John,
Sit down, John,
For God's sake John sit down.
Welcome Megan, we are THRILLED to have you here and you must post and post until the cows come home. You must put on your pointy party hat and colored tights and pantaloons (Sandra's can be plaid, of course) and eat plenty of ham chunks and cheese slices.
As to the errant and truant, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink, whatever the hell that means.
Posted by bk @ 08/16/2002 03:42 PM PST

And BK, your John reference reminds me of this:
And all you have to do
Is move your little finger
Move your little finger and-
(click)
You can change the world
Why should you be blue
When you've your little finger
Prove how just a little finger
Can change the world.
Type away...
Posted by Craig @ 08/16/2002 03:48 PM PST

Megan. Welcome from Australia as well. Much happiness and health to you.
Have a great weekend (It's Saturday here). You too Laura.
Keep up the posting Kimlets. The threat of Craig doing anything at all is probably enough to get those keyboards humming. Who knows? Guy might even add a thought for a change.
Posted by Tom Guest @ 08/16/2002 04:02 PM PST

Errant I was. I forgot to welcome Hapgood back the other day.
Would you believe I am listening to the "New Christy Minstrals" this morning. Random selection form the CD cupboard. Had a phone call this morning from a guy wanting to know if I could get him a copy of Nancy and Lee singing "Did You Ever". I of course had to reply "All The Time"!
I'm doing my best and I usually only post once. (I do do some things twice - for the right people)
Posted by Tom Guest (from OZ) @ 08/16/2002 04:07 PM PST

Well, I could never really wear whatever clothes were in (at least at the time they were in). I don't think bell bottoms really count, because that was more the style of most pants rather than a singular sensation. Platform shoes MIGHT qualify as fad. And yes, I had a few pairs.
I did have a hula hoop as a kid. Later I won a Shoop- Shoop Hula Hoop at a kiddie Saturday matinee. I dnaced the Twist, I danced the Limbo (if you can call that dancing), and I danced the Hustle (which is STILL a lot of fun).
I had a nehru shirt in 1968, but no jacket. Surfer jams. Do those count? I wanted a Beatle haircut, but my parents wouldn't let me. I did have a great pair of fringed suede knee-high mocassins just like Peter Tork and Mickey Dolenz had though.
Oh, yes one more. Apache ties. Remember?
How low can you go, indeed!
Posted by Kerry @ 08/16/2002 04:57 PM PST

By all means, Welcome Megan! I look forward to meeting you. Now we just have to come up with an alternative to Oreo Cake!
Posted by Kerry @ 08/16/2002 04:58 PM PST

Craig,
It's been so long since anyone even talked about bitch-slapping that I just may want you to!
Posted by Kerry @ 08/16/2002 04:59 PM PST

well we are halfway there... still an uphill climb - but I know we can do it!
SO.. here's a topic that I was just thinking about. I was listening to one of my favorite male theater performers, Mr. Anthony Warlow and I have decided that he gives a flawless performance with every song and every cd, even one that he sings live on. My poser for everyone is, if someone hits every song dead on every time you hear them, does that "ruin" seeing them perform in concert when there seems little chance for spontaneous vibratos (you have to type that word carefully I just found out) etc..
Does anyone even get what I am asking????
Posted by Craig @ 08/16/2002 05:22 PM PST

Interesting topic Craig.
I saw Dionne Warwick once and she was "perfect". I could have been home listening to my records. There was NO LIFE IN HER ART. Having seen Mr Warlow in three of his stage productions I can assure you he does not disappoint in any way. Make that 4 productions. I forgot Secret Garden (which was a delight. He was not a great Phantom but his voice was amazing. He was a great Don Quixote. I did not see his Henry Higgins but I heard excellent reports.
Kerry. What are "surfer jams"? We need photos on this site. Maybe a rogues gallery. Maybe photos before and after being bitch slapped.
I have the tune of "Laura" running through my head this morning. How lovely Laura to know that such a beautiful melody no doubt has you as its inspiration.
I only get "Tell Tommy I Miss Him" and "Tom Tom Turnaround". Tommy Steele did start off one of his London shows with Tommy Tommy Tommy (as in Company's Bobby Bobby Bobby). I suppose I should be thankful that I don't go around singing "Big Bad Bruce"
Posted by Tom from OZ @ 08/16/2002 05:54 PM PST

As already posted, to me Mr
Warlow is the CREME DE LA
CREME !
Thank you for all the nice
comments about him !
Tom, you're a lucky guy; only
saw him on those clips on the
web.
One of Australia's national
wonders, I tell you....
Jason,
do you have THE MAIN EVENT,
cd and/or dvd ? A must !
Olivia, John Farnham, and
Anthony Warlow.......
Posted by François @ 08/16/2002 06:36 PM PST

Liza always sounds perfect in concert. Of course that's because she pre-records her vocals since she can't sing and dance at the same time.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 08/16/2002 07:34 PM PST

Megan-Wilkommen. (Did I spell that right?)
Tom-thank you for your kind welcome back.
As for fads: The only one in which I really participated (I am not generally ruled by fashions.) were Pogs. They were small cardboard discs which one tried to flip over using a small metal disc. They had various designs on them. The reason that I got involved with them was that I was given them as a birthday present many years ago by relatives from California. Since I felt some stake in this fad, I became an enthusiastic proponent. I now hang my head in shame remembering them.
I just saw the excellent movie The Graduate, taped from Bravo. It was really quite enjoyable, though better when funny than when serious. I much preferred sexy Anne Bancroft to evil Anne Bancroft. I shudder to think of what grievous violence Kathleen Turner is doing to the reputation of that movie, and that character on Broadway these days.
My father recently returned from a conference out of town at which he taught. Why is this news? I'll tell you why. They served many kinds of food at the conference, and one kind was........cheese chunks! Isn't that heretical! Isn't that just too too! Didn't the organizers of that conference know that HAM is in CHUNKS and CHEESE is in SLICES? It is really strange, and somewhat sad.
Posted by Hapgood @ 08/16/2002 07:37 PM PST

Doesn't DISCO count as a fad?
Oh, those endless nights to "push, push in the bush!"
"it's fun to stay at the >everybody now< Y - M - C - A!"
"it's the last dance, last chance for romance...tonight"
"MacArthur Park is melting in the rain, all the sweet green icing pouring down..."
"That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh."
"whether you're a lover, or whether you're a brother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.."
"enough is enough, is enough"
"But, I, I will survive, 'cos as long as I know how to love, I know, I'll be alive..."
"In the navy, you can sail the seven seas, in the navy, you can put your mind at ease."
"Macho, macho ma-an, I've got to be a macho man."
"Disco, disco duck..."
...and does no one remember The Divine Miss M's:
"Oh my knight
In black leather,
Won't you take me down,
Love me forever?"
(Please Lord, don't let me wake up tomorrow morning and want to go shopping for polyester suits in outrageous neon shades)
Posted by td @ 08/16/2002 08:30 PM PST

Well everybody, thank you very much for the warm welcome. I'm so excited to post here! Hope you all have a good night!
Posted by Megan @ 08/16/2002 10:09 PM PST

The only fad I've ever been a part of is my saddle shoes. Unfortunately, I'm a few decades late.
Posted by Sandra @ 08/16/2002 10:20 PM PST

I don't know if this really qualifies as a "fad," and it certainly was a long time after the initial introduction of the product, but I was in a show a few years ago and someone brought a Chia pet to the theatre greenroom for decoration. But not just any ol' Chia pet. No, it was a Chia head! A man's manly head with the Chia greenstuff as the hair! It was so funny! We'd made a whole ceremony of watering of it and kept track as it grew. After the show was over, no one wanted it, so I took it home. It (the green stuff) only lived a couple of weeks (I admit that I was negligent) and ended up throwing it away. But it was fun while it lasted (and really only during the show when it was a group effort).
Posted by George @ 08/16/2002 10:24 PM PST

Neither Sandra or Megan mentioned it, but I seem to remember that I bought an awful lot of Beanie Babies for the girls a few years ago.
Posted by Laura @ 08/16/2002 11:36 PM PST

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