Thought I'd share my multi-part parody of the upcoming production of A Little Night Music. I'd love comments on any specifics if anyone cares to offer them.
You saw Web Site Story and Worst Slide Story celebrating last year’s revival of West Side Story
Now we preview the internet parody for this year’s smash Stephen Sondheim revival – here’s a look at A Little Site Music, based on “Smileys of a Summer Site”
THE MILLER'S SON
(Petra resurfaces as an arrogant blogger)
We'll report on Miss Zeta Jones
Be the first to write dish on the internet
Tuesday night on our mobile phones
We'll have texting
Showtime!
It’s a quip and a zinger as I’m fingering the keys
What a trip, the first act’s over
The script’s nice and naughty and the audience is all agog
There’s a very long line at the rest room for men
And a very short wait at the ladies
And I’m feeling so fine I think I’ll go again
And have time left to check on my dog
But at showtime
My poor iphone is losing all glimmer of light
And the cybergeeks choose to read some other site
So I go grab some booze, spend the rest of the night in a fog
‘Cause a person should celebrate everything - on their blog
I must report on Miss Zeta Jones
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SEND IN THE CLOWNS
(Disarray Armfeldt at her computer writing to her rough-trade beau)
Since you’re not rich
Sorry my dear
I get my seat at the front
You take the rear
Send!
Darling don't bitch
Your fault I fear
You're just a working class grunt
Go have a beer
Send!
When they announced
That starry cast
I knew that going without you I'd have such a blast
Making an entrance with you on my arm would draw glares
I'll take row C
You go upstairs
So until then
Text me a smile
We'll see the circus again
That's more your style
The circus has clowns
You comprehend clowns
Send!
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EVERY DAY A LITTLE DEATH
(a whiny Countess trying to buy tickets to A Little Night Music)
Every day I’m on the net
Hit the buttons then repeat
It’s not certain but my silver
Could be pawned to buy a seat
The computer shows a pair
And it disses me
Does it think that I would care
For side row U
If I have to spend a pile
I want third row on the aisle
Staying hip’s a costly business
(Oh how true)
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LIAISONS
In my villa I turn on my computer
It's the only thing I've turned on in years
In my villa I turn on my computer
When I shut it down on Frid'y
The desktop was so tidy
The icons, what happened to them
The icons, oh damn
Distasteful
The whole lot of them
What of them
What will come of my poor ram?
What once was a fine display
Is now just a frigging holy mess
What once gave me peace makes my poor heart skip
So who is so damn blase
If they will not come here and confess
I’ll aim the lens and catch them on my Flip
No not on my Flip, my Nikons -
Oh, the icons
I hope no one has screwed up my computer
There's the one kind of mail I receive
And if someone has screwed up my computer
I might take up some drinking
Lord, what were they thinking
The icons, what's happened to them
The icons, how mean
I feel it -
Some curmudgeon’s
High dudgeon
Begrudgin’ the placement on my screen
The lack of structure is so keen.
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THE GLAMOROUS LIFE [big finish]
(the box office lady with the Sold Out sign)
No unused house seats
Ha ha ha
No unused house seats
Ha ha ha
No unused house seats
Ha ha ha
I/O, the S-R-O life
------------------------------------
A WEEKEND IN THE COUNTRY
(verse – from “A weekend, just think of it Petra!”)
That usher
Oh what have you done dear
He told us
One more flight to go
Keep moving
I’m sure we’ll have fun dear
We will have a lovely night – oh no
The seats are an effront’ry
That’s the last time
That we buy on the net
The seats are an effront’ry
I’m aghast, I’m
Quite upset
The seats are an effront’ry
Was your screen in
Some illegible res
The seats are an effront’ry
If we’re seen in
Upper mezz
Dear I’m vexed, I’m
Very nervous
For we came to see a star
Honey next time
Call my service
For I cannot tell Catherine from Aaron Lazar
Yes I’m weakened by effront’ry
Did you ask them
For the best you could get
The seats are an effront’ry
‘Cause…
There’s no one to ask on the net!
