haines his way

10/02/2002:
"OUR WHINES HAVE TENDER GRIPES"

Well, dear readers, I am feeling rather dreadful at the moment – the soreness in the throat has given way to the scratchiness in the throat, and heaven knows what that will give way to. Hopefully not the itchiness of the throat because it is very difficult to scratch inside one’s very own throat. I have sucked down quite a few Coldeeze things as well as a ton of Ricolas. I have taken Actifed, and I took NyQuil last night. I am drinking lots of liquids. I have eaten a fershluganah cheese slice. I have had some Raisinettes. I have checked out portions of some new DVDs (about which more tomorrow). I went to bed early, too, so I am attempting to do the right things to rid myself of this horrid thing that is trying to enforce itself on my person. Despite the taking of the NyQuil, I slept a total of two hours because when I have a scratchy throat I cannot sleep. Has anyone noticed that I sound like I’m whining? I admit it freely. I am whining. There you have it. This is what I do when I am under rather than over the weather. Well, the one thing I know is that I’m keeping these notes short today, come hell or high or low water, because I simply cannot think straight when I feel like this, whine, whine, whine (that is three whines).
My goodness, that was a whiny paragraph. I have never heard so much mewling and whining in one paragraph. That paragraph sets a new record for mewling and whining, in my opinion (IMO, in Internet lingo).
I had a lovely conversation with one of the directorial candidates for Nudie Musical tonight. I’ve got to talk to others, but I liked what this person had to say.
Wait, I just wrote a paragraph without any whining, and that is wholly unacceptable on this day of whining. How dare I not whine in every single paragraph? That is just so outré of me, frankly or ever charlesly.
Oh, why don’t we all just click on that infernal Unseemly Button below so I can whine some more in the next section.

Yes, it’s an all new, all-talking, all-singing, all-dancing all-whining paragraph. I am consistent, you must admit that, at least. I have an interesting meeting today, which I must leave work for two hours to attend. Send me lots of good vibes at exactly three o’clock, Pacific Mean Time. We now continue our regularly scheduled whining.
Perhaps I’ll do some more whining whilst I’m dining. To whine while you dine is divine and perhaps even helps one feel fine. At least so said Robert Klein. Will you be mine if I whine? Will you pine if I whine? Will you be my Valentine if I whine, or visit the Rhine while I whine, or play What’s My Line while I whine? What the hell am I talking about?
Well, simply can’t write one more word. I – there, now I’ve gone and done it. I wrote one more word (I) and now the word floodgates are open and more words are pouring out of me, tumbling out of me willy-nilly and also nilly-willy. In any case, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must get in my automobile and go hither and thither and yon. Don’t forget, send your good vibes at exactly three o’clock Pacific Mean Time. Meantime, today is Ask BK Day, so whip out your excellent questions and ask away. If I have time, I shall compose the answers on Friday evening and post them on Saturday. However, I fly to New York early that morning, so they may just have to go up Sunday. We shall see what we shall see. Now, I shall have one more glass of whine and I shall be on my merry way. Ask away, my pretties.

Replies: 31 Unseemly Comments

What is your favorite John Raitt performance/musical role?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 10/02/2002 08:07 AM PST

Dear BK -- What's the holdup on the Cinegrill? That's what I want to know.
Posted by Laura @ 10/02/2002 08:26 AM PST

Well, at least you've had a slice of cheese with your whine... Now you just need some nice crackers!
Question: Have you ever mistaken a celebrity for another celebrity? And what kind of hilarity or hiding in the corner ensued afterwards?
And a question for all of us, more or less: With the recent decision regarding the price fixing of CDs, part of the settlement includes reimbursing consumers for any overages they may have paid. I laughed out loud when I read that. Will it be like all those credit card interest settlements where people - myself included - received $0.84 after all was said and done. And I just have to wonder how well the average consumer has kept track of all the receipts for all the CDs they've bought in the past seven years. I appreciate the terms of the settlement, but I have to wonder about the practicality of it.
*Oh, maybe this should be posted on free-for-all day... Well, bk can answer it on Saturday, and they rest of you can chime on the appropriate date. ;-) -Sheesh, am I on NyQuil too?
On a happier note, the Virginia State Fair is selling Fried Oreos! And Fried Snickers. -Too bad they didn't have the Fried Twinkies this year.
Posted by Jose C. Simbulan @ 10/02/2002 08:35 AM PST

We all know of the upcoming revivals of GYPSY and THE MUSIC MAN(TV).
What do you think of the prospect of seeing and hearing Bernadette and Matthew in the leading roles?In both cases,it looks like casting against type.But many great performances are performances against type.Your opinion??
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 10/02/2002 08:38 AM PST

Speaking of Jose's Fried Twinkies ... there is a recipe in today's Richmond Times-Dispatch. Sounds perfectly dreadful. But if eaten while at the State Fair, they might be fun. And yes, our State Fair is a GREAT State Fair, to be sure. (An R&H reference.)
For BK: Whatever happened to nationally-known Broadway stars? Is Bernadette the last one? Is it the demise of New York-based TV variety shows that means these people are unknowns outside this group of Hainsies/Kimlets? Seems in my youth Merman and Martin and Drake and Raitt were national names. Your opinion, please.
Posted by Philip Crosby @ 10/02/2002 09:09 AM PST

Jose: Fried Twinkies could be found at Fire Island and Provencetown all summer long. ;-)
BK: Of all the DVDs you've seen in the last, say, six months, which would you list as the top five must-have-in-anyone's-collection titles?
Posted by S. Woody White @ 10/02/2002 09:10 AM PST

Re fried oreos, fried twinkies and fried snickers: GOOD LORD!!
Posted by Laura @ 10/02/2002 09:40 AM PST

Well, hold your good vibes because the meeting got cancelled (this IS show business after all) - to be rescheduled for another day either this week or next. I will let you know when you can send your good vibes. In the meantime, send your good xylophones so I can get better.
Posted by bk @ 10/02/2002 09:55 AM PST

I don't know nothin' 'bout no fried twinks, snickers or other stuff, including ice cream.
What I DO KNOW about is "Fried Mozzarella" -- with good Italian "mozzarella bufala" -- buffalo mozzarella. There's nothing like it. It's creamy, rather than waxy. When it's fried, it's heaven on earth.
I've had TGIF fried mozzarella. While it's okay, it's not comparable to what you can get in Italia....but then, I feel that way about pizza and calzone, too.
And then there's southern fried chicken, but we don't need to go there.
BK needs chicken soup and lots of it. All this fried stuff is bad for his throat.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 10/02/2002 10:00 AM PST

For Ask BK Day:
What LPs that have never been issued on CD (Broadway Shows or other types) would you like to see released as CDs? Also what films that have never been released on DVD do you think are most deserving of being put out in that format?
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 10/02/2002 10:11 AM PST

My question for ask BK Day:
Which vocal artists (male or female) do you believe have been most successful in making the crossover from the world of opera and classical music to the world of musical theatre and/or pop? Are there any recordings by any of these crossover artists that you particularly cherish?
Posted by jay @ 10/02/2002 12:57 PM PST

Will you answer the remaining questions from last time?
What were your favourite recordings from the late fifties/early sixties when the "play with" stereo discs were being made? eg. Those Martin Denny and Arthur Lyman recordings and the Ferrante & Teicher piano recordings which "rolled" between the speakers.
Posted by Tom from OZ @ 10/02/2002 02:48 PM PST

I happen to like fried meeces!
Posted by Trixie @ 10/02/2002 04:04 PM PST

Fried meeces? Yipes!!!
Posted by Dixie and Pixie @ 10/02/2002 04:05 PM PST

Next to chicken soup, posts make me feel better, and yet there aren't many posts, hence I do not feel better, hence I shall go stand in a corner and eat some worms.
Posted by bk @ 10/02/2002 04:27 PM PST

I have been out and about today. I took a stray cat that's been hanging around our yard to the vet to be fixed this morning. Then I spent about an hour standing in line for a flu shot. Then after getting home, my DH and I removed some illegal campaign signs from our church property. Don't I lead an exciting life??
Posted by Laura @ 10/02/2002 04:34 PM PST

Have you ever played a Shakespearean role? What was it?
Are there any Shakespeare plays that you particularly love or hate?
When will this TV show begin to be shown?
Who is producing FNM for the stage?
Have you been eating chicken soup?
Are there any newspapers that you particularly love or hate?
Also, a moment of silence for the demise of The Free Times, Ohio's best alternative weekly newspaper. It was felled today by corporate wrangling. In the same deal, one of the L.A. alternative weeklies will cease publication. Clevelanders now have only the terrible Scene to read.
It is also a great loss to Cleveland theatre, as the reviewers there were among the best in the city, and the ones at the remaining papers are substandard. Sigh.
Posted by Hapgood @ 10/02/2002 04:38 PM PST

First a get well wish to BK. I hope you will be well enough to attend the NY Party Sunday.
I just heard of another publication that is coming to an end: the next issue of Show Music is supposed to be its last. No details yet, but it will be a real shame. Every month I look forward to reading all of Max's reviews. I also dread reading about new releases coming up because it means more money to spend and more space to find! Apparently Goodspeed doesn't want to finance it anymore. This is from a theatre that is so elite if you don't have a car there is absolutely no way to get there... no trains, no buses, etc. Maybe they'll use the money they save on the magazine to put in a shuttle bus from the nearest town you can get to.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 10/02/2002 05:19 PM PST

Dear BK: I understand worms are very good for you, but does it have to be CHICKEN soup?
Posted by Big Bird @ 10/02/2002 05:42 PM PST

Rather surprised no one here has mentioned this yet...
Les Miserables is scheduled to end its Broadway run on March 15th.
http://www.playbill.com/cgi-bin/plb/news?cmd=show&code=113027
Posted by Jed @ 10/02/2002 06:12 PM PST

Hello everyone, been absent for a week or so. I have been hard at work rewriting and rewriting two screenplays for a contest whose deadline is tonight at 11:59:59. I had to make a last minute change in a character's name on the advice of lawyer. The character in the story is actor who I gave the real name of a very prominent actor working today. So I didn’t want to get in trouble before I’ve even got started.
My question is for BK is this:
On my quest to have every cd that BK every produced I purchased “Hit TV” My question I this: Most themes are anywhere from 30 seconds to maybe a minute or so at the most. What did you to expand them to play an average of three minutes?
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 10/02/2002 06:41 PM PST

I've been waiting all week this week for Ask BK day...
Have you heard the new Elvis #1 collection, where all the songs have been remastered within an inch of their lives, and half of the songs have also been remixed (although the producers were very careful not to use that word lest people think it meant the addition of a dance beat or something)... I think I know what you would say about this process before listening to the album, but I'm curious what you think of the results.
Posted by dlevy @ 10/02/2002 07:51 PM PST

My computer is not back from being fixed, so I have just a few minutes to check on things at a public library. My question is not a theatrically related one, at all.
I'm in the process of buying a house. I've found the house and have applied for a loan, and the loan officer with whom I've been working feels confident that I'll get it. Assuming (which I know can be dangerous) that you have purchased houses in the past (or may even in the future), what advice would you (or anyone else, for that matter) give to a first time home buyer so as to avoid mistakes that you may have made. If you feel you haven't made mistakes, what have you learned that you could tell me so that I don't make (many) mistakes. Anything at all would be most helpful. Thanks. A Lot!
Posted by George @ 10/02/2002 07:58 PM PST

Well, dlevy...it's about time you posted again! I hope you'll hang around and post regularly.
Posted by Laura @ 10/02/2002 08:29 PM PST

How to soothe a sore throat:
1. Take two soluble aspirin
2. Dissolve in water (well, obviously!)
3. Gargle with it
Works for me every time.
Posted by Stephen Farrow @ 10/02/2002 08:33 PM PST

We just returned this evening from seeing Road to Perdition. Have you heard the score? What is your opinion of it?
Hope you're feeling better soon.
Posted by jb @ 10/02/2002 08:37 PM PST

Well, since it is ask BK DAY, and i've been writing busily, I'll ask a question (which i dno't think has been asked before):
Let's say that BK has the label, the studio, the time and the money to produce THE BARBRA STREISAND ALBUM 2003; what ten songs would we hear Babs performing? (And granting the assumption that Babs will take every bit of advice that Burce gives her willingly).
okay. back to Zero Patience.
Posted by td @ 10/02/2002 09:01 PM PST

Finally home, and have consumed more chicken soup (with two count them two matzoh balls) than is humanly possible. Hopefully that will help. This endless day was even more endless than usual - I'll talk about it in tomorrow's VERY short notes. I can't wait to come to NY, let me tell you THAT. I am so jiggy with coming to NY.
Posted by bk @ 10/02/2002 09:10 PM PST

How long have you lived in your current house? How many different residences have you had in yor life so far?
And to ask a Kerry Question: How many different kinds of cake have been in your current residence?
Posted by Kerry @ 10/02/2002 10:18 PM PST

Dear BK,
Would you please send me a postcard from New York?
Posted by Sandra @ 10/02/2002 11:23 PM PST

BK -- hope you are feeling better soon!!
Posted by Laura @ 10/02/2002 11:25 PM PST

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