Yesterday, whilst traveling around the DelMarVa peninsula in our motorcar, der Brucer and I discussed (among many many many other things) why tapas bars, in the tradition of tapas bars in Spain, cannot exist in Los Angeles.
We're blaming the Board of Health, or whatever it's called.
The idea of tapas bars in Spain is, after all, that people drop by one place, sample the tapas that that bar specializes in, then move on to the next bar (while another crowd of people comes in and replaces the first).
Can't happen in Los Angeles.
For one thing, in Spain people bar-hop by walking from bar to bar. People don't walk in Los Angeles. They drive. And drinking and driving don't mix too well. Not when what is being drunk is alchoholic, at least. (Diet Coke is another matter.)
Second, bar owners in Los Angeles (and other cities across the nation) much prefer their customers to stay at
their bar, and try to do everything they can to keep their customers from wandering off.
Unfortunately, the one thing the bar owners
cannot do is serve food. And this is where the Board of Health comes in.
It is illegal for a bar to serve food without spending gazillions on proper refrigeration and food storage and cooking and licencing and such. Most bar owners these days don't have the capital to do that. So instead they just serve booze and maybe some munchies that are salty and get the customers thirsty.
Now, der B and I can remember when there were bars that
did serve food, flying under the Board of Health's radar or something. You could go to Floyds in Long Beach, or the Stud in the Silverlake area, or other places and get a burger or fries to go with that beer (or Diet Coke). But the Board of Health has closed those operations down. The food simply had to go.
Floyds doesn't even exist any more, and the Stud goes by the name of Faultline. (I'd post a link, but this is a family site.
No, really, Faultline's website asks if you're over eightteen and allowed to look at
exciting thrilling disgusting pictures in your area, and you have to click an "OK" before you can access those
wonderful enthralling unseemly pictures.)
Well, that's essentially why there are no authentic tapas bars in Los Angeles.
End of story.
