Posted by SWoodyWhite @ 03/04/2003 08:57 AM PST

Of course, before Martin Charnin we had only Margaret Mitchell and "Tomorrow IS another day!"

Not a huge leap from tomorrow being "another day" and being "a day away." But there it is. One wins a Pulitzer and a passle of Oscars and tons of money and the hearts of millions around the world, and the other wins Tonys, tons of money, the hearts of millions around the world AND has led tens of thousands of little girl "'Annie' wannabes" to massacre one of Broadways' great songs.

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 03/04/2003 08:58 AM PST

Oh, my, the possibilities.

One of the first ideas to leap to mind is:

Bess-Isabel Sanford
Porgy-Sherman Hemsley
Sportin' Life-Demond Wilson (from Sanford and Son)
Crown-Damon Wayans
Clara-Kim Coles
Jake-D.L. Hughley
Serena-Kim Fields
Mingo-Cedric the Entertainer

It's not the whole cast but it's a start.

Posted by Ben @ 03/04/2003 09:00 AM PST

Oh my well...I think our future Guys & Dolls stars need a warm-up so:

Porgy - Vin Diesel
Bess - Mariah Carey

Maria - Paula Abdul
Sportin' Life - Vanilla Ice

But as Lulu suggested the choreography would JUST HAVE to be by Miss Debbie Allen.

Vin: Bess you IS my WOMAN now!

Posted by Jrand52 @ 03/04/2003 09:03 AM PST

"Porgy and Bess"

Director: Pauly Shore
Music Director: Snoop Doggy Dog

All casting would be up to them!

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 03/04/2003 09:05 AM PST

How's this for a start?

Bess: Whoopi Goldberg
Porgy: Chris Rock
Serena: Eartha Kitt
Crown: Gary Coleman
Sportin' Life: James Earl Jones
Clara: Tina Turner

Posted by Jay @ 03/04/2003 09:07 AM PST

Ben! (why do I feel like Clint Howard?) I came ascloseasthis to casting Demond Wilson. In fact, I got as far as typing D-e-m-o when I hurriedly backspaced over it and went with Fred Berry instead.

Whoopi Goldberg as Bess. Oh. My. God.

You people are evil.

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 09:13 AM PST

Hey if any of you guys like Jane Krakowski (formerly of Ally McBeal, soon to be starring on Bway in NINE) she's been cohosting with Regis this week. And she'll be back on again tomorrow (with guest Renee Zellweger).

I have a question. What is a good thing to do when you're feeling sad or depressed? Do you go out? Is there a song or movie that cheers you up?

Btw, did anybody see that new Fox show Married By America last night? Since during the chat i was proclaimined Haineshisway's resident reality show expert I feel i must comment.

We were misled :)

America doesn't get to choose the couples. The family and friends choose 5 people (from among 25) and then narrow it down to 2. Only then does America get to vote.

BUT, not only that, the couples get to date for like 6-7 weeks. And then they can choose or NOT to get married. So they don't even have to get married.

But if they do, they get $100K and prizes. And if they stay married Fox gives them a house.

Jennifer

Posted by Jennifer @ 03/04/2003 09:14 AM PST

Jennifer, you're not sad and/or depressed, I hope?

Here are some things that snap me out of a funk:

* Hug my husband (I don't recommend that *you* hug my husband, though. Oh, no, indeed. But surely you have an equivalent balm of Gilead.)

* Immerse myself in water. Either a swim, a shower, or a long hot bath with all manner of girly perfumey accoutrements. For some reason, water has an amazingly restorative effect on me (negative ions?).

* Change into something comfortable and put on an old movie. Unplug the phone, or turn the answering machine way down so you'll be uninterrupted.

* Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate!

I hope these suggestions may be of some help.

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 09:20 AM PST

Oh, how right you are, Dear Reader Mom. We had another very productive Career Exploration session today. First, we talked about John Travolta and that guy who played Al Bundy whose name we couldn't remember. Then we moved on to a very lively conversation in which the word "crap" was said no less than 15 times. I'm still not sure what said conversation was about.

There is some guy outside mowing the lawn, so there is quite a bit of mowing going on here too.

Posted by Sandra @ 03/04/2003 09:20 AM PST

Porgy: Will Smith (but it has to be rewritten so that Porgy is not a cripple and gets a chance to do some fantastic stunts)

Bess: Queen Latifah, sort of rewriting the lyrics as she goes.

Sportin' Life: James Earl Jones

Crown: Ice Cube

Robbins: Snoop Dog (opening with "A Ho Is a Sometime Thing")

Serena Robbins: Whoopie Goldberg with Audra MacDonald hiding backstage to help her on the high notes (and the low notes, and everything in between)

Mr. Archdale: Harvey Fierstein (he gets into a lot of these castings, doesn't he?)

Crab Man: Jaleel White [Steve Urkel]

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 09:23 AM PST

Sandra, what about the hippie guy who longs to have a mistress of some sort? Surely he figured into today's session in some way. Perhaps he instigated the "crap" conversation?

Al Bundy: Ed O'Neill. Also played Popeye Doyle in a TV movie sequel to The French Connection, in addition to starring in the blockbuster smash hit (not really) "Dutch."

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 09:24 AM PST

Can't tell you annoyed I am by things like "Married by America" and the other crap that's on TV that culminates in the wedding of two publicity-hungry strangers when two people genuinely in love and committed to each other cannot get married because they are of the same sex, the reason being that to allow it would harm the "sanctity" of marriage. Gimme a break.

Posted by Jay @ 03/04/2003 09:25 AM PST

That should have been "how annoyed I am."

And I see that "crap" is our mot du jour!

Posted by Jay @ 03/04/2003 09:28 AM PST

Gone With the Crap

Hawaii Crap-Oh

Nobody Knows the Crap I See

Flower Drum Crap

and of course

Total Request Crap - daily on MTV

Posted by A crap maven @ 03/04/2003 09:37 AM PST

Actually, I think the "crap" thing came from the 350-pound psycho-therapist. The middle-aged hippie who's been out of work for twenty years didn't say much this time. Most of today's class time was devoted to the guy who wants to be an actor and the artist guy in the beret.

Posted by Sandra @ 03/04/2003 09:41 AM PST

This website just goes downhill as soon as I post. :P

Posted by Sandra @ 03/04/2003 09:42 AM PST

Untrue, Sandra! I think you raise the bar with each and every one of your posts. I, for one, enjoy your Career Exploration ruminations, and I strongly suspect I am not alone.

OK, so the word "crap" has been used a lot this morning. That's just the way the cookie crumbles. It might be a different word that we're all using tomorrow -- a classier one, like "induce" or "antidisestablishmentarianism."

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 09:58 AM PST

Lulu: I think you and my Joe have a mind link. Every one of your methods is one of his. Uh, replace your husband with me, and "girly purfumey accoutrements" with Herbal Bath Beads, and yes, triple the amount of chocolate.

Did you know that chocolate has been found to contain a chemical that links to the same site in the brain as cocaine?

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 10:01 AM PST

And as long as I am actually posting today, and being inerrant and untruant and also intruant and unerrant, let me add:

"Crap" today, "butt cheeks" tomorrow.

I didn't cast anyone in Porgy as Frazier, so I will give that part to Sandra's 500-pound Psycho The Rapist.

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 10:07 AM PST

In the interest of color-blind casting, I propose:

Porgy: Michael Crawford
Bess: Patti Lupone
Sportin' Life: Lee Wilkoff

Posted by bk @ 03/04/2003 10:16 AM PST

He would be thrilled, William F. Orr. He used to belong to an acting company. When he told us that, I pictured him wearing braids and a Viking hat singing opera.

(How's that for raising the bar, Lulu?)

Posted by Sandra @ 03/04/2003 10:18 AM PST

He would be thrilled, William F. Orr. He used to belong to an acting company. When he told us that, I pictured him wearing braids and a Viking hat singing opera.

(How's that for raising the bar, Lulu?)

Posted by Sandra @ 03/04/2003 10:18 AM PST

What opera was the viking hat singing?

Posted by Curious @ 03/04/2003 10:31 AM PST

Maybe I need to be more like my Literature and Film teacher and say my punctuation:

He used to belong to an acting company, period. When he told us that, comma, I pictured him wearing braids and a Viking hat, comma, singing opera, period.

Posted by Sandra @ 03/04/2003 10:36 AM PST

Oh ellipsis nevermind period

Posted by Curious @ 03/04/2003 10:40 AM PST

Oh my, all this casting has made me think that BK, our very own BK should really do an album called "Porgy and Bess Rap". I know that I, for one, wouldn't buy it.

At least nobody has tried a revisionist P & G with "Bess, you are my woman now, you are, you are..." (Anyone remember Stan Freberg's "Elderly Man River"?)

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 10:42 AM PST

I'm impressed. There are almost as many posts this early in the day as we get in a whole day at times.

I feel that the only true PORGY AND BESS sould be a color-blind production.

Porgy - Jesse Tyler Ferguson
Bess - Lea Salonga
Sportin' Life - Yakov Smirnoff
Crown - Ricky Martin
the one who sings "Summertime" and disappears - Leslie Kritzer

Posted by William E. Lurie @ 03/04/2003 11:01 AM PST

The bar continues to be raised! (arisen? arose? arised?) We're all learning so very much today, about hats that sing opera and chocolate as a yummy substitute for cocaine. This is why I love this website.

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 11:15 AM PST

And while I'm making up for the dearth of posts (so BK won't leap in and threaten to bitch-slap us all from here to heckydurnity),

My early morning TV watching has livened up since I hit the wrong button when trying to tune in the Weather Channel yesterday. At around 4 and 5 in the morning, The Game Show Channel is broadcasting old What's My Line and I've Got a Secret shows.

How wonederful to see how positively low-key TV used to be. No hype, no flashing lights, deafening music, attempts to humiliate guests in the name of entertainment. And America used to watch these shows faithfully. Shows where the panelists were educated and witty (if not beautiful). Shows where a Broadway star was a household name.

In just two days, I have managed to see Jayne Mansfield as a mystery guest (and doing a cockney accent), Vincent Price showing his Christmas cards from Rosemary Clooney and the like, Howard Duff putting an ice-cream cone in his jacket pocket (it's a long story) while Ida Lupino looked on...

Golly, now I remember when Betsy Palmer was known as someone other than Jason Voorhies' mother getting decapitated. When a book publisher (Benet Cerf) and a columnist (Dorothy Kilgallen) were considered celebrities. When Steve Allen was young. When the world was forever plaid.

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 11:21 AM PST

I can't believe there has been half a day of crap discussion here without someone invoking the name of the king of all crap (or at least, the kind of all crap jokes), David Shire. For shame.

Okay, everyone, post your favorite coprophiliac jokes!

Here are a couple to start you off:

Where's the coprophiliac's favorite place to sit at the bar?

The stool!

What does he order?

A Pu-Pu platter!

Posted by dlevy @ 03/04/2003 11:28 AM PST

Wm. F. Orr, stop, stop, I say! You're driving me MAD!! I miss the Game Show Network so much. Our cable company (Adelphia) yanked it and inexplicably replaced it with Oxygen! (and yes, the "!" is part of the name), a really really lame Oprah Winfrey-run "women's" channel that shows old Kate and Allie reruns with the picture smooshed up into a corner of the screen so that they can write "witty" comments and even ADVERTISEMENTS during the show. Ugh. Meanwhile, I'm doing without Charles Nelson Reilly and Brett Somers on Match Game, Bennet and Dorothy on What's My Line, etc. That and the fact that Adelphia doesn't even offer Turner Classic Movies on their vastly extended digital spectrum is why Adelphia is the crappiest crap-crap cable company out there (with apologies to Sandra).

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 11:29 AM PST

Sorry...I didn't mean to sound so bitter just then. I suppose if I can no longer partake of the myriad pleasures of the Game Show Network, I'm gratified that you and Your Joe can.

Hey, maybe if Your Joe and I get our mind link working, every once in awhile I could faintly sense one of Charles's devastating critiques of Brett's hairstyle du jour...or I could "see" Richard Dawson crossing his fingers, demonstrating his fervent hope that he and the contestant who chose him make a match... *sigh* A gal can dream, can't she?

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 11:45 AM PST

BK - Before you venture out in your automobile, check http://www.losangelesgasprices.com for the best price on gasoline-- otherwise you're liable to experience sticker shock!

Posted by Donna - Cabaret West @ 03/04/2003 11:50 AM PST

OMG they used to have Black and White on Sunday night. I didn't know the Game Show Channel was showing the old shows ANY TIME on the schedule. I must watch...I must watch...

I still like TO TELL THE TRUTH the best with Polly Bergen and Tom Poston and Kitty Carlisle (Hart). After questioning three men who claimed to be a famous hairstylist, Polly refused to vote for any of them declaring: "Not one of those men ever set a pin curl in his life."

Posted by Jrand52 @ 03/04/2003 11:55 AM PST

I certainly am jiggy with thirty-six posts by noon. I would be curmudgeonly not to be jiggy with thirty-six posts by noon. I would be unseemly.

What is a coprophiliac's favorite pair of pants?

Dungarees.

Posted by bk @ 03/04/2003 11:56 AM PST

What is a coprophiliac's favorite part of a game show?

The elimination round.

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 12:05 PM PST

With all this talk of coprophilia, it's like the old days (a mere year or so ago) when FreedUnit was posting.

Posted by Ben @ 03/04/2003 12:07 PM PST

What is a coprophiliac's favorite football play?

The end run.

Posted by Jrand52 @ 03/04/2003 12:08 PM PST

I just had to add my own.

Who is a coprophiliac's favorite bear?

Winnie-the-Pooh

Posted by Ben @ 03/04/2003 12:18 PM PST

What is a coprophiliacs' favorite casino game?

Craps.

Posted by William E. Lurie @ 03/04/2003 12:19 PM PST

Ah, but the real reason I had the television on at 5 a.m. was to continue watching my tape of Kiss Me, Kate!, and I'm right up to the final scene now.

The only part that was less thrilling than I expected was Brush Up Your Shakespeare. I don't think it was the performers. Something in the staging kept it from becoming as hillarious as it should.

But aside from Brent and Rachel, whom I adored, I was blown away by Micheal Barresse! His dancing for "Bianca" would be amazing if it were a one-time stunt for a movie--but eight shows a week? Wow! It helps that he is a trained gymnast, of course. Did you know his understudy was not allowed to try it, because it was too dangerous? The man certainly has cojones, as well as a pleasing persona.

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 12:20 PM PST

What is a coprophiliac's favorite kind of mushroom?

Shiitake

***

What is a coprophiciac's favorite breed of dog?

Shih-tzu

Posted by William E. Lurie @ 03/04/2003 12:27 PM PST

Well, it looks like casting for Porgy and Bess went down the crapper ;-)

Posted by Ben @ 03/04/2003 12:30 PM PST

For all the funnies posted before.. check out

http://www.haineshisway.com/archives/00000179.html

And I'll add: Who was the Coprophiliac's favorite Jean Valjean ever?

Why Du Du Fisher of course!

Posted by Coprophiliac Master @ 03/04/2003 12:34 PM PST

HELP ME - I CAN'T STOP!

What's a coprophiliac's favorite perfume?

Toilet water.

What's a coprophiliac's favorite Gershwin song?

Do Do Do.

Who is a coprophiliac's favorite children's television celebrity?

Howdy Doody.

Posted by Willaim E. Lurie @ 03/04/2003 12:35 PM PST

It seems only too appropriate to mention at this point that in the filmic gem "Hercules and the Captive Women," Herc is informed by the Queen of the island that "today is dedicated to Uranus."

And yes, she uses the old-fashioned pronunciation.

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 12:41 PM PST

What's a coprophiliac's favorite punctuation?

The colon.

What's a coprophiliac's favorite Shakespeare play?

Coriolanus.

Who's a coprophiliac's favorite Shakespearean character?

Bottom.

What's a coprophiliac's favorite Irving Berlin song?

"Cheek to Cheek"

What's a coprophiliac's favorite French pastry?

Pet-de-nonne oops, too esoteric? François, are you here?

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 12:42 PM PST

Who's a coprophiliac's favorite fifties TV actor?

Fess Parker.

Ooops, more French. Fesses = butt cheeks.

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 12:43 PM PST

Lulu:

I never understood why the news-casters had trouble with: You-Ranus--the R with the second syllable. And then they pronounced it Urine-Us.

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 12:46 PM PST

Frankly, WFO, I'm amazed that they haven't seen fit to eliminate (ouch! sorry) the problem altogether, by simply renaming the planet.

If the U.S. is put in charge of naming it, and if we stay true to current trends, it will surely wind up being called The RCA Sphere or The Power-Ade Planet or something similar.

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 12:53 PM PST

The death of Horst Buchholz at 69 is depressing. It seems like only a few years ago that he was the young stud in Billy Wilder's hilarious "One, Two, Three." I remember seeing that at the movies with my parents and laughing hysterically. But when I see that that was in 1961 and that 42 years have passed, I realize how quickly time has flown by as I have gone from 14 to 56 . The last movie I saw him in was "Life Is Beautiful" and the ravages of time were very evident in his face.

Posted by steveg @ 03/04/2003 12:56 PM PST

Back to Freberg's "Elderly Man River"! After years of searching for a copy I now have it on a comedy CD ("The Comedy Album") which has the joyous Anna Russell's "How To Write Your Own Gilbert And Sullivan Opera". I remember years ago hearing her Wagner's Ring Cycle which was wonderful. Anna R was Australia's Madame A in "Night Music" when Taina ("Nine") Elg was our Desiree.
This is of course a wasted post if no-one out there has heard of Anna Russell!
"Games Shows" over reality TV any day.
I shall now have breakfast or possible rinse the blood off my toga. (Must play these Cds again soon).

Posted by Tom Guest @ 03/04/2003 12:59 PM PST

Sad new indeed. "Tiger Bay" was a fasvourite movie of my mine. (Horst was Wow!)

Posted by Tom from Oz @ 03/04/2003 01:01 PM PST

Never heard of Anna Russell? I can practically recite her take on Wagner's Ring by heart! My favorite line from it (which I often quote): "I'm not making this up, you know!"

Posted by Jay @ 03/04/2003 01:03 PM PST

I can't believe no one has mentioned the Saturday Night Live parody from years ago, PORKY AND BESS, with Garrett Morris crooning, "B-b-b-b-b-b-Bess, you is my woman n-n-n-n-now..."

And any musical that features Whoopi Goldberg in a lead role definitely could be described as 'crap'. Come to think of it, just about anything with Whoopi Goldberg would deserve that title.

Posted by Dave @ 03/04/2003 01:04 PM PST

Wow, Lulu! What a great idea for supporting the sciences! Sell planet names:

The solar system has nine planets:

Lincoln-Mercury
FDS Hypoallergenic
Microsoft (formerly known as Earth)
Miller Lite
AOL-Time-Warner
Saturn, rumored to be in negotiations for reassignment to Toyota
Preparation H
Carnival Cruises
and
Walt Disney's New Adventures of Pluto Soon at Theatres Everywhere

Microsoft (formerly known as Earth) has one satellite, Mobile-Exxon.

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 01:05 PM PST

LOL! Take that ball and run with it!

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 01:10 PM PST

Leave it to coprophilia to get us in a posting frenzy!

What's a coprophiliac's favorite place on a ship?

The poop deck.

Posted by bk @ 03/04/2003 01:15 PM PST

WEL: All of your coprophiliac humor is simply doo, doo much! ;)

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 01:16 PM PST

Regarding Stan Freeberg, the "Elderly Man River" was from his radio show. All 13 Episodes have been released on CD and cassette in two volumes - Shows 1 to 7 (with a current interview) and Shows 8 to 13. Every one is a classic.

And there is a Rhino boxed set of Freeberg with 4 CDs and a VHS tape featuring all his classic recordings (does anyone else remember his parody of original cast albums called "Omaha" or his Christmas Classic "Green Chri$tma$"?), a few selections from the radio show and lots more including his many commercials. It's worth it just for a copy of the Ann Miller/Great American Soup commercial which he wrote and directed.

Posted by William E. Lurie @ 03/04/2003 01:17 PM PST

What's a coprophiliac's favorite lake?

Titicaca

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 01:19 PM PST

What's a coprophiliac's favorite sitcom?

WKRP Cincinati

Posted by William F. Orr @ 03/04/2003 01:20 PM PST

Shame on you, WFO! You know darned good and well that KRP stands for "carp." Or have you forgotten Les Nessman in the big carp costume?

Posted by Lulu @ 03/04/2003 01:22 PM PST

Does anyone else - apropos of nothing - know the lovely Gracie Fields song 'I Took My Harp to a Party and Nobody Asked Me to Play'....sometimes things just come into your head.

Posted by Jrand52 @ 03/04/2003 01:30 PM PST

Oh my gosh those posts made me smile. You guys are too funny!
Keep up the good work.

jennifer

Posted by Jennifer @ 03/04/2003 01:54 PM PST

John.

Posted by Marsha @ 03/04/2003 01:54 PM PST

Marsha

Posted by John @ 03/04/2003 01:55 PM PST

Emily, why do you have to make such a big production out of everything?

Posted by A fan of the Great American Soups extravaganza with Ann Miller @ 03/04/2003 01:56 PM PST

My very first coprophilia joke:

What is a coprophiliac's favorite religion?

Shiite Islam, of course!

Posted by Jay @ 03/04/2003 02:10 PM PST

Charnin's throughout today's musing, as he wrote the song "There Are Days and Days" as well as "Tomorrow."

Don't forget "Sometimes he's Gabby Hayes"

Posted by Noel @ 03/04/2003 02:17 PM PST

Billy Cotton also sang "I Took My Harp To A Party". I have it on a Cd with Gracie's version of "Walter Walter Lead Me To the Alter", Frank Crumit's "The Song Of The Prune" (more in keeping with today's subtopic!), and of course the wonderful "My Canary Has Circles Under His Eyes".
"I'm not Making This Up".There are some wonderful songs out there.Nice to know I am not alone Jay. (no-one is alone).

Posted by Tom from Oz @ 03/04/2003 02:18 PM PST

What's a coprophiliac's favorite car parts store (at least in Olympia and vicinity)?

Cut Rate Auto Parts (and yes, the signs out in front of the stores do say "C.R.A.P.")

Posted by George @ 03/04/2003 03:03 PM PST

I've been working on the cast for the all-new, updated, completely inoffensive (bland) ABC's Wonderful World of Disney broadcast of "Porgy and Bess." All I've got so far is . . .

Porgy: Victor Garber

Can anybody help me out with the rest?

Posted by Sigerson Holmes @ 03/04/2003 03:09 PM PST

What is a coprophiliac's favorite "emergency services" sign?

Evacuation Route

What is a coprophiliac's favorite member of the Armed Forces?

The basic "grunt"

Why did the coprophiliac hurry down to his local Ikea?

He heard stool samples were on sale.

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 03/04/2003 03:13 PM PST

What have I started?

Posted by Sandra @ 03/04/2003 03:15 PM PST

Looks like you put an end to it, too, Dear Reader Sandra.

Posted by Jay @ 03/04/2003 03:57 PM PST

That's because I've raised the bar so high.

Posted by Sandra @ 03/04/2003 04:36 PM PST

One Two Three.... made me laugh so hard when I saw it at the drive in and the Russian soldiers saw the dress in the wardrobe and one of them said..."My god, she's got three...and one of them is green!" Horst had used balloons as breasts...LOL.

I just bid on an Anna Russell Cd..I think a whole new world is going to open up.

Of course - she will have to go some to match Jonathan and Darlene Edwards in my book.

Posted by Jrand52 @ 03/04/2003 05:34 PM PST

Maybe ABC/Disney can cast Matthew Broderick & Kristin Chenowith in black-face, then air it to coincide with a DVD release of Song of The South?

Posted by Ray @ 03/04/2003 05:56 PM PST

I adored Horst Buchholz, a terrific actor. I, too, saw One, Two, Three when it was originally released and it was a howler, one huge laugh after another, with Cagney doing an amazing job with his rapid-fire one-liners. Our beloved Pamela Tiffin was beautiful, Horst was very funny, and Arlene Francis charming. Every gag built to the next one and everything paid off straight down the line (as Mr. Wilder said in Double Indemnity), right down to the final and hilarious last shot of the film. We are patiently awaiting its DVD release, but now I might even have to watch the laserdisc just to get my fix.

I have this thought in the back of my head that maybe just maybe we might reach a number we haven't reached in ages.

What is a coprophiliac's favorite Chinese dish?

The Poo Poo Platter.

Posted by bk @ 03/04/2003 06:04 PM PST

Ewww-Ewww -- the squeamish should read no further:

What is a coprophiliac's favorite cocktail snack?

A bar stool!

What's a coprophiliac's favorite movie quote?

"What a dump!"

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 03/04/2003 06:35 PM PST

Then there was the corprophiliac who joined the army and couldn't wait for his first meal in the mess tent. He heard they were serving shit-on-a-shingle. But then he was soon "discharged".

Posted by Ray @ 03/04/2003 06:36 PM PST

Where did the coprophiliacs go when they wanted to shake their booties?

The CopraCabana!

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 03/04/2003 06:56 PM PST

I'm sorry...excuse me?

Did I just hear a collective groan?

Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 03/04/2003 06:57 PM PST

Ye are all daft.

Can you tell I've been listening to Brigadoon today?

Posted by Laura @ 03/04/2003 07:22 PM PST

Who is the coprophiliacs' favorite rapper?

Eminem.

>>g-r-o-a-n<<

But of course, Mr. E would headline MY production of PORGY AND BESS. Yes, Eminem IS PORGY, you read it here first. And since Mr. E is an Oscar nominee, my casting brainstorming session has led to the following taking part in my production:
(and it may or may not be BAD casting)
Vanessa Williams IS BESS
Queen Latifah IS CLARA
Nicole Kidman IS SERENA
Vin Diesel IS SPORTIN' LIFE

And, beleive it or not, my Pittsburgh Civic Light Opera debut was in PORGY AND BESS! A brilliant, complete production which starred the former Fifth Dimension singer, Michel Bell! I got to fight with Bess every night while trying to make an arrest!

Posted by td @ 03/04/2003 07:23 PM PST

My oh my... I come here in
eager anticipation of today's
installment of Tales of Career
Exploration, and I find this...
this... crap! How utterly
delightful!!! Thank you,
Sandra, for raising the bar. If
only Plants in Society could
spawn such lively
conversation around these
parts!

Posted by Jed @ 03/04/2003 07:30 PM PST

Oh, and as for Porgy and
Bess, the first names that
come to my mind for any of our
nightmare castings are Rosie
O'Donnell and Carol
Channing, so just stick them
anywhere in this cast and I'll
be properly horrified.

Posted by Jed @ 03/04/2003 07:35 PM PST

Has no-one thought to mention that wonderful experienced trio Kiri, Jose and Mandy?

Posted by Tom Guest @ 03/04/2003 08:11 PM PST

Porgy: Whoopi Goldberg
Bess: Nathan Lane
Sportin Life: Matthew Broderick

Posted by Dennis Clancy @ 03/04/2003 08:20 PM PST

ah, Jay! My all-time favorite Anna Russell line--"I'm not making this up, you know." I also quote it frequently, usually to blank stares. I got to know the marvelous Miss R when driving late at night from Indiana to Chicago after rehearsals. To keep ourselves awake on the hour-long ride, we'd blare Anna Russell (or Big Bad Voodoo Daddy).

I also loved One, Two, Three. But why has no one mentioned Horst Buchholz's (non-) musical connection? He was Marius in the film of Fanny--which cut all the lyrics and used the music as underscoring, and is one of my sentimental favorites. Chevalier and Boyer are unending delight.

Posted by Pam @ 03/04/2003 09:01 PM PST

I LOVE Anna Russell. I ought to check out a CD of her stuff< I have most (if not all ofer albums). I was lucky enough to see her a couple of times in concert and met her after one of the performances. She is one of those naturally funny people-- made more so by the fact that she is so smart. For those of you unfamiliar with her work, you're in for a treat.

Posted by Kerry @ 03/04/2003 09:57 PM PST

Be careful, Wotan, be careful.

Posted by A green faced torso @ 03/04/2003 10:02 PM PST

Wow - Some great posts today. -Thank you, Sandra. Thank you, BK.

Well, that's about it for me. I'm wiped out - long rehearsal tonight. Good, but long - lots of details work tonight.

-But thanks again for the good late-night laughs and smile.

Posted by Jose C. Simbulan @ 03/04/2003 10:46 PM PST

We have almost reached 100
posts! How wonderfully jiggy
we are! I am tempted to post
more than once so we might
perhaps reach our goal before
Midnight...so here goes...

Posted by Ann @ 03/04/2003 11:06 PM PST

99 Posts! Faboo! We should
break out the pointy hats and
pantaloons galore...only I don't
believe such things would be
comfortable to sleep in, and it
is indeed time to sleep *yawn*
goodnight

Posted by Ann @ 03/04/2003 11:08 PM PST

Well, I feel I should do the honors. Where does a coprophiliac like to deposit trash?

A dumpster.

Posted by bk @ 03/04/2003 11:14 PM PST

What is this, fish?

Posted by Jrand52 @ 03/05/2003 02:20 AM PST

Well, 101 posts and it took poop to get us there.

On another note, Jason, where are you, lad? Nothings gonna harm you, not while talk crap (a partial Sondheim reference).

Posted by Ben @ 03/05/2003 05:03 AM PST

Post #103, and I think that judging from the huge response, we must all be a buncha copraphiliacs.

Posted by Lulu @ 03/05/2003 05:14 AM PST

No we just have a lot of interests behind us.

Posted by Jrand52 @ 03/05/2003 05:16 AM PST

Can I just take a moment here to wonder aloud why so many spammers go to great trouble to make it look like their junk mail is from yourself? You know what I'm talking about, don't you? They utilize the username in your e-mail address, so that if your address is PraiseBob@hotmail.com, the "from" field of the junk mail claims to be from PraiseBob.

What is the concept behind this? That people will actually think they've sent themselves junk mail?

"Gee, I don't remember sending myself an e-mail with the subject heading 'Make it Bigger NOW!!!!!!', but goshers, there it is in my inbox, so I must have. I'd better open and read it right now!"

Does this work on ANYONE with enough brain power for basic motor skills?

Posted by Lulu @ 03/05/2003 05:41 AM PST

Lulu - I think even the beginners on the web have learned NOT to open mail from someone they don't recognize - so the spammers are trying something else...and you know, someone will read their stuff..and that is their goal.

Posted by Jrand52 @ 03/05/2003 05:56 AM PST

Uh..Lulu would you forward that Make It Bigger Now! email to me. Thanks.

Posted by Curious @ 03/05/2003 07:42 AM PST

Jeux sans frontieres

Posted by . @ 04/05/2003 04:41 AM PST