DR FJL, I'm surprised no one has done a Petula Clark "Downtown" parody yet.
Of course, because I couldn't help myself, I'd done this when the prices for Petula's show were announced:
Tune of DON’T SLEEP IN THE SUBWAY (Petula Clark recording)
You just read her news
And it gives you the blues
‘Cause you think there’s no way you can go, dear
(whoo-oo-oo-oo-oo)
You once were a snob
Now you’re out of a job
So you sweat that you can’t see Pet’s show, dear
But for a while just try to live less large
You’ll save enough to pay the cover charge
Try eating at Subway, darling
Try shopping at K-mart, hon
Save money at Subway, darling
Petula’s back
You know you wanna go
Get in the black
You’ll have the dough and have fun
(repeat chorus)