haines his way

06/04/2003:
"ON BEING TODAY"

Well, dear readers, I am writing these here notes “on location” from the airplane, heading home to Los Angeles, California, from whence I came. I have dined on something called a cheese omelet (well, it was yellow and had something approximating cheese in it), and I have done a bit of writing as well. However, next to me is one of those nightmare passengers – an obnoxious butt cheek who thinks he owns the entire row of seats (well, there are only two seats – I upgraded to first class using mileage). He was asleep before the plane took off, with his carry-on bag on the floor between his seat and mine. The steward tried to rouse him, first to put his seatback up and second to put his bag under the seat (it never did go all the way under the seat). It was like trying to raise the dead. They poked him, then they prodded him, finally they hit him and he woke up, moved his seatback up, then, the second time, put his bag in front of the seat in front of him but not under it. Then, within four seconds, he was snoring up a storm. He has earphones on, connected to a CD player, and from what I can glean he is listening to some kind of Yogi/yoga thing. Well, not listening, because he is sleeping and snoring so what the point of the fershluganah earphones and CD player Yogi/yoga thing is is beyond me. By mid-flight, this buffoon was lying across the center divider with his big ugly had practically in my lap, snoring, but more like grunting – he sounded like some buffalo in heat. I called the steward over and asked nicely if he could do anything to get this marabou out of my face. He smiled at me (the steward) and shoved this guy really hard and told him to move and sit like a normal person. The guy moved but I don’t think he understood that he was being a cretin. I would have told him but he has his earphones on and only hears the Yogi/yoga thing. Within four seconds he was blissfully snoring/grunting again, like a hyena in winter.
Then there is the elderly Jewish couple sitting in the row ahead on the other side. She was on her cell phone (there is something so wrong about an elderly Jewish woman using a cell phone) a good ten minutes after they’d asked everyone to shut off their electronic devices, talking to her friend Rose. I know she was talking to her friend Rose because she was talking very loudly to her friend Rose. I would venture to say that the entire first class cabin and coach knew she was talking to her friend Rose, that’s how loud she was talking. We heard all about the party she’d gone to (her litany of Jewish names of people in attendance was actually hilarious), then she talked about shabbas and upcoming meals and events, and all with that slightly superior attitude that some Jews have (some Catholics, Protestants, Mormons and Buddhists also have it, and I don’t like it one bit).
At this time we’re probably still an hour away from Los Angeles, but soon I will be on my way to my home environment and I will spend the rest of the day relaxing on my couch like so much fish.
So, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, and by the time we get to the next section it will be tomorrow (or today).

Well, here it is, today. What a splendidly splendid trip it was – meeting all sorts of dear reader Hainsies/Kimlets, working with my favorite singers, making wonderful music and eating excellent food at Joe Allen. At the studio, there were several amusing tales told of former business associates of mine by the engineer I was working with. Oh, how we laughed. We laughed and laughed and then we laughed some more.
Has anyone noticed that it’s today? It’s very confusing because of writing the first section’s notes yesterday even though they were for today. And now I’m writing the second section’s notes today for today. Perhaps I should be writing them for yesterday – tit for tat, you know.
Oh, those tales were most amusing. We laughed and laughed. And then, we laughed some more.
I’m thinking of doing an impromptu live chat, either tonight or tomorrow night at six o’clock Pacific Mean Time. Which works better for the majority of dear readers? Let me know early and then I’ll post when it will be.
By the way (BTW, in Internet lingo), I forgot to mention that after all the rain we had an absolutely gorgeous Monday in New York – blue skies and warm.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must go hither and thither and catch up on things for after all, it’s today and what better day than today to catch up on things? Today’s topic of discussion: After a two-week hiatus, it’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask your excellent questions. I may not be able to get to them until the weekend, but answer them I will, so ask away, and feel free to discuss any other topics you wish to.

Replies: 52 Unseemly Comments

So, BK: Just how did you know that we all are?
Good Morning!
Good Afternoon!
Good Day!
Posted by Jose C. Simbulan @ 06/04/2003 09:44 AM PST

Bruce, do you like karaoke? Have you ever sung in a karaoke bar? Have you ever sung karaoke in another setting, someone's home, perhaps? What, in general, do you think of karaoke? Well, those are my first questions.
Welcome back to the West Coast and I'm glad everything went well with the recording. Can't wait for it to be available!
Posted by George @ 06/04/2003 09:47 AM PST

2nd & 3rd posts!
Posted by George @ 06/04/2003 09:48 AM PST

My question for BK - as Jose is obviously not going to spill the beans - just what are we all???
Posted by Allan @ 06/04/2003 09:56 AM PST

One reason I post here only occasionally is because I am NOT one.
Posted by OM Time @ 06/04/2003 09:59 AM PST

Joining DR George in anticipation of the said CD.
An inpromptu chat would be so lovely if I were not going to be viewing the LAST ever rehearsal of this particular SOUTH PACIFIC.
ASK BK day...hurray!
All of 'The Judy Garland Show' shows are now available on DVD. Do you own them, or have you seen them? Do you have a
favorite episode or segment of this CBS production from the 1963-64 season?
And - in a related story - which performer do you think made the most glorious "guest" appearances on the many and varied variety shows of the 1960's. Not someone who had his/her own show, but appeared with some regularity on the shows of others....
Posted by Jrand52 @ 06/04/2003 10:37 AM PST

That's "iMpromptu"! How unseemly.
Oh and DR Lulu - I just won a copy of the video TWIST ALL NIGHT featuring Mr Louis Prima and that Macumba Love gal June Wilkinson! What a double feature it will be!
Posted by Jrand52 @ 06/04/2003 10:39 AM PST

Okay here is my QUESTION.
I asked this yesterday but did not see a response. I'd like to hear more about the cd you recorded. What is it called, when is it coming out? Where can we get it?
Btw, did anybody see American Juniors last night? Some of those moms were very SCARY!!!!
Jennifer
Posted by Jennifer @ 06/04/2003 10:40 AM PST

Dear BK --
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
Posted by Laura @ 06/04/2003 10:44 AM PST

Jennifer - I did not see it, but
I'm guessing that those moms
merely needed some
chocolate-covered bacon.
Posted by Jed @ 06/04/2003 10:45 AM PST

OMG, BK...usually I smile when I read your notes, but today's had me laughing out loud with your descriptions of your flightmates. Most unseemly, especially considering the fact that I'm at work. And we all know suppression of laughter makes you laugh all the more, so I was fit to be tied by the time I clicked on the unseemly button.
Jrand: I am burning and itching with jealousy over your eBay (I assume) win - so much so that I yearn for soothing relief in the form of some sort of over-the-counter ointment.
Will there be an Ask Jennifer Day? Because if so, I want to know what the Sam Hill American Juniors is.
Tonight or tomorrow night is good for me, impromptu chat-wise. My problem usually isn't scheduling - it's remembering the darn things.
Posted by Lulu @ 06/04/2003 10:46 AM PST

Oh yes, chat! I do believe that
either night would be just Fine
and Dandy (oh, a Kritzerland
reference!) for me. As long as
I don't pull a Lulu and forget
the fershluganah thing!
Posted by Jed @ 06/04/2003 10:48 AM PST

American juniors is by the same people who did American Idol. It's on Fox (i guess every tuesday) from 8-9pm (premiere was last night).
It is the same concept as American Idol, but with juniors (8-13 i think). They are trying to create some sort of 5 person band.
Anyhow on last night's show they had the auditions and a few of the stageparents were unreal. One woman in particular was featured prominently and she totally lost it. She was cursing and obnoxious. Her poor daughter.
The overall show, while starting out slowly was actually sort of cute. There were a couple of older children who were quite amazing. I really liked the blonde twins (who actually both made it). They were beautiful and sang so naturally and when asked to dance they did great gymnastics.
Posted by Jennifer @ 06/04/2003 11:07 AM PST

It's raining again in NYC. BK you headed home just in time (A Judy Kuhn reference).
American Juniors is the child's version of American Idols. It's not to be confused with the senior citizen version (I'm not sure of the name) on NBC Sundays.
Neither night is great for me for chat but I'll try to put in an appearance at some point. I assume that there will not be a chat on Sunday because of the Tonys. Since they are broadcast three hours later on the West Coast let's not have any of us on the East Coast spoil it for those of you on the West Coast by commenting on this here sites on the show or announcing the winners until after the broadcast is over on both coasts (or do you want to know before you watch it?).
For Ask BK Day...
Nothing against Joe Allen's, but do you ever dine anywhere else in NYC? If I were visiting another city I'd try a different restaurant each night. Are there any other restaurants in NYC that you like?
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 06/04/2003 11:16 AM PST

WEL, how about Delmonico's? I've heard good things about that place.
:)
Posted by Lulu @ 06/04/2003 11:21 AM PST

WEL - Good point about
Sunday. I'm sure many of us
West Coast types would
appreciate not having any Tony
spoilers here. Just in case, I
probably won't be checking in
from the time they start back
east until they're over out here,
but a spoiler-free zone sounds
like a good call.
Posted by Jed @ 06/04/2003 11:24 AM PST

Either Tonight (a West Side Story reference) or Tomorrow Night (a Yentl reference) would be fine with me for a quasi-impromptu chat. I would also request a Tony spoiler-free zone on Sunday (a Sunday In the Park With George reference) in deference to us on the West Coast.
Posted by George @ 06/04/2003 11:33 AM PST

I heartily recommend the Harmonia Gardens Restaurant on 14th Street.
The waiters are divine.
Posted by Dolly Gallagher Levi @ 06/04/2003 11:46 AM PST

Lulu - instead of an over the counter remedy - I would suggest you just twist, twist, twist...all niiiiiiiiiight!!!!
What's that you say? Hey, don't knock the twist. We want to twist around the clock.
You can keep the waltz, you can keep the stroll....by god!...we are gonna twist all night.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 06/04/2003 11:49 AM PST

But will we twist again...like we did last summer? Twist again, like we did last year?
Posted by Lulu @ 06/04/2003 11:54 AM PST

Greetings, fellow Hainsies and Kimlets. I have been away on an extended trip with very limited access to a computer, so I fear I have been guilty of being errant and truant.
Some of my trip was spent in New York and I did get to the theater twice. I saw GYPSY and TAKE ME OUT.
I thought GYPSY was OK. Not bad, but not great either. Miss Peters was still coughing through the night, and did not have the energy that the role of Rose deserves. I saw the understudy Louise, who was very good in the Louise scenes, and terribly underpowered in the Gypsy Rose Lee scenes, I am sorry to report. The production and direction were good. The "Gotta Get a Gimmick" number with the three strippers brought down the house.
I enjoyed TAKE ME OUT a great deal. I admired the way the play operated on numerous levels quite effectively, and thought the writing strong. Denis O'Hare was nothing short of magnificent, and the performances from everyone else in the cast were quite good. I am sorry to report that the house was only about 2/3 full.
Being a good Hainsie/Kimlet, I did stop in Joe Allen's for a drink. (My schedule did not permit a meal there.)
Which leads me to my ask BK Day question: Have you ever been to a restaurant that you know you have never been to before, but at some point over the course of your meal you realize you have been in that same physical space before, when it was something else?
(Can you tell I had this experience last week? My Dad took me to a place called Le Rivage, and I started to experience some deja vu, though I know I had not eaten there before. Sure enough, I queried the maitre d', who told me that the place used to be called Great Aunt Fanny some twenty odd years before, a place at which I dined with some frequency when I lived in New York.)
Posted by Jay @ 06/04/2003 11:55 AM PST

After the Harmonia Gardens, I'd like to welcome you to the Diamond Horseshoe. I'd be so glad if you dropped in.
Posted by Billy Rose @ 06/04/2003 11:56 AM PST

I have been waiting and waiting for an ask BK day ever since my first day on HHW...and now it is here...but I forgot what I wanted to ask. So I will use an old standby...Bruce, when you were acting on television and film in the 70s who was your favorite performer to work with, and your least favorite performer to work with?
PS: I got many laughs from the description of your airplane flight description.
Posted by MBarnum @ 06/04/2003 12:39 PM PST

There's only one speak in New York worth visiting....ask any big butter and egg man.
Hello, suckers!
Posted by Texas Guinan @ 06/04/2003 12:47 PM PST

We will twist exactly like we did last year, Lulu.
The twist never changes - it never changes and it never dies. Oh, an All About Eve reference.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 06/04/2003 12:49 PM PST

OY! What A Challenging Morning, OY! What A Challenging Day..
So here's the update.. this morning I woke up and turned on my computer and started to do some work on a new website. About 5 minutes into my work, the system shut it self down and would not get back up. It was clearly a hardware issue, not software - as the computer simply wouldn't turn on. So.. I called the guy that built my custom system.. who is GREAT.. and after talking about what was happening and what wasn't, he concluded what I suspected - which was that the power supply had died. It's under warranty - but since he is in Nebraska and I am in NYC, I wouldn't be seeing a power supply for at least 2 days...something I just could not have since I need to get work done...sooooo I headed over to Comp USA and purchased a new one and came back and installed it. I'm pretty proud of myself since I had never done that before - and it was a little daunting having like 14 different connection and knowing that a wrong one could fry the inside of my computer.. but hooray - taking it one step at a time I was able to do it in about 20 minutes and now my system sings again. Right now it's singing You Can't Stop the Beat!
Whilst in the city.. I had lunch with our very own Donna Lynne Champlin who is on her way next week to Goodspeed to do a show. And then on my subway back who should I run into?
Can't guess?
Why, our very own Danny Burstein! Quite funny - since I haven't seen him in about 10 years - we were both kinda looking at each other and finally I said "Danny?" and he said "yea?" and we had a good laugh over the fact that we both knew we knew each other, but what were the odds in this random encounter.
So we chatted for a few stops about mutual friends and about the recent recording session that his lovely wife, Rebecca Luker just did for Bruce.
In a city of 8 million people... you just never know who you will run into... LOL
Now I wait to hear about this job...
More later
Posted by Craig @ 06/04/2003 12:55 PM PST

That's not what I heard, Jrand. I heard we got a new dance, and it goes like this: bop shoo bop bop de bop shoo bop yeah, the name of the dance is the peppermint twist.
You go 'round and 'round and up and down. 'Round and 'round and up and down. 'Round and 'round and up and down and 1-2-3 kick! 1-2-3 go!
That's the word on the street, anyway.
Posted by Lulu @ 06/04/2003 12:56 PM PST

Hmmmmmmm....maybe I will be up all night learning this new twist thing....
Get me Dulcie at Dulcie's Fashions - because the new twist fashions will be all the rage. There will not be a yard of fringe to be found in the entire city!
Actually, I knew the Twist was dead when one Sunday evening on What's My Line Arlene Francis and Bennett Cerf bragged about trying it at the Peppermint Lounge.
Posted by Jrand52 @ 06/04/2003 01:07 PM PST

I think the chat shall be tomorrow night at six Pacific Mean Daylight Savings Time.
Excellent posts thus far.
Posted by bk @ 06/04/2003 01:13 PM PST

Bennett Cerf doing the Twist. Truly, the mind boggles.
Posted by Lulu @ 06/04/2003 01:37 PM PST

Sorry Lulu: Wrong guess right gender. It was KT who found the "Road to P" a yawn.
Posted by Tom from Oz @ 06/04/2003 02:26 PM PST

BK's comments on the airplane passengers made me howl with laughter. Many of us have been there (well, not in first class but trapped with obnoxious people around us on a plane).
For Ask BK Day: You've had some truly talented and special people on CDs you've produced. If you could pick one currently living personality whom you've never worked with to be on a CD of yours, who would it be?
Posted by Matt H. @ 06/04/2003 02:31 PM PST

I have been going through the pictures I took at the recording sessions and deciding which ones to keep and which ones to pass on. DR Jason even manages to get his own solo picture as his face is partially obsecurred (like certain seats at Carnegie Hall) in the group chorus shot. I have the basic page laid out about the recording session and should be up later this evening I hope becaus I am sure everyone wants to see what happened on those two magical days.
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 06/04/2003 03:49 PM PST

DR Laura:
The best thing BEFORE sliced bread, as everyone knows, is chopped liver!!
Posted by KT @ 06/04/2003 03:50 PM PST

Right you are, DR Tom From Oz: 'Twas I who blasted Road To P--tedious, long-winded and self-indulgent, in love with itself, extremely unredeemable and unpalatable characters, wooden cadaverous acting, ghastly make-up. Sheer torture. Other than that, I guess it was OK.
Posted by KT @ 06/04/2003 04:00 PM PST

Click on my name and you will see that "Little Shop" may not be dead yet - but the current cast may not be returning in the future incarnations...
Posted by Craig @ 06/04/2003 04:15 PM PST

OK...maybe I'm being really dense, but how do I get my own solo picture if my face is halfway covered up? I'm confused...
Posted by Jason @ 06/04/2003 05:28 PM PST

Where does one go to see Michael Shayne's photos?
Posted by TCB @ 06/04/2003 06:02 PM PST

One goes to Mr. Shayne's tribute website that he did for ME - www.brucekimmel.com. Once there, one can find out all about ME. It's probably the best fan site ever done.
Posted by bk @ 06/04/2003 06:38 PM PST

DR Michael Shayne: Please, please forward any shots you have to Richard Valley. Issue #49 of Scarlet Street will be devoting at least a four page spread to the recording of JEEPERS CREEPERS.
Now, my questions for BK:
IF and when a follow-up recording is done, will "The Piper Dreams" be on it? Who would you have sing it?
(I'll let other Dear Readers figure out for themselves what "The Piper Dreams" is; with a little clue, it does appear on ONE Varese Sarabande recording sung by its lyricist).
Posted by td @ 06/04/2003 06:51 PM PST

I'm up to my third mention of chocolate donuts from the Helm's Bakery truck. When will this stop? Bruce, couldn't your favorite donut have been different from mine? I'm going to dream about those tonight. Gosh I miss the Helm's truck and its contents. The ice cream trucks didn't hold a candle to the Helm's truck.
Posted by Jane @ 06/04/2003 07:49 PM PST

If you are curious what went on at the recording studio click on this link
http://www.brucekimmel.com/jeeperscreepersrecording.html
Posted by Michael Shayne @ 06/04/2003 09:06 PM PST

Michael, thanks for the link to to photos-enjoyed them very much.
Posted by Jane @ 06/04/2003 09:42 PM PST

Ok... this is a late question, but it's easy. BK - on one of the Unsung Musicals CD there was a song called "The Vamp", what show is it from and where can one begin to look for the sheet music?
...whew... I hope I made it
Posted by Matthew @ 06/04/2003 10:31 PM PST

Thank you for your good vibes, folks. It worked. One other-person's-problem solved today. I am doing the happy dance tonight.
Posted by Laura @ 06/04/2003 11:20 PM PST

Dear BK --
Sandra and I are going to visit NYC for the first time with my sister. Any suggestions of what we should see? We will have the opportunity to see one or maybe two shows.
Posted by Laura @ 06/04/2003 11:39 PM PST

Laura - Not sure what BK will
suggest, but for my first trip to
NYC (only 3 weeks away!), my
very own mother and I will be
seeing Hairspray, Gypsy, and
Urinetown. Quite excited!!!
Posted by Jed @ 06/05/2003 12:10 AM PST

Great studio pics! It looks like everybody had a great time.
Am I the only one who's noticed that Bruce and Guy wore identical shirts to the recording?? How cute! Did you guys call each other up the night before to arrange it?
How adorable is Remy? I must confess I'd never heard of her before. What has she been in?
Posted by Lulu @ 06/05/2003 04:57 AM PST

What wonderful pictures, Michael! Thanks for posting them on the best BK Website Ever!
Posted by Jrand52 @ 06/05/2003 05:35 AM PST

The pictures are great but there is one tiny error. The unused title song from "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" has been recorded by none other than Bette Davis herself. It's on an album she made in the mid-70s called "Bette Davis Sings" and shows why in her entire film career she only appeared in one musical. I got mine in Toronto but I have never seen it in the United States and as far as I know it has never been released on CD. Since mine is on LP I'm sorry I can't make copies for any Hainsies and Kimlets.
Posted by William E. Lurie @ 06/05/2003 06:16 AM PST

Those are some swell pictures, Michael Shayne. It took about a half hour for the page to load, though.
Very nice Haines-esque pic, Jason. Guy would be proud!
Posted by Laura @ 06/05/2003 07:43 AM PST

I was go engrossed in Kritzerland last night I couldn't go to sleep until I had finished it. I woke up thinking about the book and those "wonderful" (how do you indicate sarcasm on line?) junior high years
Posted by Jane @ 06/05/2003 08:19 AM PST

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