haines his way

04/10/2003:
"WEIRD SEED"

Well, dear readers, I had a most splendidly splendid evening last night, as you might have expected. I attended the opening night of Stritch at the Ahmanson Theater. My companion for the evening was our very own Miss Tammy Minoff. Prior to the show we supped at Otto’s Restaurant just below the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. One really has no choice because it’s the only restaurant to hand, other than the courtyard dining in front of the Mark Taper Forum, and that is almost as expensive and run by the same people. They also have a little store with boxed sandwiches and such, and one suspects that that is the best of the three places. Otto’s is a lovely restaurant that happens to serve some of the worst food ever put on plates. The one reasonable dish I’ve had there, Crab Cakes, is, of course, no longer on the menu. I had a grilled chicken breast swimming in some kind of shitake mushroom sauce, surrounded by spinach, lentils, carrots and warm tomatoes. It was barely tolerable, and the whole thing looked like food gone awry – the lentils looked like rat pellets (if you get my meaning) and the spinach was languid and droopy and there were all manner of shrubs on the plate and, of course, the sorry-looking chicken breast itself. Tammy had the roasted chicken (I think that’s what it was) and after her first bite she made one of those “PU” faces because there was some disgusting spice they’d use that tasted like licorice. She kept saying it was some sort of “weird seed” which I think is also the title of a Meltz and Ernest song. The best thing about supping there was our arrival – in front of us waiting to be seated was Mr. Blackwell.
After dinner, we wandered over to the theater and ran into the fellow who used to do all my CD covers (and who still does covers for “the label”) and he told me a most amusing story as to why The Sherman Brothers Album had been delayed. I shan’t repeat it here other than to say someone was not using all cylinders in their cabeza. Then we milled around with the crowd in front of the theater and I saw many people I know and adore, such as Bruce Vilanch, David Zippel (who, of course, worked with Tammy on The Goodbye Girl), our very own Norm Lewis, Ken Page, and the delightful clothing designer Pete Menefee (he did the costumes for the play I did at the Taper) and Tom Hatten. When we entered the theater a very nice fellow came up to me and asked if I was Bruce Kimmel and it turned out he was currently reading Benjamin Kritzer and he was/is also a budding Hainsie/Kimlet who occasionally reads these here notes. I told him he simply must post and hopefully he will, but it was very nice of him to stop and say hello.
Unfortunately, I had left my glasses in a coat which was in my house so I had to watch the show out-of-focus. However, even without my glasses I did notice Mr. Rip Taylor in the audience. In any case, the show then began and the audience went crazy from Miss Stritch’s first entrance and never stopped going crazy until the end of the show three hours later. Miss Stritch is electrifying and she takes hold of that stage and never lets it go. She is hilarious, touching, forthright and wonderful. It’s a very well put together show, simply done with her only prop being a chair, which she uses as if it were her co-star. If one had even the slightest nitpick it would be that it did seem to go on a bit long at close to two hours and forty minutes. I was thrilled she told a story about doing the play Time of the Barracudas at the Huntington Hartford, which I saw. When I went to her place to rehearse with her for the recording of Drat! The Cat! I brought up the play, and she said she hadn’t thought of it in years, and then she regaled Todd Ellison and I with many of the tales she told in her show. I can’t recommend this highly enough, so if you find yourself in Los Angeles, California during the run, make sure you see it. Bravo to all concerned.
What am I, Ken Mandelbaum all of a sudden? Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because you won’t believe it but I’ve gone and answered all your excellent questions.

Well, we had a plethora of questions, so I’d best just plunge in whilst trying not to think of the sorry chicken breast and Tammy’s weird seed. I think I even remember a tale – The Randy Vicar and the Weird Seed. In any case, onto the questions.
Phil asks of all my creative ventures (writing, performing, producing, etc.) which one provides the most fulfillment. Certainly writing the two Kritzer novels has thus far been the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done. It wasn’t easy, but at the end of each I felt I’d really and truly accomplished everything I’d set out to. And, as not far along as I am in the third book, I feel that every time I write I’m accomplishing something – we’ll see if it’s good or bad. I also felt great accomplishment producing all the CDs. I really felt I made a contribution to the world of theater music, and I really felt I brought something new to the table as a producer. Am I a fan of Rage Against the Machine? Never heard of it. However, I often have rage against the machine, especially the computer.
William E. Lurie mentions that although it hasn’t opened yet, advance word would seem to indicate that Miss Bernadette Peters is miscast as Mama Rose. What classic musical roles do I think Miss Peters would be right for, and what performer today that hasn’t done Mama Rose in a major production do I think should play it. First off, I won’t discount Bernadette until I see it, but it would seem she’s not found her Mama Rose yet from what I’ve heard (from people I trust, NOT from those idiots on other boards). I think Miss Peters could do a revival of Call Me Madam (I think she’d do her own thing but would be excellent), she could do Miss Adelaide (a bit long in the tooth, of course, but still, she’d be good), she could do Molly Brown (a bit long in the tooth, of course, but still, she’d be good) and I’m sure there are others I’m not thinking of. I think Patti Lupone could deliver an interesting Mama Rose, and she’d certainly be a draw.
Jrand52 says that I mentioned in the Beginning of the End commentary that I would like to talk to the blonde girl who turns over the makeup table. Is there one certain participant in these types of films that I would particularly like to interview and what would I ask this person? Well, certainly Marjorie Hellen (aka Leslie Parrish) and I would like to ask her to marry me.
Sandra asked a question about a frozen egg salad sandwich and how best to thaw it. I would never thaw a frozen egg salad sandwich – I would eat it like an egg salad Popsicle during the day. I have known dear reader Sandra for quite some time and I’d like to know at what point she became the Bob Newhart of haineshisway.com. I feel a career in comedy is something that Sandra is very qualified for, don’t you, dear readers? Her musings are delightfully droll and surreal.
MattH asks have I ever seen Elaine Stritch acting a role in a stage play or musical and if so what were my opinions about her then as opposed to what she’s doing now onstage in her one-woman show. I first saw Miss Elaine Stritch in a play entitled Time of the Barracudas, which was done “pre-Broadway” here at the Huntington Hartford Theater. I loved the play (by Peter Barnes) and I loved Miss Stritch and her co-star Lawrence Harvey. It never made it to Broadway because there were many personality issues between cast and director (the first director was replaced, I believe). I next saw her in Company, in which she was brilliant, absolute perfection. Then I saw her in Showboat, and she was very good in it. As I’ve already said, in her one-woman show she’s absolutely amazing.
Laura asks if when I travel I travel light or pack heavy. I don’t believe there is anyone who packs lighter than I. One overnight bag to carry on the plane. If it’s going to be a longer trip I actually Fed Ex clothes to the hotel in advance.
Arnold M. Brockman asks what the song I Said Good Morning by Andre Previn and Comden and Green is from and who has recorded it besides Comden and Green. I’d have to imagine it’s from It’s Always Fair Weather, as I don’t think they wrote anything else with Mr. Previn. I have no idea who else recorded it, so if anyone knows they can pipe up.
Jose asks what computer software and hardware do I use when I record, arrange, edit, etc. And do I use Mac or PC versions of said software? I never remember names of programs, but I don’t use them at all – the orchestrators and engineers use them. Vinnie, for example, uses a Mac, as does Grant Geissman. Do I miss the days of analog sound and lighting systems in the theater? I do grow a bit weary of the “technical artistry” that computers bring to stagecraft, with all those swiveling lights and multiple mics. There are times when I just wish they’d stop all of it and let the show do the work.
Kerry asks if I am still going to be in town next week and if I still have my calendar marked. I am and I do, but it is best to e-mail me a reminder on Monday.
Jason asks what the term A&R means in the recording industry. Artists and Repertoire. When someone is an A&R man, they usually find the singers to record, and the various kinds of albums to do.
George asks what brand of region free DVD player I have? He’s seen several on eBay and wonders if they’re any good. You have to be really careful of buying a region free player on eBay because most of them don’t do proper conversion in terms of widescreen. I have a JVC XV-S500 which is very good and which does everything properly. The other highly recommended player at a similar price ($250 when I bought it, probably a bit cheaper now) is the Malata. I bought mine at hkflix.com, and they have a new even cheaper player (around $100) that does the conversion properly, the Sampo. Visit their site because they are very detailed and excellent to deal with.
Matthew asks if I have a college degree and if so what is it and where did I receive it. No, I never wanted a college degree. I attended LACC for three years, basically only taking theater classes.
Jay asks when I go to a restaurant before an event at the Music Center where do I dine? As I’ve already written, the easiest thing to do is dine at Otto’s, which unfortunately is one of the worst restaurants (and high priced to boot) I’ve ever eaten in. There is an area outside the Taper where they serve food, too, but it’s run by the same people as Otto’s and it’s also quite pricey.
Craig has a mini-plethora of questions and here they are: What are my favorite Chinese dishes and do I take out from the same place I sit in. Yes, to the latter – I love anything Kung Pao, I love chicken with cashews, I love Wor Won Ton Soup and I really love Orange Chicken. This is all presuming that the restaurant cooks these dishes well. What country or ethnicity makes the best desserts? Oh, I don’t know – I like good old American cakes, donuts and pastries, cream pies, fruit pies, hot fudge sundaes and the like. Do I own any wacky boxers? Yes, Slapsie Maxie Rosenbloom. No, I do not own any boxers with the exception of my Nudie Musical boxers. What’s the very first memory I have? Well, in Benjamin Kritzer it seems to be the tonsil incident, so I’ll go with that one. What celebrities have I been confused with? Only one – Chevy Chase. Of course, he used to be confused with me before Saturday Night Live. What a difference a hit TV show makes.
Ron asks if I were to make a non-musical film, who would I hire to compose the underscore and why? Well, of course, it would depend on the type of film. I might hire Elmer Bernstein to do a simple touching story like Benjamin Kritzer, because he did such a beautiful job with both To Kill a Mockingbird and Henry Orient. I might hire John Williams for a romantic story, or perhaps Dave Grusin or Johnny Mandel. And, of course, if I could lure Andre Previn back to film scoring I would hire him any day of the week.
Ray asks if I had to choose just one person in my life who gave me a bit of advice which made a big difference in my life, who would that person be and what was the advice. I don’t know that I’ve met that person yet. I do like Sondheim’s advice – “Whoever has the most passion wins.” And my lawyer gave me some really good advice when the debacle of October 2001 happened – he said never get into bed with people without having a lawyer turn down the covers. Never again, that much I can tell you.
Dennis asks how do musicians get a job in a show. A contractor hires the band, and said contractor usually hires people he’s worked with and trusts. Once hired, those musicians, I believe, have the run of the show, and only if they leave can they be replaced.
Td has discovered 8 ½ by Mr. Fellini and believes it is one of the finest he’s ever seen. I could not agree more, it is a brilliant motion picture, one of many Fellini masterpieces of which my favorites are The White Sheik, I Vitelloni, La Strada, 8 ½ , and La Dolce Vita. What are the best black and white DVD transfers that I’ve seen? In Harm’s Way is pretty stunning black and white scope, Citizen Kane is great as is Sunset Blvd. and my newly acquired La Dolce Vita is superb in every way. Criterion’s version of Dryer’s Joan of Arc is extraordinary, as is 42nd Street and Séance on a Wet Afternoon.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must go hither and thither, I must dig out the Meltz and Ernest song entitled Weird Seed, I must write and make phone calls and whatnot. Today’s topic of discussion: I know we’ve done this before, but in honor of La Stritch, what are the best one-person shows you’ve seen. I’ll start – I would certainly put Stritch at the top of my list, but I’ll also include Oscar Brown, Jr., Martha Schlamme, and Lily Tomlin’s The Search for Intelligent Life in the Universe (well, it’s really Jane Wagner’s, performed by Lily). Your turn.

Replies: 93 Unseemly Comments

Perhaps the weird seed was Anise? That tastes like licorice. Better a weird seed then a bad seed I say..
Posted by Craig @ 04/10/2003 08:17 AM PST

I've seen that "Schlamme" name somewhere before.
Hmmmmm....was it with "Tommy"?
Is there a Tommy Schlamme out there?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/10/2003 08:30 AM PST

RP: Yup. Tommy Schlamme (rhymes) is a director, married to Christine Lahti.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 08:36 AM PST

What a wonderful time was had at the Pavilion last night. Thanks for sharing. Rip Taylor and Mr Blackwell in the audience and Elaine Stritch onstage. How simply marvelous...too marvelous for - words.
Thank you for answering my question, Mr BK. I really should have known that the answer would be one of those lovely moon maidens discovered during a Missile to the Moon.
I haven't seen a one-person show. The closest would be probably Miss Faye Dunaway in MASTER CLASS. She was stunningly beautiful and amazingly good! She kept the audience waiting 45 minutes, but I will say I forgot about that by the time she was done.
Unseemly Reader Kurt has scored two tickets for Rice-John's AIDA on Saturday and we are going. What is the unseemly skinny on this show from fellow readers???
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 08:43 AM PST

A note for Ray re: his Reba comments yesterday. Reba did record at least a couple of the songs from ANNIE GET YOUR GUN while she was was performing in the show, and they were released on a promotional CD. A friend of mine gave me a tape of it. If you don't mind the typical Reba twang, it's actually pretty good.
I got a good laugh out of the idea of BK at a Rage at the Machine concert. That's not the ratm I would normally associate BK with. Anyway, I am having a lousy day, and that picked me up a li'l bit...
As I said before, I loves me some Sandra.
Posted by Dave @ 04/10/2003 08:50 AM PST

Speaking of Mr. Blackwell, did anybody happen to catch his star turn on an episode of "Matt Houston" from 1983? It was quite stunning, I assure you. In it, he played "Valentine St. Clair" a fashion designer who prefers hot pink-spangled blazers in his own wardrobe. He's just broken off a blazing-hot affair with Elke Sommer, and Christina Ferrare is still smoldering because he booted her out of their apartment when the embers of their romance burned cold. (How's that for fire analogies, eh?) Quite the ladies' man, that Mr. Blackwell.
He once wrote of an outfit Liz Taylor wore that it made "her bosoms look like two little boys fighting under a blanket."
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 08:52 AM PST

I'd classify Stritch as one of the top four. The other three: Garland at the Palace in 1967 (which may not qualify as she had opening acts and Lorna & Joey appeared with her); Barbra in 1966 or 67 at Soldiers Field in Chicago which she described as "This pregnant Jewish girl standing in a football field in July during a light rain and singing 'Silent Night' "; and Bette the five or six times I saw her - all before she became a film star. How I wish the Barbra and Bette of today would still do the kind of material that made them famous at the beginning of their careers.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 04/10/2003 08:53 AM PST

Jrand - Aida ROCKS. Much better than I thought it would be, I expected to hate it. I'd see it again if I ever had the chance. Have a good time and be sure to report back. As for the topic, I've never seen a one-person show.
Posted by Matthew @ 04/10/2003 09:02 AM PST

OMG...of course, Judy Garland in some baseball field in 1966 in Cincinnati or some place like that.
Thirty minutes late: "Miss Garland has left the hotel."
Hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Forty minutes late: "Miss Garland is stuck in traffic."
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
Seventy five minutes late: "Miss Garland is here and will be onstage momentarily."
Hurray!!!!!
And when she got there...she tore the house down.
Yes, Judy Garland...tiny thing that she was.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 09:06 AM PST

Thanks, Matthew. I am looking forward to it.
Oh yes, that Mr Blackwell is quite the Don Juan. Can you imagine keeping BOTH Elke Sommer and Christine Farrere happy? And you can just bet that Anita Gillette was warming up in the wings.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 09:08 AM PST

Dear Reader Jrand52--
Regarding the Rice/John AIDA: Verdi turned 'round in his grave. (Ooh, a Rodgers and Hart reference.)
Posted by Jay @ 04/10/2003 09:13 AM PST

Oh yes I am behind on reading posts, and I haven't even read Dear Writer Bruce's notes for today, but I must, must, must (that's three musts; it's getting rather musty in here) call your attention to the new film Camp.
Click on my name to go to the NY Times review (from a showing at Sundance).
Especially of interest to us "members of that eccentric breed of musical comedy aficionados who live to collect out-of-print albums of obscure shows", as the Times puts it.
Posted by William F. Orr @ 04/10/2003 09:20 AM PST

Dear Reader William - did you put the url in the email box instead of the homepage box?
Hey, Jay, you mean Pinwheel Guiseppe?
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 09:25 AM PST

Good Day!
One man/woman/person shows: I think the only one I've seen has been Lily Tomlin in Search for Signs... And I saw it both in her original tour, and in her revival a few years ago at the Booth in NYC. However, I'm sure I've seen a few other one-handers, but they just aren't coming to mind right now.
-And what a difference an audience makes! The IDR of Hair went very well, and the cast really loved the feedback from all those people in the seats. Oh, I think I still have the peace sign they drew on my face - well, I guess it rubbed off on my pillow. We open tonight, and then the ACTF judges come Saturday.
Jrand52: I hope you enjoy Aida. I had a great time playing in the pit last summer - and you'll be seeing most of the same company. I believe both the Aida and Radames (Paulette Ivory and Jeremy Kushnier) are still with the tour, and they do a nice job. It's a very... Well, I'll let you see the show yourself... Again, have a great time. -And if Cosmo is conducting, be sure to say HI for me. ;-)
Posted by Jose C. Simbulan @ 04/10/2003 09:33 AM PST

Yes, Jose, those performers are still in the show. I will let you know, but I think I will like it.
Can't read the NYT story on CAMP, but there is a local angle to it. Click on my name.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 09:38 AM PST

Regarding one-person shows: Maybe because it is still so fresh in my memory (I saw it just a few weeks ago), I have to say that Barbara Cook's "Mostly Sondheim" show is surely one of the best one-person shows I've ever seen. The simplicity of the concept, I believe, drove much of its appeal. The clever construct of Sondheim's music plus music he wished he had written produced a wonderful and unpredictable assortment of material. Miss Cook, with her wonderful voice, vivid interpretations and considerable charm. A piano and a bass. And, of course, an adoring audience. What more do you need? It was quite an experience!
Posted by Jay @ 04/10/2003 09:39 AM PST

Jrand: I'd love to be happy for the Hometown Girl Made Good, but I can't, for two reasons:
-Her name is Tiffany
-She's from Carmel.
What does a Carmel widow wear to her husband's funeral? A black tennis dress.
What does a Carmel mother say to her baby? Gucci-Gucci-goo.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 10:02 AM PST

LOL...and you know they think the jokes are compliments, Lulu.
I really can't be happy for anyone who participated in those child pageants. Horror shows! And the people who organize and participate in them, just don't get it.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 10:14 AM PST

Jrand: YES. Child beauty pageants, another excellent reason to not be thrilled for Tiffany/Alana.
So nice to have my bitterness justified! :)
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 10:23 AM PST

Well, we had another very productive Career Exploration session. The 350-pound psycho-therapist told us he went on a diet a few weeks ago, so he is now the 349-pound psycho-therapist. Then he spilled his coffee on himself and said a word that I haven't heard since my fencing teacher got fleched and shouted out various and sundried swear words.
Surprisingly, the middle-aged hippie who's been out of work for twenty years didn't show up. He must have gotten an early start on that Fountain of Youth thing.
What am I, Bob Newhart all of a sudden? There's just something about that class that just brings it out in me. Funny, though, the 349-pound psycho-therapist never mentioned comedy as a possible career for me. That may be because I never say any of my comedic gems (smeg spelled backwards) in front of him for fear of being sat upon by 349 pounds of Star Trek-loving psycho-therapist mass.
Career Exploration is certainly one of my favorite one-man shows. Another, however, is Jason Graae's show. Though I might have to rethink that in a couple weeks, when we do our presentations in Career Exploration. I have a feeling some of them will qualify as one-man comedy routines.
Posted by Sandra @ 04/10/2003 10:35 AM PST

Dear Reader Sandra:
You just slay me.
Posted by Jay @ 04/10/2003 10:43 AM PST

The best one-person shows I've seen, in addition to Tomlin in "Search For Signs . . ."), would have to be Estelle Parsons in "Miss Margardida's Way," James Whitmore in "Give 'Em Hell Harry," and Julie Harris in "The Belle of Amherst."
I also saw the very first public performance of the glorious Miss Celeste Holm in her Janet Flannery piece (the title has escaped me at the moment) and she was far superior to the material.
Posted by Drumm @ 04/10/2003 10:47 AM PST

Betty Buckley at Westminster College one week following her (recorded)Carnegie Hall concert. This is the greatest one-person show I have ever experienced, if only because the atmosphere was totally wrong - a sold out college auditorium bordering on the American 'farm belt' and the 'steel mill belt - not exactly where you would expect to find a diva such as Betty. Also, this was the night that I spent a l - o - n - g time in Ms. Buckley's dressing room discussing virtually everything she had ever done! Though she basically did the Carnegie Hall concert, she made some minor adjustments because of the audience of non-theater people; she had planned on performing "When There's No One," and Kenny Werner actually played part of it as underscore to her chatting with the audience, but didn't perform it because CARRIE THE MUSICAL wouldn't have any meaning to 99% of the audience there.
Barbara Cook's "It's Better with a Band" concert at Carnegie Hall was quite good, too. It was the first time I had ever "second-acted."
MOSTLY SONDHEIM will alway be special, too.
Posted by td @ 04/10/2003 11:02 AM PST

This will probably be an unpopular opinion, but why is it that people who live in a certain region of the nation are considered less able to appreciate a concert than are people who live close to Carnegie Hall? If the venue was sold out, it's a fair bet that most of the people who bought the tickets were there to see Betty the Diva (not Abby from Eight is Enough), just like the Carnegie audience was. It's a shame that her assumptions about their sophistication level caused her to cheat the audience of a song. (Do you really have to have been physically present at one of the few performances of "Carrie" to be able to appreciate one of its songs when you hear it?)
I suppose we can at least be grateful she didn't replace the cut song with an extra-twangy rendition of "Thank God I'm a Country [Girl]."
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 11:12 AM PST

How could I have forgetten the Cook Sondheim show? Add that to the four above.
As for Lily's "Intelligent Signs..." I thought her performance was far superior to the material and I'm sure that in productions with other actresses (I know there have been some) it must have been difficult to sit through.
The most disappointing solo show I saw was Shirley MacLaine in the 70s. I had the record first (for you younger dear readers that was a large 2-sided CD with a hole in the middle) and loved all her ad libs and "give and take" with the audience. When I saw the show I discovered it was all scripted and every "ad lib" on the record was in the show itself.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 04/10/2003 11:13 AM PST

I'm just adding my yeas to most of the shows mentioned already.
Ms. Stritch At Liberty
Barbara Cook's Mostly Sondheim
Lily Tomlin Search for Signs...
Re: Camp, I have a friend in a very small role in this movie. He's a camp counselor. The movie sounds like a lot of fun.
Posted by Ben @ 04/10/2003 11:47 AM PST

'Camp' sounds so funny... I will probably have to wait for the DVD - but that's okay.
Lulu - it's just one of those things - a Cole Porter reference. It's like when I was walking through a field with my friend from the city, and he was concerned that the pigs might stampede. When he asked me about it all I could say was, "They might." Let them pretend to be culturally superior. They don't realize the world has become a VERY small place.... And Hee Haw is just a state of mind.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 11:59 AM PST

May the theatre gods not strike me with lightning - but I have forgotten a show I saw and loved.
Mr John Astin as Mr Edgar Allan Poe.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 12:00 PM PST

Click on the kingdom name for a review of Mr Brent Barrett's King Arthur at Paper Mill Playhouse.
Posted by Camelot @ 04/10/2003 12:10 PM PST

Fennel or anise could be the weird seed--- as opposed to Rhoda Penmark.
Posted by Kerry @ 04/10/2003 12:19 PM PST

By the way, BK, if you know in advance how bad the food is at the Music Center, why not eat somewhere else and then drive to the Music Center? The only thing I can think of would be that the parking lot fills up early. Otherwise why go to a restaurant where you know the food is going to be bad?
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 04/10/2003 12:28 PM PST

Yeah...what he said! (WEL)
I was wondering the same thing.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 12:34 PM PST

What will you give me for a basket of kisses?
>:-)
Posted by Rhoda Penmark @ 04/10/2003 12:43 PM PST

William E Lurie wrote How could I have forgetten the Cook Sondheim show?
I missed that one. Was it on Iron Chef? How did they prepare Sondheim. Was it a savory and sweet pie? Oh.. a Sweeney Sondheim reference!
Posted by Craig @ 04/10/2003 12:45 PM PST

Diane Lala has a one-woman
show in New Orleans that
contains songs that simply
make one sigh deeply. Of
particular note is a wistful,
thoughtful rendition of Shall
We Dance?, sung softly and
with a youthful shyness. . .
almost coy, but not quite.
Simply a wonderful evening.
All I know, all I owe I owe
Eye-eeda. . .
Sorry. . .
Posted by Kurt @ 04/10/2003 12:55 PM PST

A Rittman and Hammerstein reference no doubt.
Posted by Trude @ 04/10/2003 01:01 PM PST

Sweeeeeeeeeeeney? ! ? !
Screaming of which: I saw the
foul Chicago Lyric production
and have sworn NEVER to see
Sondheim performed in an
opera house again. . .
particularly by overrated
baritones who CANNOT
REMEMBER THE WORDS! ! ! !
! !
Arrrrgggggghhhhh h h h kkkk !
Again. . . sorry.
Posted by Kurt @ 04/10/2003 01:07 PM PST

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 01:08 PM PST

Craig, maybe it was:
Sondheim's Pie peppered with
Actual Sondheim on top!
As far as the "one-person" shows that I've seen, I've only seen three (that I can remember):
A one-man "Hamlet" done here in Olympia (the guy was from Seattle) and it was very good.
Last month I saw "Mark Twain Tonight!" with Hal Holbrook. That was very good.
In 1995, in my one trip to New York, I bought a ticket from someone standing in front of the theater of "Robeson." It was just Avery Brooks (formerly of "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") and a piano player...almost three hours of Avery telling and singing about the life of Paul Robeson. It was riveting. One of the highlights of my trip and absolutely the best darn one-person show I have ever seen.
Posted by George @ 04/10/2003 01:14 PM PST

I know people for whom complaining about bad food is actually more pleasurable than eating good food.
Put another way...
Nothing tastes as good as being a martyr feels.
Posted by Dave @ 04/10/2003 01:14 PM PST

There really is nothing worse than
going to a restaurant and having to
get into your car and drive to the
theatre, East Coast New Yorkers,
I'm sure, have never had to
experience this. It's that extra step of
having to drive somewhere that
totally runins the evening. There is
NOTHING... one more time...
NOTHING around the Music Center
in LA that resembles a restaurant,
except Otto's, obviously. So, you are
stuck if you want to avoid driving and
interupting your evening experience.
I must say, downtown LA is poorly
laid out in that area. Of course you
could browse around the New
Cathedral that is kiddy-corner to the
Music Center... Taj Mahoney, as we
Catholics like to call it. (named after
it's obscure design and the Cardinal
who bulit it, Cardinal Mahoney). Oh
gosh, I'm rambling... anyway, I have
one word of advice for you, Eat Out.
(Ohh.... a Hello Dolly reference!)
Posted by Matthew @ 04/10/2003 01:15 PM PST

I've not seen enough one-person shows to give any kind of judgement or comparison. One of the best two-handers, however, was A Walk In The Woods, which my ever-lovin' der Brucer and I saw in London. It starred Sir Alec Guinness and Edward Herrmann, who between them actually had four hands and not just two, although Sir Alec could easily have out-acted anyone else with both hands tied behinds his back, he was that elegant and truthful.
When it comes to dining in the Los Angeles Music Center area, der Brucer and I have found Otto's to be a very poor choice. They do have a captive audience, mainly because so many people (a Sondheim ref) cannot bring themselves to walking further than a block in the Los Angeles area. On opera nights, Otto's is thus crammed with ladies in their glittering attire and their swains in attendance, eating their salads and not looking very happy. From your report, BK, it's clear that the lack of elbow room is not the only reason for their frowns.
Der Brucer and I have found several restaurants located just a few blocks to the south. Many of these restaurants are linked to the Music Center by shuttles. Since we've never objected to walking those few blocks to find a better meal, we've never used the shuttles, but it's nice to know that they're available.
Of course, if you don't mind parking twice, once where you dine and again at the Music Center (please have your seven dollars ready to pay the parking attendant, who is there to rake it in), the other solution is to dine further away at a restaurant you really like, and then put up with the last minute parking. We've found this to be a good solution, because while we've often had to park under the county courthouse (the underground parking structure extends that far, under the street to this more distant area), we don't mind the extra walk, and upon leaving the Music Center parking structure have been able to use a different (and much faster) exit.
Lordy, I'm going to miss some things about LA when we move to Delaware!
Posted by S. Woody White @ 04/10/2003 01:17 PM PST

Stritch of course
Cook of course
Two from Montreal
Denise Pelletier in 1976 as the Divine Sara (about Sara Bernhardt)
Warren Alexander acting three different monologues and singing Kurt Weill songs. The plays direction and monologues were written by Michael Shayne.
Okay I am little biased about the last one but he was really, really good in it.
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 04/10/2003 01:18 PM PST

Michael - would we call your post a "shaynless" plug for your event?
remember.. there is NO groaning here at HHW!
Posted by Craig @ 04/10/2003 01:31 PM PST

WEL: Obviously it's the convenience factor - the parking situation is awful so I like to get down there by six, park, pick up the tix and then sit in Otto's for an hour and a half. As I said, their crab cakes were not bad, but they no longer have them.
And one would think, Dave, my sarcastic Hainsie/Kimlet, that after reading these here notes for as long as you have that I rarely complain about food - I normally rave about food. Martyr? We don't need no stinking martyrs, Dave, my sarcastic Hainie/Kimlet.
Posted by bk @ 04/10/2003 01:38 PM PST

Matthew: The traffic must truly be horrendous if it would seem preferable to pay big bucks to consume bad food that you *know* is going to be both expensive and awful. If the situation's as dire as you describe, I would choose to dine at either my home or that of my friend, and then go to the theater. There are plenty of tasty, easy-to-prepare meals (many of them involving pasta) that could make for the beginning of a fun evening, even for non-gourmets.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 01:39 PM PST

Not too much from which to choose!
Barbra Cook
Dame Edna - "A Nice Night's Entertainment"
Posted by Tom from Oz @ 04/10/2003 01:42 PM PST

My, Bruce, you seem so defensive. (Notice I didn't say paranoid...) Why would you assume that I was talking about you?
I am sure we all have friends or acquaintances who are guilty of the exact same thing I am talking about, no?
The same people who would rather complain about how their feet are killing them than buy shoes that fit.
Any other good examples?
Posted by Dave @ 04/10/2003 01:56 PM PST

One-person shows:
Mostly Sondheim
An Evening With Dame Edna
They're the only one-person shows I've seen.
Lulu...got any more Carmel jokes?
LOVED 'EM!
To BK: Next time you go to a "do" at the Chandler Pavilion, why not call someone to "deliver" a nice repast for you and your guests...and you guys can eat, buffet style, from the delivery person's trunk!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/10/2003 01:58 PM PST

I have several one person shows I thought were astonishing:
Liza Minnelli (in about 1986). She was breathtaking in everything she did, but whoever choreographed "I Love a Piano" for her to do on a stool was a genius - pure theater and something I've never forgotten.
Three men in solo plays I found memorable:
Hal Holbrook in MARK TWAIN TONIGHT
James Whitmore in GIVE 'EM HELL, HARRY
Robert Morse in TRU.
Posted by Matt H. @ 04/10/2003 02:22 PM PST

Don't feed the animals.
Posted by Zookeeper @ 04/10/2003 02:23 PM PST

Gosh, I know *ever* so many people who do silly things. Like I know this one person who seeks out message boards where most of the people obviously share a common aesthetic sensibility, just so that person can post messages that deride their shared sensibility!
This silly person also posts various comments derogatory about another certain person upon whom this certain message board is centered. These derogatory comments are meant to be cryptic, but would only be so to a mentally retarded 3-year-old, if said 3-year-old happened to be not human, but a dodo bird, and also if said retarded 3-year-old dodo bird happened to only exist in a cave that was buried deep in the jungles of an uncharted desert island.
And all the while, this silly person makes his pronouncements with all the lofty wisdom of a sage who only wants to enlighten all of these dumb little twits who are too insular to know just how out of touch with the Real World (as this silly person sees it) they really are.
Now, I ask you, isn't our modern-day Cassandra the very silliest person you ever heard of? And the silliest thing of all is that this person I know doesn't merely accept the fact (apparent to all who know him) that he's a weasel, but instead seems to believe he is, in the words of Mark "The Kids in the Hall" McKinney, "The guy on top of the mountain with the big egg."
Of course, I am merely describing a certain person I know, and no inferences should be made herewith, forewith, or aftwith about said person. 'kay?
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 02:32 PM PST

I forgot Tru! Yes, a truly wonderful performance. Thanks for reminding me, Matt.
Posted by Ben @ 04/10/2003 02:32 PM PST

That's right. . . Tru was a
wonderful evening. . . Morse
channeled Capote the night I
saw him in his tour.. . . thanks
for reminding me. . .
Posted by Kurt @ 04/10/2003 02:36 PM PST

And. . . I recall thoroughly
enjoying Phyllis Newman's
Madwoman of Central Park
West. . .
Posted by Kurt @ 04/10/2003 02:39 PM PST

Dear, dear, zookeeper, I know you're right, and I hope you can find it in your heart to one day forgive me.
Ron: Unfortunately, I can't dredge any more Carmel jokes from my tired old thinker just now. Perhaps Dear Reader jrand can help you on that score? If not, just think of any "rich shallow person" joke you've ever heard and insert "Carmel" (a rich, shallow enclave of central Indiana) into it.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 02:41 PM PST

What does a Carmel housewife make for dinner?
Reservations.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 02:46 PM PST

Kurt...what was Phyllis wearing?
Oh wait a minute...you meant she was in a show. Oh, nevermind.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/10/2003 02:47 PM PST

Jrand: Thanks for obliging, I knew you'd come through!
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 03:06 PM PST

The three yentas were sunning themselves by the pool at their Catskill Mountains hotel, kvetching about the food in the dining room. "Oy, such dreck," says the first one. "The meat is green and the vegetables are brown." "I never tasted such awful food," pipes up the second one. "It's a wonder we're not all in the hospital with food poisoning." "I know, I know," says the third. "And such small portions!"
Posted by Jay @ 04/10/2003 03:10 PM PST

For its fans at HHW, the 1953 Twentieth Century Fox film TITANIC with Clifton Webb, Barbara Stanwyck, Audrey Dalton, Richard Basehart, Robert Wagner, Harper Carter, Thelma Ritter, and Brian Aherne will be released on Region 1 DVD on September 2, 2003!
Posted by DVD NEWS @ 04/10/2003 03:19 PM PST

The following is a translation of Jay's joke into a Carmel joke:
The three Carmel housewives were sunning themselves by Nordstrom at Keystone at the Crossing, complaining about the food at Dalt's.
"Ding-Dong-Dang it, it's yucky," says the first one. "The meat is green and the vegetables are brown."
"I never tasted such awful food," pipes up the second one. "It's a wonder we're not all at St. Vincent's with food poisoning."
"I know, I know," says the third. "And such small portions!"
Posted by Lulu @ 04/10/2003 03:34 PM PST

"Ding-Dong-Dang it." I'm going to put that in my glossary next to "hecky durn."
One learns so much here at HHW.com, which by now must be by far the most popular site on all of the Internet.
Posted by Jay @ 04/10/2003 03:54 PM PST

Dave: Well, your post seemed to directly reference something I wrote, didn't it. But, defensive? No. Amused/weary/same old, same old? Absolutely.
This is a fine number of posts, and we are ever so jiggy. I got a DVD in the mail yesterday that caused major elation, but the notes were already so long I decided to wait until tomorrow to talk about it.
And how could I forget my beloved Dame Edna, one of the best afternoons I've spent in any theater anywhere anytime.
Posted by bk @ 04/10/2003 04:08 PM PST

Tip for the day: Do not take a botony student grocery shopping. They tend to argue with the produce manager about the classification of the produce.
Posted by Laura @ 04/10/2003 04:21 PM PST

Reviews are starting to be published online for NINE (hey that rhymes!)
So far.. they are fair to poor
Posted by Craig @ 04/10/2003 05:20 PM PST

I SAID:
WHAT WILL YOU GIVE ME FOR A BASKET OF KISSES?
Posted by Rhonda @ 04/10/2003 05:44 PM PST

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT
WHAT WILL YOU GIVE ME FOR A BASKET OF KISSES?????
Posted by RHODA PENMARK @ 04/10/2003 05:45 PM PST

Spring is here! Yeah! After getting snow on Saturday, it was 50s and sunny today. And it will keep getting warmer for the next 4 days. Yeah!
Posted by Jennifer @ 04/10/2003 06:09 PM PST

Here I go, breaking up the "soixant-neuf" again!
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/10/2003 06:30 PM PST

There's a "Keystone at the Crossing" near Carmel?
What is Dalt's?
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/10/2003 06:32 PM PST

Oh! Oh! Oh!
Now I get it!
I thought you meant Carmel as in "Carmel-by-the-Sea" here in California...very snooty-rooty-tooty.
Carmel INDIANA. Lord, I've not thought of "Keystone at the Crossing" in nearly 20 years!
Lost my wallet there once, I did.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/10/2003 06:35 PM PST

I just received an alert from Rhino Handmade:
Theodore Bikel's Treasury Of Yiddish Folk And Theatre Songs is available at: www.rhinohandmade.com
This very new, very limited and available ONLY online.
Posted by Ron Pulliam @ 04/10/2003 06:36 PM PST

Gosh, Lulu...why don't you tell us how you really feel? ;-)
For one thing, I never sought out this website in the first place. I followed BK here from his previous website (i.e. the "label"). I discovered that site when I received an email advertising it, so I can't even claim to have sought it out.
Secondly, if by "shared sensibility", you are referring to a love of good music, theatre and film, then this is an sensibility that I share. I have no reason to deride it.
Nor do I make cryptic comments about our host. When I feel that BK is being less than genuine, I will call him on it. I would expect the same from my friends. Do I sometimes 'take the piss' out of him for sport? Yeah, I suppose I can plead guilty to that. And BK is a big boy, and gives as good as he gets.
I have had people misinterpret my random musings before - probably because tone is so difficult to determine from the written word - and infer some sort of intended injury. Please understand that this is a fault of my writing, and not my character.
Since you have never met me, I would hope that you would consider giving me the benefit of the doubt. I try to live my life with that principle as my guide. It saves lots of grief and stress.
And I have said repeatedly, I have nothing but the highest opinion of the intellect of the dear readers at HHW. Yourself included.
It may be hard for you to believe, but the comments that I made were actually NOT intended as a reference to BK. Several of the posters today questioned why anyone would go to a restaurant when they know the food is bad. BK had already offered one explanation, and I offered another. It never occurred to me that anyone would apply that explanation to Bruce.
So who else could I possibly have been referring to? I'll give you a prime example. My mother. I love my mother, but she is the kind of lady who will complain all evening that the show on TV is trash, rather than pick up the remote and change the channel. I find this amusing no end, and thought that many of the readers of HHW would likely know of a similar character, or could offer a similar anecdote. Your Carmel joke about the women at Dalt's is a prime example of the kind of response I hoped to elicit.
If I forget to include a smiley next to every post that I make, please assume that there is one there, and no malice is intended.
Shake?
Posted by Dave @ 04/10/2003 07:08 PM PST

I'll give you a basket full of hugs.
Posted by Christine Penmark @ 04/10/2003 07:57 PM PST

One person shows:
Elaine Stritch At Liberty
Barbara Cook Mostly Sondheim
Bette Midler
Lily Tomlin Signs of Intelligent Life
Posted by Dennis Clancy @ 04/10/2003 08:06 PM PST

Lulu - regarding the "sold out" audience for BLB; it was part of a 'subscriber' series (of which I was not) that basically more or less brought in *familiar* acts to the college. Steve & Edy, Rip Taylor (!), symphonies, etc. The reasn that BLB was appearing is only because the dean of the college had been to the Carnegie Hall event and personally invited her to appear on a spur of the moment thing. It was a very loose, very relaxed concert, with lots of BLB talk about theater, film and recording tossed in between the songs.
Posted by td @ 04/10/2003 08:38 PM PST

We don't got no stinkin' one-man shows here in Lost Vegas .
Just a bunch of people running around in g-strings and feathers stuck on their keesters.
Posted by KT @ 04/10/2003 08:49 PM PST

Hi, KT !
How is Céline doing ?
Not too tired with all those
weekly shows, poor girl, i
hope......;- )
Posted by François @ 04/10/2003 09:37 PM PST

Well, I don't think Guy Haines
is much for television, but
tonight's CSI revolved around
one of his favorite movies (and
one which has some uncanny
parallels to his life), Strangers
On A Train. And for those
viewers who know the movie,
they threw in a character
named Anthony Haines (but
no Guy Bruno or anything to
finish the reference).
Posted by Jed @ 04/10/2003 10:02 PM PST

Dave, Dave, Dave (that is three Daves) - "Take the piss out of him for sport"? I mean, really, while certain comments you've made in the past may have irked me (I am sometimes easily irked, depending on the irk factor of the particular day on which the irk occurs), I'm not quite sure you're up to taking the piss out of me, for sport or otherwise. Very few people on this earth have taken the piss out of me, either literally or metaphorically. Carol Channing tried, but she did not succeed. No, I'm afraid my piss is intact.
There really is no reason that I can see for anyone to take the piss out of anyone else on this here site, because it serves no purpose whatsoever.
And now, back to the fabulous Japanese motion picture I am watching - a lovely LESBIAN drama from 1964 that is actually quite bold.
Posted by bk @ 04/10/2003 10:35 PM PST

I saw Tovah Feldshuh's one woman show, "Tovah: Out of Her Mind." I know I enjoyed it, but the only specific thing I can remember about it is that I recognized Tony Walton in the audience.
Posted by Sigerson Holmes @ 04/10/2003 11:24 PM PST

Thank you, Mommy. May I have some orange juice please?
Do they really have a little pink electric chair for girls?
Posted by Rhoda @ 04/11/2003 03:25 AM PST

Dalt's claims to be an eating establishment, Ron. To me it's just someplace on the other side of the parking lot.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/11/2003 03:26 AM PST

Aaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Guy Who Fell Asleep on Excelsior and Burned to a Crisp @ 04/11/2003 03:45 AM PST

What is the song that Rhoda plays on the piano?
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/11/2003 06:08 AM PST

Click on my name please, and tell me what the ding dong deal this thing is...
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/11/2003 06:33 AM PST

Bruce,
I think you may have misunderstood. Among my friends, "take the piss" simply means to gently tease someone. Perhaps it means something else where you live? It's probably one of those expressions that has different meanings, depending on your geography.
Even when I do tease, you must know that I do it with the utmost love and respect. ;-)
Posted by Dave @ 04/11/2003 06:52 AM PST

Jrand: Well, well, well. Since the complete synopsis is "COMING SOON,", it's difficult to tell just what this thing's ding-dong deal is. Drowning victims? Victims of shark attack? Musicalized?
Who knows, maybe the creators are geniuses. Perhaps it will be a smash and kick off a trend. Ya never know.
Posted by Jrand @ 04/11/2003 07:06 AM PST

Whoops. That last post was from me. Guess I've got Jrand on the brain.
Posted by Lulu @ 04/11/2003 07:06 AM PST

Irritating isn't it?
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/11/2003 07:20 AM PST

Yeah, I shouldn't complain; you've got it much worse than I! ;)
Posted by Lulu @ 04/11/2003 07:24 AM PST

I am Joe's Brain...remember all those things in the Reader's Digest? Bleh!
Posted by Jrand52 @ 04/11/2003 08:14 AM PST

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