Today I am meeting up with Guy Haines who will be recording vocals for most of the Kritzerland CD. When we finish today there will be two songs left to do and we’re hoping to do them within the next two weeks and then get this fershluganah CD out to those who bought their copy of Kritzerland here at haineshisway.com. I’m determined that we will do the Kritzer Time CD way in advance so that I have them in hand to ship with the book come next April (or perhaps sooner, I haven’t worked out the exact publication date yet). I am not printing up a huge quantity of Kritzerland CDs – I’m basically printing up enough to cover the orders I’ve had, so if you haven’t ordered the book and are intending to, the next couple of weeks would probably be a good time.

Last night I watched Mr. Howard Hawks’ version of Scarface, which is quite a good little film, featuring quite a good performance from Mr. Paul Muni. It’s interesting to note how much Oliver Stone kept from the original. This DVD is only available as part of the gift box set, the big black case version which is quite spiffy if I do say so myself which I do. I also began watching the divoonly strang Macao, a film sort-of directed by Josef von Sternberg (his footage is umistakable). Mr. von Sternberg apparently got along with no one and was replaced by Mr. Nicholas Ray. It’s short, it’s got great things in it and how can you fail when you’ve got Robert Mitchum, Jane Russell, William Bendix, Thomas Gomez and Gloria Grahame. You can’t. Especially when Miss Russell croons One for my Baby. There are also a couple of Jule Styne songs hovering around.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because soon I must go to record those pesky vocals.

- Tuesday, September 30, 2003 @ 08:46 AM PST

Monday, September 29, 2003

It is Monday, my first day of non-work in ten weeks. However, I shall be proofing, carefully proofing, all the livelong day, so that is indeed work or, to put it another way, that is work indeed. I also need to catch up on a few things that I got backlogged on during my working weeks.

Yesterday, I checked out the new Warner Bros. DVDs. The Adventures of Robin Hood, while not perfect, does look rather nice and better than I’d thought on my first look. The Treasure of Sierra Madre looks very nice, although according to some who’ve posted on a DVD ng, there is a digital glitch for eleven seconds towards the one-hour mark. Yankee Doodle Dandy also looks lovely and I’m looking forward to watching all of them in their entirety. Each of these sets includes a second disc loaded with extras, too.

If you missed any of the goings on here over the weekend I’d really play catch up if I were you, and I’d also play ketchup if I were you. Those who were here made lovely posts, and while I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed in our traffic over the weekend, what did go one here was cherce. So, use the Unseemly Archive Button and check out what you missed.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’ve got a few other things to write about and I don’t wish to write them here. I have no idea why.

- Monday, September 29, 2003 @ 08:31 AM PST

Sunday, September 28, 2003

Last night I ran some bits of some new DVDs, including The Adventures of Robin Hood which, I must say, did not look as good as I’d hoped. It’s a bit soft but maybe that’s just the way it is with that film. I’d remembered the last laserdisc edition being much better, so I put that on, but while it may have been great for its day, the laser transfer is equally soft and the color is so pumped up that it bleeds all over the TV screen. I’ll watch the rest, though, and maybe it gets better as it goes along. I then watched some of Scrooge, a movie I’ve always been very fond of. It is, of course, now treated as if it’s some kind of classic, but I remind that upon its release it was an unmitigated disaster – poorly reviewed and a total flop at the box-office. Only in the last decade has it done this turn-around, probably from its cable and TV showings, and now practically everyone perceives it as a classic. This has happened with two other films that I loved when I saw them originally, but that were reviled by reviewers and public – Marnie and Once Upon a Time in the West. Even people who decried the latter when they came out have suddenly forgotten they decried the latter and have now decreed them classics. I hate when those that have decried have decreed, don’t you? Why don’t those who have decreed decried? Just for a change of pace? In any case, Scrooge was wonderful then and it’s wonderful now and the transfer is excellent. However, be prepared – the film was shot with heavy filters and has a very filtered look to it, but the transfer replicates that look perfectly.

I then watched Mr. Al Pacino in Mr. Brian de Palma’s Scarface. I haven’t seen it since its original release. I did not love it then and I do not love it now, although it is so over-the-top and kooky that it’s somehow fun to watch. The transfer, to my mind, seems a bit soft, while I have no memory of the film being soft at all, especially as shot by Mr. John Alonzo. There are quite a number of extras on a second disc and I watched all those, too.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below so we can see if there’s any invigorating whatnot awaiting.

- Sunday, September 28, 2003 @ 09:40 AM PST

Saturday, September 27, 2003

I arrived this morning (yesterday morning) to find that someone had brought in Krispy Kreme donuts. I had one – it had chocolate icing on top and nuts on top and some kind of chocolate cream inside and it was totally disgusting. I then spoke to the writer of our show who was totally shocked to find out this was my last day. He was, in fact, bowled over by the news as he feels that I am the glue that has made the show good this season. I decided to have lunch with my main editor and the beautiful gal I share an office with. We went to P.F. Chang’s. Actually, we haven’t “went” yet, we’re about to go. When I return I will tell you what we ate today, or yesterday. Today/yesterday I ate some almond and cashew chicken that was not very wonderful. I had some rice, too. And my very close personal friend, Mr. David Wechter, came along with us. So far, no one has said anything to me about anything, although our post production supervisor had recently found out I’d been on The Partridge Family and wanted to know all about it. Well, I suppose when I go in to say goodbye at the end of the day (yesterday but really today) it will be interesting.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button so I can continue this dramatic recitation.

- Saturday, September 27, 2003 @ 09:02 AM PST

Friday, September 26, 2003

I will look forward to a few weeks of just being able to edit and proof the book and to relax a bit, but then it will be fun to get back to work if I indeed am offered the David job.

I will be picking up the new DVD of Scrooge, with Albert Finney. I mean, I won’t be picking up the DVD with Albert Finney – I don’t know Albert Finney, but I will be picking up the DVD in which Mr. Finney stars. I like Scrooge and haven’t seen it in years and I hear that the transfer is most excellent.

Last night we had an impromptu Hainsies/Kimlets gathering here in Los Angeles, California. I joined dear readers Jay, Jose and MusicGuy at Musso and Frank, the historic Hollywood dinery. What a splendid time was had by one and all and also all and one. After we’d had our lovely appetizer of shrimp cocktail we were joined by our very own Nick Redman and his chum Julie. We had so much fun and ate until the cows come home. MusicGuy and I or MusicGuy and me had the Combination Louis, Jose had the Pounded Steak with Country Gravy, Jay had the liver and onions, and Nick and Julie sat there like so much, just offering good and fun conversation. Even though I swore I wouldn’t have dessert I had dessert, the bread pudding. Jay and MusicGuy had rice pudding, and Jose had the tortten. Nick and Julie sat there like so much fish, although I think Julie tasted the rice pudding. Now, I’m not quite certain if what happened next was coincidental or because someone had read these here notes, but a nice fellow stopped at our table and said he was a lurker and had come to try the Pounded Steak because of having read about it here ad nauseum. Perhaps he’ll post and tell us. Nick and Julie had to leave, but the rest of us stayed for another forty minutes and laughed and laughed whilst being stuffed to the gills.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I must hie myself to the Oaks of Sherman where I will work all the livelong day and then be done with this particular job on this particular Freaky Friday.

- Friday, September 26, 2003 @ 07:09 AM PST

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Tonight we are having an impromptu LA gathering of Hainsies/Kimlets at Musso and Frank. If you are attending you need to let me know asap so I can make a reservation. I will, of course, have a full report for you tomorrow.

Last night I did the first half of my Partridge Family interview – I believe I was quite long-winded, but very frank and told lots of tales, oh, yes, I told lots of tales. I also began watching the new DVD of Once Upon a Time in the West and all I can tell you is the transfer is stunning and it’s a must-have for anyone who loves cinema. Lots of extras on the second disc including three excellent documentaries (really it’s one documentary split into three parts for some reason that makes no sense to me). I’m in Sergio Leone heaven, that’s all I can tell you. This film was mostly panned on its release and pretty much ignored by audiences. I was living in Flatbush in 1969 when it was released and I was making ends meet by working as an usher at the Albermarle Theater. I saw this movie repeatedly when it played there and I'm happy to tell you that I was one of the few who thought it was faboo right off the bat. Others have come around over the years but back then we few were like voices in the wilderness.

Well, I’m quite late this morning so why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’ve got to get crackin’.

- Thursday, September 25, 2003 @ 07:36 AM PST

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Last night I watched a motion picture entertainment entitled A Mighty Wind. What follows is my opinion, so if you love the film that’s wonderful and if you don’t that’s also wonderful. I like Christopher Guest and I enjoyed Waiting for Guffman and I enjoyed Best in Show even a little more. But A Mighty Wind failed for me – oh, it had funny moments and its satire was pretty good, but unlike the other two films I didn’t care a whit about anyone in this film, and therefore I had no emotional investment in anything. That would have been fine if there were so many laughs that I would have forgotten about it. But, for me, there weren’t. The cast was terrific and so were the folk parodies although, that said, the folk parodies don't really go anywhere. But Mr. Guest creates a strange universe – he wants it to be a mockumentary (I think he wants it to be a mockumentary), but it violates those rules at every turn. It’s part mockumentary, it’s part fiction film and the two work against each other because the lines are not clearly divided. There’s absolutely no dramatic tension in the film – again, if it were funny enough it wouldn’t matter, but when a film isn’t being funny it has to be something. As far out as Guffman and Best in Show are, to me the lines are more clearly drawn and there is something to hang onto in those films. Plus, they’re funnier. Here I felt that the Bob Balaban character was so unremittingly stupid that it just totally took me out of the film (I speak specifically of the scenes at the theater). It’s clear that most of the film is improvised and some of it is very labored – you can see the effort, which was not the case with Guffman or Best in Show. It’s not terrible by any means, but for me it’s definitely a step down from Mr. Guest’s previous work.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I must begin the long, long drive to Torrance in hideous rush hour traffic.

- Wednesday, September 24, 2003 @ 07:24 AM PST

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

There are two count them two incredible CD releases from Collectors – two I didn’t even know were coming. They’re both Stan Kenton two-fers from the sixties, and they’re absolute knockouts. One of them came out to coincide with the film release of Finian’s Rainbow, and it features five or six songs from it along with other movie themes. The companion to it is a mix of standards and film themes. The other two-fer features a lot of original music. Stan Kenton’s Capitol stereo albums are some of the best recorded albums ever made. They have amazing and stunningly clean stereo sound and I cannot recommend these Collectors’ remasterings highly enough. And, if you don’t have Mr. Kenton’s West Side Story album, bitch-slap yourself from here to eternity and go out and get it immediately. As the flappers used to say, “It’s a corker.”

By the way (BTW, in Internet lingo) it is Tuesday. If it’s Tuesday it must be Belgium, as the pundits used to say. Whatever happened to the pundits? I wonder if we could create a group today to revival the Algonquin group? I wonder if we could have pundits and wags and wits today? I’d like to think so, but I simply don’t know if the world would even understand such things as pundits, wags and wits. What if we had a group of witches along with the wags – then we could call it “From Wags to Witches”. We don’t allow groaning here at haineshisway.com. I, for one, always strive to be a pundit a wag and a wit, not necessarily in that order. Sometimes it’s better to be a wit a wag and a pundit, not necessarily in that order. What the hell am I talking about? Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, as the pundits wags and wits used to say?

- Tuesday, September 23, 2003 @ 07:53 AM PST

Monday, September 22, 2003

Well, I promised you the title of Kritzer three and by gum and by golly and by Jeeves I shall give it to you. Then we shall never have to call it Kritzer three again. The second book, Kritzerland, went through two other titles that I didn’t care for before I hit on Kritzerland. Once I’d hit on that title it seemed perfect and then it just fit itself into the book quite smoothly, even though I didn’t really know how I was going to tie it in when I’d first thought of it. But, when something is right, it’s right. When I started thinking about Kritzer three, I had no clue what to call it, other than I thought Kritzer would have to appear in the title somewhere. As I as making notes for the things I wanted to touch on in the book, I tried to see if anything came to me, but nothing did. Two days before I started the actual writing, I was lying in bed, thinking, as I always do before sleep sets in. And the title just came to right then and there – I wrote it on the pad next to my bed and then went to sleep. When I saw it in the morning I knew it was the one – it just felt so right to me. I went back and forth about whether it should be one word or two, and I settled on two because I liked the way it looked and it just seemed better. After that decision I never once had an insecure moment about the title. And, in fact, when I went back and looked at my notes, I saw immediately how the title would fold itself into the book and be as important to this book as Kritzerland was to that book. And so, dear readers, the title of the new book is Kritzer Time. Simple, and when you read the book I think you will agree that there could be no better title for it. So, from now on we can refer to the book by its proper title – Kritzer Time.

Last night I watched a new DVD of a film entitled The Bedford Incident. I hadn’t seen it before, I only knew it was supposed to be very suspenseful. Well, it’s not quite that, but it does have good performances by Richard Widmark, Sidney Poitier, Eric Portman, Michael Kane, Wally Cox (yes, Virginia, Wally Cox), James MacArthur, Martin Balsam and, in a very small role, Donald Sutherland. It was directed by Mr. Stanley Kubrick’s former partner, Mr. James B. Harris. Mr. Harris is not Mr. Kubrick however. Still, the last twenty minutes are quite good and the ending is a bit of a shocker. Very nice transfer, too, with a good musical score by Gerard Schurmann. Next up is A Mighty Wind.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button because I must hie myself to the Oaks of Sherman where I must work all the livelong day, don’t you know?

- Monday, September 22, 2003 @ 07:54 AM PST

Sunday, September 21, 2003

Yesterday I picked up some brand spanking new DVDs, including In Cold Blood, The Bedford Incident, the two Babe movies (Babe and Babe in the City) and A Mighty Wind. I watched In Cold Blood immediately and boy does it hold up for the most part. The performances of Scott Wilson and Robert Blake are incredible, the direction (and script) is taut and tense (Mr. Richard Brooks), the camerawork by Conrad Hall is spectacular as is the score by Quincy Jones. It’s interesting watching Robert Blake’s performance now, because you must remember that this was his first major starring role in a film as an adult and no one knew who he (or Scott Wilson) was. The last twenty minutes are a bit preachy, but the film still packs a considerable wallop. The transfer is a dream – one of the sharpest black-and-white scope transfers ever (enhanced for widescreen TVs) – no extras, but well worth a purchase. I also finally got around to watching Mr. Francois Truffaut’s The 400 Blows. It’s a lovely film, also in black-and-white scope with moody photography by Henri Decae. What I most like about it is its free-form lack of structure. None of this screenwriting 101 act one, act two and act three stuff. Just little bits of life that when strung together make a portrait. They don’t make these kinds of films anymore and it’s a shame. Someone will do it soon, it will be a breath of fresh air, it will succeed, and then it will become fashionable again.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because we must continue our party on the other side of these here notes, don’t you know?

- Sunday, September 21, 2003 @ 08:41 AM PST

Saturday, September 20, 2003

I’ve been having extensive conversations about this here site with our very own Mr. Mark Bakalor. It seems we have grown so popular with the populace that we must move to the next step, server-wise and size-wise. I, of course, am against any change whatsoever, but we must do this, because it is the shape of things to come. This is going to impact the site in one way and that is the way in which we post. However, we’ve had long discussions about it and I think everyone will be very happy with what we’ve come up with. Basically, the look and design and feel of the site will not change. The home page will have more menu options so you can find things more easily. The notes will appear as they always have. At the end of the notes there will be a new Unseemly Button and that will take you directly to a message board for the topic of the day. All the topics of past days will appear there, although once each day’s topic has expired you won’t be able to do additional posts. Our board will look similar to the sondheim.com boards, but with much simpler options. Basically, there will only be the current day’s topic and posts, plus special threads for whatever I think might be interesting, such as a KISS MY ASS thread – that way people who are not interested in such things don’t have to look there. Threads will only be able to be started by me, so that is definitely unlike the other board. So, it’s going to be exactly the same, with just an additional step to get you to the current day’s topic and whatever posts there are. The archive for everything prior to the change will still be available for your mental delectation. The other site functions, such as chat, the journal, interviews, book and DVD purchasing, will all remain unchanged. But, the best part of our new deal will be that the messages will be password protected. You will all receive passwords and you must have a valid e-mail address to get one. That way, our Uncouth Interlopers and the Piglets from other boards who might want to disrupt us will have a much harder time. It’s not that they won’t be able to open a hotmail account and get a password, but once they do their nasty deed I’ll not only be able to remove the post if it needs removing, I can remove them as well. That’s something we’ve never been able to do heretofore. So, the change will take place sometime in the next few weeks. The other good news is that because we’re growing upwards we will be able to now have the archives for all Donald’s radio shows. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because she of the Evil Eye will be here at any moment, along with he of the Evil Rodent.

- Saturday, September 20, 2003 @ 08:40 AM PST

Friday, September 19, 2003

I’ll also be working on Kritzer three this weekend, doing a handful of additions that I never got around to putting in. I’ve already written them, I just have to insert them wherever they belong. After that, I shall print up a copy and start doing corrections. The others that help doing that process will be getting me their corrections during the next few weeks. Those who remember this process from book two will remember that it is a daunting task and takes a lot of time – just when you think you’ve found everything, someone else finds thirty more things. And then comes the magic day when it will be all fixed and purty and then I will ship it off to the publisher, who will turn it into an actual book. My intention is to get it off to them the last week of December. I’m also looking into doing a slipcase for those who’ve bought the three books. I have no idea of the cost, but I’ve been given the name of a company that does it and I’ll be contacting them soon. Oh, dear, I’m afraid this entire paragraph and the one above have been about me. Oh, dear, oh, dear, whatever shall I do. I suppose I shall have to flog myself like Judge Turpin.

Richard Valley tells me that we should have finished discs in the next week or so, so that is exciting. If you haven’t ordered your Jeepers Creepers, now is the time to do so and do so posthaste so that Richard can haste post it to you the minute they arrive.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, because shortly I must get in my automobile known as an Infiniti and I must drive to the Oaks of Sherman where I shall work all the livelong day.

- Friday, September 19, 2003 @ 07:40 AM PST

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Last night I went to the Pacific Dome and saw the Cinerama presentation of How the West Was Won. Even when I saw this film as a wee sprig of a twig of a lad of a tad of a youth I didn’t love it. There were things in it that were wonderful and exciting, and lots that just left me cold. I still feel that way, but what a thrill to see it in its original Cinerama presentation after all these years. The Dome does have its share of problems but it’s still great no matter what. Problem one is that the screen in the Dome is not as high as the original Cinerama screen. Problem two is the screen is not as deeply curved as the original Cinerama screen, and problem three is that the screen is not louvered like the original Cinerama screen. The louvered screen was designed so that the side panels didn’t lose any light, so at the Dome the side panels are often not bright enough, although it seemed less problematic this time than it was for This is Cinerama a few months ago. But what a treat, and if you’re in Los Angeles, California, I can’t recommend a trip to the Dome highly enough. Next up in a few weeks – a special new print of It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, which was the premiere attraction when the Dome opened its doors close to thirty years ago. Mad World, of course, was not shown in three panel Cinerama, it just used its name – it was actually shot in Ultra Panavision 70, as was 2001. In fact, the Cinerama Dome never showed three panel Cinerama until earlier this year.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I must get to work, don’t you know?

- Thursday, September 18, 2003 @ 07:46 AM PST

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Tonight, after two postponements, is our Unseemly Live Chat. It will happen no matter what – and we will have a lively and sparkling chat and we will discuss many various and sundried topics and it will all be very exciting and simply too too. Be there or be round.

Yesterday, someone told me that they thought “plenty” of people didn’t read these here notes, that “plenty” of people simply skipped to the end and posted. I told them that I disagreed, that I thought maybe one or two (I could probably guess the names of the one or two because it becomes fairly obvious after awhile) at the most did such a thing, but no, they insisted that it was “plenty”. Now, is this true? Are there “plenty” of people who skip these here notes? You can say the truth because maybe I’ll just cut back on writing them. Of course, the other thing is the person who said that “plenty” of people were/are skipping the notes is wrong. Let’s have a poll – how many of you read the notes, how many of you skim the notes, and how many of you skip the notes in their entirety? You will not be bitch-slapped no matter what your answer. Well, maybe you’ll be bitch-slapped just a little, but in a friendly way with hot fudge on the top.

I finally finished watching Silk Stockings. I liked it just fine, but it never really “got” me. I do think Eugene Loring is a very unsung choreographer, and one scene was absolutely magical – the Silk Stockings ballet, performed by Cyd Charisse. The little documentary on the disc was fun, and I also watched the little documentary on the Les Girls disc.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I must hie myself to the Oaks of Sherman to work all the livelong day, oh, yes, I shall work all the livelong day, with hot fudge on top, of course.

- Wednesday, September 17, 2003 @ 07:38 AM PST

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

It is gray out today, so maybe that means it will finally be cooling off. All this incessant heat hasn't helped with the dead something-or-other. Surprisingly, despite the gray day, the singing bird is outside doing a chipper rendition of Stormy Weather.

I must keep these here notes short today because I am running late and must hie myself to the Oaks of Sherman. Once there, I shall be able to post until the cows come home.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because there is no time to waste and no waste to time. I would like to waste some of my waist, however, hence my diet.

- Tuesday, September 16, 2003 @ 07:27 AM PST

Monday, September 15, 2003

The brand new radio show is up and running – it’s Donald and I talking all about the new CD, Jeepers Creepers, and we talk about a few other things as well, so you’ll want to listen straight through to the end.

Over the weekend I watched a few DVDs. First, I watched Mr. Michael Ritchie’s film, An Almost Perfect Affair. It’s an odd little film, has some quirky humor, but really, it just doesn’t add up to much and it just sort of peters out. That said, I adore Miss Monica Vitti and Raf Vallone so they are worth the cost of the DVD. Plus, there are some very amusing cameos (the entire film was shot at the Cannes Film Festival). The male lead, Keith Carradine, is serviceable but nothing more. Lovely score by Georges Delerue. Very nice enhanced transfer which shows off the beautiful camerawork of Henri Decae.

I then watched Mr. Paddy Chayefsky’s The Hospital, starring Mr. George C. Scott and a host of good actors in support. I remember adoring the film when it came out, but while some of it is still very good, a lot of it hasn’t aged well. Still, the writing is trenchant and the acting superb. The transfer is a bit of a botch, despite being enhanced for widescreen TVs. Many shots are simply mis-framed, some too high up, some too low – there are several scenes at the beginning where the tops of heads are literally cut in half. Someone wasn’t paying attention.

I then watched Mr. John Schlesinger’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, starring Miss Glenda Jackson and Mr. Peter Finch, along with Mr. Murray Head. It, too, seems very forced today, whereas it was quite something in its day. Shoddy transfer – non-enhanced and on the brown side.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’ve got a busy few days coming up, don’t you know?

- Monday, September 15, 2003 @ 07:50 AM PST

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Wasn’t that a fine dead something story and also a fine fly story? Yesterday, we had the Zen Zone, today we have the No-Fly Zone.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because today I shall be going with my friend Grant Geissman, and we will be paying a visit to the same book fair I paid a visit to yesterday.

- Sunday, September 14, 2003 @ 08:53 AM PST

Saturday, September 13, 2003

Last night I went to my beloved Musso and Frank. I thought it might be fun for fellow scribes Panni and Pogue to meet each other. We all had a delightful time and the food was simply scrumptious. The conversation was sparkling and lively, not necessarily in that order. Julieanne and I had the Combination Louie, Charles Pogue had the Pounded Steak with Country Gravy and Panni had the Bouillabaisse. Our waiter wasn’t one of the waiters that’s been there since 1927, our waiter was new and strange as they come.

I watched another of those Studio Ghibli animated things – this one called Ocean Waves. This film was made by Ghibli’s younger animators and was originally made for Japanese television. It’s not as good as the others I’ve seen – it just sort of sits there like so much fish, but it’s very well done and I liked the music. That leaves only one before I’ve seen the entire output of Studio Ghibli – so I’m trying to find the official 2 disc Japanese release of Only Yesterday.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’ve got a brother to go meet up with, don’t you know?

- Saturday, September 13, 2003 @ 08:40 AM PST

Friday, September 12, 2003

They are casting for a reality show here at work. This is the show my friend David is working on – it’s a reality show about city slickers spending twenty-one days being cowboys. Sort of big brother on the prairie. I wanted to audition for the role of the old codger (the Gabby Hayes/Andy Devine part) but there is no such role so they won’t let me audition. Damn them, damn them all to hell.

I am in the mood for a massage or, at the very least, I am in the massage for a mood. I hope no one’s mood is filled with doom, although doom is mood spelled backwards – oh, a Benjamin Kritzer reference. Perhaps next week I shall reveal the title of the new book. Perhaps I shall just do that.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because shortly I must hie myself to the Oaks of Sherman where I must work all the livelong day.

- Friday, September 12, 2003 @ 08:33 AM PST

Thursday, September 11, 2003

I think they finally like and appreciate me at work. This week the tone has been one hundred percent different. I think one of the reasons is because the network has had so few notes on the first two shows, which has never happened before in the history of this particular show. So, I’m probably here until this show is wrapped up, most likely the end of October/early November. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button because these here notes have too much me in them. These here notes are just brimming with me and I feel that in the next section they should be brimming with something other than me. I feel these here notes are chockful of me or chockful of nuts which is, after all, the same thing.

- Thursday, September 11, 2003 @ 07:19 AM PST

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

I also got a whole slew of DVDs – you see, I’m a voting member of some DVD Academy and I judge the special features and commentaries of DVDs. Every month or so I get nice big packages of free DVDs – the nice thing is these are normally DVDs I would never ever purchase. So, I got some big boxed set of Family Guy and Buffy TV shows, I got that Renee Zellwegger/Doris Day movie, I got Antoine Fisher and One Hour Photo, the new SE of There’s Something About Mary, and about six others I can’t remember the names of. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?

I can also tell you that I shall have something lovely to say in tomorrow’s notes that will continue the excitement, at least for me. My goodness there is just so much excitement that I might have to have to sing and dance to the sounds of the disco hit, I’m So Excited. Yes, let’s all get off our various and sundried butt cheeks and sing and dance to the sounds of the disco hit, I’m So Excited.

My goodness that was exciting, and exhilarating, too. Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because frankly there’s too much excitement going on in this half of the notes.

- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 @ 07:36 AM PST

Tuesday, September 9, 2003

What else can I tell you? What else can I tell you? What else can I tell you? Or, for that matter, what else can I tell ewe? Well, I can tell you that you should order Jeepers Creepers if you haven’t done so already. I can tell you to listen to Donald’s brand spanking new radio show if you haven’t done so already. I can tell you to read Grant Geissman’s Unseemly Interview if you haven’t done so already. I can tell you to read the latest Juliana’s Journal if you haven’t done so already. And if, for some reason, you have not read Benjamin Kritzer and/or Kritzerland then I can tell you to KISS MY ASS.

There is so much information to be gleaned from today’s notes, don’t you think? Here’s some more information you can glean because on simply must glean all the information they can. Yesterday I purchased a book, a UK first edition of a German book – the English title of which is Lottie and Lisa. When the book was published in the US it was called Lisa and Lottie. In its original German it was called Das Doppelte Lottchen. The book is by German author Erich Kastner, who wrote Emil and the Detectives, which was made into a Disney film. Lottie and Lisa or Lisa and Lottie or Das Doppelte Lottchen was also made into a Disney film. I’ll bet you didn’t know that, hence you are gleaning information. Lottie and Lisa is the story of two twins who meet each other at summer camp and then switch places. Sound familiar?

Well, I feel there has been a litte too much gleaning and I feel we must all click on the Unseemly Button below, because I am on a diet, don’t you know.

- Tuesday, September 9, 2003 @ 07:32 AM PST

Monday, September 8, 2003

If you missed any of the goings on during the weekend, you really must use the Unseemly Archive Button to catch up or, at the very least, ketchup. We had a late but lovely birthday celebration for our very own William E. Lurie aka WEL, although WEL didn’t drop by for the festivities as he was probably festizing himself. So, WEL, if you missed your party come check out the lovely posts of yesterday.

I’ve been watching The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, a wonderful but very long motion picture written and directed by Mr. Michael Powell and Mr. Emeric Pressberger. I’d recently picked up the Region 2 DVD of it, and I also have the Criterion DVD. Well, guess what? The three year old Region 2 DVD blows the Criterion out of the water. I know it’s heresy to say, but the Criterion is all kind of gold looking – the colors are all there and it’s obviously the same source material, but they’ve somehow added this golden hue which robs the film of its true rich colors. On the Region 2 DVD there is no golden hue and while it’s not the sharpest transfer I’ve ever seen (neither is the Criterion) the color is wonderful and true. The film has amazing things in it and I recommend it wholeheartedly.

I’m also watching Mr. Richard Fleischer’s See No Evil, with Miss Mia Farrow. It’s really bad so far and I can’t imagine it getting any better. I do like Miss Farrow, though. The score by Mr. Elmer Bernstein is so wrong-headed so much of the time that you just want to throttle him. I have this vague memory that this film had a different score originally, but I’m not sure. Anyone know?

I also checked out the transfer on Sleeping Beauty and it is truly spectacular – stunning, really. If you love this film you will be thrilled with the DVD.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because frankly there is just too much information in this section and I’m quite bored by it all.

- Monday, September 8, 2003 @ 08:04 AM PST

Sunday, September 7, 2003

Yesterday I taped next week’s radio show with our very own Mr. Donald Feltham, and we played eight count them eight songs from the new Jeepers Creepers CD and we gabbed quite a bit as well, and I’m afraid we dished the dirt a little, too. You won’t want to miss a single word – Donald should have it up and running a week from today. Meanwhile, he’ll have a brand spanking new radio show up this very day.

Speaking of this very day, have I mentioned that it’s Sunday, the beginning of a brand spanking new week? And don’t forget, tonight is our Unseemly Live Chat at six o’clock Pacific Mean Daylight Savings Time. Be there or be round.

I picked up the new Superbit edition of Lawrence of Arabia – they’ve done a new transfer for this edition and comparing it with the previously released Special Edition one finds a sharper image and slightly better color, and the whole affair has more clarity and depth. I also got the Superbit edition of Leon, with Jean Reno and Natalie Portman. I’d read some grumblings about the transfer and image but those rumblings were made by nerts – it looks and sounds swell, and while it’s ultimately a rather silly film, I really like the performances of Mr. Reno and Miss Portman and the relationship their characters have – and also the villain of Mr. Gary Oldman is played so wackily that you can’t take your eyes off him. I haven’t checked out Sleeping Beauty yet, but I shall be and I shall have a full report for you.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because it is Sunday, sweet Sunday, the beginning of a brand new week.

- Sunday, September 7, 2003 @ 09:07 AM PST

Saturday, September 6, 2003

Today, she of the Evil Eye will be here, so I must amscray out of here posthaste. I shall go to our very own Donald Feltham’s house where I shall tape a radio show devoted to the new CD, Jeepers Creepers. Then, I shall do some errands, then I shall come home and write until the cows come home. Won’t that be a lovely bunch of coconuts?

Why am I going on about coconuts? I seem to have an unnatural obsession with coconuts on this particular Saturday morning. I’ve got coconuts on the brain (no mean feat), and I’ve also got coconuts on the cornea. I’ve just got too much fershluganah coconuts for my own good.

Today I shall also be picking up the new Superbit transfer of Lawrence of Arabia – normally I wouldn’t, as I have the Special Edition, but the man who restored the film, Robert Harris, says this is a whole new transfer, and much better quality, and that some sound issues have also been fixed. I was not so thrilled with the image on the Special Edition DVD, which I found a bit soft for a 70mm film that should be razor sharp. So, I’m really looking forward to this new edition. And, I’ll be picking up Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, which I’m led to believe is absolutely spectacular.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly button below because she of the Evil Eye will be here at any moment.

- Saturday, September 6, 2003 @ 08:14 AM PST

Friday, September 5, 2003

Yesterday was, at least, bearable. And, we also heard that the Penn and Teller show got picked up, so I’m hoping that at some point soon a call will come about that (it actually doesn’t gear up till mid-October and I, most likely, wouldn’t be needed for two or three weeks after that). You, of course, will be the first to know.

Last night I watched the rest of Roman Polanski’s shorts. That doesn’t sound right, does it? What am I doing watching Roman Polanski’s shorts when I don’t even know him? In any case, Roman Polanski’s shorts are very interesting and I am enjoying them. The first short is entitled “Murder” and consists of a man entering a room and stabbing another man who is asleep. The stabbing man then leaves. It runs approximately one minute. I feel one minute films are the wave of the future – they’re much cheaper to make, they never get boring, stars don’t have to commit to a long filming schedule. Yes, I shall make only one minute films from now on.

Perhaps I should write a one minute notes. However many sentences and paragraphs I can write in one minute, then that’s the day’s notes. Perhaps I should boil a one minute egg. However, where boiling eggs is concerned I need to be egged on.

Perhaps we should bring back the Bossa Nova. As you know, I blame it on the Bossa Nova, especially when I’m in Rio – I like to blame things on both the Bossa Nova and Rio and also I like to put the blame on Mame, either the person or the musical. What the hell am I talking about?

Perhaps we’d better click on the Unseemly Button below because I fear that these here first section notes have gone beyond their alloted one minute.

- Friday, September 5, 2003 @ 07:37 AM PST

Thursday, September 4, 2003

Last night I finished watching the motion picture entitled A Double Life. I thought it was a most peculiar movie, but entertaining in its own weird way. Not one of Mr. Cukor’s best in my opinion (IMO, in Internet lingo) but an interesting performance from Ronald Colman, and a very early appearance by Shelly Winters. I also watched five early short films by Roman Polanski. They were all quite strange but in them one can see the seeds of his later films. He appears in several of them, and in one of them, interestingly, there is a shot where he approaches the camera to do some harm to someone that is exactly the same shot he ended up using in Chinatown when he approaches the camera to do some harm to Mr. Jack Nicholson.

I’m having birthday withdrawal right now. Doesn’t anyone have a birthday today? I need my pointy party hat and my cheese slices and ham chunks, I need my colored tights and pantaloons, I need to dance the hora and the frug. Someone must have a birthday. Isn’t there some lurker out there having a birthday? Oh, well, birthdays tomorrow, comedy tonight – oh, a Stephen Sondheim reference.

We had a brief power outage at work yesterday. It was very peculiar and I am happy that I was not in the elevator at the time. The entire building went out and it was quite strange but only added to the overall strangeness inherent in this jernt.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below so we can see if anyone is having a birthday in the next section.

- Thursday, September 4, 2003 @ 07:35 AM PST

Wednesday, September 3, 2003

The lovely thing about this week is that it’s already Wednesday and Friday is but two days away. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?

I heard from my pal Marc Wanamaker, who it the premiere Los Angeles historian (especially Hollywood and the studios) in terms of photographs. I saw him at the recent Nudie Musical screening and he gave me a sheaf of wonderful and amazing old LA photos of things that were featured in Kritzerland. In any case, Harvey Schmidt and I have been chatting about the cover of Kritzer 3, and I told him I had two or three things I thought might work, but that I had to get photos. Thankfully, Marc came through today and said photos are on their way to me. One of them sounds perfect, even in his description of it over the phone. I have wanted each of these covers to be something iconographic from my childhood – an LA specific thing that would be important in the life of Benjamin Kritzer. So, I’m hoping to decide on the image this week, then Harvey can start his painting and translate it into his own magical style.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, because I must go to work to see if I’m still working. If I am still working then I shall work all the livelong day, come home, and go back on Thursday morning to see if I’m still working – or, as Stephen Schwartz once said, Day by Day. Day by Day – that could be the title of my beloved Dodo Day’s autobiography.

- Wednesday, September 3, 2003 @ 07:31 AM PST

Tuesday, September 2, 2003

I wrote up a storm over the weekend and am in the home stretch on Kritzer 3. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? That was but one of the many fascinating revelations that were revealed last night. Does today seem like Tuesday? It seems like Monday to me, and yet I know in my heart of hearts or, at the very least, in my club of clubs, that it is indeed Tuesday. Ah, the conundrum of the days.

Shortly I shall be leaving to go back to work. I must say, this is the strangest job I’ve ever had – I have no idea if they like me or hate me or if they think I’m doing well or if they think I’m just okay or if they think I’m wretched. No one says anything, and it’s sort of getting on my nerves. The fellow who runs the company is a very nice man, but it is impossible to read him, and his mood swings are very strange. One minute he’ll be gruff and short, and then five minutes later he’ll be friendly and warm. It’s actually driving me a little crazy and we all know what a short drive that is. However, I take it day by day and week by week – what else can one do? I hear one can do any number of things. For example, one can do a handstand whilst eating a tortilla. Did you know that one could do that? I did and do and I do and did. What the hell am I talking about?

I’ll tell you what the hell I’m talking about. I’m talking about putting on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, I’m talking about breaking out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, I’m talking about dancing the hora and the monkey, that’s what I’m talkin’ about. And why am I talkin’ about these things? Well, I’ll tell you why I’m talkin’ about these things because why should I withhold such things from you? We’ve got a birthday to celebrate here at haineshisway.com, that’s why I’m talkin’ about these things. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, it is dear reader Ron Pulliam’s very own birthday and we wish to wish him a big swell birthday with a big swell birthday cheer. On the count of three: One, two, three – HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR READER RON PULLIAM WITH A BIG SWELL BIRTHDAY CHEER!

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I must hie myself to the Oaks of Sherman where I shall work all the livelong day.

- Tuesday, September 2, 2003 @ 07:34 AM PST

Monday, September 1, 2003

Yesterday, I stayed home all the livelong day (except for a brief sojourn to the market) and I wrote most of the livelong day, close to fourteen pages. I also watched a DVD entitled Titanic, with Mr. Clifton Webb and Miss Barbara Stanwyck. It was a very enjoyable film, and the transfer looks lovely. Back when the film was made I must say it was quite daring for a major studio to release a film without a score, especially as dramatic a film as this one, but the score by Sol Kaplan consists of a main title cue, and one other cue late in the film. Other than that, there’s a bit of source music and that is it. I also watched the first half of a Clint Eastwood movie called Tightrope, actually written and directed by first-timer Richard Tuggle. I hadn’t seen it since it came out, and it holds up pretty well, although I don’t find it one of Mr. Eastwood’s best.

Today I was supposed to go to dear reader Mark Rothman’s house for supper, but I have asked for a raincheck because I must get through the chapter I am writing. Normally, I wouldn’t take a rain check, I’d just pick up when I got home, but I just feel I need to finish this chapter before I start work again tomorrow. So, hopefully Mr. Mark Rothman will give me said raincheck and all will be well with the world and environs.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I simply must get them posted, mustn’t I?

- Monday, September 1, 2003 @ 09:33 AM PST