haines his way

08/31/2002:
"LIKE A FESTERING COLD SORE IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER"

Well, dear readers, here we are on the last day of August and also on Labor Day weekend. August has been a very strange month, with some excellent days and some not so excellent and in fact quite blechhhy days, but we have survived and are here to tell the tale at the tail of August. August certainly was an interesting month here at haineshisway.com. It started off with a huge bang, then tapered off quickly. Most of our regulars were here regularly, but some were here only irregularly and some were completely missing in action. Well, we are apparently the Grand Hotel of the Internet – people come, people go. People check in, people check out. People come for a short visit, people try other hotels. Some people come only to search, hoping to find things which will do them no good and which they will never find. Some people come because they like the host, the good maid service (despite the evil eye), the always manicured but loudly mown lawns. Some people come for the singing bird. Some come to find romance, some come for the haute cuisine of cheese slices and ham chunks and various and sundried cakes, and some come because they know this is the last civilized yet irreverent place on all the Internet. The really loyal and true Hainsies/Kimlets stay and take up residence. Yes, we’re like Grand Hotel, people come, people go, but our door keeps revolving and we’re always here. What the hell am I talking about?
I do hope all the vacationing errant and truant will return to the fold Come September, starring Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee. September and October are two months when we must simply be together, no matter how busy we all are (and I can tell you I shall be very very very – that is three verys – busy Come September starring Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee). Even the lurkers out there in the dark must join our merry troupe and post their thoughts on whatever topics are being discussed. And, as I’ve said many times, it doesn’t matter if you don’t contribute to the topic at hand, you can start new topics or post about anything that’s on your mind. As dear reader, William E. Lurie said yesterday, some of our most interesting discussions have not revolved around the topic of the day. In fact, I may stop having regular topics of the day, and only have them occasionally. What do we all think of that idea?
The one thing we know that will be a constant Come September starring Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee, is that we will all have to click on the fershluganah Unseemly Button below. But that’s only because we’re like Grand Hotel – people come, people go, but the Unseemly Button is always here, like a festering cold sore in the middle of winter. My goodness, what a poetic image.

Has anyone noticed that we are like Grand Hotel – people come, people go, but we are always here, like a festering cold sore in the middle of winter. Now wait just a darn minute.
I knew I’d heard that line somewhere before. It’s a Meltz and Ernest song, and one of their best, in my opinion (IMO, in Internet lingo). Here it is for your edification, whatever the hell that is.
LIKE A FESTERING COLD SORE IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER
Music by Hinky Meltz Lyrics by Ernest Ernest
What is our love like
I’ll tell you true
What is our love like
Like a case of the flu
It’s
Like a festering cold sore in the middle of winter,
Like when gangrene sets in when you don’t attend to a splinter,
Like a scar on your face from that time someone smacked you
Like a sickening wound from the time a pit bull attacked you
That’s how much I love you, baby,
You’re like an open sore.
That’s how much I love you, baby,
And baby, there’s the door
Because you’re
Like a festering cold sore in the middle of winter,
You’re like having to sit through too many plays by Harold Pinter
Like a mouth that has teeth that are blackened and rotted
Like an arthritic hand that’s all gnarly and that’s all knotted
That’s how much I love you, baby,
You really kind of ooze
That’s how much I love you, baby
And baby, there’s your shoes
So use ‘em
Like a festering cold sore in the middle of winter
You’re annoying, you’re disgusting
And the sleep in your eye is crusting
That’s how much I love you, baby
Baby, not one whit.
So, use your shoes
And use the door
‘Cause baby, we’re done
And that’s it.
Isn’t that a wonderfully evocative song? In any case, today is our Unseemly Trivia Contest and here is today’s unseemly question.
In one long-ago theatrical season there was a hit play and this hit play had a rather amazing cast. The star of the show was also someone who had written plays and someone who would go on to win an Academy Award. The supporting cast featured a young fellow who would go on to star in one smash hit musical, one musical that wasn’t such a smash hit, and one smash hit play, as well as several motion pictures. The other co-star would go on to star in one of the most famous modern plays ever written, as well as several movies and a TV series. The cast also featured someone in a small role who would also appear in a small role in the film that won the star their Academy Award.
Name the hit play.
Name the star.
Name the two co-stars.
Name the actor in the small role who appeared with the star in the film that won the star the Academy Award.
Bonus and clue: That very same season, another up-and-coming star was appearing in a musical. That up-and-coming star would end up having a major connection to the hit play we’re discussing. Who was the star and what was the connection.
Well, that’s a long-winded question, isn’t it? That’s kind of the Grand Hotel of questions, isn’t it? Remember, DO NOT POST YOUR ANSWERS TO THE SITE. Send them to me at bruce@haineshisway.com or simply use the unseemly Ask BK Button located on our unseemly home page. Good luck to one and all and also all and one.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, which includes meeting our very own Donald Feltham for tea. Yes, Virginia, Mr. Donald Feltham and I will be meeting for tea – tea for he and me. Then I must do many other things, which I’ll tell you about when I return. In the meantime, let’s post until the cows come home and give the end of August a big old kick in the pants. Today’s topic of disussion – what is currently, right this very moment, in your CD player and in your video or DVD player? I’ll start: CD player – A weird but wonderful classical CD called Mavis in Las Vegas by the very strange but wonderful Peter Maxwell Davies – who did brilliant musical arrangements and orchestrations for Ken Russell’s film of The Boy Friend. DVD player: The Sopranos, Season Three. I’m addicted and am on show nine.
Your turn.

Replies: 31 Unseemly Comments

House CD player -- Steel Pier (Sandra needed to be bored to sleep last night)
Car CD player --one of the Forbidden Broadway ones -- the one with "SuperFranticHyperActiveSelfIndulgent Mandy" because the girls think it's so funny.
The New VCR -- Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?? Help, help, I'm being repressed!)
Can you guess who runs things at this house??
Posted by Laura @ 08/31/2002 10:38 AM PST

In my CD player: East-West Overtures, the East-West Players of Los Angeles doing Sondheim songs. ("Not a Day Goes By" is a real kicker.)
In my DVD player: The First Nudie Musical--still. Of course.
In my VCR: A blank tape to record Scary Movie and Scary Movie 2 tonight so my Joe and I can overdose on total tastelessness.
DONALD: I can't hook up to the Radio show, and this is the last day. I first tried, and Real Player One said I needed an updated version. So I, like a fool, downloaded it and installed it and rebooted. Now the radio show keeps saying "Connection to the server could not be established. You may be experiencing network problems."
The URL it gives is
http://www.hijinksdesign.com:554/HainesHisWay/BRS-Intro.rm
Posted by William F. Orr @ 08/31/2002 10:43 AM PST

In VW - "Now Is the Time" music for the millenium published by OCP publications
In Iszuz - I have no clue, my bro is driving the car
In DiscMan (used for early morning walks) a compilation by British composer Bernard J Taylor call "Child of the Earth" sung most magnificently by British vocalist, Claire Moore
In Computer - Disc 3 of the compilation "The Great Music of Andrew Lloyd Webber" some cheap thing from CDNOW, which actually quite good.
In DVD player - Vanilla Sky
Wow, that's a lot. Hope everyone is having a good weekend.
Posted by Matthew @ 08/31/2002 10:49 AM PST

Oh - I forgot, the most important CD player, the one near my bed... "The Carpenters" first album, "Ticket To Ride" which has THE very best song EVER called "Someday" on it. :)
Posted by Matthew @ 08/31/2002 10:51 AM PST

Now, Matthew, don't you think
Claire Moore is one hell of a
singer ?!? -- excuse my
French!
I didn't know that recording so
thanks for the info !
I have the "Celebrating Jerry
Herman" and "Celebrating
Jule Styne" and, boy, does she
sparkle !!!
A sort of a British Judy Kaye ,
IMO .......
Happy Labor Day to all !
"Our" Labor Day, here in
France, is the first of May, in
case anybody cares to know...
Claire, sing me "I'm The
Greatest Star" again, please...
Posted by François @ 08/31/2002 11:39 AM PST

Ron, please, stop all that
barbecueing and margaritas
drinking and POST !
Tom from OZ, will you do the
same please !
We NEED a little Xmas and
your imput !
Thanks, merci !
Posted by François @ 08/31/2002 11:51 AM PST

Funny you mention Mr Peter
Maxwell Davies, Bruce,
because I bought "A Talent To
Amuse" last night, a 1995
show with Mr Peter Greenwell
who also contributed
arrangements and
orchestrations to Ken
Russell's The Boy Friend....
Posted by François @ 08/31/2002 12:46 PM PST

In my CD Carousel -- "The Pajama Game" (remastered), "Damn Yankees," "The Main Event" and "110 in the Shade."
In my DVD player -- Nothing.
Francois -- I've moved on to daiquiris! Strawberry daiquiris!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/31/2002 01:20 PM PST

NEW DEAL FOR CHRISTMAS
WARBUCKS
I know the Depression's depressing
GRACE
The carols are stilled
The stored aren't filled
WARBUCKS
And the windows are minus the dressing
GRACE
The children don't grin
The Santa's are thin
GRACE AND WARBUCKS
And I've heard a terrible rumour
No goodwill no cheer
WARBUCKS
But we'll get a new deal for Christmas
This year
ANNIE AND ORPHANS
The snowflakes are frighting of falling
MOLLY
And oh, what a fix
No peppermint sticks!
WARBUCKS
And all through the land folks are bawling
GRACE
And filled with despair
'Cause cupboards are bare
WARBUCKS
But Santa's got brand new assistants
There's nothing to fear
They're bringing a new deal deal for Christmas
This year.
SERVANTS
Bong, bong, bong, bong
Bong, bong, bong, bong
ROOSEVELT
On Farley and Perkins
On Ikes and Wallace
On Monganthau and Cummings.
ALL
Fill our pockets with dollars
ROOSEVELT
On Roper and Swanson
ROOSEVELT AND WARBUCKS
Get along Cordell Hull
ORPHANS
Get along, giddy up!
MEN
Call your committee up
WOMEN
Build every city up
ALL
Cheer every kiddy up
Fill every stocking with laughter
We haven't got room for any more gloom
Let's ring every bell from it's rafter
WARBUCKS
And chime cross the land
ANNIE
Tomorrow's at hand
WARBUCKS
(spoken)
Those happy days that we were promised.
ROOSEVELT
Are finally here
ALL
We're getting a new deal for Christmas
We're getting a new deal for Christmas
We're getting a new deal for Christmas
We're getting a new deal for Christmas
Christmas
This year
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/31/2002 01:23 PM PST

DVD: The Princess Bride
VCR: Eddie Izzard - "Glorious"
CDs: Big River OBC
Gershwin CD including
"Rhapsody in Blue," "American
in Paris," and "Piano Concerto
in F" featuring Andre Previn
and the Pittsburgh Symphony
Orchestra
Assassins OCR
Company...in Jazz
Karrin Allyson - "Collage"
Posted by Jed @ 08/31/2002 01:26 PM PST

In my computer CD player is MEL & GEORGE "DO" WORLD WAR II. This is a live recording of a concert Mel Torme and George Shearing did in 1991. It's one of my favorites. I never seem to tire of it. You know, after Mel passed away, I read a quote by George that said they "breathed together." I think this recording bears that out.
I never saw Mel or George in person, but, after listening to this CD, I feel I have. Mel's "scatting" (something I don't particularly like much) is kept to a minimum and George's playing doesn't veer too far from the melody (another dislike). Nevertheless, I love the way George plays--kind of sprawling with an easy tempo, especially on "It Seems I've Heard That Song Before." Another song by George--"I Know Why and So Do You" by Harry Warren with beautiful lyrics by Mack Gordon--I never heard before. Since then, I've heard other versions and they're all performed up-tempo but George does it slowly and, to my mind, it's the way it should be done. Mel pairs two songs--"On the Swing Shift" and "The Five O'Clock Whistle"--together and really nails it. They both do a great version of Mercer's "Ac-cent-tchu-ate the Positive"--Mel's ad libs and George's counterpoint in perfect sync. Just an all-around great CD. In case you haven't guessed, I recommend it! Who am I anyway, Gary Giddins?
Posted by Donna - Cabaret West @ 08/31/2002 02:24 PM PST

Thanks, Donna !
I do have that cd too, and I like
-- and agree with -- what you
say about it.....
Another favorite of mine is Mel
with Cleo Laine: You're
Nothing Without Me !
You can tell those people
LOVE to sing...
Mel is surely missed.....
Posted by François @ 08/31/2002 03:02 PM PST

And.... HARRY WARREN !!
Such an underrated
composer!
Bruce you MUST produce an
album dedicated to that
wonderful composer....
Read what Michael Feinstein
says about him, if you want to
be deeply moved.....
Posted by François @ 08/31/2002 03:05 PM PST

CD: The new Decca Broadway operetta series.
DVD: M*A*S*H second season (although BK is in the first)
VHS: Blank tape to record THE ROYAL FAMILY tonight and CONTACT tomorrow.
Posted by Ray-Bill@nyc.rr.com @ 08/31/2002 03:11 PM PST

Oops... I put my e-mail address where my name should have gone!
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 08/31/2002 03:13 PM PST

In my CD player at the moment is a real gem. Some years ago the BBC here in England broadcast a whole series of musicals, which I taped at the time. A friend of mine now has a CD burner which can burn CDs from tapes, so I'm getting him to transfer all the musicals over. At the moment I'm playing 'Sweeney Todd' with Julia McKenzie and Dennis Quilley. He's also transferred 'Follies' with the same two and Donna McKechnie and 'A Little Night Music' with Betty Buckley - great stuff.
In the car I have 'First Impressions' and 'Bravo Giovanno' (just bought, not listened to properly yet) along with some old favourites - Scott Walker's 'Scott 3' which is sublime, and Faith Prince's 'A Leap of Faith' which is hilarious.
In The DVD player, I've just finished watching (again) 'More Tales from the City' which has great commentary from Armistead Maupin and Olympia Dukakis, amongst others. Oh, how I long to live in San Francisco whenever I see this!
Matthew and François, I have a real problem with Claire Moore - although she has a great singing voice, I find it difficult to listen to her without being really aware of her lisp. Is that too too horrible of me??
Posted by Allan @ 08/31/2002 04:02 PM PST

Allan, I know it -- the lisp --can
be distracting, but, for some
reason, it doesn't distract me
at all.
The woman has so much
sincerity and energy in her
voice that this little "handicap"
doesn't bother me....
Why does it sound "cute" for
men, and strange for women ?
BTW, what is Christopher
Gable up to this years ?
Posted by François @ 08/31/2002 04:29 PM PST

In my CD player at home: Guy Haines singing the songs from Benjamin Kritzer (thanks Bruce & Guy!)
In my CD player at work: the original London cast recording of ALW's THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. I'm performing in an AIDS benefit in a couple of weeks and one of the songs we're (hopefully) doing is "Prima Donna." HOWEVER, the only published version of the song is the solo version in the songbook. The director gave everyone that sheet music and (if necessary) a copy of the recording. He said, "try and learn your part from the recording." I'm singing Firmin and trying to pick out my part from the recording. Has anyone ever had to learn a song this way? Is it legal? (Does anyone have the complete parts??)
In my DVD player: I just (this morning) got the 2-DVD set, Special 30th Anniversary edition Schoolhouse Rock! It says it "includes every School House Rock song ever created." I love this!
Claire Moore is one of my absolute favorite vocalists, from anywhere. Even though they have different voice types, I've always thought of her as a British Liz Callaway.
Posted by George @ 08/31/2002 04:39 PM PST

Re: Claire Moore - yes, she has a great voice, but I was always a bit irritated by the way she seemed to excuse herself from even attempting an American accent in "Miss Saigon".
In my CD player right now - the Thompson Twins' "Into the Gap" (I seem to be on an 80s kick this weekend), to be followed by the OBC of "Hairspray".
Posted by Stephen Farrow @ 08/31/2002 06:12 PM PST

That's it !
But of course !
I KNOW now why I can't
appreciate Patti LuPone !!!
She has a great voice, but........
her nose is too big and her
South American accent in
EVITA was totally wrong !
I'm joking, I'm joking !
Boy, we do have quite a post
celebration here tonight at
Haineshisway !
Hey, Ron, fix me another
marguerite... I mean, another
margarita, please ! Thanks !
Ah, belle marguerite !
Ah, beautiful to see !
Hey, that Guetary had quite an
accent too !? And it was not
even French, dear boy ! Oh,
sorry, Ron, I didn't mean to call
you dear boy....
No, not French ! He was born
in Greece....
He had a great voice but.....
She has a great voice but....
They have a great voice but...
Gee, Ron, "your" margaritas
are STRONG....
They are great margaritas
but....
Would somebody shut me up
?
Thanks.
Posted by François...or is it Francis...or is it Francisco @ 08/31/2002 07:26 PM PST

Francois -- you're cut off. I've taken your keys. You'll either leave by taxi or you can have the guest room!
And no, I will not fix you another Margarita Cansino!
My weekend has taken a turn toward the domestic, I fear.
Last night, I shampooed the living room carpet. Tonight, I'm tackling the tiled entry hall and kitchen with scrub brushes for that "deep" cleaning effect.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 08/31/2002 07:59 PM PST

Jaime DeRoy and Friends Volume one and Two and John Barrowman solo album are in the CD player. In my DVD player was Hounds of the Baskerville with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee.
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 08/31/2002 08:16 PM PST

Boy, Ron, you're tough with
me, but how can you take my
keys since I don't have a car ?!
I just flew in, from the Windy
City , with an umbrella I
borrowed from Mary....
Cansino, Cansino ? You
mean Rita was here tonight ?
Hope I was not rude to her ??
Gee, put the blame on
Margarita if I was....
Please, Ron, can you fix me
one last one for my baby, and
one more for the road, I mean,
flight !
That's superfragi...,
supercaligraphi...,
supergrali....swell, like Mary
always says, with a stiff
upperlip accent !... or is Claire
Moore ? I don't think too claire,
euhr clear anymoore,
anymore....
Pardon my accent...
What a swell party this is,
indeed.....
Posted by François @ 08/31/2002 08:41 PM PST

I have a feeling that Tom from
OZ has not posted today
because he's had too many
Frozen Koalas at the party...
Yep, before leaving, he kept
telling me he was seeing
jumping kangoroos in the
garden !!
Kangoroos ! in California !
What kind of a zoo does he
think this is ?!?
Happy Lador Bay ! Labor day !
And more for Malheur
....Malher !
Posted by François @ 08/31/2002 09:59 PM PST

Boy, I'm drinking my words !!`
ONE more for Mahler.... for
those who are sober !
Make it an old-fashioned
please......
Well, Jason, there you are ?
How's Moby ?
Do you know if freedonut,
oops, freedunit is back from
his Las Vegas escapade ?
He promised a full refill, eurh
report !
Let's have a drink on it !
What will you have ? A Mickey
Mouse or a Shirley Temple ?
Posted by François @ 08/31/2002 10:13 PM PST

OK I am late. It is father's day here. And that is irrelevant. My DAD who brought me up has been gone for over a decade and my real dad is 95 and needs to be reminded of my name. (I did not meet him until abour a decade ago). I spoke to my real (birth Mum) today. She is no longer married to my dad but they do live close to each other. Why am I writing this? I think on this Father's day I am missing my adoptive mum who died last January. Just a strange day for me and I am among friends.
My DVD. Just rewatched "Best In Show". Watched "Amalie" last night.
CD player: Should I confess that Guy Mitchell, Pat Boone and Jo Stafford have been entertaining me? A nostalgic day for me AND for us here in Victoria, Australia, it is the first day of SPRING SPRING SPRING.
Francois - I shall try to give up on my addiction to cold Koalas. Can't give up on the Kangaroos - We use their hops to make beer.
Perhaps I should try drifting away to Jimmy Buffetville this afternoon (as my partner watches an endless game of football).
BK. We still probably need a topic to get us started. It does not really seem to matter if we have used the same topic before. We do have new readers and our responses are probably not consistent or constant or whatever word I am looking for here.
Posted by Tom Guest (from OZ) @ 08/31/2002 10:49 PM PST

About Donald's radio show...I also waited until today to listen to the assembled A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC. I also was not able to get a connection at all. I got the message "Could not connect to Server using HTTP". Has anyone else had a problem with the radio show? I'm not going to get my Donald - radio - Sondheim fix!
Posted by George @ 08/31/2002 11:28 PM PST

I'm here!! I'm here!! Did you miss me?? I was away at the Goodspeed Opera House today to see The Road to Hollywood and Babes In Arms. It was quite a good time, but an exhausting trip. I left my apartment this morning at 9:30 and it is now 2:45 in the morning and I'm beat.
What's in my players??
VCR: Chocolat
Discman: More ABBA Gold
CD Carousel: Hairspray, The Main Event (thanks, Tom), Mozart's Requiem and The Stephen Schwartz Album.
OK...I'm tired. I'm off to bed. Hope you guys are having FABULOUS weekends. See you tomorrow!
Posted by Jason @ 08/31/2002 11:44 PM PST

François, are you still there? After all those margueritas Ron has been administering, your head's probably down the toilet by now.
Where did Christopher Gable come into the equation? Sadly he died in 1998.
BTW, what happens on Labour (sorry, Labor) Day? Does everyone go into labour?
Posted by Allan @ 09/01/2002 12:48 AM PST

BTW (By the way in internet lingo), I haven't been able to get the link to work for the Radio Show for a couple of weeks. I missed the replay of the show with Tammy Minoff and the "Night Music" show. I haven't even tried the latest yet.
Back to happier topics before it's too late to post.
Car CD player: "Hairspray"
Other car CD player (because my car died on me this morning on my way to work--- definitel NOT the best way to start the day!): TFNM CD
CD player in the house: "Brazil" (Rosemary Clooney and John Pizzarelli) and Diana Krall's "The Look of Love"
DVD player: "Longtime Companion"
See all y'all later.
Posted by Kerry @ 09/01/2002 12:56 AM PST

CAR CD PLAYER-Jessica Molaskey's wonderful CD PENTIMENTO.My candidate for CD of The Year.
HOME CD PLAYER-Eva Cassiday's IMAGINE
HOME DVD PLAYER-YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 09/01/2002 09:12 AM PST

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