haines his way

04/08/2003:
"THE IDLES OF APRIL"

Well, dear readers, we had a most lively and sparkling chat last night, despite a number of errant and truant Hainsies/Kimlets. April must be one of those months when folks are off doing other things and being idle, haineshisway.com-wise, because I noticed the same thing happened last year in April. Perhaps next year we shall simply skip April and go directly to May. Yes, people are being idle - beware the Ides of March, and beware the Idles of April. Maybe we could do a new television show called American Idle. In any case, it is a beautiful April day, the singing bird is warbling Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man of Mine, and the gardeners are mowing and pruning, not necessarily in that order.
I don’t really have any stories for today, although I suppose I could relate the tale of The Randy Vicar and the Bowling Ball. It’s quite a randy tale but perhaps I’ll save it for a rainy day. I will tell you that I went to ship something at the post office yesterday, and the line was almost a block long. The Studio City post office is notorious for this, but it is worse than ever and I believe that fifty percent of the long lines there can be directly attributed to eBay and amateur sellers. And do you know what I say, dear readers? I say, damn them, damn them all to hell.
Urban Cowboy continues to limp along with papered houses and many posts on other boards, either from shills or people who say things like, “I know it’s not very good, but the cast is up there giving it’s all and I love it” as if that reason alone was cause for a Broadway show to run. If that were a cause for a Broadway show to run very few shows would ever close because most casts give it their all. Again, I don’t think they were ever going to close after the first week – I believe the high drama of the last minute reprieve was a carefully orchestrated bit of hucksterism and ballyhoo to get a ton of press. When David Merrick did this sort of thing it seemed like fun and it was done with some chutzpah, but then again David Merrick knew when to close a show or keep it open. David Merrick was a responsible producer who did not want to incur further losses for his investors or himself on the off-chance a show might run for a few months to save his ego. Not all shows deserve to run, not all shows are hits. But it’s a different world today, isn’t it, producer-wise. It’s all about “saving face” and ego, no matter what the losses are.
My goodness, I went off on a tear there, didn’t I? Oh, well, thank heaven we don’t have those sorts of posts here at haineshisway.com. We have posts about excellent things like food, and theater, and merriment and mirth and laughter and legs. We’re the most civilized place and soon we will be the most popular site on all the Internet, although apparently not in April.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below before I go on another tear.

Yesterday, I lunched at one of those trendy Eyetalian restaurants (I posted about this yesterday, but am writing about it here, too) in Westwood. I had a salad with chicken and when it arrived it was a bunch of shrubs that looked like they came from my yard, with three lonely strips of chicken, and the whole concoction swimming in balsamic vinaigrette. It was gross but I ate it. I hate that kind of food – so dainty and not very good tasting. The person with whom I was lunching had a pasta dish which looked specious to me, but he ate it all up and so I assume it was at least decent. I was so hungry after the chat that I went to Gelson’s and got some baby back ribs, which were yummy.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must travel both near and far, I must do both mundane and important tasks, and I must do everything merrily while I roll along. Today’s topic of discussion: Who are your favorite comedians, both old and new? I’ll start – Jack Benny, first always. George and Gracie, Shelley Berman in his prime, Louis Nye, Mal Z. Lawrence (so funny in Catskills on Broadway that I thought I would literally die from laughing so hard), Moms Mabley, and yes, Virginia, The Three Stooges. Your turn.

Replies: 102 Unseemly Comments

Carol Burnett.
Posted by Laura @ 04/08/2003 08:58 AM PST

Awhile ago I was at a restaurant and ordered a salad with what I thought was a vinaigrette dressing. It turned out to be just VINEGAR. Full stop. Nothing else, no oil, nothing.
When I complained to the waitress, she looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears (oh, a Jean Shepherd reference) and said that vinegar (full stop) "dressing" is all the rage now. Apparently, people are running about helter-skelter, hither, thither and yon, eating salad with some sour old vinegar splashed upon it.
This is taking the Fat-free thing too far. Oh, yes, it is.
Now, as far as favorite comedians: I am very much in agreement about
Jack Benny
Burns and Allen
also:
Fred Allen
The Brothers Marx
The entire cast of SCTV
and many others I can't think of right now, but once someone else posts their names I will be quick to chime in with a "me, too!"
I used to like the "cooler than you" irony-drenched approaches of Bill Murray and David Letterman, but I find that it sort of grates on me now. Whether that's because I'm older or because that style (once relatively new and refreshing back in the '70s) is now Old School, with everyone from Craig Kilborn to David Spade usurping it (badly), I know not.
Oh, and I don't know if these count as favorite "comedians," but I've always LOVED the Our Gang/Little Rascals comedies.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/08/2003 09:02 AM PST

Well - Lucille Ball of course, but I suppose she is a comic actress rather than a comedian...so:
Red Skelton: He was in his home town of Vincennes, Indiana, where they were naming a bridge after him. The town officials with much pomp and circumstance had a ribbon and a band. They cut the ribbon and turned the microphone over to Red who then told the assembled crowd: "Get off my bridge." I think I told this is chat last night...still makes me laugh!
Jack Benny of course and Burns and Allen. Steve Allen and Bob Newhart.
Totie Fields, Bob & Ray, Nichols & May.
Today there are some funny ones, David Chapelle and the Mighty Kobe who does comedy and magic.
The Nichols & May bargain funeral makes me roll on the floor. Gracie Allen telling how her father went out one day with her brother in a carriage and came back with a different baby and different carriage...Gracie said her mother didn't complain because it was a nicer carriage.
I will let others share....I look forward to lots of laughs today...and we need them!
Posted by Jand52 @ 04/08/2003 09:07 AM PST

Favorite comedians (as opposed to comic acts, like The Marx Bros., who are in a class by themselves):
Richard Pryor
Mel Brooks
Eddie Izzard
George Carlin
The Great Metrano (Art Metrano's divinely silly magic act)
and
Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, and Whoopi Goldberg--separately or, even better, together.
Posted by Pam @ 04/08/2003 09:10 AM PST

Bob and Ray, OMG, how could I have forgotten them? Likewise their forebearers, Colonel Stoopnagle and Budd. Strange, funny guys.
Love Bob Newhart, as well. Like Jack Benny, his brilliance lay in his reactions to the insanity around him.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/08/2003 09:11 AM PST

Also, hard as it may be for us to recall now, there was indeed a time (early-to-mid-sixties) when Bill Cosby was funny.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/08/2003 09:14 AM PST

I agree with Jack Benny and Shelley Berman and of course Lucy (except in MAME). There are very few funny comics today. In the past there was also Fred Allen, Steve Allen (no relation to Fred) and Bob Hope (who turns 100 next month). I think two of the funniest tv specials I saw were from people you here very little about: John Paragon and a woman whose name was something like Bret Butler and who followed a wondferful standup special with a terible white-trash sitcom and was not heard from again. I liked Dean and Jerry together but not apart. And Nichols and May will never be topped.
And let's not forget Eve Arden, Joan Davis and Gale Storm back from the days sitcoms were actually funny.
If I think of anyone else I'll post more later.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 04/08/2003 09:24 AM PST

To learn how to really bum it with a trumbet click on my name.
Posted by Miss Mazeppa @ 04/08/2003 09:26 AM PST

you know, Bill, Joan Davis did a routine where she got her arm caught in a mannequin leg and it was so visually funny - even though I have only seen it once in my life - the memory still makes me laugh.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/08/2003 09:28 AM PST

Adding to the list of those already mentioned:
Sid Caesar
Milton Berle
George Carlin (when he first started in the business)
Buddy Hackett
Joan Rivers
Steve Martin
Jackie Mason (before he become so impressed with himself)
Posted by steveg @ 04/08/2003 09:33 AM PST

Oh no, did you say the three stooges? OY!!! For some odd reason, I recall peeling potatoes with a razor....
Posted by Angela @ 04/08/2003 09:42 AM PST

I have great memories of some of the female comedians who would show up on the Mike Douglas show. Their humor was of a particular era, I suppose, but they all were pioneers and they all were very, very funny. At the top of the list, Miss Totie Fields. Others I remember include Phyllis Diller, Joan Rivers, and the lady with phone ("Hello, Ciel....") (Obviously, I remember her schtick better than I remember her name. My bad.) I am sure that other Hainsies and Kimlets will remind me of some of the other great comediennes who appeared on Mr. Douglas' show.
Posted by Jay @ 04/08/2003 09:54 AM PST

I wanted to join the chat last night, but Web (MSN) TV wouldn't let me.
And Mr. Kimmel, before you damn me and other eBay sellers to hell, please observe that we may be legion, but we are also the ones at the post office who are prepared: our packages are properly packed, our forms are filled out before we even enter the p.o., and we generally know what we're doing. As opposed to the common rabble who become numbed with idiocy when asked a simple question like, "Do you want to send that First Class or Priority."
Most of who makes me laugh has been mentioned, but in addition to Bob & Ray, the Marx Bros., George Carlin, Jack Benny, Sid Caesar & Co., the SCTV cast, and Nichols & May, I'll add Monty Python (singularly and in unison), the Smothers Brothers, Buster Keaton, the Ritz Brothers, Lily Tomlin, Sam Kinison and Bill Hicks.
Posted by Drumm @ 04/08/2003 10:06 AM PST

Oh, Miss Mazzeppa, what a character you are.
For more on the life and times of Miss Faith Dane, click on my name.
Six times Washington D.C. mayoral candidate? There is definitely the makings of a musical in this woman's life. And I'd sacrifice my sacro to see it.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 04/08/2003 10:07 AM PST

Oh, and David Sedaris and Amy Sedaris.
Posted by Drumm @ 04/08/2003 10:07 AM PST

Recent item in the Post:
SYLVESTER Stallone is closer to his dream of bringing "Rocky" to Broadway. The
action star has hired Thomas Meehan, who penned the books for "The Producers"
and "Hairspray," to write "Rocky" as well, which Sly is producing as a musical.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/08/2003 10:29 AM PST

What ever happened to Baby Dane?
For a six-minute video of the real star of Gypsy, click on my name.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 04/08/2003 10:31 AM PST

We had another very productive Career Exploration session. To start off, the 350-pound psycho-therapist told us a little about the history of the Romulans and the Vulcans. That was very fascinating. Then the middle-aged hippie who's been out of work for twenty years told us that he has a "life project" that he needs to accomplish before he dies. We asked him about it, and he finally said that he has located the Fountain of Youth in the Garden of Hesperus and he knows why it's not working and that he knows how to fix it. So when it's on the news that someone has jump-started the Fountain of Youth back into working, you will all know that it was our very own middle-aged hippie who's been out of work for twenty years.
He also said that if that doesn't work out (although I have no idea why it wouldn't) he would like to open up an interactive mall that is "a life experience, not just a shopping experience." He didn't go into much detail, but he said that it would involve people in costumes.
My favorite comedian would have to be the middle-aged hippie who's been out of work for twenty years, followed closely by the 350-pound psycho-therapist.
Posted by Sandra @ 04/08/2003 10:32 AM PST

Man, I loves me some Sandra!
I look forward to the Career Exploration reports with the anticipation of a kid on Christmas Eve.
Keep 'em coming!
Posted by Dave @ 04/08/2003 10:35 AM PST

Well, back in my day, comedians were FUNNY!
And we didn't have none o' that new-fangled MTV, or the widescreen television sets, or the rock 'n roll, neither.
Comedy was on the radio, or the vaudeville stage, and we liked it!
Men wore dresses, and squirted each other in the face with seltzer bottles, and we laughed 'til our sides ached.
Kids today don't know from funny...
And who the hell is Jennifer Garner?
Yeesh...
On the plus side, reading some of these posts makes me feel young.
Posted by Dave @ 04/08/2003 10:39 AM PST

Bill Orr: I got no audio with the video of Faith Dane. Drat it all.
Lulu: I trust the waitress "corrected" the dressing problem? I'd have insisted. If she refused, she'd have learned what a "true rage" was.
Comedians:
Bill Cosby
Zasu Pitts (a mere look would have me rolling)
Ellen DeGeneres
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/08/2003 10:45 AM PST

By the way, regarding URBAN COWBOY, the biggest mistake the producers made was not touring it for a year (especially in areas where C&W is the music of choice) and then bringing it in. At least they would have made enough money on the tour to support the Broadway run. I have not seen it (nor have I any desire to despite Sally Mayes) but it is clearly made for the road and now in order to tour they will have to raise additional money whereas the tour could have supported a try at Broadway.
Also, I have new respect for Barry & Fran. One reason they closed MIRACLE WORKER out of town was to be able to return the balance of the investment to the backers... and I read that Barry planned to return additional money to investors out of his own pocket. Once they saw that a novice director and a movie actress who couldn't learn her lines were not going to create a hit they did the responsible thing. Maybe if all producers treated their investors with this kind of respect there would be more people willing to invest.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 04/08/2003 10:47 AM PST

Wow. I just checked the definition of "colorful" in my dictionary and, sure enough, there was a picture of Faith Dane.
Posted by Jay @ 04/08/2003 10:52 AM PST

RP: Oh, yes, she took it back to the kitchen...while shaking her head over the idea of someone not enjoying plain vinegar splashed onto their salad. Yeesh. SOME people.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/08/2003 10:53 AM PST

WEL may have a point, but on the other hand, it's sort of a double-edged sword, isn't it? To play on the road, it helps to have a pedigree. Having the words "Broadway Musical" on the poster and marquee usually helps attract a certain kind of audience. And opening in a particularly weak year for musicals may even provide some Tony nominations (if not wins), which also help the marketing of the tour.
And BTW, didn't David Merrick also produce OH, KAY and STATE FAIR?
Posted by Dave @ 04/08/2003 10:56 AM PST

Yum, BK mentioned babyback ribs. My absolute favorite! There is a restaurant here called Baton Rouge, which is my absolute favorite restaurant. They have Louisiana cuisine, and make the best ribs. They are quite expensive, but I go there every single year for my birthday (which is coming up soon, let's see if BK remembers when :)
Posted by Jennifer @ 04/08/2003 10:56 AM PST

And from a Dutch website:
FAITH DANE ROCKS!
Haha. Faith Dane is een crackhead, loopt altijd rond met een bugle, is constant stoned en heeft zich derhalve kandidaat gesteld voor de burgermeesterspost in Washington. Moet lukken. (Een eerdere burgemeester van Washington werd gesnapt op een hotelkamer toen ie samen met een hoer zat te basen, het jaar daarop werd hij herkozen, derhalve - historische redactie kutjebef)
Posted by William F. Orr @ 04/08/2003 10:57 AM PST

URBAN COWBOY doesn't need a Broadway pedigree to sell on the road. In fact the very thing that New Yorkers seem to dislike (a C&W musical based on a film that critics dismissed but audiences loved) is the same thing that would sell it on the road. If they played Dallas, Houston, Austin, Nashville, Tulsa, etc. the "Direct From Broadway" would not mean a thing... the movie and the C&W score would sell it out. Of course it probably would not do as well in more sophistocated cities like L.A., Chicago, Washington, but show that do well in those cities and New York often go over the heads of people in smaller, more rural towns.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 04/08/2003 11:26 AM PST

OMG, Ron. On one episode of THE GALE STORM SHOW, Zasu Pitts was playing solataire on a glass top table so she could see the cards underneath!
Her expressions (face AND hands) when caught were once again for me - even after all these years - unforgettable. 8-D
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/08/2003 11:27 AM PST

I don't know, Bill. When it comes to sophistication, we people here in Indiana are the first hogs to the trough.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/08/2003 11:28 AM PST

Red Skelton -- no one funnier
then or now and a friend of my
family in Vincennes.
Posted by Kurt @ 04/08/2003 11:37 AM PST

Where's that girl with the bugle?
Posted by Mame Dennis @ 04/08/2003 11:50 AM PST

That girl with the bugle is my wife!
Posted by Jude Crannitch @ 04/08/2003 12:07 PM PST

And why did I ever buy her those damn G-Strings?
Posted by Raoul Pene du Bois @ 04/08/2003 12:07 PM PST

Jrand: You tell 'im! LOL. :)
Posted by Lulu @ 04/08/2003 12:14 PM PST

What did the vicar do with the bowling ball?
Posted by Randy Davenport @ 04/08/2003 12:18 PM PST

Some of my favorite comedians and comediennes (in alphabetical order):
Victor Borge
Ellen DeGeneres
Totie Fields
Buddy Hackett
Eddie Izzard
Rosie O'Donnell
Don Rickles
Joan Rivers
Red Skelton
Suzanne Westenhoefer
Posted by George @ 04/08/2003 12:31 PM PST

George, I am surprised that you include Rosie O'Donnell on your list, but not Jerry Seinfeld. Rosie has been quite candid in saying that her stand-up routines were stolen from Seinfeld.
Posted by Dave @ 04/08/2003 12:35 PM PST

Two people who are always
guaranteed to make me
laugh...
Eddie Izzard
Dear Reader Sandra
Posted by Jed @ 04/08/2003 12:36 PM PST

Well, folks. I did something today that I have not done in many many years. I went to the zoo. And such a sparkling time I had, too.
Posted by Laura @ 04/08/2003 12:39 PM PST

Had to add another vote for a
few of my favorites
Eddie Izzard
BIll Cosby (it's classic stuff...)
George Carlin
Dave Barry (okay, it's written
comedy, but oh well)
Robin Williams
Back to writing my paper...
Posted by Ann @ 04/08/2003 12:41 PM PST

Eddie Izzard
Graham Norton
Rip Taylor
and Bill Cosby, especially the story about Sheldon Leonard and his wife on their honeymoon in the mountains.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/08/2003 12:43 PM PST

Come on in, dear, the water's fine.
Posted by Sheldon Leonard @ 04/08/2003 12:43 PM PST

Dear Reader Laura - and tomorrow are you going to Japan? A Bill Cosby reference.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/08/2003 01:01 PM PST

Dear Reader Laura,
What's new at the zoo?
Posted by Jule Styne, Bett Comden & Adolph Green @ 04/08/2003 01:14 PM PST

Ouch, you're steppin' on my pouch!
Posted by Kangaroo @ 04/08/2003 01:16 PM PST

Oops! I forgot the "y" in the above post. Of course my sight is going fast. I still remember the night at Lincoln Center where it was raining and I walked right through the pool on the Amsterdam side. Read about it in my book.
Posted by Betty Comden @ 04/08/2003 01:17 PM PST

A shameless plug.
Posted by Jay @ 04/08/2003 01:25 PM PST

Dave, I have to admit that I have never seen Jerry Seinfeld's comedy act, nor his HBO special that's now available on home VHS or DVD. I also hardly ever watched his sitcom. I have also seen probably a total of 15 minutes of "Everybody Loves Raymond" over the however many years it's been on. For some reason, those just never caught my attention.
Another comedian to add, however (Jrand52 mentioned him), is Graham Norton. I have never seen his stand up act and have been watching his show on BBC American for only the last three months, but I love it and the kind of humor that he does.
Posted by George @ 04/08/2003 01:43 PM PST

And French and Saunders. . .
fuuuh uuuh neeeee!
Posted by Kurt @ 04/08/2003 01:52 PM PST

Some people are turned on by the fact that they're getting to see something BEFORE it gets to Broadway. The stage musical version of STATE FAIR debuted in NC, and it did sellout business here not only because of the R&H pedigree (those names DO sell shows) but because it was heavily advertised as being Broadway bound. People here thought they were getting to see a smash before the sophisticates in NYC saw it. I agree that URBAN COWBOY should have toured before going to NYC (if it went to NYC at all).
As for comedians, I did love Jack Benny. Also loved Red Skelton and, most of all, the Smothers Brothers. Before they got so political, they were screamingly funny. All their comedy albums in the mid to late 1960s were wonderful mixes of comedy and folk music that play as well today as they did then.
I have a comedy album that features Fred Allen and Tallulah Bankhead in a radio skit based on those morning radio talk shows that featured a husband and wife gleefully greeting each other in the morning. That skit always puts me on the floor, and I know every joke, but their deliveries are priceless.
Posted by Matt H. @ 04/08/2003 01:52 PM PST

FRENCH AND SAUNDERS!!!!!!!!!
Posted by George @ 04/08/2003 01:53 PM PST

Jonathan Winters
Posted by Maudie Frickert @ 04/08/2003 01:55 PM PST

Really, Jed? OK, how about this...
If you put ice in water, you get iced water. What do you get when you put ice in ink?
That was my grandpa's favorite joke. I've heard it about a million times.
Posted by Sandra @ 04/08/2003 01:55 PM PST

Hey, are there any Allan Sherman fans out there?
Can't listen to "Harvey and Sheila" or "Sam and Yetta" or "Jerry Bockman" or any number of his other songs without giggling.
Posted by Jay @ 04/08/2003 01:58 PM PST

Well, if we're going to add the Brits, then we have to include Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.
And for the record, I am inclined to agree that URBAN COWBOY should have toured, rather than opening on Broadway. I am just trying to give the producers the benefit of the doubt. There are many factors to consider, and I don't believe - as BK does - that it is all about ego and pride.
Posted by Dave @ 04/08/2003 01:59 PM PST

Hehehe... Still batting a
thousand, Sandra!
Posted by Jed @ 04/08/2003 02:00 PM PST

Opening the show in NY (Urban Cowboy) is not about ego and pride - keeping it open and making a huge last minute announcement for publicity purposes after they'd announced a closing is P.T. Barnum at its finest. And keeping a show open that is losing money weekly and has no chance of ever recouping its cost IS all about ego and pride - if it isn't about that then it most certainly is about stupidy and fiscal irresponsibility.
Posted by bk @ 04/08/2003 02:41 PM PST

Jed, you wouldn't be saying that if you'd heard that joke a million times.
Posted by Sandra @ 04/08/2003 02:46 PM PST

Funny people INMO
George Burns
Jack Benny
Robin Williams
French & Saunders
Lili Tomlin
Bill Irwin
Billy Connolly
Rowen Atkinson
Bill Dana (Jose Jiminez)
Fozzi Bear
Carol Burnette
Peter Sellers
Spike Milligan
Magda Szubanski (Possibly only known outside Oz for "Babe")
Lenny Henry
Posted by Tom from Oz @ 04/08/2003 02:48 PM PST

Let's All Call Up AT&T And Protest to the President March
Butterfield 8!
Murray Hill 5!
Posted by Allan Sherman @ 04/08/2003 02:58 PM PST

Jay: Add me to the list of Allan Sherman fans ("Stein with an 'e-i' and Styne with a 'y!'").
Also Hinge and Brackett, Rowan Atkinson, Peter Sellers and James Lipton.
Posted by Drumm @ 04/08/2003 03:00 PM PST

Whatcha doin', Sarah?
Reading John O'Hara.
He's nice, too.
He's nice, too.
Posted by Allan Sherman @ 04/08/2003 03:00 PM PST

No one's mentioned the original cast of Saturday Night Live - also known as the Not Ready For Prime Time Players, especially Gilda Radner. This world certainly lost a great talent, not to mention a wonderful person (from what I've heard, never met her) when Gilda passed away.
Re:Baby back ribs - where do you get the babies from? Are they orphans, or do unscrupulous parents sell their own kids to the baby ranches? Also, at what age does the flesh start to get too tough? Are the best when under 1 year of age?
Posted by Ray @ 04/08/2003 03:11 PM PST

How's your cousin Rita?
A regular Lolita.
She's nice, too.
She's nice, too.
Posted by allan sherman @ 04/08/2003 03:12 PM PST

Speaking of babies, does anyone know the title of the Shel Silverstein poem (or book that the poem comes from) that has the line "Someone ate the baby"? I heard it performed as a monologue and it was hysterical. I know that "Someone ate the baby" is not the title of the piece. Any help will be most appreciated. Add Shel Silverstein (written comedy) to my list, also.
Posted by George @ 04/08/2003 03:24 PM PST

Dreadful
Someone ate the baby.
It's rather sad to say.
Someone ate the baby
So she won't be out to play.
We'll never hear her whiney cry
Or have to feel if she is dry.
We'll never hear her asking "Why?"
Someone ate the baby.
Someone ate the baby.
It's absolutely clear
Someone ate the baby
'Cause the baby isn't here.
We'll give away her toys and clothes.
We'll never have to wipe her nose.
Dad says, "That's the way it goes."
Someone ate the baby.
Someone ate the baby.
What a frightful thing to eat!
Someone ate the baby
Though she wasn't very sweet.
It was a heartless thing to do.
The policemen haven't got a clue.
I simply can't imagine who
Would go and (burp) eat the baby.
Posted by Shel Silverstein @ 04/08/2003 03:32 PM PST

How's your brother Bentley?
Feeling better ment'lly.
How's your sister Doris?
Still with William Morris.
How's your cousin Manny?
Signed up with Vic Tanny.
He's nice too.
He's nice too.
Posted by Allan Sherman @ 04/08/2003 03:50 PM PST

Thanks Shel! That was quick. It's amazing how quickly things can happen here at HHW!
Posted by George @ 04/08/2003 03:51 PM PST

Just had to break that soixante-neuf stranglehold on the number of posts.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/08/2003 04:33 PM PST

Did a dingo eat that baby?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/08/2003 04:34 PM PST

Numbers for Urban Cowboy
Urban Cowboy attendence for the week ending April 6:
Urban Cowboy (28.89%)
Urban Cowboy ($155,788)
That makes 2,681 people who saw it. The capacity is 1186 seats!
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 04/08/2003 04:35 PM PST

Ohhh, Sandra...."iced ink"....that's terrific!
Bill Orr: My headphones died. That's why I heard no audio on the Faith Dane video link. My bad.
Rrand52....Omigod! Those fluttering hands...as though they had a life totally their own! Zasu Pitts was hysterical!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/08/2003 04:39 PM PST

When Meryl Streep actually uttered the words "A dingo ate the baby" (I'm probably paraphrasing here, but it was very similar) it was one of the most uninyentionally hysterical lines of dialogue I ever heard, right up there with "I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you!"
Posted by Ray @ 04/08/2003 05:19 PM PST

Oops! That should have been "unintentionally"
Posted by Ray @ 04/08/2003 05:21 PM PST

Not to take control of this site away from BK, but theres an idea for a topic: what was the funniest unintentional line you ever heard in a "serious" film that had you laughing out loud when you weren't supposed to?
Posted by Ray @ 04/08/2003 05:26 PM PST

Ray: You thought the line "I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you" was meant to be UNintentionally funny? I've always assumed it was fully intended to be amusing, especially since it's preceded by Princess Leia saying, "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" and immediately followed up with her incredulous reply, "You're *who*?"
Posted by Lulu @ 04/08/2003 05:37 PM PST

Now THESE are posts! That's what I'M talkin' about. I'm jiggy with it, baby, totally jiggy.
Posted by bk @ 04/08/2003 05:42 PM PST

Anyhoo, as far as unintentionally funny lines (great topic, btw):
"Today is the day we worship Uranus" - Hercules and the Island of Captive Women
"Beware! Beware of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys... Puppy dog tails, and BIG FAT SNAILS... Beware... Take care... Beware!" - Glen or Glenda
"Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future." - Plan 9 from Outer Space
"War, war, war! That's all you think of, Dick Plantagenet!" - King Richard and the Crusaders
"There's got to be more for life than fighting for fish heads!" - Jonathan Livingston Seagull
"I cannot...yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do 'must' and 'cannot' meet? Yet I must...but I cannot!" - Robot Monster
Posted by Lulu @ 04/08/2003 05:54 PM PST

You're right, Lulu. It was intended to be comical, but I think it was all the more hilarious because it came right in the middle of the big edge-of-your-seat action rescue scene, when the audience was least expecting it.
BTW, on a side note - a short while ago, several people were posting on various famous people and characters that share your moniker. I wondered if you are familiar with the "Honeymooners" episode where Norton is sleepwalking, calling out "Lulu, Lulu!". Well, Trixie is worried about him, so Ralph tries to help. He finally figures out that Lulu was the name of Norton's childhood dog, so Ralph gets Norton another dog, but of course it doesn't help. The last scene of the episode is Norton sleepwalking through the Kramden's apartment, carrying the most adorable dog in his arms.
Posted by Ray @ 04/08/2003 06:09 PM PST

"I'm not acting." Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest.
"After her (Susan Hayward as Bortai) all other women are like the second pressing of the grape," John Wayne as Attila the Hun in The Conquerer.
Both movie favorites of mine.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/08/2003 06:31 PM PST

Years from now when you talk of this, and you will, be kind.
Posted by Robert Anderson @ 04/08/2003 06:38 PM PST

Okay - Today at HHW we learned what became of Faith Dane, the original Mazeppa, and I'm sure we all know of the later career of the original Tessie Tura, the late Maria Karnilova. But does anyone know what happened to the original Electra, Chotzi Foley?
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 04/08/2003 07:05 PM PST

Lately I've been particularly fond of the comedy stylings of the Iraqi Minister of Information.
(Even his job title is UNintentionally funny!)
But for English-speaking comedians, how about Dave Chappelle?
Posted by Sigerson Holmes @ 04/08/2003 07:08 PM PST

Hiya!
Favorite Funny People:
Joan Rivers
Mike Nichols & Elaine May
Steve Martin
Rita Rudner
Milton Berle
Robin Williams
David Letterman
Gilda Radner
(Early) Chevy Chase
Shecky Greene
Mort Sahl
BK in TFNM
Posted by KT @ 04/08/2003 07:15 PM PST

I hate to be a copycat, but I do love Mel Brooks and Shelley Berman (I still have his records packed away somewhere in the basement, same box as Allan Sherman, New Christy Minstrels, & Chad Mitchell Trio albums). Andrea Martin makes me laugh out-loud, too.
Posted by KT @ 04/08/2003 07:26 PM PST

Good to see a mention of that very funny movie with Streep and Dingos.
No one has yet given an explanation for how the baby's jacket was found neatly folded! Neat Dingo. Not!.
Streep's accent was good - she was of course meant to be from New Zealand!
I watched "Welcome To Woop Woop" yesterday. Similar to "Evil Angels".(aka "A Cry In The Dark" I think). Both funny but not as intended. WTWW is so bad it is enjoyable. What other movies has songs from Allegro?
Anyone for a Cherry Ripe?
Posted by Tom from Oz @ 04/08/2003 09:34 PM PST

I'm here!! I'm tired, but I'm here!!
TD: Thank you very much. I got the package yesterday.
Here's a quick, fun story...People have been posting about "the dingo ate my baby" and I actually rented that movie tonight, even though I hadn't read the notes about it! How coincidental, right?
OK...I'm off to bed. 'Night...
Posted by Jason @ 04/08/2003 09:51 PM PST

The greatest of them all, Ernie
Kovacs.
Posted by Ludlow29 @ 04/08/2003 09:59 PM PST

Ah yes, Ernie Kovacs...and the hysterical Nairobi Trio.
Posted by KT @ 04/08/2003 11:16 PM PST

OOhhh.. Thought I had posted earlier.. Guess not...
As for comedians.. All those listed above! How's that for a cop out? ;-)
Had a nice work-thru of Hair tonight. First audience tomorrow, IDR, and then opening on Thursday. Looking forward to it!
That's all for now.. Guess I should get to bed soon...
Posted by Jose C. Simbulan @ 04/09/2003 12:24 AM PST

Ray: Yep, I'm familiar with Norton's "Looooooo-loooooooo!" obsession. But in writing of it, you reveal your impeccable taste in television comedy. :)
Posted by Lulu @ 04/09/2003 02:44 AM PST

If you're ever in Mexico proper
And you're wearing a straw hat or topper
If the band starts to play call a copper.
Cos by now you should know
That they'll grab your chapeau
And they'll stomp till its flat
And that's that.
That's what Mexicans do on your hat.
Olay!
Posted by Allan Sherman @ 04/09/2003 03:40 AM PST

only in Indiana.
A man just wrote to the entertainment editor of our Indianapolis paper. He wanted to know the ages of Patricia Neal and Glenda Jackson, because he saw them do a dance routine when they entertained the troups during the Korean War.
The editor gave their ages, without comment.
What was 15 year old future AA winning Actress doing hoofing for the USO? What is wrong with this picture? Do you think the writer meant Glenda Farrell?
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/09/2003 05:27 AM PST

Would that be Oil of Ole'?
Posted by Lulu @ 04/09/2003 05:30 AM PST

Si'.
Posted by Sue @ 04/09/2003 05:50 AM PST

Warning-Medium long post coming up.
Fans of Michel Legrand should find their way over to BBC 2 for a six-week documentary on his life and work. It's Week Two right now. It's a half-hour program broadcast every Friday at 10pm London time. It's then available for listening through the entire week. They don't archive the entire program so if you have missed Part One you won't be able to hear it.
Go to
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/
On the right side of the screen is a picture of a speaker which says Listen Again then Listen to Your Favourite Shows Anytime.
Click on More Shows.
A new window will open. Click on The Michel LeGrand Story, on the bottom of the left column and you should be connected. It will take a minute or two for the connection to go through. You will need Real Player to hear this program. If you can listen to Donald's show here at HHW, then you already have Real Player.
There are wonderful music shows on all the BBC stations available for listening at any time. Just go to
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/
and browse through the choices.
Enjoy!
Posted by Ben @ 04/09/2003 06:00 AM PST

I watched MEET ME IN LAS VEGAS yesterday on TCM. I had never seen it before, but I enjoyed it very much.
Dan Dailey and Cyd Charisse make a good couple and their dancing was a lot of fun.
Agnes Moorehead and Jim Backus were also their usual funny selves.
Las Vegas in the 1950's what a trip!
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/09/2003 06:06 AM PST

Jrand: Do you have TCM tattooed to your eyelids or something? Don't get me wrong, I'm just as jealous as I can be that I only have a couple hours each day that I can devote to my favorite channel. I'll have to utilize my weekends better so I can at least try to keep up with your phenomenal film-viewing ability. :)
Posted by Lulu @ 04/09/2003 07:04 AM PST

LOL - no I just turn it there first. And nothing on any other network or service really makes me change from a film I really want to see.
Of course, now that I am going into rehearsal, my viewing time will be cut drastically, but that's okay. Everything comes back on eventually.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/09/2003 07:12 AM PST

How long until ebay offers pieces of the statue?
Posted by Laura @ 04/09/2003 08:01 AM PST

Gary Varvel's editorial cartoons usually make me laugh. Click my name.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/09/2003 08:35 AM PST

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