December 10, 2003:
"EVELYN WOOD"
 
Well, dear readers, things are hectic, hectic, hectic (that is three hectics) and I must not tarry or dally because the pressure is on, the race is on, they’re off and running and where she stops nobody knows. I’m inundated with footage and trying to be concise and get this fershluganah show to time. The good news is that it looks terrific, moves right along and my pal David seems very happy with it. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
I see now I should have taken Evelyn Wood’s speed writing course. Or was that Evelyn Wood’s speed reading course? And just who was Evelyn Wood anyway and why was she teaching speed reading or writing? Did she teach other speed things? Was Evelyn Wood all about speed. Did she also teach Evelyn Wood’s Slow Reading and/or Writing Classes? I’m thinking of teaching a speed writing course so I can follow in the footsteps of Evelyn Wood. I mean, I am really speed writing as I write this. There is actually smoke coming from the keyboard. I am whizzing about the keys like a BK possessed and all because of Evelyn Wood, whoever the hell she is or was.
Wait a darned minute – I don’t have time to be going on about Evelyn Wood and her fershluganah courses in whatnot – I’m hectic and must not tarry or dally so why don’t we all use the Evelyn Wood Speed Course in Clicking on the Unseemly Button below.
Speed, man, that’s what today’s notes are all about. Evelyn Wood would be proud of me, Woodn’t she? Certainly I’m proud of Evelyn Wood. Was Evelyn Wood related to Evelyn Nesbitt? Was Evelyn Nesbitt related to Catherine Nesbitt? Was Cathleen Nesbitt related to I'll take you home, Kathleen? What the hell am I talking about? This is what happens when you use the Evelyn Wood Speed Writing Course. I suggest you all read these here notes using the Evelyn Wood Speed Reading Course so that you can do some Evelyn Wood Speed Posting because, frankly, we haven’t broken two hundred posts in four count them four days.
Wait a mo - hold the phone - stop the world - by gum and by golly, we've got another birthday to celebrate! So, quick, speed and put on your pointy party hats and your colored tights and pantaloons, break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks and let's dance the hora and the swim, for today is MBarnum's birthday. Let's give a big haineshisway.com cheer, shall we? On the count of three or the duke of twelve: One, two, three - A BIG BIRTHDAY CHEER TO MBARNUM!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must work all the livelong day, I must use the Evelyn Wood Speed Editing Course to get my show to time, I must have more birthday cake and eat it, too, I must have many Diet Cokes, in short, I must get crackin’. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day and also Ask Dear Reader Day, so ask any excellent questions you might have of me and I shall answer them using the Evelyn Wood Speed Answering Course.
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