So, come on in to the chat room, stay as long as you like, and we’ll party there until the cows come home or until Mr. Mark Bakalor has this fershluganah site back to normal.

[Link]

- Saturday, October 18, 2003 @ 11:26 PM PST

Friday, October 17, 2003

Last night I attended the re-premiere of It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World at the Cinerama Dome. We arrived at six-thirty, met up with the people we were meeting, and picked up our tickets. There was a red carpet set up near the main Arclight box-office. We stood there and stood there and didn’t see any celebrities arriving. Finally, I suggested there was some other premiere going on and that our premiere was in the front of the Dome. I was right. By that time we’d missed all the arrivals save for Sid Caesar, Edie Adams and Michelle Lee. We went directly into the theater and mingled. Those attending the re-premiere were treated to free drinks and popcorn. We took our seats and at seven-thirty we were treated to half-an-hour of speeches by various and sundried folks such as Karen Kramer, the widow of Mr. Stanley Kramer, Johnny Grant, the honorary Mayor of Hollywood (or something like that), and a few others. Before the film actually unspooled, we were treated to a short film which showed the Dome being built. From the time the property was purchased and the theater was designed, they had sixteen weeks to construct it, and they did it, night and day. Then the Overture began and I can’t tell you what a treat it was to see a pristine, brand-new 70mm print of Mad World which was, of course, actually shot in 70mm. The only problem was the same problem the Dome has always had, the projection is a bit dim there. The film, even in this slightly shorter version (approximately 165 minutes) is really long. I have never thought Mad World was one of the greatest comedies ever made, but it has enough laughs to keep me happy, and the cast – well, we’ll never see their like again. There just isn’t anyone like these people – Phil Silvers and Paul Ford and Arnold Stang and Marvin Kaplan and the stars, Spencer Tracy, Sid Caesar, Milton Berle, Mickey Rooney, Edie Adams, Jonathan Winters, Ethel Merman, Dorothy Provine, Buddy Hackett, Dick Shawn and Terry-Thomas. And all those cameo stars, everyone from Buster Keaton to The Three Stooges. The score by Ernest Gold is pretty amazing, too.

In attendance were Mr. Sid Caesar, Edie Adams and Marvin Kaplan (at least those were who I personally spied), along with Michelle Lee, Lainie Kazan and quite a few others. The most amusing thing that happened to me during the entire evening happened in the Men’s Room at intermission. I was standing there, washing my hands, when the fellow next to me just started staring at me and then said, loudly, in front of all the people in the Men’s Room, “Bruce Kimmel? Are you Bruce Kimmel? First Nudie Musical? I love that movie, I love that DVD.” I thanked him very much.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because she of the Evil Eye will be here at any moment.

- Friday, October 17, 2003 @ 09:20 AM PST

Thursday, October 16, 2003

I am very excited to tell you that this evening I shall be attending the re-premiere of It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World at the Cinerama Dome. I’m really looking forward to it and I shall, of course, have a full report for you tomorrow.

I told you I had some interesting news re The First Nudie Musical, the film. You may recall that we had to do the DVD transfer from several prints, but given that circumstance I was quite pleased with the results. The reason for using prints is that no one knows where the camera negative is – in fact, we all presume it’s lost somewhere and will never be found. However, the other day I received a call from a film dealer who said he’d located five Fuji color prints of the film, all with excellent color. He also said that there were several other boxes of Nudie material, including the CRI negative. Now, the CRI is not the camera negative, it’s one generation down and is used for making prints. Apparently it’s in excellent shape. There is also a music and effects track, which means we can, at long last, make some foreign territory deals on the film. And there’s a box with all the trailer elements. Needless to say, an incredible find. I have made a deal to purchase the prints and the rest. Once I’ve done that, I will take the CRI and make a hi-def transfer in 16x9, and that transfer should look incredible. When Image’s deal runs out, I may choose to issue the film again in the new transfer. We shall see. But, this find will enable me to have the ability to strike new prints, should the need arrive. Amazing what turns up unexpectedly.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’ve got things to do, places to go, people to see, don’t you know.

- Thursday, October 16, 2003 @ 01:29 AM PST

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Last night I dreamed I was at Manderley. In my dream, for some reason, a director had asked me to act in a film and, even though I didn’t really want to do it, I said yes. I had to do a love scene with Miss Meg Ryan (maybe that’s why I said yes). All I can now remember was rehearsing to do it, and something about holding a cake and that neither Meg nor I liked the director much. Then I woke up because, Meg Ryan be damned, I knew I had to write these here notes. So, blame Meg Ryan for the lateness of these here notes.

Last night, prior to the marathon, I watched the remake of The Italian Job. It really has very little to do with the original film, and it’s a perfectly pleasant little caper film, not great, but not bad. I’ll tell you what I really liked about it though, and which was totally refreshing – while there was a bit of violence (some shooting) it was very underplayed, there was no blood and it took up about one minute of the entire film. There is also no cursing, which I also found refreshing. So, thumbs up for someone having the guts to do that in today’s market.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because that darned Meg Ryan made me oversleep and now I am running behind. I wonder how “behind” feels about me running it?

- Wednesday, October 15, 2003 @ 09:33 AM PST

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

I went to Gelson’s yesterday to buy some lunch and it was like a madhouse there. You’d have thought it was the day before Thanksgiving and yet it wasn’t the day before Thanksgiving. Apparently, there is a supermarket strike on at most of the markets in Los Angeles and, rather than cross the picket lines, everyone came to Gelson’s instead. For some reason, Gelson’s doesn’t seem to be affected by the strike. Is the strike going on in other parts of the country or are only we West Coasters who are blessed?

Who can think with all this noise? I cannot think with all this noise. Did you know that yesterday was Columbus Day? I had no idea – the holiday people forgot to tell me. Therefore we did not have a party for Mr. Columbus. We did not have any cheese slices or ham chunks for Mr. Columbus. We did not dance the hora or the locomotion for Mr. Columbus. In short, Mr. Columbus was sans party at haineshisway.com.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button because the cacophony of noise will hopefully abate by the time we get to the next section.

- Tuesday, October 14, 2003 @ 08:52 AM PST

Monday, October 13, 2003

As you all know, we had a terrible crash here at haineshisway.com and were down for twenty-two hours on Friday. Mr. Bakalor assures me he is switching us over to our new server as we speak and that we are on the fast track for our changes. Even though many of you played errant and truant over the weekend, we were here and it was fun so check out what went on. Actually, I don’t know if the archive has been fixed so you might not be able to, but give it a try. I anticipate hearing from Mr. Bakalor today about the archive and whether the radio show is up and running yet.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’ve got lots of things to do today and I must prepare myself for a long night of going over the second batch of fixes.

- Monday, October 13, 2003 @ 08:58 AM PST

Sunday, October 12, 2003

I feel in honor of Noel and Joy’s wedding that those Hainsies/Kimlets who are still single should all get married today. I, for example, would marry as long as my partner lived in a different state. That would be bliss, in fact it would be the state of bliss.

Last night I watched a motion picture entertainment entitled Seabiscuit. I got a DVD screener of it and took a gander at it. I thought it was fine, but then I’m a sucker for horses and horse racing. I am not a fan of its writer/director, however, and I feel the film is not nearly as good as it should be. It’s rather ponderous and filled with Screenwriting and Directing 101 cliches. I found the whole folksy Studs Terkel-like narration during the first forty minutes really annoying. A few period photos would have done the trick and in much less annoying a fashion (stiletto heels and black leather mini-skirt). Especially, as he abandons the folksy Studs Terkel-like narration for the duration of the film (and it’s a long duration). Then there’s the whole neat little business of the jockey and the horse being the same – both abandoned, both treated poorly, and both becoming a success despite the odds. That would be fine if it were done subtly, but the writer/director lays it on with a trowel and beats us over the head with it mercilessly. My favorite laugh-out-loud moment was when the jockey has an accident and shatters his leg, and then Seabiscuit has an accident and hurt his leg. And, if we didn’t “get” it, we have a slow tilt down to a closeup in one shot of the jockey and horse’s bandaged legs. I don’t need to be fed the meaning on a spoon every two minutes. The music does the same. No one loves Randy Newman more than I, but I’m tired of his Americana thing – all his Americana scores are the same. I don’t know that I blame him, however, since I was told he had to rewrite his score several times at the whim of the writer/director and the producers. That’s what it comes to these days – when they feel something is not working they blame the composer. Mr. Newman eventually left the film and the score was fashioned by others from his material. Today, more than ever, scores must sound exactly the same because these auteurs temp-track their films with other film music (I’d bet this film was temp-tracked with Field of Dreams and Mr. Newman’s own The Natural) and then they can’t hear beyond that. Why hire a composer at all? It’s shameful, really, and film composers today, with rare exceptions, are not allowed the creative freedom they once knew.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Don’t we have a wedding to celebrate? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below so said celebration can continue until the cows come home.

- Sunday, October 12, 2003 @ 08:58 AM PST

Saturday, October 11, 2003

How musical I am today. Perhaps I shall compose a concerto. Since I will be driving around, perhaps I shall compose a Concerto for Automobile and Voice in the key of G. I was going to compose it in Ab but who wants to have Ab when they’re driving? Not me. That would make me molto agitato instead of tranquilo.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I want to give us all plenty of time for plenty of catching-up posts.

- Saturday, October 11, 2003 @ 09:03 AM PST

Friday, October 10, 2003

I really do wish this nagging pain in my lower back would just get going, would just vamoose, would just amscray, but no, it is hanging on like an unwanted party guest.

Last night I dreamed I was at Manderley. In my dream I was in court dealing with the old bad business. My lawyer was antagonizing everyone and finally he took his pants off and exposed himself and then began drooling and screaming and he was carried off to the lunatic asylum. That did not bode well for a good outcome, but luckily a few moments later in dreamtime my new lawyer, who looked like Richard Mulligan or, in fact, may have been Richard Mulligan, was doing a great job, everyone loved him and it became quickly apparent that I would prevail and win the case. Then I woke up.

Wasn’t that a lovely dream? Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I have no idea if anyone will be reading these here notes or not.

- Friday, October 10, 2003 @ 09:58 PM PST

Wednesday, October 1, 2003

I’m already tuckered out from dancing the Pony, are you? That is one energetic dance if you ask me. Yesterday, I met up with Mr. Guy Haines and we recorded the vocals for three of the five Kritzerland CD songs – Guess Things Happen That Way, Poor Little Fool and High Hopes. Mr. Haines did them quite quickly for he was having a good day vocally. It helped that all the songs only had a range of about five notes. So, we hope to do the last two songs this weekend – It’s All in the Game and Together, Wherever We Go.

I also proofed like a madman yesterday and am now half-way through the book. Of course, this is only my proofing and my other proofers will hopefully get me their fixes soon. I also picked up my friend Ted Chapin’s brand spanking new book entitled Everything Was Possible, which is all about the making of Follies. I’ve read a bit and it’s very well done and quite addictive. I can’t really read anymore until I finish proofing, but then I shall devour the rest of it quite quickly. However, I can already recommend it without reservation.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I have to take a breather from the Pony.

- Wednesday, October 1, 2003 @ 09:07 AM PST