Pirate walks into a bar. Bartender hasn't seen him for awhile and says:
"Wow. Must be rough being a pirate. You have a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eyepatch...."
"Yea. We were practicing with the cannon on the first day and I got my leg shot off, and I got this one."
"Hmmm.....how about the hook?"
"Well we were sword fighting in a pirate fight, and I got my hand cut off, so they put on this hook."
"Hmmm....how about the eyepatch?"
"Oh well, a bird pooped in my eye."
"That wouldn't hurt your eye so much, would it?"
"Well - it was my first day with the hook."