Posted by Pam @ 02/25/2003 08:57 AM PST

In fact, I was one of those four people who were all in different time zones. It was truly an amazing experience.

Well, I have just had another amazing experience: my Career Exploration class. Believe it or not, we actually started exploring some careers today. We went to the career center where the career center ladies and my 350-pound psycho-therapist helped us explore the careers of highschool football coach and anthropologist.

Have any of you ever been in a very quiet place, like, say, a library, and suddenly not be able to stop hicupping? I am once again getting the evil eye from the librarian.

(How's that for witty and urbane?)

Posted by Sandra @ 02/25/2003 09:09 AM PST

I'm a day behind, so here is my casting for "Dolly" (maybe not worst case, but certainly the most vapid)

Dolly: Mary Hart
Horace: John Davidson

Cornelius: Barry Williams
Irene: Laurne Tewes

Barnaby: Gary Conway
Minnie: MacKenzie Phillips

Posted by Kerry @ 02/25/2003 09:12 AM PST

This was not a "worst" trip but it was a funniest. A dear friend died a few years ago and I ended up with the ashes. Since this friend loved Disney World more than anyplace, I decided to scatter his ashes there. Two friends and I went to the Magic Kingdom with the ashes. First I had my picture taken with Mickey Mouse who had no idea what was in the box I held up for the picture. During the course of the day we spread ashes in numerous places like in the water of It's A Small World, the garden behind Space Mountain and of course the graveyard at The Haunted Mansion.

Posted by William E. Lure @ 02/25/2003 09:35 AM PST

Well, it is cold and wet outside, so I'm back at the library. I've stopped with the hiccups, but I'm still getting the evil eye from the librarian for having a bottle of Cherry Coke in the library. Good thing she can't see the open bag of potato chips in my bag.

Posted by Sandra @ 02/25/2003 09:50 AM PST

Dear Reader Sandra:

We are all waiting with bated breath. Which did you decide on, football coach or anthropologist?

Or are you waiting till something better comes along? Oh, a Stephen Sondheim reference.

Posted by William F. Orr @ 02/25/2003 09:50 AM PST

Well, the guy who missed the first few classes because he got arrested is going to be both a football coach and a fashion designer, so there's really no reason why I can't be a football coach, an anthropologist, and a world famous fencer.

Posted by Sandra @ 02/25/2003 09:53 AM PST

I had a lovely trip to Santa Fe for a week -- I nearly died the first day because I not only went from sea level to 4,000 feet above by flying into Albuquerque, but my hosts decided to take me to a special restaurant that very evening en route to Santa Fe -- and we took a cable car up Sandia Peak -- or, well over 10,000 feet above sea level. I recall very little other than my hosts inquiring as to whether I was all right. I'm sure the food and wine were wonderful, though. By the time we got to Santa Fe (6,000 feet above sea level), I had my "legs" and got a good night's sleep!

When I was in the Navy and assigned to Italy, I hosted any number of friends for two weeks at a time, taking them to Florence, Rome, Venice, Capri, Sorrento, etc.

On a return trip to the U.S., I was able to find five days to spend in the Bay Area and one of those friends who had visited me in Italy invited me to stay with him. I spent the worst two and half days of my life in his apartment -- I was made to feel I was imposing at every turn even though I was out all day and bought dinner each evening. Into the third day, I packed my bag and called a cab. I informed my host/former friend I would be spending the rest of my time in the City of San Francisco. He appeared shocked and asked if something was wrong. I told him, "Yes! A friend invited me to visit, and I found I was staying with a stranger."

I'm a firm believer that when you invite someone into your home, you treat that guest with honor and dignity. If you cannot do that, you should not extend an invitation.

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 02/25/2003 09:58 AM PST

A long time ago, someone I was seeing and I took up an offer from acquaintance to use his mountain cabin in upstate New York for three nights. We thought it would be fun and romantic. Yeah, right. This cabin was well into the woods, so we had to leave the car about half a mile away and schlep our stuff (including food provisions for the three days) to the cabin. The cabin had neither plumbing facilities nor an outhouse, so we had to take care of business in the woods, which is OK by me for Number 1 but not so OK at all by me for Number 2. Even though it was summer, it was FREEZING at night, and, of course, there was no heat in the cabin or even a fireplace. There was a lake close by for bathing, but the water must have been a nano-degree over the freezing point, so taking a full dip was out of the question. A "kindly" neighbor came by in the morning and said there must have been bears in the area at night because he spied some bear droppings not too far away. Well, maybe it was bear droppings, and maybe it wasn't.
We decided that one night of roughing it was enough and we made our way to civilization for the rest of the weekend.

Someone, please explain to me the attraction of camping!

Posted by Jay @ 02/25/2003 10:34 AM PST

Well, worst trip,yes; but still much fun.

In the summer of 1976 I contracted to teach three math courses (in Esperanto) at the Free University of Antwerp. The pay would just about cover my travel costs, but, hey, it was a trip to a new country and a chance to spend twenty-four hours a day practicing my language skills.

I was on the West coast at the time, so I flew overnight from Portland to Seattle to Heathrow, where I claimed my bags and changed planes for a SABENA (Such A Bloody Experience! Never Again!) flight to Brussells, where I caught a bus at the airport to the center of Antwerp, hopped on a trolley (as per written instructions) to Groenplatz, and proceeded to walk, carrying two very heavy suitcases.

Well, Europe was in the middle of a heat wave and drought that summer, and I was covered with sweat. The instructions said to turn "dekstren" (right) instead of "maldekstren", so I got lost and had to ask directions to the student housing where I was supposed to stay.

One of my hosts met me at the door (I was almost 24 hours without sleep at this point) and chided me, "You're late! You are supposed to eat dinner at my house!"

I begged a few minutes to get to my room and wash up, only to find we were expected to bring our own soap and towels.

Whisked off to dinner with several other participants in a suburb of the city, I had quite a nice dinner followed by "gin", which is not gin at all in Belgium (where hard liquor cannot be sold) but rather White Lightening cooked up by somebody's grandfather. (They call it "schnapps" in Alsace, but it is the same thing, 200 proof isopropol.)

We were all chatting gaily in Esperanto when a phone call came from the lodgings, "You're late! This night tour of the city is about to start."

So we all zoomed back to the center of the city for a walking tour of Anwerp by night, including the famous red-light district, where we were told how sailors bargain with the ladies displaying their wares in store-front windows.

And we were taken to the famous kinky street where the ladies looked like ladies--ah! but underneath! (OaSSR) (Oh, a Stephen Sondheim reference in Internet Lingo.)

Oh yes, and we did see the diamond district and Rubens' birthplace and all that. And stopped several times at cafés for beer.

I don't know when I got to bed, but I must have had about three hours of sleep, when Knock, Knock! "You're late..."

Breakfast of hard rolls and jam, into a French member's Deux Chevaux and out to the university campus--other side of town, natch! Two courses to teach that morning--a quick lunch at the student cafeteria called "Amerikanische Bifstek" but actually Steak Tartar--raw hamburger with raw egg, capers, mustard and ketchup--and an "everybody back on the bus tour" in the afternoon.

And so it went for three weeks of jet lag, no sleep, no time to think, constant motion, teaching students from Poland, Portugal, England, and France.

And I loved every minute of it. Wouldn't trade it for the world.

Posted by William F. Orr @ 02/25/2003 10:36 AM PST

Ah! Memories! (A Barbra Streisand-Paul Williams reference).

I had a Deux Chevaux! It was burgandy and black with dove grey interior. It was enchanting. Sadly, it was stolen out of my locked garage and locked gate. A real professional job it was, too! The locks were just "slipped" out!

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 02/25/2003 10:45 AM PST

Jay,

My Joe has always been enamoured of camping, which (blessedly!) we haven't done since he came down with his neuro-muscular disorder.

However, we did find a compromise: we would go up to New Paltz and stay at Mohonk, the monstrous century-plus hotel with a fireplace in the room, no TVs and all-you-can eat meals included.

During the day, Joe can hike and rock climb to his heart's content (someday I will tell you the disastrous literal cliff-hanger about how we discovered the place) on the acres and acres of mountainous terrain.

But then we can go back, wash up, and go to the grand salon for high tea and a string quartet followed by a fire and warm sheets. I guess I'm just a domesticated animal like you.

Posted by William F. Orr @ 02/25/2003 10:46 AM PST

One year, my husband's obsession was buying a camper for fun family camping vacations. Now, my husband is quite thrifty, to put it nicely. Therefore, he bought a very old very small motorhome mounted on a Toyota truck frame. It was his pride and joy. It also put us in the poorhouse from all the repairs it took to keep it going. It had no bathroom, but there was a porta-potty under the kitchen counter. The propane refrigerator kept food about one degree above the spoiling mark. The fridge had to be kept shut with a bungie cord (once we went around a curve, the door opened, and a cantaloupe rolled to the front seat.) The air conditioning was inadequate, so when we left Arizona, it always had to be in the middle of the night, and we were sweltering in any state where it was warm. We used this camper to go to his family reunions in Kansas.

So, there you have all the elements of a lousy vacation: a cheap husband, an old camper with no bathroom, Kansas (which I think is lovely, but I'm terribly allergic to it)and 75 in-laws!

Now, to the mom on a camping trip, it is no vacation -- there are children to tend, meals to cook, dishes to wash, beds to make up every night, everything has to be completely stowed away for driving, and eight hours of riding in a truck during the day.
We went every two years to family reunions, and although we did buy other campers to use as they wore out, family camping trips are all about the same. I'm sure Sandra will agree with me. There is sometimes just too much family togetherness.

So now BK knows why I now travel with Sandra and leave the husband behind. And why Motel 6 is luxurious accommodations to me.

Posted by Laura @ 02/25/2003 11:26 AM PST

The funniest trip I ever took was to your very own hometown, BK, when I was but a child. My father was President of the SLC Lion's Club, and the Lion's Club convention that year was in LA, so the whole family trekked out there to let Dad attend meetings whilst we did Disneyland. The Lion's Club had booked us in a downtown LA hotel (and I use the term loosely) called the Normandy Wilshire. We knew something was amiss when the bellhop appeared at the car speaking no English. He managed to shut his tie in the trunk and as my Dad started to drive off, he was taking the bellhop with him. Things went rapidly downhill from there. The Normandy Wilshire was evidently a "residential" hotel for several elderly people, one of whom sat on a folding chair outside on the sidewalk and moved her chair every few minutes throughout the day to stay in the shade. There was another elderly lady who remained on the foyer couch for the entire time we were there. Then there was the gentleman with the talking dog named Ralph. We unfortunately could not understand a word Ralph said (barked?), but I personally believe it was Dog-ish for "Get me the hell out of here". Upon reaching our room, my Mother immediately said "I need a drink," and proceeded to pull out her ever handy flask of whiskey which she attempted to mix with 7Up. Unfortunately there was no bottle opener in the room, so she tried prying off the cap by inserting the bottle head in one of the chest of drawers drawer. She succeeded only in pulling the entire drawer face off of that drawer. I meanwhile decided to look around the hotel. Imagine my surprise when I found a staircase that ended--simply ended in a door which opened (no guard rail or anything) up close to the ceiling of the two story high foyer. Other lovely things the Normandy Wilshire featured were a rollaway bed stuffed with bloody kleenex, and a non-frosted glass shower door. My sisters discovered that the gloss paint on the ceiling was so reflective that they could identify the cars passing below by make and model, and that became a game to pass the time. Needless to say, we quickly decided not to stay and ended up vacationing at a Sheraton right on Long Beach. But our family has recounted our Normandy Wilshire experiences at every family get-together since.

Posted by JMK @ 02/25/2003 11:28 AM PST

Dear Reader William F. Orr--

Please don't get me wrong. Like your Joe, I LOVE to go hiking and spend time in the wilderness. Like you, after I've spent a day communing with nature, I like to come back to a hot shower, an elegant dinner and real bed.

Posted by Jay @ 02/25/2003 11:29 AM PST

I prefer my rugged nature experiences to come via National Geographic specials!

Does anyone here "know" Steve Newport? Can anyone explain him?

Ditto Robert John Guttke.

How do these guys find the time -- not to mention the stamina -- to overwhelm their newsgroups of choice with postings?

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 02/25/2003 11:31 AM PST

Check out the link to find out a little more about Steve Newport.

Definitely a guy with way too much time on his hands.

Posted by Dave @ 02/25/2003 12:10 PM PST

What great posts. And, I feel like that old TV show... YOU ARE THERE.

One August day in 1977, my friend Diane called and said that on the coming Saturday, two car groups were traveling to King's Island (now Paramount's Kings Island) just north of Cincinnati. She said all of the group were girls, but could my brother and I go so they would have some guys with them. I asked Dane, then 17, and we decided to go.

One of the groups drove with Cindy in her Plymouth, and the others drove with the other girl in her Chrysler. Somewhere along the Interstate, the Chrysler had a flat tire. Everyone got out of both cars, and everyone looked at me, so I changed the tire....the spare unfortunately was flat. I took it off, put it in the Plymouth and Cindy and I drove off to get it fixed. The man about ten miles down the road at the next exit...said...."This tire can't be fixed." The owner of the Chrysler had decided not to go with us, and I didn't want to buy her a new tire....so we drove back to the group. Of course we had to pass them and go back another five miles to the NEXT exit and come back.

The owner of the Chrysler said she knew her DAD didn't want to buy a new tire, I told her it was necessary. Off we went again, bought a used tire and came back. I changed the tire again....and off we went. We stopped at the next exit (a familiar one) for lunch. As the girls put gasoline in the car, I went to the restroom to wash my hands. It was a very nice restroom - and when I walked out, I noticed LADIES written on the door.

At King's Island (now Paramount's Kings Island), I went on one ride and got sick. The rest of the day was terrible...hot and crowded and long lines, the usual. On the way home, in the Chrysler, the driver got lost and four times we ended up in Kentucky....Ohio to Indiana should NOT be a tri-state trip. We finally got back to Indianapolis, and I drove home.

Dane said....Happy Birthday, Jack....for yes indeed, that Saturday was my birthday.

MY WORST TRIP.

Posted by Jrand52 @ 02/25/2003 12:16 PM PST

Why do the wrong people travel, travel, travel and the right people stay back home?

Posted by Noel Coward @ 02/25/2003 12:35 PM PST

I remember one camping trip in which my Grandpa pulled me aside and told me I was ugly and needed plastic surgery to remove the hideous birthmark on my leg. He said that if my parents cared about me, they would get rid of it. Then he told me I had low self-esteem and he gave me St. John's wort for my shyness.

I don't know if this counts or not, but one time, Grandpa was on vacation and he was visiting us. He refused to use the bathroom at night so he peed in a jar he kept under the bed. He was staying in my room, and I don't know if he missed the jar or if he spilled it, but there was a puddle next to my bed after he left.

Posted by Sandra @ 02/25/2003 12:56 PM PST

Wonderful posts - only here at haineshisway.com do such wonderful posts appear so regularly.

To answer Mr. Pulliam's question:

Steve Newport and Robert John Guttke are two people who love to tell everyone all about what professionals they are, and yet they have nothing whatsoever to do all day and all night but post to their respective newsgroups. In the case of Steve Newport, it is all he does, apparently from morning to evening and even the middle of the night. He must contribute to every single thread, and he even occasionally starts threads and then posts responses to HIMSELF. I mean, it's rather pathetic I think. Plus, he thought he was being clever recently by including my name along with my webtv username in a header. That's just stupid, bad form, and shows his complete lack of decorum. I took care of him but good, but it doesn't matter because he doesn't get that he's being taken care of but good. The ego behind these folks is rather astonishing. It does surprise me that a man who fancies himself an actor/singer would be so stupid as to annoy someone who could actually employ him. He's a first class twit, and because I'm sure that he googles himself every five minutes, hopefully he'll see this.

Robert John Guttke is a humorless jerk who thinks he owns a film music newsgroup (in the same way Newport thinks he owns the musical theatre newsgroup). I am proud to say that I've actually angered him so much that he's gone away for two or three months at a time. Apparently, I'm one of the few who can "get" to him. Again, he has nothing to do all day and night but take part in every single thread that's posted, often trying to be witty, and always failing miserably.

Posted by bk @ 02/25/2003 12:57 PM PST

I used to say that "roughing it" was going to a Holiday Inn that only had a black and white television. As I've matured and gotten older, I now say it is going to a Holiday Inn that doesn't have HBO.

Posted by steveg @ 02/25/2003 01:05 PM PST

Now, don't hold back, Bruce, tell us how you really feel.

Posted by George @ 02/25/2003 01:29 PM PST

Dear Reader Sandra:

I think Grampa is suffering from low self-esteem, and this is the cause of shyness. Doesn't St.-John's Wort produce incontinence?

Posted by William F. Orr @ 02/25/2003 01:39 PM PST

Now, now, Bruce. Be careful how you throw those stones...

Some people need the newsgroups because they don't have their own websites to talk about themselves every day. ;-)

Seriously, when I used to read the rec.arts.theatre.musicals newsgroup on a regular basis, I used to encounter individuals like this, and while it takes a great deal of will power, one must learn to ignore them. Eventually, they will either learn to play nicely or they will go away.

Posted by Dave @ 02/25/2003 01:39 PM PST

I don't think that any of my trips can really be classified as bad. There have been the usual long trips, incidents of getting lost, fights, etc. but nothing entertaining.

I am terribly unhappy to have missed the chat last night, it sounds like it was simply sparkling. I shall try to make it to the next one, but it is a very busy weekend, so I may be sleeping. I have to wake up early on both Saturday and Sunday. I do not relish this, nor do I even mustard it.

Posted by Hapgood @ 02/25/2003 02:04 PM PST

I'm pretty sure I've had some bad trips, but nothing comes to mind right now.

-Although, since I'm working on Hair right now, taking a "bad trip" has many connotations for me right now. -And I know I have not taken any of those kind. -Or at least can't remember that I have.

So, tonight I have an hour of Hair rehearsal, then another night in the pit of Mamma Mia!. Eclectic, huh?

I'll post again after the show.

Posted by Jose C. Simbulan @ 02/25/2003 02:10 PM PST

Dave - wrong Mr. Newport. Ours is a Stephen Ross Newport who wouldn't be caught dead anywhere near anything STAR TREK related. Interesting profile though for the wrong Steve.

Posted by td @ 02/25/2003 02:54 PM PST

Ooh, ooh--I forgot another salient feature of the Normandy Wilshire. It had one of those old-fashioned elevators with the grillwork gate that closed. And it immediately responded to anyone pressing a call button, even if it was in the middle of another "trip." Therefore you could get on, press Lobby, start to head down, and if someone on the 4th floor pressed the call button, the elevator would immediately lurch to a stop and then start ascending again. We spent several hours at the end of our stay trying to reclaim our bags which we had stupidly put on the elevator first just as we were getting ready to get on ourselves. Of course the damn thing took off with the bags and it was quite a little snark hunt to track them down again.

Posted by JMK @ 02/25/2003 03:02 PM PST

My dear, it has been over three hours since a post! How unseemly! I must post something. I am in the midst of my homework. Math is a most odious thing to me. (No offense to dear read William F. Orr.) It's not that I can't do it well, it's just that I dislike it.

Regarding yesterday's topic: Cher should be Dolly. Bob Hoskins should play Horace.

Posted by Hapgood @ 02/25/2003 06:24 PM PST

Yes, what in tarnation is going on here, that's what I'd like to know? We need our end of month push - remember, it's a SHORT month. We can't have slacking here at haineshisway.com. No slacking, so post you slackers.

Posted by bk @ 02/25/2003 07:37 PM PST

I'm not slacking! I'm working! Really!
We had our little cabaret's preview tonight, with our opening coming up on Thursday. . .yes, February is indeed a short month.

Posted by td @ 02/25/2003 07:58 PM PST

Well, I see my cheerleading did no good whatsoever. Bitch-slapping all around, say I.

Posted by bk @ 02/25/2003 09:28 PM PST

I had a lovely evening. Dear Reader Kerry called late this afternoon asking if I would like to use his aunt's ticket to Steve & Eydie's concert. As her Christmas gift, Kerry had bought the tickets and was going to take her. Unfortunately, she was ill today and couldn't go.

I've always loved Steve & Eydie, so I was off in the pouring rain for downtown. He had THIRD ROW seats. It was a great show. And it's particularly nice, at our age, to be the youngest folks in the audience -- for a change! THANK YOU, KERRY!!

Posted by Laura @ 02/25/2003 09:33 PM PST

I, too, got Ms. Errico's CD today and I must say it's a joy. Kinda slow throughout, but wonderful nonetheless.

My worst trip? Hmm...well, when I was about 9 years old my grandparents took me and my uncle and a friend of his from the drug rehab center (bad news from the start, right?) to Florida to visit Fort Myers and Orlando. It was the first trip I'd ever taken without my parents and my mom bought me a brand new pair of Reebok high-top sneakers, which were haute couture in the world of tennis shoes in those days. To put it shortly, I got third degree sunburns on my shoulders, creating HUGE blisters and a lot of pain. In fact, I wasn't able to lift my arms to take my shirt off that night and it had to be cut off of me. In addition to my sunburn at the beach, I lost one of my precious Reeboks (just one!) and I was so afraid that my mother was going to kill me that I freaked out and started to bawl right there on the beach. My grandmother, thinking that someone may have picked it up and threw it away, demanded that the sanitation people let us go through the trash to find it. They wouldn't allow us. So, off we went to K-Mart where my grandmother got me a $10 pair of MacGregor sneakers. I was horrified. The next day, our way from Fort Myers to Orlando, a huge thunderstorm dumped an amazing amount of rain while we were driving. As luck would have it, we got a flat tire, so my grandfather and uncle were out in the rain and I stayed in the car with my grandmother, crying because I was sure that one of the other guys were going to be hit by lightning and die. It was at that very moment that we realized that I not only had the sunburns, but I had sun POISONING and I began to throw up. This vomiting continued as we rolled into the hotel parking lot in Orlando and I puked in the hotel lobby. People were staring at me like I had plague. The next day, the vomiting quit, but the swelling blisters on my shoulders didn't. We ventured out to Disneyland, anyway, and everytime I posed for a picture with one of the costumed characters (which is normally a child's most wonderful dream), I would start to cry because the actors inside the suits inevitably put their paws on my shoulders. Lucky for me (note the sarcasm) I was wearing a red shirt, and when I FINALLY got Mickey Mouse to pose with me, he put his hand on my shoulder with enough heft to effectively pop the blister on my shoulder, allowing the fluid inside to leak all over my bright red shirt, giving the impression that my shoulder was bleeding profusely. Again, I was looked upon as if I had plague. Needless to say, this was one of, if not the worst, of my travel experiences, and it is also the source of my deeply-rooted fear of thunderstorms and tornados.

Posted by Jason @ 02/25/2003 09:55 PM PST

A late post to say I was here!

Posted by Tom from Oz @ 02/25/2003 11:26 PM PST

Well, as promised, here's my post-show post...

As for a worst trip scenario... I still can't think of anything in particular, however, when I did my one and only bus & truck tour, we did stay in some interesting places and hotels.

I still remember one hotel we pulled into... It was a Travelodge... NO - actually, it was just a "lodge" - the "Trave" was covered up on the sign. Apparently, they had just lost the franchise license, and we soon found out why. Unclean rooms, dirty linens, cars in the parking lot at 2:00am with their radio blasting, drug deals taking place in the back parking lot... AND we were there for three days!!! *Oh, and I had a particularly filthy hotel bathroom in New Orleans - I thought it was a pattern on the bathtub, until it started rinsing away.. YUCK!

-Oh, a few weeks later, we had a big Halloween party. One of the guys said he was going to come as something really scary. Well... he came as "*lodge" - complete with lightning bolts striking the sign. A truly scary costume!

Posted by Jose C. Simbulan @ 02/25/2003 11:33 PM PST

First a warning, the e-mail virus spammers are at it again, I just received an e-mail from William E. Lurie with an attachment containing a virus. Needless to say, I didn't open aforementioned e-mail, knowing that Dear Reader Lurie wouldn't send me an e-mail titled "A Good Tool" with an attachment. Spammers scour the internet and gather e-mail addresses to use for bulk (and virus) mail purposes (which is why many Dear Readers don't post their addresses). Use your virus protection programs to check your e-mail.

Second, I wasn't going to post about this because I couldn't remember any unpleasant trips I had taken but Jose, your e-mail made me remember a "trip".

It wasn't actually a vacation. It was my first professional theatre job out of college and I was so excited. I went to Phoenix, AZ in 1978 to be part of a traveling childrens theatre company. I should have realized as soon as I was picked up at the bus station that it was a disaster in the making. An old, old woman picked me up (she was nice, just as old as Methusala, or looked as old). We chatted for a few minutes and then she said, "Let me give you your meal money". She gave me $3.95. Little did I know that $3.95 was the meal allottment for the entire day! I learned that when I got to the motel (Sorry DRs Kerry and Laura, I can't remember where it was, just in downtown Phoenix) and met the other cast members. I was one of the last to arrive and they had already begun to bond based on the awful experiences about to happen.

I thought I would remember this stupid man's name forever because it was such a dreadful experience but I have blocked his name out of my mind. We were working for this traveling childrens theatre and there were 18 men, 6 companies of 3 men each. One simple reason that there were no women. The bastard didn't want to have to book two motel rooms for the cast members when we were on the road. This was in August (which was so hot in the summer that you couldn't stand on the sidewalk for extended periods because the heat would move up through your tennis shoes. It felt like you were standing on a radiator) and we rehearsed in a school auditorium in Phoenix and we were doing a new show, "Wild Bill Hickcock's Wild Wild West" a history of the early western expansion (hah!!!) Mr. No-Name wrote the dreck and directed us all at the same time. Six companies on on gym floor all doing the same script at the same time. We were put up at a cheap motel right next to our sumptuous place of dining, Chuck's 95er (Kerry or Laura, do you remember this place?) At Chuck's you could get an entire meal for $.95, including dessert! That's why we got a meal allottment of $3.95 per day because we were expected to eat there. If we wanted something else, we could either splurge or use our own money. Oh, yes, we didn't get paid for rehearsals. I should have left then but my professional pride kept me from backing out, and therer were some nice people involved.

We finished our two weeks of rehearsals and got our assignments. I got (with two others) the east coast! Hooray, I was planning on moving to NY at some point anyway and this was a great chance. Things would be different once we left Phoenix . We drove across the country in a van and a day and a half into the trip one of our cast mates quit (before the first show even). Well, Glenn and I decided to soldier on and actually did our first show after spending the night in a motel frantically re-writing a 3 person show into a two-person show (including the frigging stick pony I had to ride).

We did two shows and then hit Gary, Indiana. Mr. No-name would sell the show to anyone and he had found a "school" in Gary and promoted this as a fun romp through wild west history (the show would perhaps play to K-3 or 4, anything else caused boredom and laughter as we found out when we played our first high school and had walk-outs as the show progressed). Well, this Gary location was an alternative high school for unwed mothers and adult dropouts. They had armed guards patroling the campus! We spoke to the administrator who had booked the show, explaining the situation and he agreed with us that it would not be in our best interest to perform the show. As we left the campus, we heard gunshots ringing out.

So, we headed on to South Bend for our next show. We searched and searched and finally found our hotel - a rent by the hour place with the same kind of dirty rooms and soiled (blood) sheets, etc. with large, angry barking dogs, drug deals, etc. We parked our bags in the room and went looking for the school for the next day. We couldn't find it anwhere. No one in the area knew where it was and we were getting more frustrated by the minute. Glenn called Mr. No-Name and said we couldn't find the school. MNN said "look again tomorrow when you're fresh. Call me and I'll try to find directions" Well, in the morning, we called and he had no directions but he wouldn't cancel the show. They had already payed for it and we "MUST" do the performance. We looked some more but couldn't find the show and decided since we were being mistreated (and being paid $75 a week for that privilege) that it was finally time to revolt. We went back to the "motel", Glenn called Mr. No-Name and said "The van is in the parking lot. The keys are with the desk attendant. If you want the van back you better send somebody to come get it because we quit".

We took a cab to the bus station (what an extravagance) and I got on the bus back to Minnesota. I still had money from my first paycheck $39.00. My bus ticket from South Bend to Minneapolis was $38.95. I splurged on a jawbreaker with the nickle and didn't eat for the two days it took to get back to MN. I laugh and laugh at this now but then I thought (I was SO naive) how could anybody be so awful, especially someone in the theatre, and children's theatre to boot??? I learned my lesson! I never kept in touch with Glenn (he was from Texas) but I remember this as the worst trip of my life (sorry it's so long, hope I didn't bore you all)

Posted by Ben @ 02/26/2003 05:29 AM PST

No Ben - That was not from me. I hope you had a virus program so it didn't cause any trouble.

Posted by William E. Lurie @ 02/26/2003 06:12 AM PST

Yes, William. I use Norton Anti-Virus. It's on my new computer. Thank you Peter Norton for giving us this program (though MacAfee is a good program also).

Hooray for technology that works. As I've mentioned, I got a new computer and I spent all weekend setting it up. I have a new modem, warning technospeak will folow - and it's a V92 standard meaning which means I get faster log ons, blah de blah de blah, but it also means since my ISP supports the V92 standard and I have call waiting on my phone, I can use MODEM ON HOLD! Hooray. Idon't have a high speed connection so when I got calls previously, the phone just rang and rang and folks knew I was on-line. Now, when I get a call and I'm on-line, the internet connection goes on hold (the length of time depends on your ISP) and you can answer the phone without interruption. I know it works because I just called home and Anthony answered the phone and said he was on-line as I called. A small-time geek dream come true. I'm happy :-)

Posted by Ben @ 02/26/2003 07:56 AM PST