And now, because I just don't think it's right to sweep this under the rug any longer. As most or all of you know, we had a contretemps a couple of weeks ago with someone who only comes here when it serves his purpose - which means he has rarely come here. He was rude, he was, in my opinion, wrong to harvest e-mail addresses and PMs from this site - very presumptuous if you ask me. I didn't make a huge deal out of it, but he thought I did, and then it escalated from there, and I refused to play that game, even though I wanted to. Privately, he e-mailed me several of the rudest e-mails I've ever received and to those, since they were private, I responded in kind, equally as rude. Fine and dandy. These sorts of people, however, always show their true colors and their true colors always speak more eloquently than I ever could. In his case, he kept telling me he'd received all sorts of e-mails supporting him and dissing me - and to prove his point, he forwarded me a PM from a dear reader, who did exactly that.
It wasn't multiple e-mails, so perhaps that was the only one he'd received because I really believe had he received others he would have sent them - that's the sort he is. I was very upset by the PM, which was very critical of me - knocking books that obviously hadn't been read (my work went downhill after the first book or first couple of books, said this person, even though as far as I know never read any of them post Writer's Block (and I'm not sure he read that). He went on to state that he never read the notes because he didn't care about my day. He said I was possessive of the people on this site (say WHAT?), and on and on, including the statement that it was MY fault that we'd lost several dear readers (say WHAT?).
I wrote him a note saying that his PM had made me sick to my stomach and that I was sorry he felt that way. As far as I know, he has never bothered to read that PM (this was confirmed to me by someone who's been in touch with him). Now, you must understand, I have never EVER been anything but supportive and kind to this person dating back to the days of The Real A. Never an unkind word from me, and total support through various travails. So, why would he have this horrible attitude towards me, and yet keep coming to the site, taking everyone's support, and getting whatever benefit he got? To me, that would be like going to a party at someone's home, and you despising the someone whose home it is, but going anyway because you like the guests. That's a little odd if you ask me. But ultimately there is a reason for all this and it all stems back, as I mentioned, to the Pogue/Panni debacle. Somehow I became the villain in that piece, and it continues to this day, I guess. In reality, I had nothing to do with it, other than trying to calm the waters. When the waters were finally calmed, one of the parties could not let that be and couldn't stop trying to roil them, and it wasn't Pogue. I banned the other party for a few hours, until I had a telephonic conversation with her, and I told her I would lift the ban if she promised to stop. She did, and I lifted the ban. But hell hath no fury like a woman banned - she basically left the site, and she began a series of "behind the scenes" e-mailing to as many people as she could - basically saying what a horrible person I was and how poorly I treated her. Now, the latter was entering personal territory and had nothing to do with this site - nor, I may add, was it true. But I'm not going into that - but her e-mail campaign worked for certain people and we lost wonderful regulars like Jay and Dan-In-Toronto.
When PennyO did her show in New York and many of us went, the people who attended the post-show dinner all saw first-hand what was really happening, and each and every one of them came to me and told me they'd been e-mailed but that they now saw what it was really about. I was, at least for those folks, somewhat vindicated, because yes, there are two sides to every tale. I mention this only because that was, apparently, when the person changed his opinion of me. In fact, he visited LA and didn't call ME but called her and saw her. It's pretty obvious to anyone with eyes. That whole period was a bit upsetting to me because everyone just seemed so willing to believe her, without even asking me if it was true. But we go on, and life goes on.
But now we've lost another dear reader thanks to all that. Hopefully he learned a little lesson - not to send PMs to people he doesn't really know and shouldn't trust. I would have thought some response from him would have been nice, but, alas, it was not to be. It was not my intention to make him leave the site, but I suppose he was embarrassed that I'd seen what he'd written. If he would have, at any point, asked me if what he'd been told was true, I could have straightened him out. But, it's just easier and more fun to believe the lies, I guess.
And so, I'm sure most of you have noticed that tomovoz has left us. What I want everyone to know, and I mean EVERYONE, including someone who I've known for forty something years, is that I am NOT the villain, I have never been the VILLAIN, and this, in fact, has nothing to do with me, as much as certain types would like to have it be. All I have ever done in terms of this here site is try to make a positive, wonderful, supportive place for people to come. Do we have friction occasionally - sure. Have some of us gotten unnecessarily snippy - sure. Do we get over it? Sure. Because the bottom line is this is a pretty wonderful place. I'm sorry tomovoz left - I'm more sorry that he feels the way he does, because a lot of that feeling, I think, stems from being told untruths. I have no doubt there is e-mailing going on behind the scenes still, which is why I felt it necessary to set the record straight.
And that's the way I see it.
