If life is a cabaret, then Professor BK should be your life coach.
This was quite obvious after two hours in the presence of said prof, who last night at Los Angeles City College imparted wise words for performers dreaming of one day staging their own nightery act.
Here, in no particular order, are six cabaret sins:
--Don’t be smarmy, slick or oily. Professor BK, and the audience, will hate you.
--Don’t take a drink of water between the set-up of a joke and your punchline.
--Don’t bring up your affliction. “The audience,” Professor BK warns, “does not want to know about your polio.”
--Do not attempt to wow the crowd with trivia like, “This song was arranged by Peter Matz.” Instead, draw the audience in by telling them what the song means to you.
--For god’s sake, don’t point. Professor BK just might cut off the offending finger.
--Do not, under any circumstances, hire a musical director who smells.