So suddenly, it's Spring... have you noticed all the magnolias and fruit trees all decked out for whatever Prom they're attending? Whoosh, just overnight - a few 80-degree days, and badabing, we got Spring. First flowering almost always give me a touch of melancholy. I do know now what I didn't know then. Last year, I mulled this strange juxtaposition of great joy and deep melancholy. I wrote a poem. Here it is:
Spring Equinox, and suddenly to plant
Snapdragons is the pulsing need. To limb
The dogwood, liberate the force
Of blossoms, holding tight to their perfume.
A robin trills, and starlings dart and nest
Above a predatory eye. She watches
So patiently, so carefully. She watches,
And I watch her, and dig and hoe and plant
And listen to the songs of starling nest-
Construction. There, the starlings on a limb
Pause, watching me. Familiar, faint perfume,
A fragment of last summer’s fragrant force
That caught me, held me, holds me still. I force
Myself back to the task. So still, she watches,
Undeterred by memory’s perfume.
Her life, her focus is all Now. I plant
Snapdragons underneath a dogwood limb
In last year’s garden. And my need to nest
Is haunted by a past, best, lasting nest…
A fragrant remnant, lingering, a force
Like pain remaining in a severed limb.
The feral forest folk do not wind watches,
Do not mind time in tiny ticks. Each plant
Unfurls its life in present tense. Perfume
Of seasons past, regret holds no perfume
For busy starlings, building this year’s nest,
Each Spring a new beginning. As I plant,
Remembered seasons hold me flightless. Force
Of gravity has lots of help. The watches
Are winding down in weary eye and limb
And sore, scarred, pulsing heart. Remembered limb
Still aches - a voice, a face, a form perfume
My time-bound winding down. And yet, who watches
The tearing-down of an abandoned nest?
From ashes, embers, memories, some force
Ignites this present, pulsing need to plant.
The starlings leave their limb; their need to nest
Intoxicates the cat - pungent perfume,
A feral force. She watches. And I plant.
