December 24th, 2003

Happy Christmas Everybody!

Often times it takes a big holiday like Christmas to make me stop and reflect on where I am, where I've been and how far I've come in the past year. Last year I had just finished The Wizard of Oz in South Bay , had spent 3 months living in a dream world of Redondo Beach , Dorothy and Toto, Disneyland and my friends- a world as far from reality as possible- and I loved it.

This year, I'm in Houston TX, understudying the lead and about to go on for her in the 1st National Tour of Thoroughly Modern Millie, making great money, seeing everything this country has to offer, making contacts and friends and, though a little homesick, having a blast!

Of to start me day... Dishes, sit-ups, the movie Elf (with Bradley), then Christmas at Darcie's tonight! HURRAH!

December 25th, 2003

HURRAH and Merry Christmas!

This morning was quite lovely. I woke to my alarm at 9:45, feeling as though Id DIE- my whole body felt like lead, but I woke it up, plugged in my tress and called my family. The Bradley came over, and we opened our presents together under my tress (cuz how sad would it be to open gifts alone?) and exchanged gifts with each other. She gave me a really cute black top from Express that says, "Rock and Roll- Flying High" on it- PERFECT for me- and the card game UNO, which Id been wanting. She had bought me the Love Actually cd, but when I bought it for myself, took it back (Like I had to do with Willy Wonka on her 21st!) Ahaha. Were even.

After we opened our gifts, we began preparing our french toast breakfast. Bradley made the french toast, while I set the table, supplied music on my computer, poured mimosas and egg nog and called to invite the boys. Soon, Eric Halvorson, Jeremy and Allen were over, and we were enjoying french toast with fresh raspberries, blueberries, strawberries and bananas. MMMM!

We finished eating, played 2 rounds of UNO (which I lost) and then hurried to dress and leave for the Edwards theatres to see PETER PAN- which was awesome and I WILL own!

The boy who plays Peter is a doll, and if I were his age Id have a big old crush. And that Wendy... WHAT TALENT! Both kids are wise beyond their years and she's a beautiful actress. Of course I was jealous the whole film... Peter Pan is a show I've always wanted to do.. and I'm too tall. *sigh*

After the movie, we went home and rested. I spoke to a dear friend in California , and had dinner.

I met the gang at 5:30 and we drove to the theatre, arriving at 6pm for Secret Santa reveal. It was lots of fun. Someone had to get up, take a guess at their Secret Santa and then that person would reveal himself and be the next to guess. Pam guessed I was hers because one of my "Hollywood Diva" lotion gift to her (we always joke about being Hollywood divas!).She seemed to love me as her s.s.- yay! Success for my first time playing!

Then... it was my turn. I guessed our stage manager, John. Wrong. MATT CAVANAUGH! CRAZY! But makes sooooooo much sense looking back. Ahaha! He was so pleased with himself, and he gave me a big hug. YAY for my final gift... a Hollister gift card- can't wait to spend!

Tomorrow will be perfect! I'm staying in my pj's all day, and Bradley and I are ordering in Chinese food, play games and watch x-mas movies. HURRAH!

Goodnight!


January 1st, 2004

WOW! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Like Christmas, with every new years comes an intense reflection for me on the previous year and all it entailed, how far I've come and the changes made for better or worse.... and every year I'm amazed to see how things have developed in my life. However, THIS year was even MORE astounding to look back on, as so many life changing things have taken place and I'm a v. changed girl for it.

Last year I spent New Years with friends Patty and Mel at a Fab Four show. I toasted the New year with my friend Ardy, met Heather Rene, one of my best friends, at a party after the show... Crazy!

Last year at this time I had JUST finished The Wizard of Oz, and I was quite sure I'd never be so happy again.

Last year, I had NO IDEA how MUCH MORE God had in store for me, if only I would commit everything about my life to him and trust him- faithfully.

This year, I spent New years at Houston's Hard Rock Cafe with mum, dad, U. Paul, A. Diane and tons others... 2 steppin with my pops to the rockin' rockabilly band- Jesse Dayton Band.

This year, I received a phone call at midnight from a certain boy in LA, who I've liked since I met him...2 years ago.

This year, I am financially expanding, making long term investment goals.

This year, I am touring with the 1st National tour of Thoroughly Modern Millie- u/sing Millie and just Tuesday got to go on in the role!

God has given me so much more than I ever dreamed of, and when I freak out about goals and dreams of career success, marriage, wealth, and being torn between NY and LA, I have to remind myself of all HE's already done which seemed impossible, and I must TRUST the divine plan!

I've really been loving my time in TX, esp. the last week with my family and friends in town. My mum and A. Diane flew here a few days after Christmas and brought with them so much holiday spirit and warmth of family. They also brought me TONS and TONS of super neat gifts, and I felt like the luckiest gal in the world!

Tuesday I awoke to my little feminine plague (aka "friend"). I also hadn't done the show for 2 whole days (I was sick on Sunday) or been rehearsed as Millie since BEFORE Thanksgiving, or even received NOTES from my performance.

All of these factors did NOT help me to be at my best as Millie my 1st night on for Darcie's vacation.

Although I got an immediate standing ovation, I felt I could have been so much better, and of course my family and best friend Patty was out there! However, I still feel I did a great job and gave the audience a good show, and their reactions more than confirmed that. Paul, our associate director, surprised me by attending, and it was GREAT seeing him. He had wonderful notes for me, and although I wish he had stayed to see me again (since Id not touched it for over a month), I'm glad he was about to give me such great things to think about and play with, as well as great feedback! Notes are so important to me!

Darren Lee loved me. He told me I did everything great.

Eric didn't love me, but I think he was proud, although he knows I can do even better.

Hollis and Pam were quite proud of me, which means more than anyone else loving me. I respect and admire them so!

My wonderful friends, Ali and Jill from Oz sent me beautiful red roses- which smell divine and have bloomed in the last 2 days, and my mum and Aunt gave me the most stunning tulips- of yellows, reds, purples and pinks- which   everyone who has seen them have been completely taken with! Every night since, I've smelled my roses and kissed my tulips upon entering my dressing room... yea.. big old dork, but I love them so!

Laura has been on the past 2 nights, and everyone has been greatly supportive of her as well. Its nice to share the job with someone else, because we can share the excitement too! Were looking forward to Sat. night, when I'm on again!

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed though with Paul's notes and my prep. For Saturday. Jesus, carry me!


January 5th, 2004

God Bless Houston, TX, and all of the other pleasant cities we've visited on tour, but Ft. Lauderdale blows all others out of the water- by far!

Close your eyes and picture the ocean, from view of the warm sand, 77 degrees out, 5:15pm, puffy white clouds overhead, golden lit sky as the sun slowly melts into the horizon behind you (you're facing the water). Sea gulls flying overhead, 2 huge ships at sea, small waves crashing softly against the shore as the tide rolls closer... closer... A few people here and there~ some running, some being chased by playful waves as they dare to wet their toes...laughter....sweet smell of the ocean, a light breeze...nothing more relaxing and comforting- nothing more inviting. Bliss! An almost perfectly full, round moon peeking from behind a bunch of clouds...salty taste on your lips... I feel like I've stepped into the most beautiful seaside painting that's ever been painted, and I'm SO HAPPY to be out of Houston , and one city closer to California !

Last week I played Millie Tuesday, Saturday night and Sunday. I feel it went v. v. well. My cast mates were so incredibly supportive and kind and genuinely praising. Many of them not only praised me, but complimented me to my mum (Sean and Pam and Andy...) and Hollis, after the final show, gave me a hug and told me I did a great job- followed by telling me to remember to hold for the laughed (which is hard as an u/s to know where they all are and the timing of them) and to REALLY take my bow... like a star! I've always had trouble with that one, and I need to learn to trust my position and gifts more, I guess. It meant so much that she talked with me!

Bad News!!!! I believe my ATM card has somehow demagnetized, and I have NO WAY of getting cash! What's worse, my bank is closed for the day, so I cant call about a new one! *sigh* This is something to thin about before NEXT tour... ahaha. Come with TWO!

It turned out that I had the biggest show of all in Houston ... immediately following my Sat.night performance, TUTS/ Hobby Center hosted a ritzy party after the show! Hollis, Sean and I were the only "leads" who attended, and as soon as we arrived, I was ushered from patron to patron for pictures and greetings. Everyone was so VERY kind and complimentary towards me and my performance. Several people commented on how I didn't seem like an understudy even once. A few people said they'd like to see me be given the role when Darcie decides to leave, which I found v. appealing and flattering... how I wish the company thought so! *laugh*

It was all v. exciting. I had a good time and learned a lot. Paul's notes were so excellent and turned out to be extremely helpful to me. I'm really glad for them!

I don't know when (or if) Ill get to play Millie again, but Ill continue to work hard on her for my duration with the company.

A thought occurred to me on Sunday, before the show. I was the 7th (?) girl in the WHOLE WORLD to EVER get to play Millie.   SEVENTH! (?) In the universe! WOW! That's not like being 1 in a million Christine's or Annie's!

Crazy! What a gift!

I only wish so many more of my friends and family and readers could have been there!

Write to Juliana at Juliana@haineshisway.com