January 9th, 2004

Well.. I don’t know HOW in the world we’ve done it, but we have. Tonight marked our 200th performance~ amazing! Even MORE amazing is that Andy Pang and Pam Issacs haven’t missed a one! KUDOS TO THEM! I’ve missed 6- 4 were pd and excused, and the 2 were because I was violently ill. I hate calling out sick and avoid it at all costs. Thursday will mark MY 200th performance. I can’t believe it! Prior to Millie, the most performances Id done of a show was 28- The Secret Garden when I was 12 and had 8 shows a week for 7 weeks, but Mary was double cast! It’s been really neat experiencing the same thing 200 (almost) times over such a long (so it seems) period of time. Some days it’s unbearable, some days- phenomenal, and each day different. I’ve grown a lot in my role- we all have, and I’ve particularly enjoyed watching as our company changes- farewell to some and welcome to new folks.

I cant imagine what Sutton must feel like- having been Millie for SUCH a long time. What an accomplishment! And how neat to explore her character so fully and richly and thoroughly (ha ha) in that amount of time. There is only a bit to explore with Gloria and the other ensemble tracks, but Millie has a wealth of facets to explore, and its been fascinating watching Darcie grow in her. I long for the day I will have such an opportunity!

One of the recent changes in our tour was Allan leaving and Daniel returning. Weird. We all grew to adore Allan- such a sweetheart- and it was v. sad saying "happy tails- until we meet again" although we know great things are in his future. He’s so talented, and my mum says he "flys" when he dances. No doubt, hell work.

On the flip side, we were all ESTATIC to welcome Daniel May back- my original dance partner and such a dear friend (and fellow So. Cal. pal!).

We were a little nervous to see him again, but it was so comfortable and natural to have him back, and I couldn’t be happier. Diane and I took him to dinner at the beach his first night here, and it was like old times. Even his put in sailed easily- and Speakeasy is so much fun with him!

Perhaps the biggest change in cast is presently occurring, as Matt is leaving after Sunday's show, and Joey Sorge- of the Broadway company- is replacing him. Joey is an absolute doll- so nice and genuine and friendly- and I think hell be a v. good Jimmy- thought v. different from Matt. Today was his put in and he did v. well. its fairly "old hat" to him for he u/s the track in NY, and there are only minor differences in our productions.

I’ve been coughing so much and almost completely lost my voice, and its MISERY to be ill in such a city! MUST shake this- and fast! Esp. since...

Michael Mayer (adore him!), Michael Rafter (love him) are in town next week and will be working with us! Michael Rafter may even call us in for u/s vocals, so I need to be 100%!!! Lord- help!

The show tonight was a struggle. My cords are so ripped from my incessant cough that I’ve practically completely lost my voice. Every time I had to sing a solo or say a line I was petrified that nothing would come out! Apparently, I’m not the 1st to experience this...whatever it is! Jeremy went thru it last week in Houston, Janelle has had it all week... Poor gal goes on for Muzzy all of next week- bless her! She went to an ENT for a scope and antibiotic which seems to be helping. If Im not better by Monday, Ill see the ENT too. My voice is too precious to mess around with something like this!

This morning, after getting ginger chicken broth ingredients, Andy and I relaxed on the beach for 1 1/2 hours, basking in the warmth of the sun! It was so hard to get up and leave (to catch the bus for rehearsal) when the time came, so I consoled myself with a homemade coconut Italian ice and the promise of returning tomorrow morning. HURRAH!

Now for some exciting news...reader Derik from Cleveland has begun the v. first Unofficial fan site- and I hope you’ll all go and support it and sign the guestbook! It totally took me by surprise that he did this, and I’m definitely flattered. Although I’m not involved with the sites ins and outs (Ill have an official site soon, which will be MINE and Ill be involved in), I have promised to check the forum every month as time permits and respond to any questions people ask me on it! There have already been some great ones, and I’m doing my best to answer them fully. Of course, Haineshisway is the only site where my journal is available, so please continue to log on!

Lastly, I dropped off 2 roles of film today- one of which has in costume Millie pictures from Houston- some with other principals! As soon as I get them back, Ill send copies to Craig for posting here, and I hope you’ll all enjoy them!

January 22nd, 2004

Just got back from rehearsal. Eric Stern was really pleased, and he congratulated me on incorporating most all of Michael Rafter's notes from last week- hurrah! In truth, I was scared to death of rehearsal today because I wondered if I would be able to do ANY of those notes at all (hadn’t really looked at them as much as I should have!), and I especially wanted to be even more real and honest and in the moment and organic than I’ve been- all words which terrify me- and wasn’t sure how to accomplish them. However, it all somehow came together and I had a really great run thru. I also got the chance to learn the new blocking/lines for opening, Miss D./Priscilla scene and Miss D. act 2- which is great. I’m SO GLAD Eric was pleased, and I hope to continue in that direction.

I think I rediscovered the art of subtlety today- how one can get the message and truth across more effectively by not PUSHING it out. less is more, and I pulled back my "larger than life"- isms at certain moments a lot, and trusted my instincts and the text. Everyone has always said I’ve got great instincts and I think when I get larger than life its just out of fear. It’s scary to let go of the "control" and trust the moment and text, but its powerfully enriching.

I rediscovered some Millie moments too, esp. Act 2 with Jimmy and Miss D.- ANGER STEMS FROM HURT!!! I hope John's notes are favorable and helpful. I’m looking forward to getting them.

Yesterday was amazing. Andy made my birthday very special by treating me to Universal's Islands of Adventure yesterday, and we had a marvelous time.

Everything at Islands... is like stepping into a comic book- we met Spiderman, Superman, Captain America, the X-Men chicks (way cool)...we rode such rollercoasters as the hulk and Dr. Dooms Free Fall... in Dr. Suess Land we met the Grinch and rode the Cat and the Hat spin ride... we got a giant turkey leg, roasted corn and candied apple (my favorite!). My fav. ride was the Dueling Dragons- a roller coaster with 2 dragons, fire and ice, that begin at the same time and at one point come head to head and instead of colliding flip over backwards with seconds to spare. Intense, esp. the fire side! (cuz you HAVE to ride both sides! *grin*)

I can’t imagine a more wonderful time, but I think Ill be having it because I’m hitting MGM and Epcot next week...ALL DAY! (on Monday) I miss Disneyland so much (I was raised there!), and I can’t wait to explore the other parks!


January 25th, 2004

Hello, it’s my birthday! *grin* THAT’S how I’m answering my cell phone ALL day today! I’m 21!!!! i can brag! ahaha

So... 9:45am, and I’m in bed at the beautiful home we rented (Paul, Heather, Bradley and Jeremy and I) for our week in Clearwater, which none of us want to leave.

What am I feeling? I’m a little bummed to be 21. 21 is the only age I’ve ever turned and actually truly felt older. MUCH older. The reality of aging and no longer being an adorable and impressive child has set in, and I HATE IT!!!! I have this sinking feeling that it only gets harder from here, and I’m scared- and desperately want to hide away in the Merry Old Land of Oz, or in The Sound of Music...

Last night 6 people called to wish me a happy b. day, and about 20 people emailed me...I feel so blessed! Among the callers were Daddy, Olli, Lora, (all before midnight, ROCK ON FRIENDS!), Mark, Ellen, Lauren, Mum.... yay! Mark called a 2nd time and sang my fav. Billy Joel song to me, Just the Way You Are- sweetheart!

I received birthday gifts from readers Whitney (who turns 21 in 5 days- happy b.day Whitney!) and Cristin and Jess- who came to the show last night (Cristin, it was great seeing you again!). They both gave me journals, which they know Ill put to great use. Whitney’s was accompanied by an AWESOME footprints keychain, Cristin's by a monkey! *laugh* Both were totally unexpected and sweet and their thoughtfulness meant so much to me.

Yesterday I got a French manicure for the first time in probably a year+. My last dinner as a 20 yr. old was sushi and seaweed salad and.... *drum roll please* DIET COKE! Call me BRUCE KIMMEL, but I’ve become addicted in ONE WEEK of living with Heather and Paul (who drink more vanilla coke than sold at the supermarket!)

After the show, Eric Halvorson, Hayden, Andy, Diane, Todd, Ruth, Bradley and Jeremy and I went to a place called Frenchys- where they have a live band and yummy food. It was a pretty happening place for Clearwater, and I enjoyed turning 21 there. Its also right on the beach- which makes me happy!! I ordered water- until midnight- when we all made the waiter card me and I got a strawberry daiquiri. mmm! I only drank half and could feel a buzz (which I’m not crazy about...such a lightweight! *laugh*) and left the rest. We celebrated Ruth's birthday too, which is also Jan 25, and even toasted to Joanne Hunter (Broadway's Gloria), who ALSO shares our birthday! YAY!

Thanks God for Andy and his digital camera, for I forgot mine at home. But Andy and Todd saved the day and  I have documentation of my first hrs. of fully legal adulthood. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

10:16am. off to bathe, eat cereal on our back porch swing in the morning sunlight (one of my fav. activities here in Clearwater) and walk on the beach to collect seashells. Ah yes... and 2 shows today! *ugh*


January 27th, 2004

I had the most amazing birthday week, and I’m sorry it’s ended. I think I left off at mid day on my birthday, so now Ill recount the last 2 days in as much detail as possible.

Jan. 25- I spent the morning at Dianes and Andys and Janelles beach penthouse apartment- walking along the shore collecting seashells. It was the most beautiful and sunny and warm day wed had since arriving in Clearwater (About 76 in JANUARY!), and I walked barefoot through the waves on the softest sand my skin has ever touched. We collected tons of shells and tried to pretend we didn’t have a show in the next few hours. ON the beach we saw many people soaking up sun rays, a couple walking their 2 dogs, a dead puffin fish (crazy weird looking) and a land of seashells wish seaweed borders, which someone had made in the sand... it was such a work of art- diff. types of shells grouped together in beautiful ways like little villages within the seashell kingdom. My favorite was the land on the sand dollars, where practically whole (or at least halves) sand dollars were stuck into the sand in diff. directions. I wanted to take one, for Id only found small pieces of them for my collection, but this village was too much a work of art and beauty to take anything from it. Instead, I added to it- a whole shell of a small crab I found lying on the beach. I placed him on a seashell hill to rule over the land! Ok.. I’m weird. *laugh*

We arrived at the theatre only a few moments before half hour was called- just in time, and just as everyone was filing into the catering room to sing to Ruth and me. Our cake was cute, had our names on it and was surrounded by cupcakes. I took a cupcake with a pink heart on top, with pink frosting. (which I scraped off-ick!)

Everyone was so sweet to me, and it reminded me of how lucky I am to be in such a successful tour with such a nice and generous group of people! So many people gave me cards and gifts, and everyone was kind to me.

The matinee was tons of fun...I had so much energy and excitement from my b.day (all those presents waiting for me to open them in my dressing room!) and the show seemed to fly by. Between shows, I was banned from going home, as Bradley and Heather were planning something, so I went to Best buy with the boys, then to Applebee’s and had a yummy Aztec salad. We sat at the bar and were surrounded by many people coming to see Millie that night. We listened, amused, ad they talked about the show and Julie Andres in the movie- not knowing were cast.

The 2nd show was a little harder to get thru. I was eager to "hit it and quit it" so I could enjoy my b. day bash which Bradzo so awesomely planned! FINALLY, it was over, and I rode home with Jeremy, Erik and Bradley, to a house decorated with streamers, balloons and a pretty "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" banner. Go Bradley! *grin* we had gold fish, guacamole Doritos, ruffles and dip... fresh popcorn, carrots and hummus, pretzels, cokes, Smirnoff ice, Bacardi Raz, pizza...I ate too many Oreos (my cookie weakness...that and chocolate chip) and sipped a Smirnoff Ice... but only had a 3rd or less. I’m certainly NOT a drinker!

For viewing material, Bradley supplied some funny movies which had us all laughing for hours- loud chuckling and screams of hysteria. But the humor was pretty warped and just WRONG!

Things started winding down around 2-ish, as no one had packed for Naples, and many were driving there on Monday morning. I finally hit bed at about 3am, and I woke the next morning at 10pm, when my alarm sounded to remind me we were going to DISNEYWORLD- EPCOT! WOOO HOOO!!!!

Andy was supposed to pick me up at 10:30 but was running a little late, so I had till about 11:15 to pack up some of my stuff. Can I just say I need to DOWNSIZE?!?! I began this tour with 2 suitcases (30in. and 28in.) and my computer bag, and I currently have 3 SUITCASES (all 30in!), my computer bag   AND my GUItar! I’m OUT OF CONTROL and will be shipping a fully packed suitcase home to LA this next week. *sigh*

We drove roughly 2 hours to Epcot, amusing ourselves with my fav. Queen and Elliot Smith albums (on the drive home it was Abbey Road 2wice, White Album disc 2 and Anthology disc 1 selections. We were amazing to see how MASSIVE D. World is and how Disney owns highways, etc. They’re taking over the world!

We arrived around 1:40pm, took the tram from C42 to the entrance, bought our tickets  and began our Epcot adventure, with so much enthusiasm I was practically dragging Andy behind me!

When were first got inside Epcot, we were both skeptical. What fun could be had there, with hardly a ride and no Mickey or Minnie to greet us? However, we were determined to have fun no matter what and hoped what everyone said about its wonderfulness was true. Indeed, it was!

We began by exploring the space stuff... which was fun, but nothing compares to the countries around the park! I saw Norway (where my grandpa is from), Germany (where my grandmas from), France, Italy, Japan, England... what a ball in each country.

Funny. in The UK, I was surprised to hear Beatles music coming from the stage, and when I walked over, I saw a tribute band called the British Invasion performing! It was HILLARIOUS to me, because the Fab Four (the most WONDERFUL and BRILLIANT Beatles band of them ALL, based in LA- www.thefabfour.net) are friends of mine, and how odd to see this band. We stayed and watched and tried to rock out to their music, and they asked if anyone had a birthday. I raised my hands expecting them to wish me a happy birthday, ask where I am from and then dedicate Birthday to me, like the Fabs do, but instead the CALLED me up onstage and made me jam to the song with them on... so embarrassing... A TAMBOURINE! Ahaha. Fun times! What a classic thing to happen to ME on my 21st. Just perfect. Andy got some good pictures and, regretfully, a short video clip! ahaha wow. BLACKMAIL!

I was so sad to leave, but were trying to plan to come again (or to another Disneyworld park) on Tuesday. YAY!

February 27th, 2004

Hershey was nice. It wasn’t as dull or painful as we all anticipated it being, and it was even kinda fun, considering we were there for Valentine's Day- its def. a town unlike any other... it was named for and built by Mr. Hershey, of Hershey’s chocolate, as in Hershey’s kisses. He built it so his workers would have a nice place to live while they mass produced chocolate. The street lamps are shaped like actual Hershey’s kisses, and alternate in silver (wrapped") and brown (unwrapped) as they line the streets.

There is a definite smell in Hershey's air...which at first smells kind of like poop, but slowly morphs into a sweet chocolate scent (sounds gross and weird, and one prob. cant understand it until one visits for oneself, so you all must go to Hershey! ha!). We smelled this quite strongly at our theatre.

The Friday before V-Day, Andy and Sean and I went to Chocolate World, the simulated Chocolate factory "tour" (which is actually a ride, as the real factory is top secret- silly cuz it’s the worst chocolate available in my opinion!) We learned how chocolate is made and got a free "smore" bar at the end of the tour. Then we saw a really surprisingly delightful 3-D show (we were all v. impressed by the one real person they had in it- she was GREAT!) and laughed and sang along and had a grand ole silly time! I bought tons of goodies for my nephews V-day gifts, as well as treats for my mum and sister, but i still have to mail them!

On Saturday I met up with reader Bethany and her friend Zach at 5pm between shows, and we went for dinner. Because it was V-Day, we had a 45 min. wait at red Robin, so we hit up the factory outlet stores, but I was v. good and only spent a minimal amount on sparkle initial rings (letters J and D) for me and my sister and valentines for the cast (Strawberry Shortcake for the gals and Spiderman for the boys).

We are now in Chicago. Chicago is AWESOME!!!!

It’s our first night here, and already I’ve explored China town and the neighborhood were staying in. This city is much like New York, except its energy is less frantic, which I LOVE! Its also not quite as cold right now as it is in NY, so that’s a relief! There is so much LIFE here...and as soon as I got in, I wanted to be a part of it, so I went walking... with no particular direction. I’ve already scouted out a few places I’ve got to visit... the 24hr rock and roll McDonalds, House of Blues, Hard Rock, Blue Chicago... a club. Oh, I’m SO glad I’m 21 and can get into these places, def. not for the alcohol but for the music and fun!
Off to bed! Ciao!

Write to Juliana at Juliana@haineshisway.com