RED-NECK VALENTINE'S LOVE POEM(http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL242/891350/14316125/230640792.jpg)
Collards is green
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have
a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.
You have som'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey, these won't do.
Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!
And the word of the day is: ENSORCELLING!
The Macbeths arrived while I was writing my post on my father's death.
Is Larry joining me for Vampire Hours?
der Brucer
Bring 'em on!
(http://re3.mm-a4.yimg.com/image/3042218835)
der Brucer
Oh, the rain comes a-pitter patter
And I'd like to remain in bed;
Skies are weeping while the world is sleeping
Troubles heaping on our head.
It is vain to remain and chatter
And to wait for a clearer sky;
Helter-skelter I must fly for shelter
Till the clouds roll by.
... trouser alterations,
Dear Elmore, my deepest condolences to you. Stay firm in the face of the MacBeths and do what you know is right and best.
Favorite songs of the 70s:
I CAN"T THINK OF A SINGLE ONE! DAMN!
And the word of the day is: ENSORCELLING!Clint, the square-jawed movie hero, raises his gun with the LONG SILENCER and, taking aim at the evil CLONE, LINGERS for a few seconds, ENSORCELLING the audience into wondering not whether he will fire, but when.
Advice for all of us: Tell your family what you want now so that when they go to the funeral home to make plans for you, they know what you want. My family has specific instructions.
Advice for all of us: Tell your family what you want now so that when they go to the funeral home to make plans for you, they know what you want. My family has specific instructions.
Will we never get to page two?
Some of the things he tried to sell us were appalling.
Good morning!
A beautiful, bright, and chilly morning here; exactly what a February morning should be.
Ben - regarding FOLLIES:
I'd bet that if they do just a one-month or two-month summer run, they'd be able to "get away with" (I seriously say that with no real value judgment) simply calling it the acclaimed Encores Follies concert (or something similar) and essentially put out there what they had on that City Center stage, perhaps minus the books in hand, making it a "special event" rather than a full production. But of course, if they want it to be considered a full-fledged revival, they probably couldn't do that. Still, remounting the concert for a month or two could also be a way of evaluating what the market might be for a full revival. And importantly, as long as they didn't mislead the audience as to what they were going to get, I think more people would be happy to have the opportunity to see what actually got those great reviews.
Speculations on this round are endless, but my initial impulse is that it's over the fact that I am the executor and that he isn't. He's already let me know I don't deserve an inheritance, so I'm sure this latest turn of events has him and Lady M a bit miffed.
Advice for all of us: Tell your family what you want now so that when they go to the funeral home to make plans for you, they know what you want. My family has specific instructions.
Jo Ann and I were looking for a shirt and tie to go with his suit, and we found a shirt-tie set I had bought him for Christmas about 5 years ago, still in its Macy's box. He preferred to dress very casually, and sometime after that Christmas, he told me all he really needed was boxer shorts and socks. So every Christmas I'd send him 7 pairs of socks and seven pairs of flamboyantly-printed boxers from Philene's basement. I may send DR Cason the ones with the hearts for Valentine's Day and the snowflakes and holly berries for Christmas appearances.
As for the defective teats, is it any wonder? Their NIPPLES WERE FROZEN!
Ha-ha-ha ~ you HHWers crack me up --- as our Grand Poo-Paw would say, where else on the net would you find folks discussing defective teats, frozen nipples, and... etc. etc etc... :o..... :)
Was your mother Irish?
(if not, she's an honorary one now...)
Um, make that "Pictures". Sheesh.
Advice for the funeral home: Decide ahead of time exactly what you want and be united. Funeral directors are about as pushy as car salesmen.
But, then again, look at what's on TV. Our banter here may be sillly at times, but it's of far higher calibre!
Found in Edisaurus' shopping cart:
(http://cdn.news.aol.com/aolnews_photos/04/07/20070214142709990024)
I also apparently lucked out in that the people I dealt with at the funeral home were kind and sensitive. It hadn't dawned on me that they could be pushy.
I've never heard Mr. Sondheim's Being Alive as a disco song, although I'd like to.
Methinks dear reader Jeanne means Stayin' Alive not Being Alive - I've never heard Mr. Sondheim's Being Alive as a disco song, although I'd like to.
Mom had made clear that she though money spent on a casket was a total waste- just a plain pine box would be fine (she even considered buying one ahead of time and using it for a blanket chest!)
der Brucer
The family told me that he watched that film every day until he passed on, and he and his sister, who were estranged, reunited after she got her copy. As we were talking about his death and funeral last night, I couldn't help but think of Larry's dad and wonder how things were going. We started talking about how we wanted our funerals to be, and everyone seemed shocked that both the "bride" and I had already chosen the music for our funerals.
It made me think...is this weird, or have other DR's chosen a song or two for their funeral? If so, what would they be?
Thursday , February 15, 2007
WASHINGTON —
The newest $1 coin, bearing the likeness of George Washington, is going into circulation around the country just in time for next week's celebration of the first president's birthday.
U.S. Mint officials hope they have overcome problems that doomed its two predecessors, but coin experts are still skeptical.
…
The Mint is making sure the coins, which are golden in color and slightly larger and thicker than a quarter, will be widely available so people will not be disappointed when they show up at banks looking for the coins.
…
...after the big vow renewal party...
I think I would have liked your mother.
Dumb, dunb, dumb!
(http://www.foxnews.com/images/262559/1_62_021507_dollar2.jpg)
New George Washington $1 Coin Makes Debut (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,252132,00.html)I'm sure all cash-register drawers have been modified to accommodate dollar coins (just like they handle 50 cent pieces and two dollar bills!) However, I'm sure the NYC PATH terminal ticket machines and the Post Office Vending machines will be ready to go!
In most areas, gentleman's coin purses are not in fashion.
der Brucer
Threaten Pedestrian Safety
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Hybrid cars have been hailed as the answer to a litany of problems in the U.S., from global warming to gas prices. But now one group is labeling them as something else: a threat.
According to the National Federation of the Blind, hybrid cars, which run on an energy efficient mix of gasoline and electricity, are problematic for children, elderly pedestrians and the blind.
Why? Hybrids are much quieter than their conventional counterparts, so silent that the NFB says that they can be difficult to hear coming down the street. The group conducted tests to try to prove their point.
..
In order to make the cars more audible and safer, the NFB would like to see manufacturers of the vehicles emit a signal or sound that would alert pedestrians and others of an oncoming car.
...
After that, a trek to the bank to empty dad's safe deposit box: insurance premiums, a CD for $7000 and my mother's wedding rings, which dad left to Randy's daughter Allison.
I guess I will be buried in my Go-Me-Go Duds.
(creatively named "My iPod")
I would like to read your father's obituary, and I imagine others here would, too. It sounds like you have a wonderful send-off that will honor him well!
DR Edisaurus, I have never heard of The Collins Kids...but I am now intrigued.(http://www.rockabillyhall.com/CollinsKids.hdr.jpg)
Larry Collins experienced considerable success as the author of "Delta Dawn" and "You're the Reason God Made Oklahoma," both nominated for Grammy awards, and he recorded his sister singing duets with longtime friends and associates like Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson
I dropped my trousers off to this cute little Greek(?) tailor between the age of 60 and 1000 who measured my waist and wrote "open all seams."
Pictures, pitchers - all good funeral talk!
der Brucer
German/English
But the large Italian/Polish/Irish immigrant community in Philly
surely influenced family habits.
der Brucer
Oh, my.......(just teasing, I know what you meant, but the sentence sounds so... :o...one way to get your mind off all the funeral details...) ;) Love you, DR ELmo!
I'm sure my GaGa is showing him around the other side right now!
Hey, the Germans and English like their libations (and pubs), too. Come to think of it, there are only a few cultures/heritages that don't...so I guess the Irish don't have that market cornered...
I hope your GaGa greets me at the Gate (IF and when I arrive) playing a tune on that ukulele -- with all her bandmates -- how fun would that be?!
It made me think...is this weird, or have other DR's chosen a song or two for their funeral? If so, what would they be?
The English and Irish have the 100 proof market cornered!
der Brucer
-- with me naked (who needs clothes at a closed casket funeral) in a pine box...
Not sure I like the idea of entering the hereafter with splinters in my ass :-\
der Brucer
SPLINTER IN THE ASS - wasn't that an old film, or am I thinking of Splendor in...oh, never mind.
If it's OK with DR Elmore, I can post the link as soon as it's on the website of the local newspaper.
Thursday already.
Many of my favorites have been mentioned...and the 70's were disco....
This morning I went for a walk. Spring is coming. The herons are building nests:
Why have I visions of you on a flaming raft drifting over the horizon?
And who will edit the film of your end-times?
Not sure I like the idea of entering the hereafter with splinters in my ass :-\
der Brucer
It took me many years, but I finally learned to return the love.
der Brucer
And, Silly, Sillly, Silly:
Group Says Hybrid Cars Are Too Quiet (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,251998,00.html)Great idea - a siren on every car! - Won't Manhattan sound swell!
der Brucer
I guess I will be buried in my Go-Me-Go Duds.
Have you checked on legal authority - safe deposit boxes and all financial accounts are generally frozen at death until proper probate procedures are followed!
My poor father was hounded by the state of New Jersey for a criminal prosecution because he drew a check on my parents' joint bank account to pay a previsously contracted joint obligation. (That he was executor and sole benficiary mattered not.)
der Brucer
My DH Richard is a member of the honor guard that will be part of Mr. Moore's funeral, but won't be back from Wisconsin in time to participate :'(
would that be MILK Go-Me-Go Duds?
Or maybe you'd prefer the dark chocolate?
Will we never get to page seven?
Edicaurus - Got the package. Very much appreciated!
It made me think...is this weird, or have other DR's chosen a song or two for their funeral? If so, what would they be?
Methinks dear reader Jeanne means Stayin' Alive not Being Alive - I've never heard Mr. Sondheim's Being Alive as a disco song, although I'd like to.There's always the disco Sweeney Todd.
Edisaurus said:
It made me think...is this weird, or have other DR's chosen a song or two for their funeral? If so, what would they be?
Nope, retentive man that I am, I placed a couple of suggestions in my last wishes document. I did say that whoever arranges may play whatever they want (within reason) but I want two songs played, "Until I Met You (Corner Pocket)" from the Manhattan Transfer Mecca for Moderns album and "What Would I Do?" from Falsettoland. No matter how many times I've heard the song it still makes me cry.
I got the mother lode in the mail today; all of the DVDs I was waiting for arrived on the same day!
I think I may have time to watch A SHOCK TO THE SYSTEM tonight before the marathon of TV shows starts.
And, DR George, on the cover of the DVD, it says that there are two more of these movies planned for airing in 2007, so we will have two more of these mysteries to look forward to!
DR Ginny, I would greatly appreciate that!
I'm a little shocked that none of our bright hainsies/kimlets have answered the query in the notes - who came up with the name Milk Duds and why?There are notes?
I'm a little shocked that none of our bright hainsies/kimlets have answered the query in the notes - who came up with the name Milk Duds and why?
LOL George--2 minds with but a single mouse!
Yea!! And yesterday, the series two of "Doctor Who" arrived! Now I can re-watch the final episode on my 27" TV and not my little 14" computer monitor from YouTube.com. :DI finished running the second season two nights ago.
I don't have a song picked out, but a couple of years ago, my sister bought me a burial plot for Christmas! My whole family (and my niece's father's family) are all going to be buried around each other. :)Won't that be a little late for circleing the wagons?
Ginny, I've just packaged up your stuff - it will go out first thing in the morning.
I don't know why I'm so tired, but I am."Don't you think she looks tired?" asked the Doctor.
Has anyone actually listened to their Brain CD? Jeez.
If there's anyone who'd like to come in and attend the Brain CD release party on 2/23, let me know.
My mother had an open casket and I refused to go anywhere near it.
I finished running the second season two nights ago.
Question, DR George - Do you watch the "Confidential" bits right after each chapter, or wait until you've finished the season?
It made me think...is this weird, or have other DR's chosen a song or two for their funeral? If so, what would they be?
Has anyone actually listened to their Brain CD? Jeez.
I'm betting that der B has already booked all the other TVs when I'll want to watch Iron Chef America. :(
"Don't you think she looks tired?" asked the Doctor.
George should remember that one!
Get your copy, or two, today!!"
I think dear reader Sandra should be made into floop.
DR Sandra told me what she wants when she passes on. She wishes to be made into a diamond that I shall wear in a necklace.
...or ten!
Miss Karen, you must post your review to amazon immediately.
I wasn't feeling too hot today so I came home a little early and what did I find????
The Brain was in my mailbox...yeah
Think I'll head on over to iTunes and buy lots of the above mentioned music.
We've already had several RSVPs for our little partay.
I am still awaiting my free plane ticket!
Larry, I'm totally confused by her reaction to the $7900. Doesn't that mean that not only are you not ahead, but actually that you've been at a disadvantage dating back ten years, and that's money that could have come in handy and made your life easier years ago - maybe I'm not phrasing this right, but I think her logic is absurd.
Have I missed the announcement or has anyone else noticed that Adriana Patti has just crossed into HHW God(dess)-ness??
Congrats to Adriana!! ;D
if Macbeth will provide proof in receipts, I will reimburse the comopany to piss the jerk off.
According to family gossip, the family business paid for Macbeth's first divorce which was really really expensive, paid for an abortion of Macbeth's girfriend, bought off his second wife, paid for his swimming pool and put his daughters through college. Is something wrong with this picture?
I can fight reason but I cannot fight assholism.
I can fight reason but I cannot fight assholism.
Left work a little early in order to make the final preparations for my book group. We're meeting here tonight to discuss Mozart's Women by Jane Glover. Yesterday I made a batch of Vienna Dream Bars and a German chocolate cake to serve along with the foil-wrapped Mozart-Herz'l candy hearts that I ordered from Vermont Country Store.
And we'll be looking for a few amazon Brain reviews, too.
Same as Cillaliz, BK, but with a different "here".
DR Sandra told me what she wants when she passes on. She wishes to be made into a diamond that I shall wear in a necklace.
I didn't realize such a thing was an option.
Will we never get to page ten?
Will we never get to page eleven?
...oh and speaking of autographed BRAIN FROM PLANET X cds...I think I got jipped!
I seem to recall that there were going to be four autographs on each CD...mine only has 3!
I see Bruce Kimmel's, and Lauren Rubins', but the third one is a big 'ole scribble....it is either Kevin Spirtas or Cason Murphy...one way or another I am missing a most important signature!
(It's soup-- not vomit)
Put on your thinking cap, DERBRUCER, and invent something!
Dark...always!
Mandingo's Woman!
- Cason's is in the back of the booklet
Vixdad has some peculiar ideas about rigging up his skelton marionette like and have it mounted and standing in the corner of the livingroom...
... we found a giant limb (about 20 feet long, 15 inches around ) ...
My whole family (and my niece's father's family) are all going to be buried around each other. :)
A bit of advance planning and the Rev Jones's Kool Aid recipe, and you could have a very economical family group funeral/burial.
Motto: "The family that dies toether, saves together"
der Brucer
Have I missed the announcement or has anyone else noticed that Adriana Patti has just crossed into HHW God(dess)-ness??
Congrats to Adriana!! ;D
And to save space, we're going to be stacked! The first person for each plot will be buried a little deeper than usual, I guess, and then when the next person goes, they'll be buried (in their own coffin) right on top of the first one. :D
I thought we wuz gettin' a new photographic avatar from Miss Patti.