haines his way

11/11/2002:
"MAY THE HAINESIES/KIMLETS BE WITH YOU"

Well, dear readers, here we are on a lovely Monday, and I must write quickly and depart. Oh, yes, I must write quickly and depart for today I start what is going to be an incredibly difficult four weeks at work. I have been handed two full shows (most of the shows are comprised of two twelve-minute bits, but some are full 30 minute one-bit shows) – the one I just completed was a full show as well. In fact, all my pieces have been full shows. I don’t know why I’m so blessed. In any case, I will be viewing tons of tapes this week, then I have to outline both pieces (I’ve already gotten a jump on one of them, thank goodness), and then write them. The trouble is, there still shooting stuff for both segments. It will be hellish, but I shall get through it, by gum and by golly. What will get me through it is knowing I can write these here notes every day, and then read all of your postings – so we must have a plethora of posts – you must post until the cows come home.
If anyone missed any of the wonderously wonderful celebrations going on here this weekend, you owe it to yourself to use the handy-dandy Unseemly Archive Button to catch up. We had a blast here all weekend – it was happening here, it was cool, man, cool, it was the ginchiest and the grooviest.
Last night, I finished Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. No, it is not the greatest motion picture ever made, no it’s not perfect, but I am so tired of these pimple-faced little snots who proliferate on all the film newsgroups who do nothing but bash this film and The Phantom Menace. It’s a measure of the world we live in, frankly, and it bores me to tears. If either of these films had been released within ten years of the trilogy, the audiences would have eaten them up. It’s not that they weren’t hits, mind you, these films did just fine – it’s just the whining and complaining, and about what? These two films are totally in the spirit of the original Star Wars – I’d bet the whiners and complainers find that film quaint. After all, when you think The Matrix and Spiderman are the second coming, then what chance does an old-fashioned space opera have? In any case, even though it’s not perfect, I did enjoy it immensely, and the effects and digital work is so astonishing that I think people just sort of take it for granted because it all looks so real and is so seamless. I liked this one better than The Phantom Menace, although I enjoyed that, too (I know I am in the minority, but I don’t care – I enjoyed it and that’s all there is to it and that includes Mr. Jar Jar Binks – if that character had been in the first three films, he would have been accepted and loved totally. I am convinced of this). Mr. John Williams’ score is one of the best of this series. And, once again, I’m sorry to have to say it, but Mr. George Lucas’ direction is terrific. Fast, fun and, as I said, filled with mind-boggling CGI work.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below and find out if the force is with us.

Yes, by gum and by golly, the force is with haineshisway.com and we are better for it. Yesterday, I was contacted by the lady who runs the biggest Partridge Family website, and she asked me to do an interview and I, of course, said I would be more than happy to. I’ll let you know when it takes place and then all Hainsies/Kimlets can go read said interview and we can all say c’mon get happy.
Tonight is our second unseemly live chat and I do hope that all you various and sundried people can join in the merriment and mirth and laughter and legs. Oh, what fun we shall have, telling tales out of school. Oh, yes, we shall tell tales out of school and we shall be the better for it. In any case, if you’d like to take part, please e-mail me your IM handles as soon as you can and I will pass them along to whoever’s setting up the chat (probably our very own Susan Gordon as I don’t know if Michael Shayne is available). If you have not gotten a confirmation from me, please post on the site, because apparently some e-mails to me have gone astray, like the man that got away. Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell the man in the street, tell the Randy Vicar, that our live chat is more fun than a barrel of meat.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must go hither and thither and even yon as I wend my way toward Woodland Hills. Today’s topic of discussion: What do you think is the most perfect musical ever written? The perfect blend of book, music and lyrics. I’ve said my choice fairly often – Gypsy. But I’m interested to hear your choices dear readers and the reasons for your choice. Post away, my pretties, and see you tonight at the Unseemly Live Chat, which will begin precisely at 7:30, when I get home.

Replies: 53 Unseemly Comments

Hmmmmmm.....GYPSY is such a great choice. And at your suggestion, BK, we are talking about PERFECTION here. Hmmmmm....still thinking.
Will miss the chat tonight.... 8-(
Have a great time everyone!!
Posted by Jrand55 @ 11/11/2002 07:16 AM PST

Well, since you took my first choice Gypsy already, here are some very close runners-up:
Guys and Dolls
My Fair Lady
The King and I
Posted by Philip Crosby @ 11/11/2002 07:43 AM PST

Three shows come to mind:
1. Sweeney Todd
2. Li'l Abner
3. City of Angels...
Posted by Craig @ 11/11/2002 07:46 AM PST

I like to think the "perfect" musical has not yet been written, and that's why we all keep going and listening, hoping to find it....
But of what's out there, I'd have to give my nod to "Guys and Dolls." It's all meat/no filler; the score is varied, musically literate, and ranges from psychological insight ("My Time of Day"--gorjus)to just plain fun; you couldn't imagine the story without the score; and it's not a star vehicle.
Posted by Pam @ 11/11/2002 07:58 AM PST

I have to also go with GYPSY and GUYS AND DOLLS but to those two I will add SOUTH PACIFIC and A CHORUS LINE. When I first saw ACL off-Broadway I loved it but didn't think it would be popular with people who didn't live and breathe musical theatre. Happily I was wrong.
I'm with BK on the two recent "Star Wars" films. They may not be great cinema but they are a lot of fun... as much fun as the initial trilogy. The bad acting is part of the fun.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 11/11/2002 09:17 AM PST

Perfect Musicals:
My two choices would be Sweeney Todd and She Loves Me - one large show, one small show.
Posted by Jose C. Simbulan @ 11/11/2002 09:36 AM PST

She Loves Me
Fiddler on the Roof
Gypsy
A Chorus Line
BK, congratulations on your first year anniversary. I didn't get to log on this weekend until after 11 PM EST last night and so didn't get to send you my good wishes. I've been with you since your first Real A column.
Posted by steveg @ 11/11/2002 09:36 AM PST

GYPSY has to be Numero Uno-without question.
CAROUSEL
SHE LOVES ME
SWEENEY TODD
GUYS AND DOLLS
and in its own small way
THE FANTASTICKS
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 11/11/2002 09:52 AM PST

This just in from Ken M.:
Update on the revival of Fiddler on the Roof, scheduled for next season: Alfred Molina is now likely to play Tevye. Molina's current TV series, "Bram and Alice," was recently cancelled. His musical theatre credits include Jud in the 1980 London revival of Oklahoma!, and the title role in the London production of Destry Rides Again.
Posted by Craig @ 11/11/2002 09:53 AM PST

If the casting turns out to be true, Kenny will say "you heard it here first" - if it turns out not to be true Kenny will ignore it as if he never said it.
If you're going to take part in our live chat this evening, do start sending me your IM names (even if you did so last week, please do so again), so we can get you on the list.
Posted by bk @ 11/11/2002 10:00 AM PST

Also.. Lee Wilkoff is signed to play Mushnik. I think this revival will be a lot of fun.. and I am looking forward to catching a pre-broadway look at it when it does its out of town tryout in FL...
See you chatside tonight..
Posted by Craig @ 11/11/2002 10:20 AM PST

Some of my choices of (near) perfect musicals:
GYPSY
WEST SIDE STORY
1776
I love the fact that Lee Wilkof is going to play Mushnik after creating Seymour in the original production. I wonder how many actors/actresses have created a role in a show then aged (gracefully) to the point of playing another role in the same show in a different production. Both Sian Phillips and Glynis Johns played Desiree then Madame Armfeldt in A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC. Any others?
Posted by George @ 11/11/2002 10:33 AM PST

Well.. I hope that the "more than rumors" are true and Carol B return to make the TV Movie of Once Upon A Mattress as Queen Agravain. Although.. she could still pull off the princess easily
Posted by Craig @ 11/11/2002 10:37 AM PST

But the sad thing that Mendelbaum also said was that Debbie Gravite won't be connected with the Bernadette Peters revisal of GYPSY.
Meanwhile my favorite casting rumor (which I have read in two places): When Vanessa Williams goes out of the woods the new witch will be Susan Lucci!
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 11/11/2002 10:40 AM PST

GYPSY is Numero Uno.
SHE LOVES ME
THE FANTASTICKS
FOLLIES (original book only)
RAGTIME (I am still in awe of this show. To think that the book is totally narrative, not a single line of dialogue in it at all).
Posted by td @ 11/11/2002 11:10 AM PST

Ok, I this huge confession to make, I have never seen a production of "Gypsy" - even any of the movies all the way through. I do have to say, that I think "The Music Man" should be among one of those perfect shows. It's one of the only shows that one person wrote the book, lyrics and music. (and we shouldn't argue about Frank Loesser's involvement with "My White Night") Did Joel Grey do a stint in the recent "Cabaret" revival perhaps as someone else? So hard to keep track, nice to have pals here that will do that for you, I suppose! Sure learn a lot here. Will miss the chat AGAIN this week. Have a blast.
Posted by Matthew @ 11/11/2002 11:35 AM PST

One more thing...don't miss Lifetime TV's "The Nanny" marathon today beginning at 1:00pm PST! Talk about a a sit-com with a lot of musical theatre references, it's so much fun.
Posted by Matthew @ 11/11/2002 11:38 AM PST

Here are my choices in no order, (many already mentioned)
She Loves Me
A Little Night Music
Music Man
1776 (I LOVE this show and would kill to play John Adams, well not literally, but figuratively)
Gypsy (I join the crowd)
Guys and Dolls
I'm so glad Brockman pere mentioned Sweeny because I think it's nigh on perfect also.
Posted by Ben @ 11/11/2002 11:43 AM PST

Unfortunatly I am not available for the Monday night chats. But will be very happy to continue to do it on Sundays
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 11/11/2002 12:55 PM PST

I don't know that I could cite a lot of scholarly, high-minded reasons to defend my choice, but I have just always really, really had a soft spot for The Music Man.
Wm. E. L.: You saw Chorus Line pre-Broadway???? That is amazing! I am suitably awed.
Posted by Lulu @ 11/11/2002 12:57 PM PST

By the way, has there already been a whole discussion here about the VH1/Liza & David implosion?
I was actually looking forward to witnessing the train wreck that their show was gonna be...in a sick and twisted and vile way, of course.
Posted by Lulu @ 11/11/2002 12:59 PM PST

I think the following are the perfect blend.
My Fair Lady which I also believe is the best blend.
Sweeney Todd is also excellent. hard to know where the libretto ends and the lyrics begin.
Gypsy is also an excellent choice.
1776 is a good choice especially in that long sequence without music. It sings verbally.
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 11/11/2002 01:00 PM PST

When I am not in the first half dozen posts I always seem to be copying the other selections.
Sweeney Todd
Guys And Dolls
Gypsy
A little Night Music
Carousel
She Loves Me
I think "110 In The shade" and "Ragtime" seems wonderful but I have seen neither produced.
Billy.
Posted by Tom from OZ @ 11/11/2002 01:04 PM PST

Most of the best have been mentioned -- She Loves Me, Guys and Dolls, Gypsy, 1176, Follies (original) and My Fair Lady.
To which I would add the original version of Once Upon a Mattress, in which Lady Larkin's story is the equal of Winnifred's, and Carnival, an absolute gem that needs no rewrites at all.
In an aside, check out Jim Henson's page on the Internet Movie Database and click on his photo a few times. Surprise, surprise!
Posted by Robert Armin @ 11/11/2002 01:04 PM PST

Robert..
I have never heard of 1176...who wrote the music and lyrics ;)
Posted by Craig @ 11/11/2002 01:11 PM PST

YOU never heard of 1176?
It's fantastic. Best musical *ever made* about the Norman conquest of Ireland. I highly recommend it.
Posted by Lulu @ 11/11/2002 01:16 PM PST

Did Meltz and Ernest write that show?
Posted by Craig @ 11/11/2002 01:20 PM PST

I'm sorry that was, of course, a typo! I meant 1491 by Meredith Willson!
Posted by Robert Armin @ 11/11/2002 01:20 PM PST

I for one was surprised to learn that Robert Armin is actually a muppet. Hats off to Jim Henson productions! I have met Robert face to face and I think he looks uncannily real. Such craftmanship!
Posted by William F. Orr @ 11/11/2002 01:36 PM PST

William -- it's not easy being green! :-)
Posted by Robert Armin @ 11/11/2002 02:10 PM PST

Musicals? Hmmm...truth is I've only ever seen three live musicals. They were The Phantom Of The Opera, Anne Of Green Gables and Saturday Night Fever. Truth is I wasn't too big on The Phantom Of The Opera, or Saturday Night Fever. I do think I would like the movie version of Saturday Night Fever, though. I did like Anne Of Green Gables, though. Perhaps, I didn't like the other two because I felt the first two relied too much on the actual music and lacked in the story department as Anne Of Green Gables, did not. I rather see something with not too many good visuals and songs but with a good story. As for movie musicals I liked Cabaret, All That Jazz, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Pink Floyd The Wall, Hedwig And The Angry Inch, Meet The Feebles, Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls, Little Shop Of Horrors, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, The Sound Of Music and The First Nudie Musical. I may have forgot some possibly but those are some that come to mind. I heard they are making The Phantom Of The Opera, into a movie. Perhaps, I may like it better then.
Posted by Brandon @ 11/11/2002 02:31 PM PST

Lulu:
Yes ACL played first at Joe Papp's Theatre in the Village (HAIR started there too, and based on the albums i8t was a much better show before it moved uptown with a different book and nudity-for-the-sake-of-publicity). ACL,?B> as originally a workshop there and the profits from it kept Papp's New York Shakespeare Festival open for years.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 11/11/2002 03:01 PM PST

Oh, no, we have to go get Mark Bakalor now--run and hide while you can.
Posted by Bold Police @ 11/11/2002 04:09 PM PST

My list of musicals with the perfect blend of book, music and lyrics ...
1. Gypsy (natch!)
2. The Music Man (truly inspired)
3. Carousel (the book is exceptionally strong)
4. Redhead (a real romp of a story that moves right along)
5. My Fair Lady (when you see if for the first time, you're transported)
6. A Little Night Music (perfect Sondheim)
7. Sweeney Todd (a real groundbreaker)
The first four musicals also have one other thing - perfect choreography -- an often overlooked component of a great musical.
Posted by Donna - Cabaret West @ 11/11/2002 04:30 PM PST

Bold begone!
Begone, I say!
Off with you!
Posted by William F. Orr @ 11/11/2002 04:35 PM PST

Oh, William, you are so good at that, we will have to start calling you the second Mr. Bakalor. Let's see, though. One more thing. Can you say
"You're all crazy" and make it convincing?
Posted by Ben @ 11/11/2002 05:07 PM PST

Perfect musicals (IMHO and in no particular order):
1. Sweeney Todd
2. Carousel
3. Gypsy
4. The Last Five Years (though some might argue that it's more of a revue than a "musical")
5. I'm gonna get flack for this one...The Phantom of the Opera
6. A Little Night Music
7. Guys and Dolls
8. Another one I'll get flack for: Evita
9. Hairspray
10. And yet more flack: Les Miserables
Posted by Jason @ 11/11/2002 05:17 PM PST

Matthew -- I also have yet to see a stage production of Gypsy. So don't feel so bad.
Jason -- everyone is entitled to their own opinions. And in my opinion, I agree with your mention of the big British Blockbusters. Ready for some flack throwing.
See you at the chat. Bummer -- we have to wait another two hours.
Posted by Angela D. @ 11/11/2002 05:28 PM PST

I don't know if it's a perfect traditonal musical, but I think it's one of the most perfect through-composed, i.e., pop- operatic musicals ever composed. (And nobody has mentioned it so far):
THE GOLDEN APPLE.
It even produced a classic hit, or at least a classic standard, the wonderful "Lazy Afternoon".
I also think PAL JOEY is a nearly perfect property, and ground- breaking for its time.
Posted by Ross Care @ 11/11/2002 05:40 PM PST

Unseemly Live Chat begins at 7:30 - you still have time to get me your IM names. See you in an hour.
Posted by bk @ 11/11/2002 06:31 PM PST

I usually list three choices for the most perfect musical:
"Gypsy"
"She Loves Me"
"Guys and Dolls"
All three are quite wonderful.
Posted by Stephen Farrow @ 11/11/2002 07:08 PM PST

I am very in tune with many of the choices made above, especially Gypsy, The Music Man, She Loves Me, 1776, A Little Night Music, et.al.
I would add Bye, Bye Birdie to the list (don't recall seeing, but someone probably listed it, too).
I wish I could join you in the chat session, but I have to sadly report that I was forced, for my own sanity, to disinstall the AIM feature from AOL.
It was prolonging my log-on, giving me three screens to close every time I logged on, and bringing far too much advertising into my dealings with the internet. I left that sort of stuff behind when I dumped AOL for Prodigy DSL (and yes, it's THE best thing going, IMO). The last week has been like a month, so irritated had I become. It was great to be able to be included, but the inconvenience factor was too high.
I do hope interesting tidbits that pop up and out of the live chats will make their way to the Unseemly Message page at some time.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 11/11/2002 07:32 PM PST

Wow! Chatting is so much fun tonight! So many people (a Stephen Sondheim reference), including a certain FUNNY GIRL herself!
Posted by td @ 11/11/2002 07:55 PM PST

-Craig
Posted by Obligatory Poster @ 11/11/2002 08:29 PM PST

post . . . there, i've posted . . . now back to the chat room, where it's a happening place . . .
:-)
Posted by Susan Gordon @ 11/11/2002 08:30 PM PST

Oh, what a lively bit of chat
we're having tonight! Special
guests, gossip, ham chunks,
cheese slices... all you could
ask for in a chat room! Well,
for a family chat room, anyway.
Back to the chat I go!
Posted by Jed @ 11/11/2002 08:32 PM PST

Does anyone know how to reach the delightful delovely DLevy via e-mail? Private replies, please. thanks
Posted by Pam @ 11/11/2002 09:33 PM PST

Oy. It's been a long time away, but I'm finally home. I left home on October 21 and drove to Chicago to help my mother-in-law get things in order to move into a retirement home. The day after I returned home, the dear reader girls and I left for LA, where we had dinner with BK and the next day saw our own Jason Graae in a Jerry Herman show in Orange County. We just returned home a few hours ago. Now I'm ready to be home to stay for a while!
Posted by Laura @ 11/11/2002 09:38 PM PST

The discussion today will certainly give me some food for thought: I've been exploring "Second Song Theory" again over at Sondheim.com, and the shows you all regard as "perfect" should provide me with plenty of examples to explore.
My own top "perfect" shows would have to be Gypsy, The Music Man, My Fair Lady, and Sunday in the Park with George. If Gypsy has a flaw, it lies in the very weak opening number, but if "Let Us Entertain You" weren't so weak, the setting of the show wouldn't be so firmly set in our minds. Plus, the Overture and second song, "Some People," more than make up for it's weaknesses with their undeniable power.
Posted by S. Woody White @ 11/11/2002 09:40 PM PST

Ron: As for all the AIM "extras", you can eliminate most of them via the preferences window. Also, if you know how to use the "msconfig" utility in Windows - I assume you're using Windows - you can also prevent it (and any other program) from loading when your computer boots up. I always check to see what "automatic" things get loaded whenever I install a new program. It's amazing all the program components that can be selected to load upon booting up. -I disable everything except for the necessary utilities. I mean, who needs Word, AOL, Intel Pic, etc., to load every time your computer boots up - you still have to double-click the icon anyway to start it up.
-Hope this helps.
-And I'm sorry I missed the chat. After locking my keys in my car earlier tonight - first time in NINE years! - my schedule had to be adjusted accordingly. Hope there was plenty of merriment and knoshing.
Posted by Jose C. Simbulan @ 11/11/2002 09:43 PM PST

I've sent your CastRec message to David, Pam.
Posted by Mr. Mark Bakalor @ 11/12/2002 12:45 AM PST

Whewwwwww! So sorry I missed the chat. 8-( But just to finish my thought from yesterday...I agree with those who added Music Man to the perfect musicals - right after Gypsy.
Posted by Jrand55 @ 11/12/2002 02:45 AM PST

I missed the chat also. I mis-read the time in the initial notes and was waiting around for an invite at 9pm eastern time, then went back to check the board and saw that it was scheduled to start at 10:30 eastern time. Since I'm back to being busy for a few days at work, I decided to pack it in and go to bed. I hope to be there on Sunday for the chat.
And now some news about our own Dear Reader Jose. He's mentioned (albeit briefly) in Playbill On-Line's story about South Pacific. Here's the link
http://www.playbill.com/cgi-bin/plb/news?cmd=show&code=113844
I do love that show. I did a wonderful summer stock production in 1979 playing one of the sailors. Dame is a great chorus number. Hope you're having as much fun, Jose.
Posted by Ben @ 11/12/2002 04:06 AM PST

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