Since it's a slow news night, here's the latest version of "I'm Still Queer," which I believe was "inspired' by Jose saying he had a burger and beer, or some such thing.
(draft parody of "I'm Still Here")
Football and hockey
I've played them all and my dear
I'm still queer
Rooted for Rocky
Clutching a burger and beer
But I'm queer
I've let my eyebrows
Grow unchecked
Snoozed when the highbrows
Spoke of Brecht
Missed Lincoln Center’s “King Lear”
But I'm queer
Loved “Oh Calcutta”
I thought “Applause” was too long
But I’m queer
Dissed Ethel Shut-tah
I always said her name wrong
But I’m queer
I was a youthful loudmouthed punk
I got too truthful, called shows junk
When I said Fosse’s “Chicago” stunk friends would sneer
Found Chita much too sincere
But I’m queer
Won’t talk about Audrey or Katharine Hepburn
Please, no one ask me again
When you don’t love Audrey or Katharine Hepburn
No one believes you love men
Skipped Loudon’s “Sweeney”
Heard that score too many times
But I’m queer
Alessandrini
That guy used too many rhymes
But I’m queer
I thought the “Phantom” songs were great
Started to chant 'em on a date
He got irate that I can't relate to “Steel Pier”
I passed on Claudia Shear
But I’m queer
Loved Tarantino
His stage debut gave me thrills
But I’m queer
I need a Beano
When the kids praise Peter Mills
But I’m queer
When “Mamma Mia” gave me cramps
My friend Maria called me Gramps
Got shook up clear from my ear to my rear
I’d rather hear some Enya
But I’m queer
I cheered at both Andrew and Michael’s “Wild Parties”
How could they both have been panned?
When you loved both Andrew and Michael’s “Wild Parties”
Boyfriends just don’t understand
Dramas to rock shows
I must keep up ‘cause my dear
I’m still queer
Praise shows or knock shows
Sometimes I have to make clear
I’m still queer
Some folk prefer a gay cliche
I can’t defer, that’s not my way
I couldn’t bear “Over Here”
And I’m quee-eer
Lord knows, I loved “Martin Guerre”
And I’m queer
Look who’s queer
I’m still queer
