haines his way

04/09/2003:
"HERETOFORE, THERETOFORE AND EVERYWHERETOFORE"

Well, dear readers, we are making fine progress on the casting of our upcoming CD, which is looking like it will be much fun to do. So far our merry troupe includes the following (with the usual caveats about schedules and such): Dorothy Loudon, Alison Fraser, Christiane Noll, Judy Kaye, Emily Skinner, Lynnette Perry (back with us after an extended sabattical), and Guy Haines. I’ll have more cast announcements within the next few days. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Last night I watched two count them two motion pictures on DVD – both PAL Region 2 – the first was Ernst Lubitsch’s strange and marvelous To Be or Not to Be which I’ve only seen snippets of heretofore. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, heretofore I’ve only seen snippets, but now theretofore I’ve seen the whole damn thing. What kind of word is "heretofore" anyway? That is three count them three words in one. In any case, To Be or Not to Be is what would be called a “serious comedy” about the Nazis in Poland. It stars Mr. Jack Benny and Miss Carol Lombard and a great cast of supporting players, including an impossibly young Robert Stack. It is both hilarious and tense, and the plot machinations are rather on the brilliant side. Benny is hilarious as the vain actor, Joseph Tura, and Lombard sparkles as his wife. There is a running line of dialogue that becomes so funny after awhile that I was howling with laughter (“So, they call me concentration camp Ehrhardt?”).
The other film was a French film called Jeux Interdits (Forbidden Games), a harrowing film about the war, but also a wonderfully moving film about two young children, which I hadn't seen heretofore or theretofore. The little girl (Brigitte Fossey), who was all of seven at the time, gives one of the most extraordinarily naturalistic and beautiful child performances ever committed to film. On the DVD there is an interview with her, conducted two years ago, and I must tell you she looks amazing and is instantly recognizable. They have her filmography, too, and she has never stopped working over the years, and has appeared in what looks like over thirty films.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below so I can tell you what I’m doing this very evening.

What I am doing this very evening is going to the opening night of Stritch, at the Ahmanson Theater. I will have a full report for you tomorrow.
We’re one step closer to being finished with Kritzerland – yesterday I approved the cover and all its copy. Hopefully, as soon as I get the galley back with the last few corrections, we will be done. At that point, I’ll begin taking preorders, so stay tuned. It will be available here some weeks ahead of all online stores.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must continue casting the CD, I must drive hither and thither, and then later, yon. I must don my nice clothing for the theater tonight and I shall be supping prior to the play. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask all your excellent questions. Because I’m seeing Stritch tonight, I may not get to answer them until Friday’s notes, but ask away and I’m looking forward to seeing them – also, feel free to talk about anything else your collective hearts desire.

Replies: 51 Unseemly Comments

Ohmygosh - the first post!!!
BK - sorry I've been a bit busy and am catching up here. Have you announced the show/theme of the new CD???
Re comedians: Jerry Lewis and George Burns are high on the list (just saw "Goodnight Gracie" three weeks ago in NY - Frank Gorshin does GB proud!). More modern include Robin Williams (who always makes me laugh - can't listen in the car though - too funny!)
As for a question for the day: Of all your creative ventures (writing, performing, producing) which one provides the most fulfillment?
TTFN - regard to the rest of my fellow H/K's!
Posted by Phil @ 04/09/2003 08:49 AM PST

BK - I'm glad you finally saw the real "To Be Or Not To Be". It is far superior to the Mel Brooks remake (and I usually like Mel Brooks).
For Ask BK Day:
Although it hasn't opened yet, advance word seems to indicate that Miss Bernadette Peters is as miscast as Mama Rose as she was as Annie Oakley. Therefore a two part question:
1) What classic musical roles do you think Miss Peters would be right for?
2) What performer today that hasn't done the role in a major production do you think should play Mama Rose? Keep in mind that many very talented people who those of us who follow HHW know would probably be great but would not sell one ticket to the general public. This would have to be an actress who is right for the role and would be a draw.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 04/09/2003 09:08 AM PST

That great, Great, Polish actor Joseph Tura. LOL
That whole movie can make you howl! And I guess it was Miss Carole (with an e) Lombard's premature demise just prior to its release that caused it's low box office return. TO BE OR NOT TO BE the remake, does have a great Polish (?) language version of Sweet Georgia Brown dance by doubles for Mel and Anne. It is my favorite part.
Phil, I think details about the CD are available at www.brucekimmel.com or is that a different CD, Michael?
My question for Ask BK day - you mentioned in your BEGINNING OF THE END commentary that you would like to talk to the blonde girl who turns over the makeup table..LOL. Is there one certain participant in these types of film (50's SCI FI) that you would particularly like to interview - among those who are still with us, of course. What are you most curious to ask said person?
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/09/2003 09:31 AM PST

I have no question, having been damned to hell by BK yesterday.
But I just read something that most definitely indicate the true end of Civilization as We Know It:
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have purchased the rights to CASABLANCA, and plan to star in the remake.
I must now vomit.
Posted by Drumm @ 04/09/2003 10:11 AM PST

It will fit on the double bill with Nicole Kidman and Vin Diesel in the GUYS AND DOLLS remake.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/09/2003 10:19 AM PST

Dear BK,
I have just bought an egg salad sandwich from the cafeteria, but it must have just come from the freezer because it is frozen solid. Do you think that if I obtain a piece of foil-like material (like, say, a Chips Ahoy cookie bag that has been opened at both ends and torn down the side) and bend it in a three-dimensional parabolic shape and put the frozen sandwich in its clear plastic container in the parabola's focus, thereby directing the sun's rays toward the sandwich, triggering a greenhouse effect within the clear plastic container, and place the whole arrangement on top of my black book bag which will attract heat, thereby aiding the greenhouse effect caused by the three-dimensional parabola and the clear plastic container in warming the sandwich inside said container, do you think that would heat up the sandwich enough to thaw it? Or do you think I should use the microwave in the cafeteria?
Posted by Sandra @ 04/09/2003 10:32 AM PST

BK-
I SAID GOOD MORNING- A Song by Andre Previn and Comden and Green. Where is it from and who has recorded it beside Comden and Green themselves?
Posted by Arnold M. Brockman @ 04/09/2003 10:59 AM PST

If BK doesn't have the answer to the Betty & Adolph question I can answer it.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 04/09/2003 11:16 AM PST

Take it back and tell them you didn't pay the extra money for the frozen sandwich and you want the regular one.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/09/2003 11:34 AM PST

Hey, I don't think that Jennifer Lopez/Ben Affleck rumor is true. Her sister (Lynda) was on the View this week and she said that it was ridiculous.
jennifer
Posted by Jennifer @ 04/09/2003 11:36 AM PST

Dear BK,
When you travel, do you travel light? Or do you take lots of stuff along?
Posted by Laura @ 04/09/2003 11:48 AM PST

And if it is on The View it just
HAS to be true. . .
Posted by Starr @ 04/09/2003 12:05 PM PST

Jennifer,
I had no idea you were THAT Jennifer! Hey, everybody! JLo is posting here at HHW!!
(seriously, I'm glad you posted about it being a rumor, because otherwise I would have been forced to admit that I knew JLo's sis had been making the rounds discounting the Casablanca story. No, I don't watch The View...I read gossip about it, which is even more pathetic).
Posted by Lulu @ 04/09/2003 12:09 PM PST

Dear Reader Sandra:
Do NOT, repeat NOT attempt to thaw out your egg salad sandwich, either by utilizing the sun's natural warming rays or by using a microwave oven! Didn't your mother ever tell you about what inevitably happens to the mayonnaise at picnics?
*fanning self* Heaven forfend! I just hope I'm not too late...
Posted by Lulu @ 04/09/2003 12:11 PM PST

Who Made the Egg Salad Sandwiches?
Posted by 5 Neat Guys @ 04/09/2003 12:14 PM PST

Should We Double Date With Stan and Wendy?
Posted by 5 Neat Guys Gold @ 04/09/2003 12:16 PM PST

Ask Starr Jones.
Posted by 5 Neat Guys Platinum @ 04/09/2003 12:27 PM PST

Good afternoon!
Where is everybody?
Well, since I've been dealing with all types of technical stuff the past couple of days...
What computer software and hardware do you use when you record, arrange, edit, etc.? And do you use Mac or PC versions of said software?
Do you long for the days of good ole "analog" sound and lighting systems in the theatres? You know, the type where you actually got to move your hand up and down to control the levels, rather than just a mouse button. And do you think the truly amazing technical developments in stagecraft have taken any "personality" away from the craft?
Posted by Jose C. Simbulan @ 04/09/2003 12:59 PM PST

Ask Ben and the beard. . .
Posted by Starr @ 04/09/2003 01:00 PM PST

My Ask BK question: Have you ever seen Elaine Stritch acting a role in a stage play or musical? If so, what were your opinions about her then as opposed to what she's doing now onstage in her one woman show?
Posted by Matt H. @ 04/09/2003 01:01 PM PST

Jose - we still use analog sound...but hopefully this will be our last season of same. After all we are in a barn, in the middle of field, in Indiana.
Hey what is everyone having for dinner tonight?
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/09/2003 01:01 PM PST

Oh, I meant to add, WEL, that Mel Brooks did star in the remake ofn TO BE OR NOT TO BE, but Alan Johnson directed it and Thomas Meehan and Ronnie Graham are credited as the screenwriters, so it's not really a Mel Brooks film. I must say I didn't like the remake much. The gay stereotyped dresser and the cliched gay "humor" are really tiresome.
Posted by Matt H. @ 04/09/2003 01:05 PM PST

The funniest line in Brook's
version is "Sondheim. . . send
in the clowns!"
Posted by Kurt @ 04/09/2003 01:06 PM PST

Jrand: "It's Shake 'n' Bake...and ah hay-ulped!"
Actually, we're having lean pork tenderloin, sliced into strips and coated with crunchy-peanutty-Thai gunk, tossed salad, and either oven fries or possibly pan-fried potatoes (browned in just a wee bit of olive oil, some garlic powder and 11 original herbs and spices).
You?
Posted by Lulu @ 04/09/2003 01:18 PM PST

Drumm, I was not damning YOU to hell, I was damning THEM to hell, just like Mr. Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes. So, ask away, Drumm, ask away.
Posted by bk @ 04/09/2003 01:32 PM PST

BK, Well, when you damned "them" to hell were you in a loincloth and shirtless, all ripped and sweaty? Because it's much more effective that way.
Posted by Drumm @ 04/09/2003 01:55 PM PST

For ask BK Day:
Are you still going to be in town next week? Do you have your calendar marked? Would you tell Ms. Stritch Hello for me?
Posted by Kerry @ 04/09/2003 02:10 PM PST

Elaine Stritch's show is wonderful!! Hope you like it. If you get to see her afterwards asked her to write something about working with you for the site
Yes there is information about the upcoming cd at www.brucekimmel.com There is a provisional song list on the welcome page. Drop by take and look and leave your name in the guest book.
Posted by Michael Shayne. @ 04/09/2003 02:33 PM PST

Do you think that Bacharach and David watched to much Jeopardy when they wrote Question Me An Answer for the dismal remake of Lost Horizon?
Posted by Harry Lovett @ 04/09/2003 02:44 PM PST

The "To Be Or Not To Be" inspired song "The Hitler Rap" was a #1 song her in OZ for Mel. English group the Barron Knights released "The Churchill Rap" as a parody. The video for "The Hitler Rap" was possibly funnier than the movie!
Posted by Tom from Oz @ 04/09/2003 02:44 PM PST

BK: In reference to the music industry, what does the term "A&R" mean? I've always wondered that.
I finally got my very own "unofficial" copy of the MOBY DICK recording. It's very good for a cheaply made, recorded-in-one-day kind of disc. The composer has futzed with it a bit, which I wish he hadn't done, but what can you do? The official recording won't be available until the 25th or so, so be patient.
If you want a copy of the CD, please email your mailing address to me at the link below. I know I've asked for this before, but I'm asking again just to make sure I have everyone's info. Thanks!!
Posted by Jason @ 04/09/2003 03:11 PM PST

Bruce, this has been asked before, but what brand/ make/ model of region-free DVD player do you have? There are several that I've seen on eBay and I wonder if they're any good, or if they're what you have. I tried an Unseemly Search last night but couldn't find where you had answered this before.
If anyone else has one also, I'd be interested to know how well they work, are they cheap (in price and quality), etc. I have a few British DVDs (the Trevor Nunn "Oklahoma!" is one of them) and I don't want to pay $20+ per 2 hr. tape to have every one of them converted. Thanks!
Posted by George @ 04/09/2003 03:27 PM PST

Lulu, I have a vision of you...and it's the scene in "The Pirate" where Judy Garland sits on her bed, fanning herself furiously, just before she goes out into the cooler night and gets hypnotized by Gene Kelly.
Garland worked that fan!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/09/2003 03:41 PM PST

First off, if you haven't read all the
chapters of how BK got started in the
recording business,on the
www.brucekimmel.com site, grab a
diet coke and read it!! It's all very
interesting, I was definately a
different person when I finished.
Don't ask me how, but I was!!
Question for BK - I know someone
asked this before, but do you have a
college degree, if so, what is it in
and where did you receive it. If not,
how much college do you have?
"The Boy Friend" opens in two
weeks in Palo Alto, CA with Palo
Alto Players, I'm musical directing
and it's a pleasure to work with a
wonderful group of young adults and
a group of HY-sterical adults. More
info to come later if anybody wants
to know!
Posted by Matthew @ 04/09/2003 03:57 PM PST

My question for Ask BK Day:
When you go to a restaurant before an event at the Music Center in downtown L.A. (as you are doing this evening), where do you dine? I am always quite frustrated by the limited options around the complex. Maybe you have a "secret" place you can share.
And enjoy the show tonight! (I'm going on the 24th and can't wait.)
Posted by Jay @ 04/09/2003 04:19 PM PST

Matthew - of course we want the hear....I love putting on a play stories.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/09/2003 04:56 PM PST

Leaving momentarily, but I thought I'd stop by and say "Where in tarnation IS everyone?" I do hope I will see quite a few more posts when I arrive home later this evening.
Posted by bk @ 04/09/2003 05:03 PM PST

Well.. I think it's high time for a plethora of questions from Craig, don't you? Batter up!
1. What are your favorite chinese food dishes and do you take out from the same place you sit in?
2. In your opinion, what country or ethnicity makes the best desserts
3. Do you own any "wacky" boxers...if so, what are they. If not..why don't you?
4. What's the very first memory you have.
and #5...
What celebrities have you been confused for. Do you have any amusing anecdotes about this?
Posted by Craig @ 04/09/2003 05:03 PM PST

To all of you West Coasters who will be seeing Stritch. She is great. However if you have not played the CD of the show, wait until after you've seen it. It's a lot funnier when you don't know all the stories in advance.
We saw her when she did it first at Joe Papp's and were blown away. What a great lady.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 04/09/2003 05:16 PM PST

Ask Bk question:
If you were to make a film that was not a musical, who would you hire to compose the underscore, and why?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/09/2003 05:46 PM PST

Here's my "Ask BK question" - If you had to choose just one person in your life who gave you a bit of advice which made a big difference in your life, who would that person be and what was the advice?
Re:Lulu's early morning post on yesterday's notes - give me The Honeymooners, I Love Lucy, Our Miss Brooks, or any number of those classic early sit coms over what (marginally) passes for TV comedy today. It's just not funny anymore, now sit coms are just stupid, except maybe "Friends", but quite honestly I watch that more out of habit these days than anything else! However, the most surprising thing is that we actually watch a sit com on the WB network(!), "Reba", but again that's only because of the top notch performances. The story lines and the writing can get pretty moronic at times, but I love Reba (acting-wise, not her C&W music) and I wish that her songs for Annie Get Your Gun were recorded when she took over the role.
Posted by Ray @ 04/09/2003 05:56 PM PST

Well I don't know what BK's favorite Chinese food dish is. But mine is GENERAL TAOS chicken. Although it has to be made just right.
I didn't know this, but General Taos chicken is not common in certain major cities in the US.
jennifer
Posted by Jennifer @ 04/09/2003 07:28 PM PST

Re: Harry Lovett's question.
In the same movie they sing "The World is A Circle". Actually the world is an orb and not a perfect circle. No wonder the film bombed!
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 04/09/2003 07:58 PM PST

ASK BK: We all know actors audition for a part in a play or musical. How do musicians get a job in a show? Is this the job of the music contractor? If so how does the process work...are musicians selected because they are known by the contractor or is there an audition process? Does the music director have a say in who is hired? Are they under contract for a certain length of time while they are in the show?
Posted by Dennis Clancy @ 04/09/2003 08:28 PM PST

Well, I just watched a film that I had never seen, and to tell the truth, I don't think that I will ever see a finer film.
td finally has caught up with Fellini's 8 1/2 (on the magnificent Criterion Collection dvd, no less); so my question for "Ask BK Day" would be:
Excluding 8 1/2, what are the best black-and-white dvd transfers that you have seen?
And, I'm with Drumm, damning them all to hell simply MUST be said unshaven, sunburned and wearing the skimpiest of loincloths possible. . .
Posted by td @ 04/09/2003 09:45 PM PST

Bruce,
Are you a fan of Rage Against The Machine?
Posted by Phil @ 04/09/2003 10:31 PM PST

Michael Shayne:
The Olympic Emblem is five circles interlocked, each circle representing one of earth's five continents.
Continents are not circles.
Why haven't the Olympics bombed?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/09/2003 11:05 PM PST

Dear BK,
How was Elaine Stritch's performance?
Posted by Laura @ 04/09/2003 11:16 PM PST

Just back from Stritch about which more tomorrow. I'm going to attempt to answer as many questions as I can for tomorrow, but the ones I don't get to will be answered in Friday's notes.
Posted by bk @ 04/09/2003 11:26 PM PST

8 Women gets even better the more times you watch it.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 06:13 AM PST

If you watched 8 Women 8 times, would you wind up with 16 women? Or 64? Just how does that work, exactly?
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 07:48 AM PST

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